Wolves, Sun, and Vampires
by AliceOfTheVorpalSword
Summary: A story about a half-blood vampire getting her feelings in check and coming into her own womanhood. Trying to break away from her family, make her own decisions, and dealing with two incredibly caring and hunky men is harder than it seems, and she's on the edge of having a meltdown. Not to mention that the Volturi are getting curious. Who will finally get her for keeps?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I laughed aloud, and the sound bounced away from me into the dark recesses of the jungle, only to be repeated back in echoes over and over again. Nahuel's teeth gleamed in the late afternoon sun as he smiled at the sound.

"Ah," he sighed. "Such a beautiful sound. Like a waterfall showering down into a clear pool."

I smiled at his description and felt the rush of blood flush my cheeks. I was used to people complimenting me constantly, on my looks, on the way I sounded, on the way I smelled. With Nahuel it was different. I had only seen him once before this, at that time in the clearing when I was just a baby and he saved me from being destroyed by the Volturi. Since coming to South America this year to visit I've grown to like Nahuel _a lot_ but I was always hyper aware that I was the only female like him who wasn't his sister.

I stuck my tongue out and scrunched my eyes up to slits. He chuckled at my expression, his dark golden toned skin glistening slightly, his dark hair faintly blue, and his pink lips pulling back to reveal white teeth. A dimple appeared in his right cheek.

He was, all in all, quite breathtaking. My mother had been right when she commented in the clearing on him being beautiful. Unconsciously I reached out my hand toward him, and he leaned forward to clasp my hand in his. His touch barely registered as the memory surged to the forefront of my mind. I saw him as he was now, sitting on a fallen log covered with moss, one foot resting on the bark, the sun reflecting off of him and my subconscious connecting with my conscious as I thought of him as beautiful, and my recollection of that day in the meadow, as I first saw him, and my agreement with my mother's assessment. I heard his slight shift as he came to kneel in the soft dirt in front of me. Suddenly I gasped and pulled away, my hand slipping out of his.  
His dark eyes sparkled as he looked into my face, full of awe and small curl of a smile at the corner of his lips. I inhaled, a small sharp sound, and tried to scoot backward on the narrow log, looking down of my hands instead of at him.

"Nahuel, I, I…I'm sorry I didn't realize…I'm so used to sharing, I didn't mean…" I stared at him in shock, embarrassment coloring my voice as I trailed off. "I'm sorry if I offended you in some way." I finished offhandedly.

He closed his eyes and exhaled. When he opened them again he smiled a regretful smile and leaned back on the balls of his feet a fraction of an inch. His hands sought mine and I surrendered them, his warm ones wrapping around mine in my lap.

"You're not used to sharing so openly with someone not from your family."

He said it softly, but he said it understandingly, a statement.

I nodded, dropping my eyes, too ashamed to look him in the face just yet, to see his disappointment marring his happiness in the light of his eyes. I felt a strong pull to him, but I wasn't quite sure my pleasure in his company was the same as his in mine. I couldn't believe I had slipped up in this explicit of a way. I've only ever shared my deeper memories and thoughts this openly with my family, and Jacob.

I winced. Thinking of Jacob made me tense, so I tended not to think about him too much. Ever since my parents took me away from Forks when I was just, biologically, one year old, we hadn't been in contact. Though I heard him talk to my parents sporadically over the phone.

Twenty three years ago, when I was (biologically) one, but really more like an eight year old in appearance, my parents had decided that Jacob and I had had enough attachment. They voiced that it was probably healthier for meto have a break from my overly-adoring wolf protector. So they whisked me away in a plane to the small island off the coast of Brazil for some quality time as a family unit. Once I got bored with Isle Esme (which took a few short months), I started my temper tantrums. They stemmed out of the frustration of not going home and being separated from the rest of the family (and Jacob). My parents tried to console me but I could not be calmed. (They stopped me from wrecking the entire house by mentioning that my grandmother might not like being left with a pile of rubble instead.) Mother and Father explained the situation, after I had demanded all night and screamed all the next day, that Jacob had imprinted on me and I had to decide for myself who and what I wanted, when I got _older_, much _much_ older, without his constant presence influencing my decision.

I had consented to their wisdom and tried to put my strange wolf-human companion from my mind. After getting used to the separation, memories from my first few days haunted my dreams; A russet colored wolf, his eyes black and furious, full of hate and desperation, lunging at me from across the room. I woke up choking a lot. But it made me think, during the sane hours of daylight, that Jacob had not always adored me so. This first memory I had of him was when he had wanted nothing more than to rip my throat out, murder in his heart after how I had very nearly killed my mother from the effort of conceiving, carrying and birthing me. It was only his imprinting, I knew, that had kept him from murdering me right there in the living room. This new realization pained me, and I tried to be as kind and loving to my mother as I could be after that. But it also irritated me, gnawing at the edges of my brain – the knowledge that his affection for me was somehow false.

Nahuel cleared his throat delicately. I squeezed his slender fingers and stood, ready to run. Grinning, I let my fingers interlock with his as I tugged at him. He paused, a finger in the air, his eyes grave.

"Renesmee." His voice made my name into music.

I looked up at him, my breath suddenly stilling. He had me locked in an intense gaze, and I couldn't help but look into his eyes, so much like the warm inviting brown of the trees around us.

"Hmmm?" I let confusion and subtle interest flow to him through our linked hands, intentionally this time.

"Could you look at what I have to show you, please?" His tone was slightly teasing, his smile reassuring.

My father had only recently been practicing with me to test my abilities. I had successfully, a very few number of times, broken into the minds of people around me and picked out the memories or intentions or thoughts they were thinking about. It was faint, a very weak image, blurred and watery, but I could usually get the gist of it.

My face twisted into a soured expression and I twitched my fingers in agitation. He stood still. I sucked in a breath and hesitantly pushed against his mind. Straining, I forced myself to focus on the faint colors that swirled this way and that, not creating any sort of picture at all.

Then, all of a sudden, so clearly the memory could have been mine, I saw what he was trying to show me. Nahuel was trying to show me _me._ My bronze hair shone like a halo around my face, my green eyes bright with excitement, my smile wide and on the verge of laughter, pink lips and cheeks, pale skin shimmering. It was from the first day I came to visit, earlier this year. I had been so delighted that he and his aunt had tagged along with the Amazonians, and all the people I had wanted to see were together that I had laughed aloud in joy and excitement and literally flung myself into their arms.

The memory faded and he grinned at me openly. I looked at him in shock.

"I was excited to see everyone again," I said a bit defensively.

"That's what makes it my favorite memory of you. That carefree abandonment and absolutely pure emotion," he tugged at my hand suddenly, "Come, let us hunt."

The wind shifted, and brought with it the smell of dinner. I crouched in anticipation, and we both sprung forward into the shadows of the jungle.

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_~The story begins. Hope you're intrigued! Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Seth was getting irritated with me. I tried to yank my thoughts into a safer place but failed miserably. For all I knew, Nessie had shacked up with some zombie out in a ghost town somewhere and half weird vampiric/human/zombie children running around in the yard. No, not running, _stumbling around_ in the yard, with their arms and legs falling off. My correction didn't help my warped psychological musings.

_They left, Jake, snap out of it. There's nothing you can do. It's…it's probably healthier for Nessie anyway, you know…_

The pain in Seth's voice was unmistakable. Edward and Bella's sudden declaration of moving had hurt him almost as much as it had hurt me. Then again, maybe not. My whole chest ached and throbbed like my organs were missing.

I clenched my teeth against the pain, the burning, that came with thinking about Nessie; Nessie, the whole reason of my existence, who had been ripped away from me without a thought. I disregarded that Bella and Edward had told me gently, trying to let me down easy, and with plenty of time to get used to the idea that I would be separated from…my _life._

A low growl ripped through me. _Bella _should have understood what this would be like for me, being away from Nessie. She should have remembered what she had been like when Edward had left her. She had been a zombie, trying to hold herself together, barely even alive without the bloodsucker there. She should have never even tried to get me used to the idea. She should have just killed me instead. The thought of zombies turned my thoughts back to Nessie again. Maybe she hadn't shacked up with a zombie after all, maybe she was out there, wild, tearing up the town and bloodlust in her veins. I shook my head quickly. I couldn't picture my little Nessie as a murderer. Or maybe she was just living a normal human life, going to school, university I'd bet, and getting drunk on Friday nights. I growled again as I thought of boys trying to get her number and get her back to their beds. Red clouded my vision and I suddenly wanted to tear into someone.

"_Jake…Maybe we should go out tonight. Get your mind off…"_

"_I'm fine." _I cut him off before he could get into a deeper physiological analysis about my thoughts. I've had enough of that for a lifetime in the past 23 years.

They had left the day after we celebrated her first birthday. She had just started to get used to human food, and had smashed the cake eagerly in her mouth, icing covering cheeks and chin. I smiled at the memory, but it quickly vanished as I started brooding again. They had told me of their extended vacation months before the party, but I hadn't really believed them until I started seeing them decide what to take and what to leave behind. I had yelled and fought and pleaded and begged for me to go with them, but they didn't let me. They gave me some bullshit that it would be healthier and less confusing for Nessie when she was older if she grew up apart from me. I told them I wouldn't force her to love me, I would be whatever she needed – best friend, brother, bodyguard, pet dog – I would be anything and do anything for her.

That was just it, though. That sealed the deal. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut before I had said the words "be anything and do anything" for Nessie. The bloodsuckers didn't want that kind of devotion marring her judgment for her life later on. So they kept their packing light and their decision firm, and swooped away with Nessie in the early hours of the morning after her party. I had slept the night, curled around Nessie's mattress in the middle of the living room where she had temporarily been sleeping due to construction on the little cottage. I had just stared at her, listening to her breathing and her hummingbird heartbeat, wanting the night to last forever. Her golden-bronze curls had spread across the blanket like a curtain of precious metal, her raspberry lips parted and showing a sliver of white teeth, and her soft warm skin reflecting the light just a little bit. I looked at her like that all night, trying to keep the memory burnt into my mind.

When they came to take her away I snapped at them, but Jasper and Emmett lunged at me, holding me down, while Bella and Edward packed her away. When they let me up I tore after the car, speeding with it to the airport. But once I got there I couldn't find them anywhere and the stupid airport crew wouldn't let me through to the gates without a ticket. I told them it was an emergency but they said I either had to buy a ticket or they would page the person for me. I didn't have enough cash on me for the ridiculous airline prices, and I knew they would never answer a page from me. I left, trying to work out in my head where they would go. I phased and pounded the forest, crossing state lines, searching.

I had searched for her for 18 years. Straight.

For the first year they were gone I hung around the west coast, waiting for them to get back. Some small part of my brain told me that they had been serious when they said "until she grew up" but I wasn't having it. They wouldn't do this to me. They knew I wouldn't hurt Nessie or anything. They had to come back. Slowly the other Cullens left the house too, probably congregating somewhere, though they swore to Quil, Embry and Seth (who then told me) that they were just off to live their own lives for a while. Right, I snorted, off to live their own lives _with Nessie_. But I couldn't go with them. So I took off one night, expanding my search to the whole world. I just had to find her, or die trying. I knew I would go crazy just waiting for them, waiting for Nessie to come home and be with me, where she belonged.

Bella and Edward called me on occasion throughout the years, letting me know Nessie's progress and how she was doing. Always, I tried to work out where they were from the background noise and what language people were talking. I'm sure I had gotten a few right, like Spain and Quebec, but they always moved on just before I got there. I gave up when Leah scathingly reminded me I had a pack to govern, but my anger and resentment stayed with me, like a hot knife plunged into my heart.

It wasn't fair to the rest of my pack to brood like this, penetrating them with my pain. I couldn't help it sometimes. I was only, well, I was only _human_. It wasn't fair that everyone around me got to fall in love and be happy, but the girl I had imprinted on was taken away. Even bratty Leah had gotten a guy to fall in love with her. Why did my luck with girls never work out? Seth was dating people on and off since he hadn't imprinted (lucky him) on anyone. Claire had grown up and had returned the romantic feelings to Quil, which had thrilled him to no end. It was embarrassing for the rest of us when he forgot we could hear his thoughts and went over the night before (which he had _spent_ with Claire). She had only allowed _that_ part of their relationship when she had a ring on her finger; since she was now 22, and had never dated anyone but Quil, it seemed appropriate enough. Their wedding would be in a few months. I was best man.

So I would have to attend another wedding and be happy and encourage them while slowly spiraling down into a pit of misery. Great. I had already gone to Sam's, Jared's and Paul's weddings. I had smiled and laughed and eaten. But at the reception I had sat by myself and frowned, totally dumping on everyone's parade by not being a good sport. Quil told me that he would happily kill me at his wedding if I wasn't the best best man anyone's ever had.

"_Oh yea, I wanted to ask you if you'd worked on your speech yet," _Quil said through our linked minds.

I shook my head quickly. _"Not yet, man. I'll get to it sometime this weekend."_

"_You better. And nothing to sappy or sad, either. Something funny, but real, you know?"_

"_Sure, sure."_

With that we kept on running, scouring the forest for any signs of trespassing (or any signs of the Cullens). When nothing turned up we all went back to my place, cramming ourselves into the garage. Embry and Leah were already there with pizza. Seth and Quil grabbed some steaming slices and seemed to swallow them whole. I sat on the edge of the hard rubber floor, leaning back against the plastic doorway. The cool breeze came in and swirled around the five of us.

"Hey, Jake, how was patrols?" Embry asked as his mouth opened in a yawn. His jaw cracked.

"Same as always. Sorry about putting you alone on the night shift last night," I apologized while glaring at Leah.

"Not my fault," she muttered.

"Right, so the boyfriend picking you up and taking you to a concert wasn't your fault," Embry cracked, punching her arm.

"It was a surprise!"

"That you knew about for two solid days straight," Seth corrected, looking at his slice of pizza.

Leah glowered.

"Anyway," I sidetracked easily, "I was thinking of cliff diving today. Anyone in?"

"Can't, I have to go over to Claire's" Quil said with a mushy look on his face.

"She can come, too, no big."

"Maybe. I'll ask." Quil promised.

My mood brightened and I turned to the others. "Anyone else?"

"Sure! I'm in," Seth grinned at me.

"Always," Embry added, "Still have to maintain my record of farthest jump."

I would have to do something about the smug smile on his face, I decided. I turned to Leah.

"Leah? Or do you have another date night planned?" I couldn't help the smirk that came with it.

"No, I'm in. The boyfriend can handle a few hours without me."

Seth sighed. I only nodded. Liam didn't know Leah was part of our pack. I'm sure he'd jump off a cliff of his own if he ever found out his girlfriend could morph into a wolf.

"Alright then. I'll see everyone in a few hours. You know the spot.

I stood and stretched, the rest following my lead. Both pizza boxes were empty, the grease spots stood out darker against the light cardboard. Crushed soda cans littered the ground. My garage was never in order anymore. Not that it was the cleanest place to begin with, but it had never been so messy. Food containers and drink bottles were everywhere. I scanned the rest of the garage. Chip bags, cookie and cracker boxes, sandwich wrappers, soda cans, water bottles, napkins and various other objects were collected in piles around my workspace. I rolled my eyes. We were going to have to find another place to meet, and _soon_.

Leah followed my gaze and stayed behind. She silently began collecting trash and stuffing it into a large black bag.

"Leah," I protested, "You really don't have to."

"Shut up and let me help, alpha."

There was no reasoning with her sometimes. It was weird, this shift in Leah. It was barely noticeable, but I had noticed it because of our close relationship. Alpha and beta wolves were more in sync than with the others in the pack. After she had met Liam she had begun to help in small ways, never overly affectionate, but happy. Sometimes she even hummed a little.

It took some getting used to, but these past few months had been kind of…pleasant. Which was weird for me, especially since the change in Leah was so unexpected. I actually sort of enjoyed her company now.

We quickly cleaned up the garage and stuffed the garbage bags into the bin.

"Thanks." I told her as we walked back to the trees.

"Sure, sure." She smiled a little, and rolled her eyes.

"We should probably find somewhere else…"

"You know Emily offered her house, just like before…"

We both trailed off. Emily's house was the perfect place, a place where we could be ourselves, and there was always food. But ever since I'd started my own pack, it was kind of uncomfortable going back there.

I shook my head. It was nice to visit, and hang out with the others, but not for our own space.

"Don't want to impose." I mumbled.

She was quiet for about two breaths. "What about my mom's house?"

"Your mom's house?"

"Sure. She's in on the whole wolf thing. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if we used it. She's mostly with Charlie now, anyway."

"Right."

"Anyway, think on it. I'll see you later."

And she was gone, running through the woods. Staring after her, I thought about what she had said. Sue Clearwater had obviously grown attached to Charlie, but it was hard to make out the relationship. They were for sure more than friends, but they weren't officially dating either. Maybe they had what Bella and I had? An intense relationship as best friends? Maybe. It was possible. Sue had been the buffer between real and mythical worlds for Charlie, and they were around the same age.

Leah's idea was sounding better and better. Sue would be gone most days, and they had a nice sized kitchen and living room. Plus, she was an Elder, and that had its perks. Seth was still living at home, but I was positive he would be thrilled instead of horrified at the idea of his house being used as headquarters.

I would broach the subject with the pack later, at the cliffs. Claire didn't mind cooking for Quil, but it might be different for a pack. Quil and I could talk about that later. Right now, it was time to crash and get at least a few hours of shut eye. I headed toward the house, my limbs getting heavier with every step. I passed through the small living room/kitchen and down the narrow hallway to my bedroom. It hadn't changed in all the time I've had it. I splayed out on the bed, my tall frame hitting the walls on both ends. I was so used to it already that I fell asleep almost before my head hit the pillow.

* * *

_~Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

We were all here, Quil and Claire, Leah, Seth and Embry. The wind whipped our hair and clothes, driving at us from over the ocean. The short nap had energized me and I felt up for anything. It's a good thing we were cliff diving. Anything less exciting would have made me grind my teeth.

Claire looked cold. She was bundled up in a jacket, long jeans and sneakers. Her long black hair whipped around her face. She impatiently tugged strands from her mouth, jumping up and down at the same time to get warm.

"It's not supposed to be this cold. It's summer!" Quil said, obviously distressed by Claire's discomfort.

The rest of us stood in shorts, not bothered at all by the chilly air and cold wind. Quil moved to stand in front of Claire and enveloped her in his arms. She pushed back. He looked at her, hurt and confused.

"It'll make it worse for when you're not here. I can handle it for a while," She explained. One of her fingers smoothed away his worry lines and she smiled.

Quil exhaled and smiled back, stepping away so he wasn't shielding her, but sideways so he could grab her hand. She interlaced their fingers and held her hair back with her other hand. I averted my eyes and stared down at the churning waves. I rubbed my hands together and grinned wickedly.

"First." I called casually, and backed up.

The others quickly got out of the way as I lined up my jump.

"Never gonna beat my record," Embry whispered to Seth.

"I don't know, Em, he's got that look on his face," Seth whispered back.

I narrowed my eyes and tensed my legs. Crouching against the wind I calculated how far I would have to launch off the last stone to beat Embry's record. Leah shifted with impatience. With a last calculation I launched myself across the ground and off the cliff's edge. The air rushed past me, letting me taste the ocean with all my senses. I curled my body into a ball and pushed against the air, turning a somersault. The ocean was coming up fast, but it felt like I have all the time in the world before I reached it. I closed my eyes and reveled in the weightlessness. The air currents whipped my hair this way and that, trying to sway me from my destination below me. I stretched out my arms and straightened my body to enter without a splash.

Water swirled around me as it adjusted to my body. It was cold, but it felt good against my overheated skin. I held my breath as long as I could. Finally my lungs started protesting. I kicked my legs, displacing the water so I could move forward. My head broke the surface. I took a long breath and looked up. Seth had launched himself off the ledge and was curling through the air toward me. I ducked back under the waves and swam away from the target zone. I pushed back up just as Seth entered, splashing just a little. He came up just a few seconds later and let out a whoop.

"YES! That was awesome!" He yelled.

I grinned at him and splashed some salt water his way. "Gotta work on that entrance, kid."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure."

Seth started to swim towards the rocky shore. I stayed where I was, treading water.

"You comin'?"

"I want to watch Em." I explained, my eyes locked on the cliff edge.

I heard Seth pause and then felt the water push against me as he started treading water too. Apparently I wasn't the only one to see if Embry could throw himself off the cliff the farthest again. Pretty soon we saw a face flash over the edge and in the next second Embry hurtled off the edge. I had to admit, the guy did put quite a distance between the rock and himself. I analyzed the way his feet pushed off the ledge and how he stretched and curled his body against the wind. When Embry came up for air Seth was applauding.

"Right on! You nailed it," He said enthusiastically.

"Don't let him get cocky, kid," I advised, "He might not have his title after my next one."

Embry narrowed his eyes. "Oh yea? Bring it on."

We started to swim toward shore. Naturally, it turned into a competition. Embry was just one length behind me, with Seth giving him a run for his money. Leah probably would have beaten me. She was just as fast in water as she was running through the trees. The thought of Leah made me turn. I sat down on the stones and turned my attention back toward the cliff. She would wait until she had an audience. Seth and Embry settled down beside.

At that exact moment Leah appeared at the cliff edge. She stood perfectly still, her toes gripping the edge. Her short hair covered her face. Her calves tensed, and then she leaned forward. Her leap was short and powerful, launching her just far enough out to miss the rocks below. She kept it straight and simple, a clean dive with hardly a sound entering the water.

Quil, following just after her, was opposite in the extreme. He whooped as he pushed himself away from the rocks, plummeting toward the waves. He barely gave Leah enough time to move before he curled in on himself and landed in a cannonball. Huge waves splashed everywhere. Leah got drenched again she surfaced. Even though I was sitting on shore I felt water splatter against my face. Quil was grinning as he came back up. I didn't wait for him to reach us. I pushed myself up and started jogging back to the shortcut that would take me back to the cliff top.

I heard Leah moving behind me, already out of the water and trying to catch up. I sped up just a touch, and I heard her give a short exhale. As I reached the dirt path Leah was matching my strides, looking at me from the corners of her eyes. She edged a little ahead and I matched her. Then we were really racing, taking narrow turns and kicking up the yellow dust behind us. Leah had always been the fastest runner of our group, in human and wolf form. Over the years of chasing Nessie, though, I'd gotten faster. I pushed myself forward, letting my sudden burst of anger drive me. I reached the cliff top with Leah in stride.

"Not bad," she said. We were breathing just a bit faster, but not by much.

I shrugged. Claire smiled as we came into view. She was leaning back against her little blue car, jacket fully zipped, arms crossed and hair pulled back.

"Did you see Quil's dive?" I asked her.

"Yeah. He could have pushed off farther though," She replied.

"Not as fun, for him," Leah said sarcastically, "He needs to live 'on the edge'."

"He _could_ try to keep himself alive for the wedding." Irritation crossed Claire's face as she thought about the upcoming day.

Quil entered the clearing just after, a huge grin across his face and a chuckling with glee. He caught her frown and faltered.

"Next time give yourself more distance," I advised.

He nodded and smiled apologetically at his fiancée. She smiled back and shook her finger at him.

Leah took her position and ran forward, springing over the edge into the wind. Seth and Embry arrived and Seth quickly followed his sister. We heard his yell when he resurfaced.

Embry looked at me with a hint of superiority. "You gonna jump or what?"

I glared and took a position as far as I could from the ledge. I bounced up and down a couple times and then burst forward with inhuman speed. At the last moment I pushed away from the rock with all my pent up power. With a satisfying crunch a tiny piece of rock fell away from the ledge after me. I twisted my body in a spiral and stuck my arms as close to my body as possible. The wind rushed by me faster than before, and I lost the ability to open my eyes. Curling and jackknifing open, I waited to breach the water's surface. When it came I bent my body upwards, my body skimming the underwater vegetation. It was the farthest I've pushed my body into a dive and it felt exhilarating. I couldn't wait to do it again.

It was dead quiet when I came back up. I shook the water off my face and searched for Leah and Seth. They were sitting on shore, staring at me. Then I heard Embry cussing from way up above. Seth broke out into hysterical laughter. Leah's mouth twitched.

"A full two feet!" Seth crowed.

I smiled. Swimming toward shore I heard Embry keep up an impressive string of profanities and car doors slamming. Reaching Seth and Leah I shook the water from my hair, spraying them with droplets of water. We continued across the stones, Seth still laughing and Leah bouncing beside me. The three of us gathered around a driftwood pyramid and waited for Claire to drive down with the other two. I sat back against a log while Seth leaned forward and set a lighter to some of the smaller twigs.

The cars wheels turned onto the sand lot behind us. I kept my eyes on the waves while Quil, Claire and Embry came forward to join us. Embry had fallen silent. I resisted the urge to turn around and look at his face. He sat down as far away from me as possible, shooting death glares in my direction.

"Well, you know, he is the Alpha," Quil said reassuringly. Embry grunted.

Seth started razzing Em as Claire quietly laid out the food. Leah helped her grab it from the trunk and then cook it. She consumed about half of what she prepared, but no one chided her. They just grabbed their share. I watched the green-blue flames and tried to squash thoughts of Nessie watching the flames lick up the driftwood for her first time.

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_~I wanted to give the wolves more of a solid presence. Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I watched the orange flames spread through the dried, dead branches. My hands were sticky from mango juice, and I wiped them absentmindedly on the legs of my pants. I leaned my head contently against my mother's shoulder. She leaned down and pressed her cold lips against my forehead.

"Do you want to sleep?" She asked me.

My father glanced up from his discussion with Jasper, concern quickly smoothing into a reassuring smile when he realized I wasn't over-tired. I sighed.

"No, Mom. I'm fine."

"Okay."

I continued to watch the flames, letting its warmth roll out and envelop me. My mother's skin slowly warmed. Not enough to be normal, but not as cold as her usual temperature either. We sat in comfortable quiet until I thought of something. I reached out my hand and put it on her knee, and her hand paused in its lulling stroking on my hair. I showed her my experiences these past three months in the Amazon jungle, and then focused particularly on my memories of Nahuel, especially the times he's looked at me with that certain smile, or held my hand longer than was necessary. I let her see my pleasure at his attention, but my uncertainty at it too. I let her understand that I enjoyed his company immensely, but I wasn't sure I loved him in the same way I thought he loved me.

Across the fire I saw my father stiffen as he read what I showed her through my thoughts. When I finished I let my hand stay on my Mom's knee, but stopped the flow between us. Her hand picked up the peacefully rhythm on my head again, and my father subtly eyed Nahuel. My Mom took a breath and caught my Dad's eye.

"Maybe it's time to start on our way home," she said.

All conversation stopped around the fire. Nine pairs of eyes turned toward her. A few were confused, but for the most part there was patience for her explanation.

"We've imposed enough on you, and I think Renesmee would like to adjust back into the regular flow of American life." She continued.

"Yes, and we should probably pick up the threads of our life as well," My Dad murmured in agreement.

Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme looked thoughtful. Alice frowned meaningfully in my direction, and then flicked her eyes toward Nahuel, a question in the way she tilted her head. I blushed and looked down. Dad had caught her thoughts and he shook his head at her. She gave a soft sigh and slumped her shoulders.

"My new daughter brings up a good point. We've imposed ourselves far too long on you, friends." Carlisle said.

"It does not seem so long, for our kind," Huilen said wryly.

"And it has been most enjoyable with the little one here," Zafrina added warmly.

I could feel her kind gaze on my face. I glanced up and returned her look with a small smile.

"Thank you," I replied.

"Do you want to go home?" Alice asked me.

Eleven pairs of eyes looked to me for my answer. I stared at the flames, weighing my options.

"It's been really amazing to be here with all of you," My eyes flitted to each person, "But I really think it is time to start home. I've been under the radar for far too long. I want to thank each of you for your hospitality, and for having the patience to stick me out for these few months."

They laughed. The sound was like the ring of bells in a church.

"Of course you're more than welcome to come and visit any time," Esme added. Carlisle nodded.

"When will you be leaving then?" Nahuel asked.

"Tomorrow, I think," Dad said.

I felt a strange sort of sadness jerk through me as I looked at Nahuel. Tomorrow I would be leaving him, and I didn't know when I would see him next. He looked at me too and smiled a regretful smile. Jasper watched us in silence, and then I could feel the sadness and anxiety ebbing away. I shot him a glance, my lips slightly pouting. One side of his mouth pulled up. Suddenly I was tired.

Trying to fight against the wave of sleep, I leaned my whole torso into the crook of my mom's arm. She glanced down and nudged me.

"Time for sleep, darling. Go be comfortable," She encouraged.

"I'm comfortable here," I mumbled, nestling more deeply into her arm.

"I'll take her," a voice said.

Suddenly I couldn't feel the hard log beneath me anymore. I felt warmth against the side of my face where cold had been a nanosecond before. My eyes flew open and I saw the strong line of Nahuel's chin. His bare chest glistened in the light of the fire. I struggled to get my feet on the ground but he firmly held onto me, one arm supporting my back and the other supporting my legs. There was no choice but to rest my head on his shoulder. I heard chuckling from behind us.

He carried me the ten or so feet from the fire to a hammock tied between two trees. He wedged me between the two sides and slowly let me go. I shifted my weight in the hammock to a more comfortable position. He held the edge for a moment, then slowly let it go, caught the edge again, and let it go. He was rocking me. I flashed him a smile, fighting the heaviness of my eyelids. He leaned in to kiss my cheek and then stepped away.

"Sleep, my precious. Let us say our goodbyes in the daytime."

I wanted to tell him to stay, but I was already lost in a blur of colors.

Light pierced my eyelids as morning came. Birds chirped, and I could hear the running of a river from far away. A cool breeze tickled my skin, teasing me before the humidity could set in for the day. I groaned and shifted a little, covering my face with my hands. Something tickled my foot. I moved it, irritated. All I wanted was a few more hours of sleep. The tickling sensation returned. I peeked through my fingers. Alice grinned at me, a wicked glint in her eyes.

"Good Morning!" She shouted.

"Uhhhg. Your exuberant disposition is highly off-putting." I said under my breath.

Of course she heard it. That's what I get for having a vampire family.

"Now, now, Ms. Grump, that's no way to greet your auntie in the morning," she trilled at me.

I closed my eyes firmly.

"Don't make me tip this hammock over," she threatened.

I sighed and sat up. She smiled happily and smoothed a piece of my hair away from my face.

"Don't look at me. I probably look horrible."

She considered. "You've looked worse."

With an agile hop she landed on the bracken of the forest floor. I reached into my backpack and pulled out my travel case. Looking in the mirror I groaned. My hair had frizzed, my eyeliner had smudged, and there were diamond shaped indents trailing down my left cheek.

"Better than a human would look. Well, full-human," Alice amended, "you look pretty in a wild sort of way."

I didn't answer. Giving up on my hair, I pulled it into a bun on the top of my head. Bobby pins secured any loose pieces too short to fit into the hair-tie. Pulling out biodegradable wipes, I scrubbed my face clean and brushed my teeth by chewing bark. I quickly pulled out my makeup case and applied eyeliner and a bit of tinted lip balm.

"I can't wait to get somewhere where we can actually start wearing makeup again," my aunt said wistfully.

Grinning, and feeling more like myself, I jumped down from the hammock to join her. I kissed her on the cheek and pointed to my face.

"What do you call this then?"

"You know what I mean."

We walked away from my sleeping arrangement (there was only one hammock, as the rest didn't sleep and Nahuel preferred the branches deep in the jungle shadows) and made our way over to the others, who were huddled together not far away.

"Oh well, at least we're leaving soon. Back to civilization, and all that." She brightened.

I felt a stab of pain in my heart when I heard her words. We would be leaving soon. In a matter of hours, I would be making my way back…home. Wherever home was. We had traveled so much over the past twenty three years that I could barely remember Forks anymore. Not that I hadn't seen much of the town at all. The huddle was probably to discuss travel plans. I sighed. Alice looked at me slyly.

"Missing someone?" she asked archly.

I turned to stare at her. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Your sigh, well, I just thought it was because you would prefer to stay…" Her words drifted as her eyes sought out Nahuel.

I followed her look and saw his agile form crouched there with the others. Although I loved him, I still didn't know if I would want to stay with him instead of my family. We hadn't told each other of our feelings, and he didn't press the issue by trying to kiss me. There was only the hand holding, and even that was more like friendship than anything more, for the most part.

"Your future is hidden, you know." Alice told me suddenly.

My body jerked and I looked at her. My eyebrows angled toward my hairline.

"But that doesn't mean anything, of course."

"Right. That helps _so _much Alice, thanks." My sarcastic tone was scathing.

Her answering smirk was self-satisfied. "It only means you won't be marrying anyone who's pure human or pure vampire, that's all."

Meaning, I had two choices: vampire-human hybrid, or a wolf. My body froze in place. It was a reaction I had learned from both of my parents. Whenever they encountered tension or stress they froze, still as statues, until they decided their course of action. My reaction now was identical. Deciding I would deal with it when _someone_ actually made a move, I straightened and continued forward.

"Whatever. I have the rest of eternity, fortune teller."

Alice laughed and skipped along beside me. We crouched down and joined the rest of the group.

"The humans will be less alarmed if you enter their village at twilight. That is usually the time explorers return, if you are to go with that tale," Zafrina was explaining to Carlisle.

"Of course, of course." He murmured, "But what of our numbers? Will they not be alarmed we have no guide for this large a group?"

"Huilen will go with you, and Nahuel as well. They will pose as your guides. They have many miles to travel to return home, and we must retreat back to our land in order to maintain our presence in the forest."

Huilen bowed her head slightly, as if in acknowledgment. "The natives of the village we will enter are wary, but they will believe us as long as we don't stay too long."

Carlisle nodded and stood. "We will meet you here when the sky begins to darken, then." Esme clasped his hand and they disappeared between the trees.

As they passed me I felt Carlisle squeeze my shoulder and Esme plant a kiss on my head, feather light.

"We should be sure to hunt before we depart," Jasper commented. His eyes flashed to Alice's face.

"Let's," She replied, "Bella? Do you want to join us?"

My Mom smiled and nodded. "Oh you know me, Alice, always up for beating Edward."

"There is no 'beating Edward'. That last time was merely a play at sabotage," My Dad put in.

Everyone was on their feet now, anticipating the hunt.

"Sabotage?" Mom's look of surprised was aimed at him.

"What would you call Alice's attempt at piggybacking then?"

"She called out that all of us should pair up…"

"So she just _naturally_ sped up to me and lunged at _my _back, when Jasper's was so much closer…"

"If you can't handle a little competition…"

"It wasn't a competition! It was a manipulative…"

"You really shouldn't look so astonished Edward, really…"

"You've been hanging around Rose too long, Bella, you're deflecting the issue…"

"Well I _am _the human shield, if you've heard…"

Alice was rolling her eyes and Jasper was grinning. I sidled up to them.

"Piggybacking?"

Alice shrugged.

"They've started a little competition. Well, all of us, really, but Bella and Edward have a personal one," Jasper explained in an undertone.

"Which is…?" I prompted.

"Who can catch the first jungle cat during a hunt."

"Oh."

"Yesterday's was a bit hectic. Edward's in the lead by three points, so Alice chose to divert his attention so Bella could get there first."

"Mmmm."

"With Bella's prompting, of course," He finished.

"I only saw her contemplating it," Alice amended, "I thought it was a good idea."

My gaze drifted back to my parents, who were scowling at each other.

"Can't we just call it a truce? We're leaving, after all," I stepped over to them.

"Of course, honey," My Mom said at once.

"You can't just drop a competition!" Jasper's shocked voice came from behind me.

"What a very Emmett thing to say," My Dad said dryly, glancing over his shoulder.

Jasper shook his head and muttered something unintelligible.

"Okay," I reasoned, "What if…what if whoever catches the first jungle cat today wins the whole thing? Gold stars and everything?"

They considered. Then, slowly, I felt the energy changing.

"Sounds good."

"I'm in."

"That seems reasonable."

All of their replies made me smile, and then we all headed into the jungle to start our hunt. I stuck close by my parents, racing slightly behind them. The ferns and trees whipped against me, but it was almost unnoticeable. Nahuel was to my right, and Alice and Jasper were to my left. Alice laughed and held hands with Jasper as they ducked and weaved through the undergrowth. The Amazonians were out of sight, but I could smell them somewhere near.

We gave a wide berth around the one small village of natives in this area of the forest and continued running. The light became dimmer and dimmer, the smell of rotting vegetation more intense, and the humidity turned almost unbearable. The others probably didn't notice it, but I could feel the pressure of it against my skin just enough to irritate me. It was hot and sticky, too, which did not help my hair situation. I slowed down in disgust, trailing behind the others. Nahuel stopped and doubled back toward me, holding out a handkerchief as he got nearer. I shook my head.

"We don't sweat, remember?"

"I know."

My hands on my hips, I stared at him. He faltered under my gaze and stopped.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"It's wet," I said unhappily.

Nahuel gave me an incredulous look.

"The humidity," I elaborated, retying my hair in a bun.

"Your observation skills are impeccable. It is, indeed, wet_._" He stated gravely, his amber eyes serious.

I swatted him. "_Nahuel _stop teasing."

He shook his head instead, grave look intact, and turned his eyes up toward the treetops.

"How _dare_ the moisture in the air be _wet."_

A giggle escaped through my lips.

"This is no laughing matter."

"Of course not." I tried to keep a straight face but lost it when I looked at his martyred expression.

He grinned. "I apologize for the humidity of my homeland."

"I was just being a girl."

We smiled at each other.

"My hair will survive, I guess," I said.

"It will," He agreed.

Then I took the handkerchief, wrapped it around his arm, and we took off again. The gloom of the forest continued, but we glided forward until we caught up with the others again. The scent of animals heightened my awareness, and pretty soon I forgot that the humidity clung to my skin. Nahuel motioned with his hand, and I saw that both my parents were crouched, hidden, eyeing each other and the unfortunate jungle cat that was caught in the vegetation between them.

* * *

_~Please review. I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The jostling of the plane woke me up. I opened my eyes groggily and glared at the 'fasten seatbelt' sign (which was lit up) on the panel above me. In the seat beside me Esme flipped through a magazine. My Mother leaned against my Father in the row in front of me. The others were in the seats surrounding, hidden from view by my current position.

"Awake, dear?" Esme asked.

"Yes," I sighed.

Esme put down her magazine and shifted to face me. The airplane shook with another patch of encountered turbulence, and an overhead compartment popped open. A flight attendant with hair the color of ketchup clung to seats as she hurried forward to shut it again.

"I just don't know why they insisted on flying with the storm warning in place," She half complained and half apologized to the passengers as she returned to her seat.

I rolled over to my right side, feet tucked under and to the side, so I could face Esme. Ever since I was little I had called her by her first name. Unfortunately, the whole "Grandma" situation only hindered our story, so I had been told to call Esme and Carlisle by their proper names. (I was now considered a cousin of Mom's when in public. It's really unnatural when I have to call them Edward and Bella to their faces. Usually I just say "Pops" and "Mum", respectively, because the humans think I'm joking around and it's more comfortable for me.)

"Esme," I began, looking into her wide golden eyes, "where are we going?"

"You mean, are we going to Forks?" She said, smiling.

I nodded, looking at her and not at my parents (who were no doubt listening).

"That…" she hesitated, "That is the current plan."

I nodded, turning my attention to her magazine.

"Since when do you read _Teen Vogue_?"

"It's Alice's." She admitted.

I laughed and leaned over the armrest of the cushy leather first class seat and read with her. She put an arm comfortably around my shoulders as I rested some of my weight on the armrests (I didn't want to break the plane, after all) and we fell quiet. My parents were murmuring in hushed voices, I frustratingly couldn't make out the words, but neither shifted position. The airplane shook aggressively; a few passengers exclaimed.

A while later, when my parents had stopped murmuring and Esme and I had read the magazine twice over, the irritating jerking of the plane stopped. We all sat in shocked silence for a few seconds, amazed at the sudden smoothness of motion. Just as suddenly, the intercom crackled over the speakers.

"Hello folks, sorry for that extended bit of turbulence there," Our Captain started.

"It was almost two hours!" Someone said.

"but we appear to have passed the storm. It should be smooth flying from here on out. We should reach our destination in about five hours." The intercom crackled off and the 'fasten seatbelt' sign blinked out.

Alice was at Esme's side in no time at all.

"Switch with me?" She suggested brightly. Esme nodded and stood up in one fluid motion. She knew from experience that it was no use arguing with her middle daughter.

Alice plunked down in the vacant seat sideways, so she was facing me completely.

"So are you excited?" She asked.

I stared at her, confused.

"About seeing your birthplace! Did you know the Beatles passed through Forks during their West Coast Tour? I miss the Beatles, and the fashion. The fashion was nice."

I blinked. "Did you watch all those 60's documentaries in the in-flight library?"

"Yes," she slumped forward with a defeated sigh, "I've already seen all of the movies they're offering and the games agitate me. Carlisle was absorbed in some Doctor's Digest book, and Jasper's having fun intimidating the poor human who got stuck in the seat beside him."

Raising myself to kneel in the seat, I looked back three rows all the way on the other side of the plane. Uncle Jasper did indeed have a grin on his face, and he peeked at his companion under the guise of watching a movie. The poor man beside him looked terrible. He was sweating, and always shooting nervous glances at his companion. A slightly pudgy, balding man in a suit with a huge briefcase tucked under his legs, a sickbag in-between his hip and the armrest; he did not look up to having a vampire for a flight companion.

"Why doesn't Jasper help the poor man out?" I asked, slightly worried for the man. Not because of Jasper, but because he was sure to have heart failure.

Alice shrugged. "Jasper likes to intimidate people sometimes. I'm sure he'll 'help the man out' in a half hour or so."

"What did he _do_?"

"He happily pointed out all the things that could go wrong while we were experiencing turbulence."

"I see. Hey – did you have any more magazines? Esme said she borrowed the one she had…"

"Moment." Alice rose and walked back to her original seat at a human pace, grabbed her tote bag, and returned.

She pushed up the armrests dividing our seats and plopped her oversized designer bag in the middle (we had exchanged our traveling gear when we got back to major human civilization). Pulling the zipper open, she showed me the contents, organized and divided by shiny satin compartments.

"Impressive. You must have bought the whole newsstand."

"I knew I'd get bored. I wanted to try out makeup looks with you!" She said enthusiastically. Her usual pep was back.

"Oh, Alice."

"Don't you 'Oh, Alice' me, missy. I have been waiting patiently for three hours to ask Esme to switch with me, because I know I've been monopolizing you this last leg of the trip, and Esme really should have a chance with some quality time with you, and you with her, and I watched _seven_ 60s documentaries and read _three_ boring in-flight magazine articles and looked through the _entire_ magazine with the weird and glitzy gadgets and products _twice_ and almost ordered everyone a welcome home present and we haven't had _any _sleepovers since we were in Greece, and that was _four months ago,_ in January, and we haven't been wearing proper makeup for three and a _half_ months and Bella refuses to have makeovers and Esme looks perfect and the boys wouldn't appreciate it, and you're the _perfect _model, and you're good at makeup and…"

I cut off her run-on sentence by pinching her lips together.

"I was _going_ to say 'that sounds perfect since I probably look like crap and I'm bored too' but I was interrupted." I looked at her meaningfully.

Alice's face lit up like it was Christmas. She clapped her hands together excitedly and reached forward to pull out our seats' tables. I dragged my own slightly larger-than-normal designer carry-on purse from the floor up to my seat and dug around in search of my iPod. I plugged in the wireless transmitter box (resetting it beforehand so Alice's headphones could receive the signal too) and placed my headphones over my ears; Alice did the same with hers. She then proceeded to pull out what seemed to be an entire makeup counter's pile of products and place them either on her table or mine. A passing flight attendant glanced down and paused, amazed at the ever-growing pile, and then ogled appreciatively. She continued on down the row, occasionally glancing back over at us. I smiled. Alice didn't notice.

"There." She said happily, finally dropping her bag onto the floor.

Mirrors, several palettes full of eye shadows, eye shadow sticks, blushes, lipsticks, lip tints, primers, mascaras, pencil eyeliners, cream foundations, finishing powders, eyebrow pencils, lip liners, brushes, and makeup removers covered the tables, as well as some of our seats as well. There was every possible color (but only in the shades Alice deemed 'airplane/travel' approved) in every product. The liquids and creams were within the 3oz. airplane rule, but there was still quite an impressive array.

"Bella carried one of the bags with half the liquid products, but of course I couldn't bring any liquid foundation or liners or any of that, so we'll have to do without those, but I think we'll be okay for most of the looks," She said, flipping through the first magazine already.

"Mmm. I think we'll be okay for about the whole rest of the flight." I told her.

She batted her lashes at me and then pointed to a picture. "This look will be perfect for you." She said.

I merely glanced at the picture and promptly closed my eyes. Alice set to work eagerly. She let out a contented noise and sponged primer onto my lids.

Three hours later, while Alice was executing her second makeup look on my face, a throat cleared. Alice continued adjusting my makeup (I didn't dare open my eyes or talk) while ignoring the throat-clearer.

"Alice, she looks perfect," My Mom's voice floated toward me.

"That's only because you can't see that the shadow on this eye is swept out just a bit more than on the other side, Bella."

"Two seconds, Alice."

"Two minutes."

"Seconds."

"Mo – Bella, I don't want uneven eyeshadow!" I protested.

"It's fine. You can't notice, Ren," She insisted.

"Yes, you really can," Alice said, sweeping the brush on the other lid.

"And she has to finish my lips," I added.

"Fine, fine. Switch with Edward once you're done here." Her voice sounded slightly tense.

"Open," demanded Alice.

I opened my eyes to see Alice's smirk. Bella has gone to the restroom (just to maintain the human façade of course) and Edward was listening to his iPod with his eyes closed.

"Look up," Alice demanded again.

The dim airplane lights bothered my eyes, so I focused instead on the grey plastic of the panels. Alice swept a tiny brush along my lower lash line.

"One last thing…" she said.

I looked at her and she leaned in with a pink lipstick. With a final swipe she leaned back, satisfied. I picked up a mirror from my table and regarded my reflection. Alice was the best at makeup in our household, with Rosalie and I tied for second, and my Mom not having any special talent or interest in it whatsoever. Esme did what worked for her, but she often asked one of the three of us to help her with a more elaborate look for a special event. Even with this knowledge I was shocked with the appearance in the mirror. My green eyes were framed by espresso brown and black eye shadow in an incredible smoky look. Black lashes curled away, emphasizing the look and drawing attention to the color of my eyes. The rest of my face was dusted with a translucent powder that made me look paler than usual, and the pink of my lips popped against the white of my skin. A hint of blush touched my cheeks and faded away into my hairline.

Edward turned in his chair, probably reacting more to my complete shock than the sudden silence. When he saw me he hissed.

"Alice," he said dangerously.

"Alice," I said, "I knew you were bored, but this is…"

"Unacceptable," Edward cut in.

"Well, I was going to say 'a bit much for traveling'." I put the mirror down and frowned at her.

Bella reappeared at that moment. "She looks breathtaking."

"That's the issue," Edward said curtly, glaring at Alice.

"Why are they mad at you?" I turned in confusion to look at Alice.

She ignored me, focusing on both of my parents, but mostly Edward.

"Ren looks _drop-dead gorgeous _because I want that mongrel to see what he's missed."

"That. Is. What. We. Don't. Want." Edward hissed through clenched teeth.

Bella sat down and peered through the space between the seats.

"Because he can't have her." Alice explained, her eyes wide and her grin satisfied.

"Wait. What exactly is going on?" Mom interjected. She looked between Alice and Edward, trying to understand their unspoken conversation.

"He can't have her, and I want him to see Ren in all her glory just to drive that point home."

"Because…" Bella trailed of.

"Because of Nahuel," Edward supplied. He looked thoughtful.

"I'm right here, you know," I reminded them. Alice patted my hand.

"That's unfair to him. I don't like hurting him like that, especially since we just _left._"

"Do you really want him staking his claim, Bella?" Edward countered.

"Jacob," I said suddenly, looking at all of them, "We're talking about Jacob."

"Naturally," said Alice.

"We're going to Forks now?"

"Our connection takes us nearby, then we drive down," Mom answered.

"Rose and Em are meeting us for this connection," Alice added.

"Right." I stood up quickly. "I need to use the restroom."

Once safely locked in the cubicle, I emptied my bladder and washed my hands. Then I placed my cool, dry hands against my neck and breathed in and out.

I felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing in the way of feelings.

I was different from the baby I had been when last I'd seen him. I was twenty four years old now, and he was…practically middle aged. He was, what, thirty nine or forty now? Our dynamic had obviously changed. We hadn't had any direct contact since I was one. It was like meeting him for the first time all over again. I had Nahuel now.

I had Nahuel now.

That fact lodged itself firmly in my mind. I smiled. Now that I was away from him I realized how much I had liked his companionship. More than that, I missed his smile, his smell. This was the first time I realized that I had actually loved everything about him. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and grinned. Forks actually didn't matter much, in the long run. It was my hometown, but I didn't have any obligations there. It was a new start, a place that I could put my mark on.

The 'fasten seatbelt' light flicked on again. I exited the restroom and went back to my seat, humming quietly.

* * *

_~Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It was twilight. I was sure of that. The stars were just beginning to show, and the sky was this weird green color. My pack stood around me in a circle, facing out, growling at the dark. Frustrated with my weaker human night vision I tried to phase but couldn't. Fear gnawed at me but I pushed it away. I was the alpha; I should be the first to confront whatever was upsetting them. Suddenly Claire appeared just outside the circle of vicious wolves. She looked upset, and Quil stepped out of formation to comfort her. At that exact moment something white and shimmering ran toward us and slipped into the circle where Quil had made a gap. Leah and Embry lunged, but they were repelled by this weird black wall that appeared in between them and the white blur. The blur was in front of me now, a few steps away, and I could see it was a woman. She was gorgeous, with pale skin that reflected a little bit of the light from the moon, and a silver dress that clung to her body. Her bronze hair was pulled away from her face, but it blew behind her in waves. Only after all of this I realized something was off. Way off. I should have noticed it from the first second she came close. Her smell was sickeningly sweet and it burned my throat. Her eyes were red. I heard a growl and realized I was suddenly a wolf, towering over this beautiful bloodsucker. But I couldn't attack her; she was familiar from somewhere. She looked at me in amusement, an evil grin on her face.

"Don't you remember me, Jacob?" She purred.

I growled and tried to snap at her.

"I've grown since you last saw me." She paused, waiting for recognition.

I shook my head in confusion, feeling this strange sort of dread spreading through me.

"I'm Renesmee," the vampire in front of me said.

_I'm Renesmee. Renesmee. Nessie. _My _Nessie._

The thoughts swirled in my head. I lunged forward without a thought, even as I wanted to howl with pain. My sharp teeth connected with cold skin, diamond hard.

I realized I was drenched in sweat as I opened my eyes. My breath was coming hard and fast, and my blood pounded in my veins and loud in my ears. I closed my eyes again and pushed my fists against the soft skin of my lids. But Nessie was there, the Nessie from my nightmare. My eyes popped open again. Sitting up, something stuck to my skin. It was a strip of my pillow. Looking around, I could see that the pillow was demolished, strips of it here and there across my bed and on my floor.

"Crap."

I checked my furniture and sheets, but luckily my pillow had been the only casualty.

A tap came on my door. "Breakfast is on the table," My Dad said through the closed door.

After I had cleaned up a little I made my way over to the small round table that was awkwardly placed halfway in the kitchen and halfway in the weird transition over to the living room. I grabbed a plate and put eggs, rice, cheese and toast in a heap right in the middle. Dad had already rolled up and was eating calmly, one forkful after another.

"Drink?" I asked from behind him.

"Sure. Orange juice, Jake," he answered, not bothering to turn around.

I put my plate on the counter and poured us each a glass. Then I balanced all three things over to the table and set them down in their places. Throwing myself into the seat, I attacked the eggs. My dad raised his eyebrows but continued on with his own stoic pace.

My dad had always wiser than most men, but I couldn't really say he had looked old. Twenty three years had passed him by, and he looked like he had aged twice as fast in that time. His hair was completely white now. His skin sagged on his face and it stretched tight over his knuckles. His lines flowed into one another and his ears were larger than life. Even though I noticed he look frailer than he had before, he still looked like my dad. He just looked his age, now.

"You okay Jake?" he asked, his eyes on my face again.

"Fine." I sped up my eating.

"Really? Because you look horrible."

"I couldn't sleep."

My dad harrumphed. He could harrumph like it was nobody's business. I sighed and looked up at him.

"You know, most sons feel like they can finally open up to their fathers around the time they turn forty."

"Do I _look_ forty to you old man?"

"Right now you do."

I rolled my eyes.

"Still act like a stupid teenager, though."

"So do you!"

He grinned at me. I grinned back and picked up my fork from where I had dropped it.

"But really, you okay kid?" He asked again.

Wow. I must really look that bad.

"Sure, sure."

My plate was empty now, so I took it over to the sink. Glancing out of the tiny window that faced out over the porch to the road, I saw a car parked.

"Someone here?" I asked, turning.

"Oh, yea, your friends stopped by a few minutes ago. I told them to wait for you in the garage."

"Thanks for breakfast."

"Right," He grumbled.

The screen door slammed behind me as I jogged down the steps and over to the path that would take me to the garage. Pieces of the nightmare came back to me and I tried to get over it before I saw the pack. I just couldn't get over the red eyes. Technically, the Cullens would never feed off humans, but you never knew what could happen in twenty-odd years. My skin crawled as I picture Bella and Nessie closing in on some innocent human's neck.

"They would never do it," I reassured myself.

My tiny garage came into view, but the doors were closed. I glanced around and saw Seth leaning against a sapling nearby. I walked towards him.

"What's up Seth? Where are the others? Leah wouldn't let you drive her car alone, would she?" I joked.

Seth looked at me, something unreadable in his eyes.

"The others wanted me to prepare you first."

"What?"

"They…have something to show you. But they didn't know how you would react, so I have to warn you first. Don't get overexcited or anything, and you have to promise to stay instead of bolting into the woods. Alright?" His face was earnest now.

I considered. This must be big for them to have elected Seth to 'prepare me'. He _was _the youngest, after all. Finally, I nodded.

"Okay."

"Great," Seth smiled, "Let's phase, then."

We stripped off our shorts and tied them to our ankles with the leather cord. I concentrated on letting my wolf form come over me, releasing the heat to cover every inch of my skin. It was simple now, really. I could control how slowly or fast I phased, which was a skill that impressed my pack.

Once in wolf form, I could only hear the rustling of leaves. The only image I could pick up on was my own and Seth's, which was a view of the forest in front of us.

_What's going on? Where are the others?_

_They're in human form right now, but they're waiting for us._

_Do you know what they want to talk about?_

_NO. They kept it from me, too. _Seth sounded frustrated.

_Well, let's go._

Seth led the way into the trees to our usual meeting spot deep in the forest. Leah, Quil and Embry stood in a little group, talking quietly. When they saw us they broke off. Leah nodded. The three of them faced us, a little unsure, but on edge. I could taste the adrenaline from their bodies.

"Remember, think about trees," Leah warned the other two before stripping and phasing.

They did think about trees, once they phased. Quil let slip of something blue, but it was replaced by a spruce tree before I could understand what it was. Apparently it had been decided that Embry was going to start off the story, with Leah and Quil filling in, because he was the first that slowly started to show his thoughts. I could feel the uneasiness and apprehension under the current of their images.

They showed themselves running patrols last night, running in loops and spokes until they covered our usual area. On the way back, they decided to run together, since nothing had seemed out of the ordinary. That was when they had come across a scent. It was fresh, no more than five minutes old, so they followed it. The trail led them to the clearing with the Cullens' house inside it. A car was out front. The lights were on.

_Carlisle came out and said hello. That's it._

They waited for a reaction.

Seth barked his weird laugh, bizarrely joyful. My mind still couldn't process the news.

_They're, back?_ I asked dumbly.

_We only saw Carlisle and Esme._ Leah answered.

_Boy did they _stink. Quil broke in. The others quickly joined the conversation.

_I almost forgot what vampires smell like._

_Don't be stupid. You can't forget what they smell like._

_It's totally gross, man._

_Agreed._

_WAIT. _I commanded. All four of them fell silent, bowing their heads under the weight of an alpha order. _Sorry_ I said quickly. I hadn't meant to be so forceful about it.

_The Cullens are back?_

_Seems like it._

_That means…_

_Nessie _We all thought at once.

I tore off through the trees. The others fell in behind me, weaving through the trees at breakneck speed. I didn't care if they were there or not, all I could take right now was the tentative happiness that pushed me forward. If I ran fast enough I could be there when she got home. The trees were thinning out and more light was filtering through after what felt like eternity. I slowed and trotted to the edge of the clearing.

* * *

_~Keep reading! Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Golden sunlight lit everything up. It glinted off the three cars parked on the lawn; a group of people, the Cullen family, milled around the third car. It was weird seeing them again, but also comforting, like they belonged here and it had been off without them. _That_ was a disturbing thought. I glanced through each of their faces, or profiles, or backs – whatever I could get of them. Esme and Carlisle were there, standing off to the side of the group and facing me. Alice was there, with her short black hair curled like those old movie stars used to wear their hair in the 20's. Jasper, his short blonde hair standing out next to Alice's, in profile, relaxed but ready to spring. Emmett, huge as ever, was laughing as he flung bags from the cars. The blonde female bloodsucker (I deliberately didn't use her name as long as she didn't use mine) stuck close to the last three in the group and had her back angled towards the woods. I growled a little at Edward's presence (he could probably read my mind from here anyway, yup, he just turned his head) and glanced at Bella's back. They were standing on either side of a woman I had never seen before with their clan. Her bronze hair was in a ponytail, curls stretching down to her shoulder blades. She had a dark grey sweater on and jeans. I frowned, wondering if she was a friend or something. Phasing so I could go out and talk with them, I pulled on my shorts and headed out. Just then the wind shifted, blowing from behind me instead of against me. The one I couldn't place before turned, her nose wrinkled.

She was beautiful. But that was the second thought that entered my mind. The first was her name, because as soon as she turned and met my gaze I knew who she was. _Nessie_ - her name echoed around my mind. Now I jogged instead of walked, and heard someone following me. Probably Leah. I didn't care.

"Nessie!" I called out happily, not even slowing as I reached her and swung her up in a bear hug.

"Um," she said awkwardly, "Hi, Jacob."

I put her down and smiled. "I've missed you."

"We can see that, _dog_," Blondie said.

"Complimentary as ever, Blondie," I replied without taking my eyes off Nessie.

Edward, Jasper and Emmett moved to fill the space in between me and Nessie. There was nothing overtly threatening about their poses, but irritation ruined the happiness in me.

"Move. I want to talk to her."

Leah, Quil, Embry and Seth flanked me. You could probably cut the tension with a knife.

"Edward," Carlisle said at the same time Alice said "Jasper."

Calm energy flooded everyone in the field. I looked at the blonde male, remembering his 'talent'.

"I wasn't going to attack. I just want to talk to her...and Bella." I amended.

"We know. Jasper was just doesn't like encountering unnecessary stress," Edward said neutrally.

"_Dad_," Nessie whined from behind him. She frowned at him and he snorted.

Bella started giggling. I still wasn't used to her new voice, and I didn't know if I could ever get over the fact that she didn't act, talk or react like her human self.

Edward stepped back beside Bella, and Jasper and Emmett melted back. My pack relaxed, giving me a little more space. Nessie smiled tentatively at me, one eyebrow raised in amusement. I smiled back, cataloging everything about her. But before I could do a thorough scan Bella cleared her throat.

"What, no 'Hi Bella' for me?" Bella asked, rolling her eyes.

"Hey Bells," I grinned at her.

"Hi, Jake."

"What about the rest of us?" Alice trilled.

"I was getting to it, shorty." My eyes flicked up to where she was. Her eyes narrowed at the nickname.

"Carlisle, Esme." I nodded to the clan leader and his wife.

Carlisle nodded.

Esme looked a bit shy as she replied. "Hello, Jacob. Hello, Leah."

"Hi." Leah said easily. Esme smiled delightedly.

Emmett looked at one of the pack behind me. "You, the bulky one! You owe me a rematch!"

I half turned and saw that everyone was staring at Quil.

"My name's Quil. And I can't…I'm getting married."

"So?"

"I promised my fiancé I wouldn't try to get myself killed." Quil said glumly.

Embry looked amused. "I'm game," he offered.

"Right. Now?" Emmett said hopefully.

"I think _not_." Esme said firmly. Emmett grinned deviously at her.

Nessie looked back and forth, watching my pack's interactions with her family. Seth bounded forward to greet Edward properly, and Leah stood off to one side uncomfortably. Emmett, Quil, and Embry started chatting. The rest stayed where they were, but not out of hostility. We had been apart for a long time, and both families were wary interacting again. While she was preoccupied with everyone else, I looked at her again and was caught off-guard by her beauty. Her face was clear and pale, except for her cheeks and lips, which were pink. Her eyes were what drew my attention, though. They were so…green. I blinked.

"Your eyes are green."

Her ponytail of bronze ringlets settled over her shoulder as she turned her face back to me.

"Yes."

"They weren't green when you left."

"Right. Well, um, they changed when the hormones kicked in."

"Oh." I was suddenly aware of how different she was. And that she stood a bit away from me, arms folded across her chest, chin tilted up a little. Remote, slightly distancing; like she didn't know me.

"They're green like Edward's eyes were," Bella told me. I hadn't even noticed she'd joined us.

"His eyes were green?" I was surprised, I'd never thought of him as human before.

"Mhmm."

"I have Mom's bone structure," Nessie added, "and the pale skin, of course."

We all laughed.

"_Ren_," Alice said impatiently from the porch, "don't you want to see the house? It is, if you've forgotten, the place where you were _born_."

Nessie turned toward the petite vampire (she was pretty petite herself, too me) and tilted her head.

"Patience is a virtue," she quipped.

"One Alice doesn't have," Emmett joked.

Nessie smiled at him over her shoulder.

She grabbed Bella's hand and started toward the steps, Edward a little behind. Jasper and Emmett bounced on their toes and followed, Blondie with them. Esme and Carlisle drifted behind, looking amused. Alice danced up the steps to the porch, ahead of the rest.

"Come on! I've set everything up and I have my camera ready!" she called as Nessie slowly approached the steps.

I looked to my pack, who all looked at me, and we all trudged up the stairs after the bloodsuckers. Once inside, we all stood by the wall by the doorway. I never took my eyes off Nessie, watching how she moved, acted and talked now. She had grown away from me, and it unnerved me that I didn't know a single thing about her.

Nessie raced around the room, touching things, exclaiming over others. The others followed her, laughing, talking, explaining. Some things Nessie remembered and other things she vaguely did. Each time she thought of something she touched Bella, her face lit up with excitement. I smiled with her, happy at her happiness. She explored the whole bottom floor, and then eagerly raced up the stairs. Edward raced ahead of her, Bella close behind. The rest of the clan followed them, and so did we. After exploring each bedroom and the final floor, Nessie flung herself contentedly on the couch in the living room. Bella sat next to her head; Edward on Bella's other side. Alice sat by Nessie's feet (Ness had lain down), so I sat down on the floor.

My pack went outside to run patrols in the woods, except for Seth, who plopped down in a chair beside Edward. The rest of the Cullens melted away (probably to prepare the house some more), so our little group was alone.

"It's so amazing, being back!" Nessie said breathlessly, her eyes roving across the bleached wooden beams in the ceiling.

"You belong here," I told her.

She turned her face to me. "You must be uncomfortable on the floor. Feel free to sit in a chair." She waved her slender hand to the three on the opposite side of the glass coffee table.

"I'm fine." I didn't elaborate at the irony of me spending our last day together on this very same floor.

She frowned, though, like she had read my thought. Or maybe I was being paranoid. She wasn't _that_ different – she was still my Nessie.

"So," Edward broke in, "would you like to see _our_ house?"

* * *

_~Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The late morning sun glinted off the windows of the white house in front of me. It looked old, which I absolutely loved, with a deep porch and a wraparound roof deck. The grass was longer than it should have been in the meadow we stood in, but that was temporary, and I thought it added to the charm. It was like finding a place where fairies dwelled. I had never expected my homecoming to be this fitting. Now I could pretend like I had lived centuries before, like I felt I should have, because I loved everything about history (I envied all of my family for experiencing a life in different period of time). The house and the meadow combination was definitely working for me.

I held both of my parents' hands excitedly, facing the house. My eyes had landed on a half-rock half-rubble situation at the far side of the house, and had belatedly recalled my Mom's joyful exuberance of smashing it, when I suddenly caught a whiff of _something_ on the wind. I wrinkled my nose at the strong stench, not deciding if I liked it or was repulsed by it. My Dad had already turned his head toward the forest line, so I followed his gaze.

A man of obviously Native American descent was approaching us. He wore no shirt (my eyes roved over his muscular form appreciatively), and no shoes, but there was a leather anklet-thing around his calf, and his shorts were rather frayed. He looked about my age, but seemed older. I asked my Mom a question through our linked hands and she nodded slightly. This was Jacob, then. Jacob's face had been hard when I had first locked eyes with him, but now he was grinning and jogging toward us. I broke free of my parents and took one step forward, watching curiously. He wasn't like the boy I remembered from my babyhood. He got closer, but didn't stop. Suddenly he crushed me in a bear hug and swung me around.

"Um, Hi, Jacob." I said awkwardly. He set me down and grinned, elated.

"I've missed you."

"We can see that, _dog_," Aunt Rose said, disgust evident in her tone.

"Complimentary as ever, Blondie," Jacob said cheerfully. He never took his eyes off of me.

My Father had moved closer and now shifted subtly in front of me, Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett joining him to close ranks. I felt a slight stir in the space around me as my Mom's shield slid into place, enveloping me.

"Move. I want to talk to her," Jacob said, suddenly tense.

From between their bodies (I _hated_ being this short! Even if I was slightly taller than Alice) I could see that others had dropped into formation around Jacob. That must be his pack. I had sketchy memories of the youngest-looking man in the group, and only a vague impression of the only woman. How interesting.

Antagonistic tension suddenly made the air thick, and I panicked a little.

"Edward," Carlisle said. At the same moment Alice said "Jasper."

Calm enveloped my mind and relaxed my body. Apparently the others felt it too, as they relaxed their postures.

"I wasn't going to attack. I just want to talk to her...and Bella." Jacob told them. His eyes were on Jasper.

"We know. Jasper was just doesn't like encountering unnecessary stress," Dad told him.

"_Dad_," I whined.

For goodness sake! Couldn't everyone just get along and behave? No one was going to fight anyone on my account, anyway. I frowned and looked at my Dad pointedly.

_Think of him as a pet dog. He's harmless unless provoked._

Dad snorted. Mom started giggling. She could read my thoughts too, as long as I was under her shield. I exhaled in relief as Dad stepped back beside us, and my two Uncles retreated. Jacob's pack relaxed completely, shifting slightly away from him now that a fight was no longer imminent. My Dad was almost laughing, so I pushed against his mind tentatively. Briefly I caught an image of Jacob with a leash and collar around his neck, dog house in the background. I looked at Jacob and smiled, amused, one eyebrow raised. I couldn't quite picture it myself.

Jacob smiled at me, eyes seeking any imperfections or difference, I assumed. Mom cleared her throat.

"What, no 'Hi Bella' for me?" She asked.

"Hey Bells," Jacob grinned at her.

"Hi, Jake."

"What about the rest of us?" Alice trilled.

"I was getting to it, shorty."

My aunt was clearly not appreciative of the nickname.

"Carlisle, Esme." The two men exchanged a nod.

"Hello, Jacob. Hello, Leah." Esme sounded shy.

"Hi." The woman in Jacob's pack said.

So _she_ was Leah. I had remembered her to be more off-putting. Something must have happened.

Emmett looked at one of men behind Jacob. He was shorter than the rest, and a bit wider.

"You, the bulky one! You owe me a rematch!" My uncle nearly shouted at him.

Jacob turned along with everyone else in the pack to see who was getting the attention. The man looked a bit embarrassed as everyone stared at him.

"My name's Quil. And I can't…I'm getting married." He replied off-handedly.

"So?"

Emmett clearly didn't think this news added a hindrance to a little rough-and-tumble match.

"I promised my fiancé I wouldn't try to get myself killed." Quil said glumly.

The man next to him looked amused. "I'm game," he offered.

"Right. Now?" Emmett said hopefully.

"I think _not_." Esme said firmly. Emmett grinned deviously at her.

I watched each interaction, watching how each individual reacted with another. Thankfully, the truce between our family and their pack seemed intact. At least that had survived from the last time we had been here. The younger one bounded forward to catch up with my Dad properly, while Leah shifted off to the side and stood their uncomfortably. Emmett joined the ones he had challenged in obviously testosterone-fueled talk. Everyone else stayed where they were, simply because it seemed to be the prudent thing to do. They were still wary with each other.

"You're eyes are green."

Jacob's voice startled me out of my observations. I turned my head toward him, to the right, where he stood towering over me (okay, I _really_ hated being this short – I barely cleared his shoulder). My ponytail shifted in weight and settled over my left shoulder.

"Yes," I said, a little confused.

"They weren't green when you left."

Oh. Well, that it explained it.

"Right. Well, um, they changed when the hormones kicked in."

I heard my Mom come closer to the two of us.

"Oh."

"They're green like Edward's eyes were," Mom told him.

"His eyes were green?" Jacob sounded surprised. He jerked a little, like he hadn't noticed her join us.

"Mhmm."

"I have Mom's bone structure," I interjected, "and the pale skin, of course."

We all laughed.

"_Ren_," Alice said impatiently from the porch, "don't you want to see the house? It is, if you've forgotten, the place where you were _born_."

I turned to where my Aunt was shifting back and forth on the porch.

"Patience is a virtue," I quipped.

"One Alice doesn't have," Emmett joked.

I smiled at him over my shoulder.

Deciding it was better to appease Alice at my own time than to have her drag me into the house by my hair at hers; I grabbed my Mom's hand and started over toward the house.

"Come on! I've set everything up and I have my camera ready!" Alice called.

Dad started after us, with Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle behind him. I couldn't discern whether the pack was coming or not, though, because suddenly I was standing in the entrance room of the house.

I inhaled sharply. The pale color scheme of the large landing, and further in, the living and dining rooms provoked so many memories. I was barely conscious of moving forward, but I raced around the bottom level of the house, touching things I remembered, sending my memories to my family in a blinding rush. When I wasn't sure of something or couldn't conjure up a memory, I asked the others to help me. They laughed at my reactions, and were always willing to fill in the gaps. Done with the bottom rooms, I rushed up the stairs. Carlisle's office was the most interesting, and the room I spent the most time in. He told me he would explain all the paintings to me when I had finished exploring the rest of the house. I beamed at him and kissed his cheek, then raced out the door, down the hall, and into each of my family members' bedrooms.

It was in this rushed, frenzied, amazing way that I found myself finished with all the floors and rooms, and stretched out on the couch in the living room.

"It's so amazing, being back!" I breathed. My eyes roamed over the bleached wooden ceiling beams, but memories swirled and crashed over each other in my mind, and I felt a strange high that was exhilarating and quickened my already insane heartbeat.

"You belong here," Jacob said matter-of-factly.

I turned my head to the side to see him sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"You must be uncomfortable on the floor. Feel free to sit in a chair." I gestured over the glass coffee table to the three vacant ones just behind him.

"I'm fine."

A strange flicker of a mattress on the ground and my face as a baby was gone before I could figure out what it meant. I frowned, trying to place it.

My Dad's voice broke in before I could be sure I had really seen it. "So, would you like to see _our _house?"

I sat bolt upright and clapped, smiling in anticipation.

"Could we really? Wasn't it under construction? I seem to remember a lot of dust, and us moving back in here. Is it done? Can I see my room? What's changed about it?" This stream of verbalized thoughts tumbled over each other in excitement.

Mom smiled, Dad chuckled, Alice shook her head in amusement and Jacob grinned.

I clapped my hands for emphasis and stood. "Let's go!"

The others made the way out the sliding glass door ahead of me, Jacob hanging back to match my pace, as we started down the forest path. The sun suggested it was early afternoon, and I was struck by a thought.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked Jacob, watching the birds flit through the branches above me.

"Yeah," I looked at him and he shrugged, "I've gone longer without food, though."

My thought that he was insane must have registered on my face, because he laughed.

"I'll tell you about that adventure later, Nessie," He jabbed for my ribs.

I skipped forward easily, dodging the jab. I stuck my tongue out.

"Don't call me that."

"What?"

"Nessie. Don't call me that. It reminds me of the Lock Ness Monster. Everyone who knows me calls me Renesmee, or Ren, like the bird." My gaze sought ought the birds again.

Jacob grumbled.

"What?" It was my turn to ask.

My parents were dutifully walking ahead, not interfering.

"I've called you Nessie since you were born. I can't just change it. It's too weird."

"Uhg. I _hate_ the way it sounds!"

He harrumphed.

"Try? _Please_, Jacob." I pleaded with him.

"Fine…Ren."

I sighed happily and smiled at him.

"See? All better."

He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling a little too.

My parents stopped and rather dramatically pushed aside some branches. A small clearing with a stone house came into view. It was larger than I remembered it, but that was probably due to renovation. My memory was hardly faulty. The house blended together so smoothly that I couldn't tell what was original and what was new. It was beautiful, though, with a tiny patch of cultivated garden in the back and a tiny rose garden under the windows. A pebbled courtyard with a fountain in it, gurgling delightfully, occupied the space closest to us. A stone path led up to the wooden framed door, which had a giant iron handle to it, just like the ones I had seen in European castles.

My eyes grew wide and tears started leaking out of them. I wiped them away and laughed, embarrassed.

"Come on, I'll show you the inside," Mom said. She took my arm and led me forward.

Walking through the doorway, there was a small kitchen (well, only I ate human food anyway) and a spacious living room. The dining room was tucked into the side by the door and could only really seat four people. A small hallway off the right of the living room led the way to the bedrooms. Now there were four, instead of two. A guest bath was situated between the two extra bedrooms on the right. On the opposite wall was a closet. Farther down the short hallway, straight in front of us, was my parents' bedroom, and a little before that, on the left, was my bedroom.

I opened the door slowly, savoring the moment. Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper, along with Aunt Alice and Esme had designed and expanded my bedroom. Windows lined the wall that looked out onto the garden, giving me a nice view of greenery. Window boxes filled with flowers hung off the sill, and iron latches held the windows in place. Silk curtains tied with wide silver ribbons hung from dark wooden rods. The walls were a warm cream color, and the soft area carpet that covered the bleached wood floor was teal, like the ocean at Isle Esme during our last week there. Brazilian wood shelving units from our apartment there (horizontal, so as not to eat up the wall space) were placed in an unbroken line against the immediate inside wall. Photographs of our family from all points of my life varied in size and hung in an abstract pattern. The walk-in closet was to the left of the door, the french doors that led inside took up the entire space. My queen-sized bed was pushed up against the last wall, the farthest from the door, in an alcove. It nestled there, creating a nice nook. Black and White Hello Kitty bed sheets adorned it. I laughed and ran toward it, bouncing up and down on the edge. The bed was built on a platform, with no headboard or footboard. The walls creating the nook sloped upward, creating a dome with an old-fashioned lantern hanging from its center. Almost-sheer white curtains on dark wooden rods were discreetly tucked into slits, hidden until I wanted to use them.

"I love it."

"Alice had the shelving units shipped here, since she saw how much you liked them. Esme thought you would enjoy the dome and bed, so she asked Jaz and Em to incorporate them. The lantern is from Italy, and the windows from France. Alice had the photos printed yesterday and Esme hung them. Bella saw the bed sheets online and had them shipped here," Dad explained from the doorway.

"You do like Hello Kitty, right?" Mom asked worriedly.

"I love her, Mom! Why else would I insist on stopping every time we passed something with her face on it? Plus, it _is_ the newest trend."

I ran over and hugged them.

"There is, also, something from me," Dad said wryly.

He touched a panel in the wall that I hadn't noticed before and one of his compositions floated through the air.

"Hidden surround sound speakers, linked to a state-of-the-art sound system."

"_Thank you_," I told them earnestly. I hugged them both again.

When we broke apart I glanced around.

"Where does it hook up to?"

Dad leaned toward one of the photos and pushed it aside, revealing my iPod plugged into a miniscule base within a recessed shelf.

"Nifty," I said, impressed.

My family was always the best at making sure everything looked streamlined, with nothing to visually clutter a space.

"You should go thank the others," Mom suggested.

I kissed them both and made my way out of the house. Jacob leaned against a tree nonchalantly, waiting patiently.

"You're still here," I was slightly surprised.

"Duh, Nes…Ren." He caught himself.

"Nice save."

"I try."

I flitted up the path to the main house, jumped across the stream and raced into the living room. Jacob kept up easily.

Esme and Alice were in the kitchen, putting away dishes and silverware from boxes they had stored. I hugged them both and kissed their cheeks.

"Thank you! I absolutely love my room."

They smiled.

"It's not too…plain?" Esme asked me.

I shook my head. "It's perfect."

Jasper and Emmett we found in the garage, cataloging each vehicle we owned.

"Thank you!" I called to them.

As they were covered in dirt and grease, I didn't feel inclined to hug them, but I did peck their cheeks quickly. They laughed and shooed me away.

By now it was around four in the afternoon. My stomach rumbled. The dinner I had eaten last night on the plane seemed ages ago. Jacob looked sidelong at me.

"Are you done exploring your houses, now?"

"I suppose. Why?" I was trying to work out if my family had remembered to buy food or not.

"Just wondering if you wanted to explore the areas around, you know, like the city - which has restaurants." He waved his arm vaguely toward the road.

"You don't have a car," I pointed out.

"But you do."

I sighed. It was true.

"How do you know if I have my license?"

He snorted.

"Right," I said, slightly offended. After all, the guy didn't know me at all. (And I didn't know him, at least, not after twenty three years.)

We made our way around the side of the house, through the tall grass, back toward the stream.

"We probably shouldn't disturb your parents, though," He told me, a disgusted expression on his face.

I blushed. "Okay. Um, let me go ask Esme, then."

Walking up to the kitchen, I taped on the counter.

"Jacob wants to show me the city," I told her.

Esme turned, her caramel hair rolled into a chignon and her shirt a little rumpled.

"That's fine. Have fun." She said brightly.

I looked at her, unsure. "Are you…You're sure? Not worried or anything?"

"My dear, that unnecessary worrying is your father's forte, not mine. I'm sure Jacob won't get you into trouble."

"And if he does I'll kill him," Alice assured me, appearing through the other door.

"Alice," Carlisle warned, following her in, "Renesmee has no need to worry."

"You should probably pick up some groceries on your way back home," Esme put in.

Alice and Carlisle placed the boxes they had been carrying on the floor and proceeded to help Esme with putting things away.

"I could stay home and help, though, if you need me," I told them.

"Don't worry about us. We're perfectly capable without you. You should get to know the surrounding areas of your homeland," Carlisle reassured me again, navigating around the counter to hug me.

I breathed in his familiar scent, and relaxed. At that moment my stomach rumbled again.

He laughed, patting my cheek. "Go eat. We're fine here."

"You can take my car!" Alice told me brightly, taking my hand and zipping me out the door.

"Love you Esme!" I called quickly.

"Love you, too, dear." I heard her say.

Alice pulled me until we got to a bright yellow sports car at the far end of the garage. She pulled the keys out of her pocket and caressed the car with her free hand.

"It's my baby, so don't ruin it."

"I probably wouldn't, but don't you think it's a little ostentatious for a quick dinner and grocery trip?" I asked her, eyeing the car appreciatively. (_Some_ of my family's weird obsession with cars had rubbed off, at least.)

She looked a bit hurt.

"It's not that I don't absolutely adore it, but, well, don't we just have a cute little VW Bug or something?" I asked hopefully.

Alice sniffed. "Why would we have one of _those_? And, by the way, you smell bad."

"Thanks," I said dryly.

She smiled at me.

"We might, just maybe, have to swing by the car dealership tomorrow."

"Oh! Great idea! You really should have your own car here, you know. We could pick out a nice Lamborghini for you, or maybe a sleek Maserati…" Alice trailed off, a longing look in her eye.

"Or maybe just a nice, sturdy yet luxurious Cadillac," I offered. She frowned.

"What fun is _that_? They look like any other car." She whined.

"Only to you," I teased.

"Well, I suppose you could take Carlisle's car. That's more low profile."

She walked me over to where Carlisle's black Mercedes sat. I nodded.

"Much more low profile."

Alice let her fingers hover over several sets of keys on the bulletin on the garage wall. She selected one and tossed it to me, low and fast. I caught it with one hand and smirked as I opened the door and slid inside. Turning the key in the ignition, the engine purred to life, and I backed the car out into the field in front of the house, following the flattened grass path Jasper had made earlier while putting the cars away.

Rolling down the window, I motioned for Alice to come closer.

"Could you just let Mom and Dad know, please?" I asked her.

"Sure. Once they come looking for you, I'll let them know you ran off with an awful-smelling dog."

I sighed. "Right. Thanks."

Jacob loped through the trees into the meadow at that moment. He had acquired a shirt and a leather

jacket since we'd parted. Once he saw me in the car he grinned and bounded over.

"You got wheels, great!"

Alice's expression puckered and she waved goodbye, heading toward the house.

* * *

_~I wanted to get Ren and Jake's first encounter from both perspectives. And I love Alice, just like I love reviews! I apologize for any errors in the writing. Enjoy. Cheers!~_


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Once Jacob was in with his seatbelt buckled on the passenger's side I put the car into drive and made the way down the winding driveway back to the main road.

"You'll have to tell me how to get to the city, once we get to the end of the drive, Jacob," I told him.

"Port Angeles. It's not too far from here," He fiddled with the radio.

"Okay. Hey – what about your pack?" I glanced toward him and back to the road.

"They're fine without me for a while. I told them I'd be with you."

He said it so normally, like it was no big deal. I went back and forth in my mind a few times before I finally voiced the question that had been bugging me.

"Isn't it weird, though, now? We don't really know each other at all. We're almost strangers, and we're going to 'explore the area' like we're friends?"

We had almost reached the end of the drive.

"Aren't we? Friends, I mean," Jacob said quietly.

I stopped the car at the end of the driveway and turned to face him.

"I don't know. I guess. I mean, it's just…weird."

He looked at me, breathing in and out deeply. "You're going to want to turn left," He said, finally.

Once I had executed the turn and was racing towards Forks (We had driven through early this morning, and said hi to Charlie before he went to the Police Station) Jacob answered.

"We are. We're friends, at the very least."

I nodded. "That sounds nice."

"Okay," Jacob said, more enthused, "tell me about yourself."

Laughing, I asked him what he wanted me to say.

"I don't know. Favorite color?" He asked.

"Easy. Gold."

"Why?"

"It's the color my family's eyes are most often. It's what sets the vegetarians apart from the murderers, plus, it sparkles."

"Huh. Favorite band."

"That's tough. What time period?"

"You have a favorite band for each time period?" He sounded incredulous.

"Yes."

"Fine. Favorite band from the 1950's until now."

"Elvis."

"He's not a band."

"He created Rock and Roll!" I protested, completely shocked that Jacob was objecting.

He laughed, though, and relented. "Fine. Elvis is pretty cool. Favorite sport?"

"Sport? I'm not particularly into sports."

"You…what? Not into sports? I thought the Cullens liked baseball?"

I shrugged. "I usually ref."

The light was red, so I turned to see him shake his head.

"I like to dance," I offered.

"That's a sport," he pointed out.

"A lot of people don't think so."

A flash of color caught my peripheral vision. The green light glared down over us and I hit the gas.

"You drive slow," Jacob commented.

"I drive normally," I objected.

"Which is slow," He said.

"No it's _not_."

We went without talking for a few minutes; I hummed along with the radio.

"Take the next right and keep going until you hit the sign saying Port Angeles. Then turn right and park in front of the place with the giant pizza slice."

"You're taking us to a pizza place?" I could feel my face twisting into an off-put expression.

"They have more than just pizza," He explained, "Just trust me."

"Hmmm."

I absentmindedly adjusted the air conditioner to a colder setting.

"Are you warm?" Jacob sounded amused.

"Yes. You happen to have a temperature that is higher than I'm used to."

"Hotter than a vampire, you mean."

My lips quirked at his choice of words. "You have a higher temperature than a human, too, Jake."

The giant pizza slice flashed its neon lights head of us, and I slowed down to find street parking. Sliding into a stall with one smooth motion, I put the car into park and looked out the windshield.

"Shoot. I don't have American money on me," I muttered.

"How do you…never mind. I have enough," Jacob said. He unbuckled his seat belt and stepped out of the car.

As I was digging around in the back for my purse, he opened my car door. I grabbed my purse and stepped out of the car.

"Thank you," I told him.

"No problem." He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me into the restaurant.

Surprisingly, it felt normal. I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable at the touch of his warm hand or the fact that the restaurant wasn't a fast food place like I had expected. It wasn't a fancy place, but it wasn't a McDonalds either. There were booths with menus, but the atmosphere was casual. Jacob picked a booth and a waitress came over to us.

"Hi, I'm Jenna and I'll be your server. Can I get you anything for now?" She asked brightly.

"Hi, Jenna," I said, as Jacob looked at me.

Jenna smiled.

"Could I just have water please?"

"Sure thing. And you?" She asked, turning to Jacob.

"Mountain Dew," he said.

She nodded and hurried away.

"You know that's horrible for you, right?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I've been drinking it forever and I'm fine."

"Wierdo," I shot at him.

"Look who's talking," He fired back.

Jenna came back with our drinks and set them on our table.

"Do you need a few more minutes?" She asked.

"Yes." I said.

She disappeared again. I picked up the menu in front of me and looked through it. There was, in fact, more than pizza. They even had a 24/7 breakfast section.

"What are you getting?" I asked Jacob as I looked over at him.

He had the menu on the table and was leaning his head in his hand, looking at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Sirloin burger with all the fixings and fries on the side."

"Oh. Do you come here a lot?"

"Sometimes," was his reply.

I dropped my gaze to the menu again. There were too many choices. I closed my eyes. So much stimulation was hard after months in the jungle. I wish I could just go hunting with Nahuel. But I felt horrible about taking even an animal's life. (I know, so hypocritical. Emmett thought it was hilarious.)

"You okay?"

A warm hand touched my own. I opened my eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, just…overwhelmed."

Jenna appeared at the edge of our table before Jacob could respond.

"What will it be?" she asked.

Jacob looked at me.

"Um…What would you recommend that's vegetarian, Jenna?" I asked our waitress.

"Well, we have our seven-layer burrito with refried beans, sour cream, two types of cheese, guacamole, salsa and our own secret sauce. It comes with dirty rice and salad."

"That sounds great. Thanks."

She wrote it down. Jacob repeated his order to her and she left again.

"So why are you overwhelmed?" Jacob asked.

"Just, well, we've been in the jungle for a while, so there's no city there or anything, and suddenly being in places with constant activity and lights and sounds and _everything_ is just overwhelming."

"You were in a jungle?"

"Only for the past three and a half months."

"Are you serious?"

I looked at him, confused. "Yes?"

He breathed in and out with slow, deep breaths.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"You've been gone for twenty three years. And you've been in a jungle for only the past three and half _months_. How many places were you?"

"What's it to you?" I asked him indignantly. It really was _not_ his business.

"Ness – Ren, I _imprinted _on you. Everything about you is my business."

My nostrils flared. I was pretty sure my nostrils flared.

"Not like you're something to possess, but, it's just…you're the reason I'm here. You're the whole reason I exist – it's the reason why I chased after you for nineteen years straight, without eating for weeks at a time. You are my gravitational center. So yes, everything about you is my business too."

"Nineteen years?"

"Yes."

"Without eating for weeks."

"Mhmm. I did tell you I would tell you about that adventure, didn't I?"

"That was completely stupid and irrational."

"Ouch."

"It was," I insisted. The whole notion was ridiculous, and yet, there it was. He didn't seem bothered, though.

"About that imprinting bit," I said a bit stiffly. My heart beat a little faster than its usual pace. He raised his eyebrow, picking up on the increase of beats. "I was wondering…you were about to kill me, weren't you?"

His face hardened and he glared at me.

Maybe this hadn't been the time and place to approach him about it. I was suddenly nervous without my family there to protect me if anything got really nasty. I was sure I could handle him on his own, but I had no experience fighting a werewolf, and all these humans were around…

"Who told you that?" He hissed at me between clenched teeth.

"No one. I just remembered some things when we were apart."

His eyes narrowed.

"My first memory I have of you," I started slowly, checking his anger levels, "is of you at the bottom of the steps. You..." I hesitated, unsure, "Really, it would be easier to show you."

I stretched my hand out over the plastic table top, palm up. He glared at it and then pried one of his hands loose from the edge of the table and placed it in mine.

"You have to understand, this memory came up when I realized I wouldn't see you for a while. Promise me you won't phase here and attack all the innocent humans," I made my voice soft, looking into his eyes.

He nodded curtly. I let the memory flow between the link. His hand jerked out of mine as soon as it ended. He covered his face with his hands and moaned.

"Jacob?" I slid out of my side of the booth and into his. I put my arms around him.

"I'm a horrible person," he whispered.

"What? No!"

"I am. I was going to murder you right there. You're right, I only stopped because I imprinted."

I sat, frozen, unable to respond to the truth in his statement. I had been right. His love of me was forced because of the imprinting gene.

Jenna chose that moment to pop over to our table with our food. It steamed on the plates. She hesitated, unsure of where to put my plate now that I was on the opposite side. Finally, she just set our food down in the center, and when she didn't get a response she chirped "Have a nice meal!" and went to another of her tables, shooting us a concerned glance. Jacob had not raised his head out of his hands.

"Jake," I whispered.

He shook violently in his seat.

"Jake, please," I said urgently.

He shook his head and moaned again. "I _hate_ myself."

"Don't say that."

"I do. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate that I," he choked, "I hate that I would have murdered you."

"Yes, but you didn't. That must mean something." I rubbed soothing circles on his back.

Slowly he stopped shaking. He rubbed his face and lifted his head. I hugged him, prying open his arms and slipping between them, my head resting on his chest. He hesitated, debating if he should hug me back. I stayed where I was and felt his arms finally settle around me. His chin rested on top of my head. After a moment of listening to his slow heartbeats I pulled away.

"Are you going to phase?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Good. Can we eat now? I'm starving." I gave him a lopsided grin.

"I'm not hungry," Jacob said.

I frowned, pausing in the middle of getting up and transferring back to the other side of the booth. Instead, I tucked my legs under me and sat down next to him again.

"Eat, it's good for you," I commanded him. I pulled my plate of food toward me and dug in.

Reluctantly, after a few minutes of watching me eat, he did the same. We ate in silence, and when we finished I leaned against the back of the booth, hands on my stomach, and sighed contently.

"I told you the food was good," Jacob said, but the humor in his voice was lacking.

"Jacob, I've been thinking,"

I was interrupted by Jenna. That girl needed to work on her timing.

"Did you enjoy your food?" she asked brightly.

"It was delicious," I told her as I opened my eyes and sat up straighter.

She glanced at my plate and widened her eyes. I followed her gaze to my empty plate and then looked at her again.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked her.

"Oh, no, I just have never seen a girl eat the whole meal before," she said, her voice impressed.

"That's what I get for not being anorexic," I joked.

"Well, there's that," she responded. She cleared our plates and left the dessert menu.

I turned to Jake and smiled. "I was thinking that there must have been a reason why you imprinted. You know, in the grand scheme of things, our lives must be linked with the same Destiny, and all that. So, you see, everything's fine! Everything's moving along as it's supposed to be."

Jacob rolled his eyes. He still looked miserable. I was starting to regret saying anything at all.

"It doesn't mean our friendship is false, Jacob," I reminded both of us.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Did anyone else imprint?" I asked him.

"Quil," He responded.

"The girl he's getting married to?" I guessed.

Jacob nodded, looking thoughtful.

"You wouldn't say that their love is somehow a scam because he imprinted on her, would you?"

"No," he said.

"Well then." My point was made.

Jacob nodded. "You're right."

Then he grinned and hugged me.

"Do you forgive me?" He asked.

"Yes." I ruffled his hair.

"Friends?" he asked.

"Most definitely."

"Do you really want dessert? You did eat almost half a pound of burrito," Jacob said critically, eyeing my stomach.

I made a face at him and shook my head. "I guess not."

He raised his hand and got Jenna's attention. "Check please," he said cheerfully when she approached.

"Sure thing," Jenna replied.

* * *

_~Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Favorite animal," Jacob asked me.

It was getting late, but the thought of going home didn't cross my mind. Jacob and I sat in the car, the radio playing, parked in a spot at a public park. The glow from the radio lit our faces. The latest question was part of a game we had been playing for the past two hours.

"Skip," I said.

"You can't skip, that's the rule," Jacob retorted.

I fidgeted with the keys.

"Answer the question, Ren," He prompted.

"Fine. My favorite animal is the wolf."

He burst out laughing. I sighed and tried to keep myself from laughing too.

"Seriously?" he looked at me, still chuckling.

"Yes. I suppose it has something to do with hanging around giant wolves when I was a baby, but I love huskies, too, and they're more like wolves than anything," I explained.

He was still chuckling, so I asked him a question.

"Favorite sound," I said.

He stopped laughing and looked out the window.

"Your voice."

"Aw, how thweet," I said.

He smiled at me and continued. "First kiss."

"Skip."

"You can't skip every question, Ren, that defeats the purpose of our game."

"I only tried skipping the last three," I grumbled.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"When I looked about sixteen, this boy name Skylar kissed me in the mall. Dad was _not_ happy. We moved that day," I said aloud.

"That would have been when you were…"

"It doesn't matter. I was a sixteen year old."

"No, you weren't."

"I was four and two months."

Jacob swore. "Okay, moving on!" I said loudly.

"First time you did it," I said mischievously.

He stared at me without changing expression. "Skip."

"You can't skip every question, Jake, that defeats the purpose of our game," I mimicked him.

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

"Come on, I'm a big girl."

"No. That's too personal."

I blew air through my lips and pouted. "Fine, first girlfriend."

"Besides Bella?" he smiled.

"My mom doesn't count. She punched you."

"After Bella, I dated a girl named Margaret for a while."

"Margaret? What a horrid name," I said disdainfully.

"She was…convenient, at the time."

"When did you start dating her?" I asked.

"When I was in Washington, for a few months."

"Why were you in Washington?"

"Looking for you."

"Was she the first time you did it?"

"_Enough, Ren_. My turn."

We went back and forth for about half an hour more before I started to yawn.

"Time to get you home," Jacob informed me, concerned.

"I'm fine," I said. But it was getting hard to keep my eyes focused.

He opened his car door and came to my mine. He opened it and took my arm, his other hand on my back. Lifting me out, he walked me around to the passenger side and settled me in. Going back to the driver's side he slid in and turned the keys in the ignition.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked, slightly irritated at myself.

"Yeah, but I have more experience dealing with pushing it away than you do."

I hissed a little. He laughed.

Racing down the road at a good ten miles over the speed limit, Jacob sang along with the songs on the radio. It was a nice temperature in the car, and his voice was soothing. My eyes drifted closed.

Something cold and smooth was under me. I opened my eyes a little and saw my Dad's face above me.

"Hi, Daddy," I whispered.

"Hello, little one," He said affectionately.

"Thanks Jake," I heard my Mom say from behind us.

"Jacob," I said, trying to turn my head.

My Dad stopped, and then swung me around so I could have a clear view. Jacob was already at the bottom of the porch steps.

"Go to sleep, Ren, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks for today," I said to him sleepily.

"Sure, sure. Night." He said to me.

Dad turned and continued through the house and down the path to our home. He made his way along the short hallway to my bedroom. Mom came behind him, shutting off lights as she went. I was asleep before they could open my door.

The next morning I opened my eyes and stared at the white walls around me, confused. Then I remembered everything that had happened in the past two days and giggled. I pulled my Hello Kitty embossed sheets around me and snuggled into the mattress. My door cracked open and Mom stuck her head in.

"Good Morning, Renesmee."

"Morning Mum."

"Alice and Rosalie went out and bought food this morning, since you didn't last night," she said.

"I completely forgot! That was nice of them," I said.

The smell of pancakes wafted through the open doorway. I sniffed appreciatively.

Mom smiled. "I made your favorite – blueberry pancakes with chocolate syrup."

"Dad didn't make eggs?" I cracked before my yawn.

She laughed and shook her head. "Come out when you're ready," she added.

I got up slowly and walked over to the french doors on the far wall. Opening them, I was taken aback. The closet was deeper than I expected, and wider too. Clothes filled all the racks, with shoe boxes tucked away beneath. Hat boxes lined a shelf running along the top, along with other clear boxes filled with other items. Soft carpet, cream colored, lined the walk-in.

Sighing, I hunted around for a pair of shorts and a top. I finally found some designer jean shorts, artfully ripped and worn-looking, with a soft black V-neck shirt with three-quarter sleeves and a hand shaped in a peace sign on it. I skipped into the bathroom connected with my room and quickly washed up. My hair was frizzed out from having slept on it, so I plaited it and tied it with a rubber band. I decided on doing makeup after breakfast, my stomach was rumbling loudly. Why was I cursed with having a high metabolism? I must eat triple what a normal twenty four year old woman ate.

"She's not out yet? It's practically noon!" A voice complained from the front of the house.

"She's awake, Jake, give her a minute," Mom said, "And if you eat even _one_ pancake I am drop kicking you with no hesitation."

"I'm coming, I'm coming, jeez." I muttered.

Conversation stopped in the front of the house. I heard the spatula scrape against the frying pan in the kitchen and spritzed some perfume on before heading out of my door.

"Good morning sleepyhead!" Jacob crowed. He jumped up from where he had been leaning against the counter.

Dad looked up from the couch, where he was reading a book. "Good Morning."

"Morning, Dad." I went over to where he was and kissed his cheek.

"Mum, you are the best ever," I told her as I leaned over the counter and kissed her cheek as well.

"Hi, Jacob."

"Hi, Ren." He hugged me.

"Now she'll smell like wolf. Thanks, Jake," Mom said sarcastically.

I sat down at the table with a plate and placed some pancakes on it. Mom walked over with a glass filled with the promised chocolate syrup. Jacob sat down in another seat while I poured some syrup.

"Wow, Mom, how many pancakes did you make?"

There were about thirty pancakes stacked on the platter in front of me.

"Enough for you and some leftovers." She finished washing the dishes and went to go sit by Dad.

As I watched her snuggle into Dad's side I smiled. Jacob dipped a finger into the syrup on my plate and tasted it.

"Hey!" I smacked his hand away.

Cutting into the pancakes, I popped a piece into my mouth and hummed happily.

A knock came from the door. "Come in, Rose," Dad said from the couch.

Aunt Rose walked in, looking around. Her eyes settled on Jacob and she sneered.

"Dog," She greeted.

"Blondie," He replied.

She ignored him and turned to me.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come shopping today," She said brightly, kissing my cheek before she sat down.

I perked up. "Shopping? Where?"

"There's some outlet designer stores a few hours' drive away. Of course, I would have no problem going to The Plaza, but I know how much you like a deal, so," she shrugged, eyeing my breakfast (or lunch, whatever it was).

"Alice did fill up my closet pretty full to bursting," I started regretfully.

"We can go through it and decide what you want or not, and then we can fill up all that space with new things" She said, not missing a beat.

"Rose," Mom said disapprovingly, "they _are_ new, and Ren doesn't need anything else."

Rose looked at her, a blank expression on her face.

"I'll think about it, okay aunty?"

"Okay, just make sure you take a shower before we got out."

Rose shot Jacob a scathing look before rising and exiting through the door.

Jacob stuck his tongue out after her.

I finished my pancakes (after a few helpings), and washed my dishes. I guzzled some water and turned to see Jacob eyeing the pancakes.

"Go ahead," I said.

He looked happy enough. "Good, because I didn't eat yet, and Bella's cooking was always fantastic."

"Is." Dad corrected from the couch.

"How would you know, you never eat it," I put in.

"True," He said, "But everything about your Mother is fantastic."

He kissed her forehead and she ducked her head.

"You guys are too cute," I said.

Jacob made a noise from where he was shoveling back the pancakes.

I made my way back to my room, intent on putting some makeup on. I paused to put on an Oldies and Classical music playlist, and then continued through to the bathroom. I sat at the little vanity Esme had obviously designed, delighted by the abundance of natural light. I put on gold eye shadow, black eyeliner and mascara. Dusting my face with a light powder, I sat back and looked at the finished product. I dabbed a bit of concealer under my eyes, and rinsed my hands.

"Renesmee?" Alice's voice called from the doorway.

"In here," I called, stepping into the bedroom.

She sighed in relief and stepped over to me. She tiptoed and sniffed my hair, right by my ear. I stood still and looked at her when she stepped away.

"Your perfume cancels out the dog scent," she explained.

"Huh, okay. So what's up?"

"Rose told me you don't like your clothes."

"What? I didn't say that. I just told her I didn't know what I had, yet."

"You haven't gone through it?" Alice sounded annoyed.

"No, Alice, I haven't had a free moment."

"What are you doing now?" She walked over and yanked at my closet doors.

"Apparently looking through my clothing," I followed her through into the walk-in.

"I don't think so," said a voice from the hall.

Alice was yanking down garment bags and tops, shuttling them to my bed and flitting back to the closet for more.

"Thank goodness I didn't cut _all_ the tags off. I can just return them and get you something you like."

"Shorty," Jacob tried again from the hall. He looked curiously around my room.

"_What_? Can't you see we're _busy_?" She paused with her hands on her hips in the middle of my room, facing him.

"I was kind of stealing Ren today," He told her. He crossed his arms over his chest.

Alice narrowed her eyes.

"Jacob, this would be less painful if I just got this done now…" I started.

"I'll call you Nessie for the rest of your life if you don't hang out with me today."

"Don't you work or something?" I asked him.

"I have my own business. I can do whatever I want."

Alice thumped his chest. "Mister, you can have her when I'm done with her. That's final."

They glared at each other for a while. Jacob finally rolled his eyes and stepped away.

"I'll be around if you need me," he said as he departed.

* * *

_~Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

After leaving the little stone cottage I made my way through the woods towards the main house, planning to go around it and head towards home. I should probably check in on my shop on the way, too. As I passed the house, something blonde caught my attention in their living room. I tried and failed to resist the command to just keep walking. I opened the glass door and stepped inside the house. To my utter disappointment, it was Jasper and not Rosalie who was seated in one of the chairs. He looked up at the sound of the glass door sliding open.

"Hello, Jacob," he said politely.

"Hi," I replied.

He went back to watching the movie he had started playing. It was strange seeing a Cullen relaxing in a normal way. When he noticed I hadn't left or moved on he paused the film again and looked at me curiously.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked.

"I actually thought you were Blondie, from outside. I have a nice joke for her."

His lips twitched and he shook his head. "Rose is out working on a car."

"She's your mechanic?"

She honestly didn't act smart enough to know what to do with a wrench, but that was my personal opinion. Maybe she was secretly a rocket scientist.

"She's the one who knows the most about the most cars."

"Huh."

We shared a grin and I headed back out again.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem."

Jasper wasn't all bad, in reality. Too bad he wasn't a human.

I headed into the woods and stripped down to phase. Once I was in wolf form I ran through the trees. Yesterday had been amazing. Well, except for the restaurant bit. But Renesmee was so sure that we were moving along just fine to our "destiny" or whatever the hell it was that linked us together. There must be a reason for it. Just watching her sleep when I was driving her home was enough for me. She was the same when she slept; just like that little baby I had watched over. After Edward had put her in her bed I decided it was time for a little chat. Bella had agreed with a resigned air, but Edward was as polite as ever. He already heard everything going through my head no doubt, the little sneak.

We had left to hash it out in the woods, away from everyone else. Not really, but it worked for me. We had talked about what we'd done for the time we'd been apart. When I started talking about my fruitless searches, reliving the pain, Edward's face had shifted a little - like he sympathized. I remembered the burning man he had been when Bella was pregnant, and I guess he did understand. He understood what it was like to lose the very center of your life. Maybe now he realized how deep this was for me, not just some on-the-surface love but a vast ocean, and I was the boat being thrown around everywhere. Anyway, they hadn't argued when I said I would try to be with her about every second of the day. They did, however, put a quota on how many nights I could visit in a week. I snorted. Yea, like they could keep me away. I'd just make Edward feel that horrible angry frustrating hopeless loss I had felt for a good twenty two years again.

Feet padded through the soft underbrush, in time with mine.

_We thought you were never coming home._

It was Seth, who gave me a comical expression as he appeared.

_Just adjusting myself to their smell again. They really do reek._

_I _told _you that. Remember?_ This was from Quil. He was farther away, almost at the reservation.

I_ said that, fleabag._ Embry said.

_Shut up. Let him get home and get some sleep in peace, guys._

_Thanks Leah._

It was quiet for a while, with just Seth and I running together.

_So, Jake, you write that speech yet?_

I groaned and Quil barked with laughter.

I got home with relatively less teasing after that, and I opened the front door of my house with a bang. The squeak of wheels told me my dad was coming, and then he appeared from the doorway of the kitchen.

"Hi, Jake. Welcome home."

"Thanks, Pops."

"How was it?" He tried to look nonchalant, but I could tell he was burning with curiosity.

Instead of going to my bed like I had planned originally I decided to stay and toy with him for a while. I sat down on the sofa, stretching with my hands behind my head and then flicking the TV on.

"It was alright. Ness – Ren is all grown up now, and there was food and stuff, ya know?"

I kept my eyes on the old television set. My dad rolled around the kitchen, putting together lunch.

"The Cullens had food?"

"We went out."

"Oh."

The silence lasted for about a beat, and then I laughed, turning to him.

"Come on old man, ask me some questions. I'm tired of trying to keep all the good stuff to myself."

He smiled and shook his head.

"Not fair to an old man like me, kid."

"Sure, sure."

"What's she like, now?" He asked.

"Who?"

"Nessie, and Bella, too, I guess. Hell just give me a rundown on the whole family, kid."

"Nessie looks like a regular human, I guess. Just, more beautiful and perfect. She hates being called 'Nessie' now and likes being called 'Ren'. She tries to be vegetarian when she eats human food, because she feels bad for animals, which is pretty ironic."

My dad raised an eyebrow and looked like he almost choked on his water.

"Bella is same as when she left, except now she's tougher and can raise one eyebrow. Impressive, for her. The rest of the Cullens are pretty much the same." I scowled, remembering Blondie, "Carlisle says hi."

"All of them are home?" He asked.

"Yep. They all wanted to be here for Ren's homecoming." I stretched. The couch was really comfortable.

"How will they go around without anyone seeing them? The humans will recognize them…" Dad looked concerned.

I nodded. "I asked them about that. They said that they'll stay home for the most part. If they need to go out for something they'll take Carlisle's car, no one can see into that one, and go farther out. They won't shop or visit anywhere in Forks."

"That's smart of them."

I shrugged and started to get up. "I'm beat, Dad, I'm going to take a nap."

"Sure thing. I'll be here."

My muscles felt heavier the closer I got to my bedroom. I'd already forgotten that we didn't eat lunch, or what my name was. My bed was calling me – that was all that mattered.

Something was ringing. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. The ringing abruptly stopped, and I could hear my dad's low voice talking to someone.

"He's busy right now."

A pause as he listened.

"Yeah, I'll tell him. Okay. Bye."

The phone clicked as he set it down. I walked over to my door and opened it.

"Who was it?"

"Oh, hi Jake. Wasn't sure you were up. That was Ronny, from down at the shop. He wants to know your opinion on an engine something-or-other."

I got a shirt from my dresser and pulled it on.

"Bye, Dad."

I jumped on my bike and revved the engine. Then I shot out onto the main road and started out for my shop.

* * *

_~I tried to round out all the characters that keep popping in and out. Hope you enjoy it! Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"It's definitely more than a paint job, Mike," I said into the receiver.

Ronny popped his head into my office. I had been there all day, working. It sucked that I couldn't interact with anyone personally – my inability to age makes that kind of impossible. Since I'm forty and still look like I'm in my twenties, people would probably think I'm a freak. That's why I have Ronny. I had hired him when I started my shop four years ago, and he was in on the whole werewolf thing, too. He was the face of the business, and I was the guy who finalized orders. If he told anyone I'd probably have to kill him. Or admit him to a mental-help ward.

"Someone here to see you," he said when I looked at him.

"Look, Mike, we'll have it done by the end of the week. That's all I can promise." We said goodbye and I hung up the receiver.

"Who is it, Ron?" I asked, looking through some invoices.

"Some girls. Their car doesn't have anything wrong with it and they asked for you, so," he shrugged.

"He knows who we are," Alice said from behind him. She poked her head around Ron and looked around my office.

"_Alice_. Thank you so much, Ronny," Ren's voice said from behind them.

Ron nodded and left, too good mannered to let his curiosity get the best of him.

Alice loped gracefully into my office and wrinkled her nose. Ren followed her, leaving the door open.

"Whew, Jacob, you should invest in air fresheners," Alice told me jovially, standing with her hands on her hips in the middle of the small space.

"Hmmm," Ren added, her eyes looked over stacks of paperwork. She sat in the only other chair and kicked her legs back and forth.

"Ren don't sit there. You'll smell funny."

"Says the girl who smells like moldy incense," I said, reminding her that she reeked too.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

"Play nice," Ren mediated.

"Why are you here? And how did you even know where I was?"

"Bella said you started your own business. Ren told me it was car shop, so I got curious and came with. We used our GPS, but we could probably have just followed your stench," Alice elaborated.

"_Enough_ about the way I smell."

"You said you wanted to do something today. Alice is done with me for the day, so I thought we could go eat dinner again." Ren put in.

Glancing at the clock, I saw it was already five in the evening. I hadn't eaten all day, except for Bella's pancakes, and I was starving.

"Sure, let's go."

"I'm coming too!" Alice said.

Man, how could a person project that much enthusiasm? Ren smiled and linked arms with Alice, and I followed them out.

"Taking off, Ron. Can you handle it?" I asked as we passed him in the main part of the garage.

"Yeah, don't I always?" He cocked an eyebrow at the girls, but didn't comment.

Alice and Ren slid into a bright yellow sports car that obviously had been custom designed and specially shipped in, and I hopped on my bike again. I pulled up to the driver's side window.

"There's a good place down the road, follow me," I told Alice.

"Lead the way," She told me, grinning.

Stupid vampire tailgated me the whole way. Good thing I didn't have to stop all of a sudden, because her shiny car would have been scrap metal. When we reached the parking lot I pulled into a spot and cut the engine. Alice pulled in right beside me.

"Could you have gotten any closer?" I sneered at her.

"Please, I didn't see any problems," She said loftily.

"I thought you couldn't see us?" By "us" I meant werewolves, and she frowned.

"Right, but I could see me, and I can sort of see Ren, and we were both perfectly fine," Her smile returned.

"Great."

Ren sighed and grabbed my arm, pulling me.

"Let's _go_ Jacob."

I allowed myself to be pulled and held the door open for both her and Alice. Once we were all at a table and had some food in front of us, we stopped talking. Well, Renesmee and I did. Alice chattered on constantly, not drinking or eating anything. I kind of let her voice melt into the background until she turned to Renesmee, who had just placed the last bite in her mouth, and asked a question.

"Have you talked to Nahuel lately?"

Ren rolled her eyes and chewed the food slowly. Then she swallowed and took a sip of water, letting Alice wait it out.

"He sent me an email yesterday."

"That's nice. Huilen was clear as day to me yesterday, so they must be separated."

"Nahuel just started university again. He's going for a degree in Modern Literature this time around," Ren explained.

"You should have told him to pursue his education here."

Ren blushed and shook her head. "He's probably more comfortable over there."

"I think not." Alice frowned at her.

"Wait. Who?" I interjected.

"Nahuel," Alice said, never taking her eyes of Renesmee.

Ren still hadn't looked up from her plate.

"That half-bloodsucker who was in the clearing when we almost fought it out with those evil leeches?"

"Yep. We visited him when we were in the Amazon," Alice told me.

"Huh. Bella and Edward didn't mention that."

"Of course they didn't."

Something clicked in my head. "He's your boyfriend?" I asked Ren. I had to work to unclench my teeth.

"No!" Too quickly.

"They like each other, but they haven't established a relationship yet," Alice said in exasperation.

Ren scowled.

Yeah, I was definitely stealing her away _every_ day. She wasn't going to leave me again.

* * *

_~Hope you're enjoying the story. And yes, that is Mike who had it bad for Bella whilst in high school. Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The next day I woke up to the sun streaming through my windows. I groaned and put my arm over my face. A chirping came from off to the right, and I groped blindly with my hand to stop the noise. Catching my cell phone, I hit a button on the side randomly. The phone fell mercifully quiet.

I cracked open one eyelid and stared at the ceiling. I let out a huge breath and opened the other eye. The sunlight was almost blinding. I blinked a few times to adjust my eyes to the light. The chirping came again. I groaned and glanced at the phone vibrating on the mattress next to me. Jacob's name flashed across the screen before it went dark again, and the light in the corner blinked at a rapid pace.

I groaned and fell back on my pillow and brought the phone up to my face. Jacob had called me five times, and had left me as many voice messages. Calling him back, I decided, was my first order of business.

"You called?" I asked when he picked up.

"We're going to the beach today."

"We are?" I glanced at my windows and had to blink again against the brightness.

"Sure, it's sunny."

"Thank you for your observation."

"Hah. Get ready. I'm picking you up in ten minutes."

"You don't live that close."

"I'm on my way now."

"Crap! Jake! I need _time _to get ready."

"Start now. I got to go." He hung up on me.

I vaulted out of bed and sped to the bathroom. I got through the necessities and then raced to the shower. Shaving quickly, I finished in record time, and then toweled off and grabbed a bikini from my drawer. I doubted La Push was as warm as the South American beaches I had gone to, but I refused to bundle up and risk warmth for fashion. Besides, I was better equipped to handle it than a regular human.

A tap on the door startled me, and I paused in the middle of pulling on some shorts. I peeked around the closet door and saw Jacob grinning at me.

"Don't you knock?" I muttered irritably.

"Sure, but I gave you advanced warning."

I grabbed a shirt and yanked it on, dislodging the bun I had haphazardly put up seconds before.

"I'm _changing_ Jacob. That means you are required to knock."

"But I didn't know you were."

"Which means you should knock anyway."

I emerged from my closet, did my bun again and put my hands on my hips. He grinned and raised an eyebrow. I narrowed my eyes and didn't relax my pose at all.

"Okay fine. I'll knock from here on out," He said while rolling his eyes.

"Good. I'll hold you to it."

"Great! Ready to go?" He asked me, excited.

I grabbed my purse and joined him in the doorway. "Ready."

On the way out of the house I grabbed a towel and slipped on some shoes. Closing the door behind me I paused. It was too quiet.

"Where…" I paused again, listening.

"What?"

"Where is my family?" I looked around, but I couldn't see any sign of their passage.

Jacob shrugged, walking backwards along the path. I followed him, searching left and right for any one of my family members. Walking up to the main house, I opened the door cautiously. Carlisle sat in one of the chairs in the living room, reading the paper.

"Hi Carlisle," Jacob said over my shoulder.

"Hello, Jacob. Hello Renesmee," He replied, looking up and smiling.

"Hi," I walked over and gave him a hug. "Do you know where everyone is?"

"I'm not quite sure at the moment, but I'll let them know you've left when they return."

I hesitated.

"You _are_ leaving, aren't you? It's nice out today, you should enjoy it." He smiled at me, his skin shimmering slightly in the late morning sun.

"We are," Jacob said. He clamped a hand around one of mine and pulled me toward the door.

"Wait," I said, "It's sunny out. They shouldn't be outside."

Carlisle's brow puckered a little.

"What are they doing?" I pressed.

"Nothing. They're away, out of the sun, I promise."

His eyes held nothing but truth, so I sighed and relented to Jacob's eager insistence to leave.

"Bye Carlisle, I love you!" I called back over my shoulder.

"Love you too, Ren."

I heard him chuckle as Jacob pulled me across the meadow to his bike.

"Hold on," he said as he started down the driveway.

Hours later, as the sun made its way across the sky, I sighed contentedly on my towel. My feet dug into the rocky sand that was much rougher than any other sand I had experienced, but it was warm and that was all I cared about. The sun warmed my eyelids, my neck, my shoulders, my stomach and all the way down to my ankles. After being here in Forks for so many months with nothing but rain I was ecstatic to finally feel the warmth from the sun again. I hummed happily.

Something cold dropped against my left thigh. I frowned and brushed it away, wanting the sun to warm that spot again. Another cold spot dropped against my leg, and then a whole lot of them dropped against my stomach. I shielded my eyes against the sunlight and opened them. Jacob grinned at me from above, cold seawater dripping from his hair onto me. I glared at him and sat up.

"Stop it, Jake," I protested.

He responded by shaking his head. His hair flung out and drenched me with a fine spray.

"That's it – you're going down."

I dug my feet into the rocky sand and launched myself at him. He caught me even as he started to move backwards, and he stumbled back and fell into the shallow water.

"Ow. Okay, freak, this means war!" He yelled.

"Come and get me," I taunted.

We both staggered up from the pebbly sand with a great deal of splashing. We were both fully soaked now, and I shook the strands of wet hair from my face. I cleared my vision just in time to see Jake lunging at me, and I squealed while diving sideways into deeper water. His warm hand closed around my ankle, but I kicked him off and continued to put distance between us. I could feel him not far behind, so I turned and confronted him. I never turned down a challenge, and I hated to lose. I kicked up to the surface and took a breath. Jake was just inhaling when I splashed water in his face and he sputtered. I took that opportunity to put my hands on his shoulders, trying to force him under. Instead of being pushed down, he kicked up and I felt his arms wrapping around my torso. I struggled, but it was no use. He had too strong of a grip on me. We ended up gasping and locked together, neither gaining advantage. My hands were still on his shoulders, and his arms felt warm around my waist. I shook the water from my face and looked at him, laughing. He grinned and stared back at me.

Suddenly I was hyper aware of how much of my body was pressed up against him, and how warm his skin was against mine. His warm brown eyes caught and held mine, and I noticed that there were lighter flecks of brown within the deeper tones. My breathing hitched even as my hands traveled along his collarbone to his arms.

"Hey! When you two are done hugging in the water, we could use a hand!"

I blinked and looked toward shore, where Embry was standing with a huge pile of wood. Jacob chuckled and released me, running a hand through his wet hair.

"We should…we should go see what's up," He said, turning toward shore.

Clearing my throat, I gazed at his profile. "Yes, I guess we should."

* * *

_~Don't get too comfortable just yet...there's loads more cliffhangers. Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"So...what was happening in the water when we showed up?" Quil said in an undertone.

He chuckled and knocked my arm with his.

What would have been a growl if I had been in wolf form rumbled through me. Luckily Ren was too far away to hear. Her bronze hair fell in waves around her as she helped Clair and Leah unload more food, turning red and gold in the fading sunlight. Her green eyes sparkled against her now tan-ish skin (she still looked incredibly white) as she handed Seth a stack of plates.

"Nothing," I told him.

Embry raised his eyebrows as he hefted a cooler toward us. Quil grabbed the other end of it and shrugged.

"Sure didn't look like nothing to me," He commented.

I sighed. "Look, guys, we're just friends. There's nothing that's going on between us."

Quil rolled his eyes. Embry snorted.

"Besides, she has that South American bloodsucker, anyway."

"Sure, sure. But just to let you know, I think she's pretty cool, and you guys have a good thing going," Quil said.

"Just wait until you've been married a few years, and then get back to him," Embry joked.

Leah, Claire, Seth and Ren rejoined us then, so our conversation got cut off. The warmth of the sun was starting to fade, and we lit the fire so we could have it roaring by the time dusk settled.

Ren took a seat on a driftwood log and I sat down next to her. Claire sat down on her other side and turned to her a bit timidly.

"So, I hear you're a vegetarian," She said conversationally.

I eyed Claire, trying to see where she was going with this.

"Yes, I am," Ren answered.

"I just…I'm sorry, but…I just…I don't understand how that works?" The end of Claire's sentence turned upward at the end, as if she were embarrassed, and her eyes were trained on the flames.

Ren's cheeks turned pink. I hugged her to my side.

"Because I'm…" Ren let the rest of the sentence die.

Claire dipped her head. "I'm sorry if I offended you, I was just curious."

It took Ren a moment to answer.

"No…it's fine. It's just that no one's ever asked me that before." She smiled a bit.

I let out a breath and turned my face away, but I kept listening intently to their conversation.

"It _is_ a bit ironic, I suppose. I trained myself to eat human food, with some help," I felt her shoot a glance in my direction, "and I figured it was enough to take an animal's life one way, and it was gluttonous to do it two ways."

"I…but don't you prefer the…other way?" Claire asked.

"Not really, to tell you the truth. I find it…cumbersome to live that way, especially since it's easier to move around and blend in with humans when I eat human food. Also, I started to really feel horrible for the animals. I couldn't see the point in taking their life when it's much more sustainable to harvest and then replant vegetables and grains and all that."

Now Claire was silent as she digested that information. I was kind of impressed, too, with what Ren said. It made me respect her choices more, but I was _not_ going to give up on meat just because of some poor animal's feelings; the food chain and survival of the fittest, and all that.

* * *

_~I liked the thought of giving Ren a more moral view of her eating habits. Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Look! Food!" I said loudly, when Seth began passing it around.

Ren looked up, startled.

"They even have veggie things and tofu things for you. Don't know why you like to eat them at all, because they taste worse than gravel, but they brought them all the same," I continued.

Ren straightened up and made a face at me, laughing.

"It's good, Jake, you just have to try it."

"I have," I said firmly.

"No, you haven't. That was disgusting tofu from a greasy noodle dish at that restaurant in Seattle. It doesn't count. Sue's tofu is always the best."

Seth passed her a foil platter with the mentioned tofu dish and a fork. She smiled at him and opened it, inhaling the steam that emerged.

"Mmm."

I gagged and grabbed a burger before they could disappear. Embry came to sit by me, with Leah on the other side of him. I waved the burger front of Ren, letting the delicious smell envelop her.

"Mmm. Now that's real food," I said, before taking a bite.

She wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes. Spearing the cheese/tofu/vegetable casserole Sue had made her; she put it in her mouth and chewed happily.

"You're weird," I said.

"I am," she agreed, "but you still hang out with me."

I laughed out loud at her.

Ren, unfortunately, took this opportunity to pop a forkful of her casserole in my mouth. I tried to spit it back out immediately but she clamped her hand over my mouth in an iron grip and stood over me, eyes glinting wickedly. I was forced to chew and swallow, and I had to admit that it was pretty good. Since she kept her hand over my mouth even after I had been a good sport, I licked her hand through my mashed lips.

"Ew!" she jumped back and glared at me, holding the offending hand away from her.

I had no shirt for her to wipe my saliva back in, and I took a big bite of my burger under her glare on purpose. I could tell she was contemplating wiping it into my hair when Claire handed her a napkin.

"Here, Renesmee," Claire said, slapping the napkin into her palm.

"Thanks, Claire."

The girls exchanged a smile. Renesmee sat down again, and Claire joined her. They talked while they ate, and I listened to the conversations surge and mix around me. Others from the reservation joined us over time, most of them friends and family, others were more acquaintances. My pack was generally accepted on the reservation, even though we never seemed to age. Sam's pack was too. Sam and I had eventually agreed to split the reservation and surrounding areas in half, patrolling our designated section, but allowing help from the others when needed. We were, after all, wolf-brothers, if nothing else.

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear_ I thought, as I spotted Sam and his pack at the edge of the now enlarged circle. Someone had added wood to our fire at some point, making the blaze larger than normal. Some girls were roasting marshmallows, and a radio was playing some new club song. Sam nodded to me over the crowd, and I returned the gesture. He looked older, but only by a little. He had decided to age along with Emily, and only turned into a wolf a few times every few months. His sons had joined his pack, and they stood almost as tall as him now, as gangly teenagers.

Renesmee grabbed my hand and squeezed it. Her warm skin was only a few degrees cooler than mine. Dinner had been finished long ago, and the newcomers had brought drinks with them. More wood was added to the fire. Its heat rolled out to us and made it stifling hot. I took a swig from my beer and looked at her. I still couldn't believe that she had reciprocated my feelings. I had prepared myself for rejection, but never for acceptance. It made me feel light and full at the same time; like I was finally in a place that was made specifically for me.

She sipped from her own bottle, some sort of fruit cooler, and licked her lips.

"Isn't it bizarre how alcohol doesn't affect us?" She asked me.

"You mean it takes more alcohol to affect us than normal people?" I clarified.

She nodded, watching how the firelight reflected through her drink. I watched the fragments of color hit her face before I answered.

"I guess. But we do have an elevated body temperature, so it must burn off quicker. Like morphine," I added.

"It doesn't affect my family at _all._ Emmett can do fifty shots one after another and he's perfectly fine afterwards."

My silence must have alerted her to my shock, because she turned her head to look at me.

"You're thinking he's crazy," She accused.

"No," I said quickly, "I'm just wondering what possessed him…"

She shrugged. "He was curious."

Thinking about the Cullens as actual vampires made me uncomfortable, so I switched the topic.

"You're birthday is in a few days," I said.

Ren took another sip of her drink. "Right around the corner," she agreed.

"What are you doing for it? Twenty five is big," I teased.

"It is! I'll be a quarter of a century," She said seriously.

That struck me. Damn, vampires must actually make the twenty-fifth birthday into something big. What was with them and their century-markers?

"Alice and Rose took control of it though, and my Mom is helping them plan it with my Dad making sure it doesn't turn into a year-long carnival, so I have no idea," she continued.

"Huh, well let's hope it doesn't turn out like Bella's last birthday did."

She glowered at me.

"Time to go home? It _is_ past midnight," I said hopefully.

She sighed and nodded in consent. We said goodbye to the people we knew and slid into her new car. In no time at all we were headed towards the Cullen house, she having called ahead to let them know she was safe and we were on our way.

It was quiet in the car as we drove, each of us just listening to the music from the radio. Half an hour later we started down her driveway. The windows were open, since the night (or morning, whatever) was nice, and I caught a different scent on the wind.

"What…?" I asked myself out loud, trailing off.

Renesmee looked at me curiously and sniffed. Then she got a half quizzical, half incredulous expression on her face and she peered ahead.

"What is it?" I asked her.

She shook her head really quickly and drove faster. We broke through the last of the trees a second later and she parked the car in no time flat. Before I could open my door she was out and running toward the house. I followed her quickly, leaving the car door open. I jumped up the steps and ran into the Cullens' front entry. I stopped dead when I saw what was going on.

Renesmee had her arms wrapped around this South American looking guy, all dark hair and dark eyes. Luckily, he was dressed properly. Last time I had seen him he had gone around almost naked, nothing but some sort of loincloth wrapped around his lower extremities. Renesmee pulled away from him and started chattering happily, her eyes never leaving his face. A sinking feeling in my stomach made me swallow hard to keep from vomiting.

"Jacob?" Bella said from my side. Her eyes were anxious. "You remember Nahuel, don't you?"

I stared at her.

"Nahuel? The other half-human half-vampire?" She prompted.

I nodded.

"Jacob!" Renesmee called happily, totally oblivious to this new feeling I was experiencing, like I was boiling hot and ice cold at the same time.

"Come meet Nahuel!" She called to me again, beaming.

"I remember him. Your wolf protector," Nahuel said in a soft silky smooth voice.

He was definitely good at putting on a show, I decided.

I walked forward when Renesmee looked at me meaningfully and shook the leech's hand.

"Jacob, this is Nahuel. Nahuel, this is Jacob."

So, I was just plain old Jacob again.

"Nice to meet you," Nahuel said to me.

Before I could reply his attention was diverted by Emmett, who asked him loudly how life in the rain forest was.

"I have to go," I told Ren.

I turned toward the door and stepped out into the cool night.

"Nice to meet you, Nahuel," I said stonily.

Honestly, it shouldn't bother me that this Nahuel came down to visit, but I could barely control my shaking hands as I unbuttoned my shorts, trying to get them off so I wouldn't annihilate them when I phased. Once they were securely tied to my leg I burst into my wolf form, confusion and pain pushing me to run faster. Luckily none of the others had left the beach party or phased yet. I was all alone, just like I always was.

I was alone.

* * *

_~Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I ran out after Jacob. His cold detachment when meeting Nahuel had scared me. His eyes especially – cold and hard, filled with loathing.

"Jacob!" I yelled, running out into the middle of the meadow.

He was gone. I stopped and listened and could hear nothing. Sighing, I turned to find my Mom hovering on the steps.

"He'll be back," She said.

I didn't say anything, confused.

"Did anything happen?" She asked, coming closer.

"I..well," I stammered, not knowing where to begin, "I don't know. I don't think so…"

I trailed off, looking with wide eyes at the forest. He had no reason to just run off like that, making me worried and anxious. My mother put her hand on my shoulder.

"Let's go back into the house, then. He'll come around again. Besides, you've been spending a little too much time with him lately, I think."

She steered me back into the living room, where the others were talking. Nahuel rose when he saw me and walked over.

"Renesmee, may I have a moment?" He asked me, suddenly formal.

"Sure, Nahuel."

He led me out the back into the forest. Unconsciously, I led him down the path toward our smaller stone house. When we had put a little distance between us and my family he started to talk.

"That wolf-man, you are in a relationship with him?" He asked me.

I was a bit surprised at the sudden topic. But since Jake had run away like that I supposed it was understandable.

"We're just friends, at the moment. Although why you would ask I don't know," I kept my expression neutral.

Nahuel sighed, looking at the trail ahead of us, and ran a hand through his dark blue-black hair. The lights from the house faded away completely.

"Perhaps I had not made myself clear enough beforehand," He reached out to grab my hand, pulling me gently to a stop. He turned, looking into my eyes. "Renesmee, I care for you very deeply. I have not been moved this way for over a century. It is a very powerful thing, for me. I do not know what your feelings are towards me, but I would like you to know that it would be an honor to court you. My hope is that you will say yes to my courtship; however, please do not feel obligated on my behalf. We may continue on as before, if you feel it would hurt or detriment your relationship with the wolf. I have already asked your family and they granted us their blessing."

I stared at him, concentrating on how to breathe. It felt like I had been punched in the gut. His sudden declaration was almost too much to comprehend. Another thing, too, was the feeling of happiness that presented itself. I had not been sure of my feelings toward Nahuel, and now I knew that I cared for him a lot more than I had previously imagined.

I swallowed, even though my throat was dry. Nahuel still held my hand in both of his. His skin was the same temperature as mine, perhaps a bit cooler. I could hear his heartbeat, fast as a hummingbird's, keeping pace. Mine accelerated as I panicked a little at the rush of feelings.

"You do not have to answer tonight, love. Just please know my feelings and intentions regarding you. They are pure and honest," He said quietly, trying to alleviate my distress.

I nodded weakly, and tugged him toward my house again. I did not let go of his hand, and he did not let go of mine. Something connected in mind and I turned toward Nahuel slightly.

"So, when did you ask them?"

"On the way to your home from the airport."

I stopped. "Wait, is that why they were gone this afternoon?"

He chuckled a little and nodded.

"They were apparently getting ready for my arrival, and notifying individuals that I would be present. Once the sun had set reasonably behind the horizon did they come to collect me."

I smiled at him and continued on.

After a second Nahuel said, "A moment. What is that smell?"

"Oh," I said, sheepish, "I think it might be me. Hanging out with wolves leaves me smelling like them."

"Is that what that is? I thought something was rotting nearby."

I stuck my tongue out at him. He tweaked my nose. The stone house appeared ahead of us, and I quickened my step.

"Is this your home?" He asked me, turning his attention to the architecture.

"Indeed. Let me give you a grand tour."

After I had shown him around the main living areas I pushed open the first guest bedroom's door.

"And this is," I began and then paused when I saw a black duffel bag on the turned-down bed.

"You've been here!" I accused.

"I'm sorry. I should have mentioned. It was very pleasing to hear your tour. Your parents didn't have time, as you arrived a few minutes after my arrival." He smiled apologetically.

"Understandable. You don't have to apologize." I patted his hand.

"This," I started again, tugging him a few steps down the hallway, "is where I sleep."

I opened the door to my bedroom and his eyebrows rose with acceptable admiration.

"It suits you," he said.

I fiddled with the music while he walked around, looking at the photos, at the books (I had filled the shelves on one of my first days with Alice), and the games I had stacked haphazardly by the window.

"What's this?" he asked me, looking down at word tiles from my Scrabble set.

"Scrabble," I replied.

"How do you play?"

"Here, I'll show you." I grabbed the box and plopped down on my area rug. "Although I have to warn you, I'm kind of the Scrabble Champion around here."

He scoffed. "Impossible. You're the youngest."

"Exactly." I winked and pulled out the board.

It turned out that Nahuel loved Scrabble, and he was really very good at it. I frowned, looking between my tiles and the board, trying to figure out a word that would put me back in the lead. We had been competing for hours, and it was now 2:30 in the morning. Nahuel was only one game behind.

"Are you going to put anything down at all?" He said teasingly.

I ignored him and idly fingered a Z tile. _Zebra, Faze, Razor, Zamboni, Gaze, Daze, Zen…_

Words flitted through my head as I tried to decide which had a higher word point total. Obviously _Zamboni_, and it would reach the triple word score that was there. The only thing was that I didn't have a B tile. My eyes scanned the board, trying to pick one out. A weird rustling sounded outside my window. I ignored that, too, intent on the game. I didn't notice the front door opening and closing twice, within five seconds of each other. I didn't hear my Dad murmur to my Mom 'He's not there' in the living room. And I certainly didn't notice, in my fervor of trying to win, that Nahuel scooted over to the right, putting himself in-between the window and me.

* * *

_~What's going on? Keep reading to find out! Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

It was a stupid idea, going back. I knew that, my mind knew that, but my body refused to listen and took me over to Ren's house anyway. After my hasty escape I had brooded by the sea cliffs for hours on end, my mind and legs taking me in circles. Maybe I had overreacted. Seth certainly thought so.

_He's the next best thing she has, Jake, and you left her there _alone_ with him._

_But I don't even know if she likes me like _that_. Hell, I don't even know if I like _her_ like that…_

_But you care about her._

_Absolutely._

_Then you should check up on her. Make sure he's not putting on the moves._

_Sometimes you're smarter than you should be, kid._

_That's why you keep me around._

I had raced back over to Ren's house, regardless of what my mind was trying to scream at me. It was stupid for me to go back and see them together, but I had to make sure they weren't having a shotgun wedding, or something like that.

The garden was quiet, and my padded footfalls made no sound on the grass. I found Ren's bedroom windows and peered in. Ren and Nahuel were seated on her floor, a board game between them. Well, that was a good start. She frowned down at the tiles, and he watched her, a smug smile on his face.

I wanted to rip that smile off his face. _Calm down_, I told myself.

In my short burst of anger I had pulled away from the window too quickly and my muzzle caught on the plants that were in the window box. Rustling, the plants righted themselves, but not before I had taken off. I glanced back when I was a safe distance away and saw Edward going back to the door, catching it before it had closed in the first place. Bella looked out through the living room window, the book she had been reading abandoned on the chair by the fireplace. Seth caught up with me at what used to be the boundary line, back when the original treaty had been in place.

_That was good!_ He said cheerfully.

_Define 'good' Seth. _I replied miserably.

_At least they weren't having sex or getting married._

I snorted.

_You just have to keep a lookout, that's all. Before long that Nahuel guy will be gone._

_I don't know…it might not be a good idea._

_Of _course_ it's a good idea. It's a great idea! You got to keep your head in the game, man._

_Sure, sure._

After I had slept for a few hours, I showered, put on a shirt and some cut off shorts and headed over to the Cullens' place again. This time I took my bike instead of phasing. It seemed more normal, somehow. I don't know. Like I was a human, not some crazed lunatic who could transform into a wolf at will. Or whatever.

Blondie came out of the house as soon as she heard my bike.

"You want me to take a look at that, dog? It sounds like it's choking on something." She said it was a malicious sneer on her face, so I knew she wasn't trying to be nice.

"Must be choking on your stink, Blondie," I snapped.

Blondie rolled her eyes and drifted back towards the house. I followed her.

"Funny." She said stiffly, and disappeared.

"Is that you, Jacob?" A voice called from the right.

I walked through the doorway into their sparkling kitchen. What little sun there was came through the windows, and Esme sparkled a bit as she stood by the sink, rinsing her hands.

"Hi, Esme," I said with a smile.

"Hello, dear. Are you hungry? I'm just mixing up a cake sample for Renesmee, and you can join in on the fun."

"That sounds exciting. Cake for what?" I asked, my mind flashing back to the shotgun wedding idea.

"Her birthday, of course! It's very exciting. She's going to be a quarter of a century." Esme's eyes got misty with what would have been tears if she was a human.

"Yea, it's a pretty big thing, I guess."

She came over and stood opposite the counter from me. "She should be here in just a minute. I told her the first flavor was done."

I took a seat at the counter and drummed my fingers on it.

"You had quite the exit last night," She said idly, moving on to washing dishes.

"Um," was all I said.

"You had poor Renesmee all in a tizzy," She added.

The look on her face was stern. Now I felt like an idiot for running out last night.

"Um, well, I didn't know," I ran a hand through my hair. It was getting long; I would have to cut it soon.

"You should have stayed," She informed me.

I sighed. "Yea, I know."

Her face softened and she smiled at me. "Being young is such a tremendous thing," she said.

"You know I'm turning forty soon, right?"

She laughed at me.

Just then Renesmee stepped into the kitchen. She looked a mess. Her braid was coming loose everywhere, and her face looked pale and drawn. The shirt she was wearing was three times her size, and the sweatpants were faded in patches and stained. She looked beautiful to me, though.

When she saw me her mouth disappeared into a thin hard line, and her look was accusing and angry. She marched over and smacked my arm. _Hard._

"Ow," I said, rubbing my smarting skin where she has slapped it.

"Don't you speak to me! Do you have _any_ idea what you put me through last night! Do you? Because you acted like a petulant child who didn't want to meet the new kid in town. Your little exit was completely unnecessary, and it had me worried sick; until I got angry over it, and then I wanted you to jump in a lake! But you just ran out of there like you were going crazy on the inside,"

"I was," I muttered.

"and you didn't stop when I ran after you! Do you know that I couldn't sleep a wink last night because I was worrying about you? And now I feel horrible, and you look just fine, and I realize that I could have slept instead of staying up and I'm _angry._" She finished, stamping her foot and bursting into tears.

"I'm sorry for running out last night, and I'm sorry I didn't let you sleep," My lips quirked at that last bit.

She wiped her eyes and shook her head at my expression.

"Doesn't cut it," she said.

"And you seem to be crying a lot, lately," I added.

She glared.

"It's not because you're PMS-ing, is it?"

"_No. _Why do boys always assume that!" She complained.

I shrugged. She showed no signs of relenting.

"Are you pregnant?" I asked her.

"_NO!_"

" Good. Because that would be awkward."

"Why, Jacob?"

"Why would it be awkward?"

Renesmee just stared at me.

"Because I would have to hunt the guy down and make sure to scare him witless by turning into a giant wolf in front of his eyes, landing him in a padded room and a tight jacket for the rest of his life."

She arched an eyebrow and continued to stare.

"Are you sufficiently bewildered enough to not be angry at me?"

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Because I could go on forever, you know," I hinted.

"You're impossible, Jake," She said.

I got up and went over to her, pulling her into a hug.

"I know," I said into her hair.

The whir of the blender broke the short silence. I looked over and saw Esme whipping up a frosting, a smile on her face.

Ren walked over to where Esme was now frosting a cake. She worked with quick efficiency, and the end result could have come out of the trendiest cake boutique in the world. I'm sure it tasted amazing, too. As if reading my mind Esme produced two cut crystal plates and silver forks. This would have been ridiculous in any other home, but I knew that these things were the "everyday" place settings for the Cullens. Their "special" plates were almost entirely gold.

Ren hopped up onto the stool beside me and Esme presented us with slices of cake.

"Triple chocolate with passion fruit icing."

The afternoon wore on with Ren and I filling up with cake. We tried about thirty flavor combinations and drank three jugs of milk before Ren put her hand up.

"I just _might_ be sick if I try another slice," she said apologetically at Esme.

I patted my stomach, "I'm going to need a break if we go on," I put in.

Esme laughed and shooed us out while she prepared the last dozen or so combinations her mind had thought up.

We wandered out into the living room and she turned on the television. As she flicked to a show she wanted to watch (something about a home renovation), I realized something.

"Where's the half-blood?" I asked, wondering why I hadn't run into him yet.

She frowned, "Well, I'm here, but if you mean Nahuel he's off hunting."

I didn't say anything as she plopped down beside me. She leaned back and rested her head on the couch.

"You smell like vampire," I said disapprovingly, but I didn't shift away.

"And you smell like wolf," she said, not missing a beat.

"No but you _really_ smell like vampire."

She shrugged. "I guess it's from hanging around Nahuel and my parents."

We watched the show for a while before Renesmee jumped up and smiled down at me.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Oh…kay?" I said, looking at her strangely.

We headed out the front door and down her driveway. When we had reached the road she headed Left, toward Forks. I fell into step beside her. She stopped suddenly, leaning against a tree. I stopped too, confused.

"You're my best friend, Jake, you know that right?" She began, staring at the road.

"Wow. That's so funny, because you're mine too!" I said mockingly.

She gave me a tight smile and then scrunched her eyebrows together, like she did when she was uncomfortable or really thinking about something.

"Can I tell you something?" She began. It wasn't really a question.

Dread crept up in me. Once she assessed my facial expression she continued, obviously thinking there was no danger.

"Nahuel sort of…asked to court me, last night. It was right after you left."

I swore. Seth had been right, it hadn't been a good idea to leave them alone.

"What did you say?" I asked her, once my knowledge of profanities began to run out.

"I…well, I didn't tell him anything concrete Jake, but… I…I realized that I like Nahuel a bit more than a 'friendship' stage, you know?" She fiddled with a stray lock of hair.

Hearing it was like a punch in my gut.

"I'm…happy for you," I forced out between clenched teeth.

_It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, you're her best friend. You _should_ be happy for her…_

Even when I repeated it, I couldn't make myself believe it.

"Are you?" she asked quietly.

I nodded and exhaled. "No, I get it. I do. It's just…yes. I'm happy for you."

She looked at me, an unreadable expression in her eyes. I looked away after a second, trying to stop the storm of emotions trying to gain control.

"Also, I need a ride to Charlie's house. I promised him I'd visit," She said after a while, somewhat guiltily.

I laughed, relieved to have an outlet for the tension in my chest.

"I'm game," I said.

She looked surprised, and then she smiled. "Good."

"Now, do we really have to walk all the way to Forks, or can we take my bike to say hi to Charlie?" I asked her, swallowing hard.

"Only if I wear a helmet," She replied.

And with that, we headed back to the house.

* * *

_~Although Ren technically doesn't need a helmet, her dad (as we all know) is always over-protective. Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

I liked my grandfather's house. It was small, certainly smaller than our house, but it was warm and cozy on the inside. The kitchen was comfortably placed down the little hallway and to the right, and it looked into the living room on the left side of the house. Windows let you see the forest on the other side of the road, and a little patch of spruce trees grew in the yard beyond the windows on the side wall. Alice had repainted the walls a cream color a few weeks ago, claiming it would make the space feel larger, and she was right. It made the room a little lighter, and the sofa was extremely comfortable. It was nice place to nap when I was visiting.

At the moment Jacob and Charlie were discussing highlights of a game I had not watched. Live games held my interest, but I could not stand to watch a TV screen for that amount of time. I usually just heard about games through my uncles. I lounged on the sofa, trying to fight sleep. A car drove by on the road. Another one followed it, and then the engine cut off. I leapt up and went to the window to investigate.

Esme was walking up the driveway, huge sunglasses and a scarf shielding her from view. Alice followed behind, similarly covered. They didn't want to neighbors seeing who they were. They walked quickly, each balancing several white boxes. I ran to the door and opened it before they could ring.

"You, my dear, walked out of our cake-tasting session. When you didn't return after an hour I decided to bring the cake to you," Esme said when she saw me.

I gasped, a hand flying to my mouth. "I'm sorry! I completely forgot."

"That's all right."

We moved to the kitchen, and after they had placed all the boxes on the counters (which obviously held the abandoned cake) they greeted Charlie.

"Esme! Alice! What a nice surprise," Grandpa said, delighted.

"We brought lots of extras for you, so don't worry about these two eating everything," Esme said, looking meaningfully at Jacob and me.

"I still don't get why you had to track us down to eat cake," Jacob said. His eyes glanced around the kitchen to all the white boxes.

"Because I need to start preparing, Jacob. We'll have over two hundred people arriving at our house this week to celebrate Renesmee's birthday, and I need to make enough."

"Do all of those people even eat cake?" He asked, with one eyebrow raised.

Esme hesitated, "Well, most of them will not. But a good hundred or so probably will, just because of their curious nature or to fool the humans who will be attending the party."

"It sound more like an event, with all of those people," Charlie added.

"It's just two hundred of our closest friends, Charlie, not to worry," Alice chirped.

We all laughed. Then Jake got serious.

"They won't hurt anyone, will they?"

"All of them attending understand the situation."

He nodded, and Esme turned to the cake.

"Charlie, you can help us. So far the three favorites are Triple chocolate coconut, Pink velvet with white chocolate cream cheese and Blueberry with raspberry mousse."

"Wow, are you ordered it from somewhere special? These are quite a lot of samples for a Forks bakery," Charlie looked around, impressed.

"Not our bakery, Charlie," Alice reminded him.

He chuckled nervously and sat, folding his hands on the old wooden tabletop. I sighed and sat down next to him. It was slightly straining, to always shy away from the topic of vampires and werewolves, especially since we all physically don't age and we didn't feel the need to hide our skills and abilities around him. Those were just some glaring facts Charlie happily seemed to ignore.

When were halfway through tasting the dozen cake combinations we had left behind (which had managed to turn into two dozen because Esme had just _had _to bake the combinations she had come across and thought of before they had packed the car to find us) the doorbell rang. It had begun to drizzle and Charlie got up quickly (well, for a human) and went to let the visitor inside. Esme, Alice, Jacob and I hid in the laundry room.

"Wow, Charlie, when did you decide to open a bakery?" a female voice asked teasingly.

Jacob sighed in relief and turned his head to us. "It's Sue," he explained.

"She knows?" Alice asked.

He nodded, and then turned the handle and stepped out into the kitchen again. Sue froze and looked at him in surprise. We all filed out behind him and stood, waiting.

"I didn't realize I was interrupting a party," she said, and laughed again.

Esme and Alice relaxed and began serving everyone slices of cake and glasses of water, since we had exhausted Charlie's milk supply and they couldn't run out to get some. I appraised Sue as we all sat around the living room and ate (the kitchen was too small to hold all of us). She looked older since I last saw her, obviously, but she looked happier too. Her face was smoother and she didn't look as tired or wary. She looked _happy_, like life was going how it was supposed to go. Her dark hair was longer and she wore a bit of makeup, and she had filled out a little over the years but it suited her just fine. Another plus was that she seemed to thrive in Charlie's company, and he in hers.

"The vanilla with pistachio cream," she announced a while later, after we had finished taste testing.

"No, the cinnamon with coffee," Charlie contradicted.

"You're both wrong, it was the orange with chocolate," Jacob disagreed.

Esme turned to me, exuding happiness. "What was your favorite, Renesmee?" She inquired.

I spread my hands out in front of me, gesturing to all the empty plates. "They were all superb, Nan, I can't decide."

"You have to pick _one_," Alice said, dropping onto the arm of my chair.

My thoughts flickered to one and she grinned.

"You saw," I said.

"I did," she affirmed, "And about time I got these right too, I've been getting accustomed to you for about twenty five years. You've stopped flickering most of the time, so at least I don't have to deal with migraines." Her expression was smug.

"Which one, Ren?" Jacob asked from the other chair.

"German chocolate brownie with vanilla filling and raspberry topping," I told them.

"We didn't have that one here," Charlie said, looking around.

"I know. It was around the fourth one we taste-tested," I explained.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "And you couldn't save us from all the cavities we got from tasting these cakes all day?" He jokingly complained.

I sniffed while the rest of them laughed. "You didn't have to eat them, Jacob."

"Esme would have force-fed me if I'd refused."

We smiled at each other while Esme tried to look abashed.

"Well, at least that's out of the way," She said, clapping her hands.

Everyone began to clean up. When it was all packed away and Esme and Alice had replaced their incognito outfits, I said goodbye to Charlie and Sue. When everyone had waved goodbye, and Jacob sped up at the turn off the street, it began to rain in earnest. At least I had remembered to wear a jacket. The rain slid off the thick vinyl and I tucked my head more firmly into Jacob's shirt, against the spattering of rain in the wind. His scorching heat felt nice in contrast to the cold wind, and I let out a contented little sigh. I could feel the rumble as he chuckled.

* * *

_~Please review :) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The next few days were hectic. Jacob and I didn't see each other at all, but it was a nice break. My mother was right – it was time to spend some quality time with the family and Nahuel. My birthday was fast approaching, and everything had to be set up and coordinated. It was a misty morning when I woke up that Thursday, but I could hear my parents moving around in the living room. I yawned and struggled out of bed, my human side definitely wanting to take advantage of the gravitational pull of sleep. I grabbed the blanket off my bed and wrapped it around myself. Then I navigated toward the front of the house, the milky light making everything look softer than usual.

"You're birthday is only a few weeks away, baby!" My mother said excitedly, scooping me into a hug.

"Hooray!" I said, while my feet lifted nearly a foot off the ground.

She set me down and twirled away over to a box of decorations.

"Alice has me on streamer-stringing duty. I'll see you in a bit when you come out to join us," she paused and added, "You might want to wake Nahuel up, also."

Then she was out the door and gone. I pulled the blanket tighter around myself and went back to my room, which had the advantage of me getting to look decent while letting Nahuel sleep a little longer. We had been on a few dates, but other than those few nights we hadn't been alone much. Jacob seemed to always be around, and my family popped in and out. It was nice to have them around, but I was seriously getting frustrated by the lack of romantic time available. Nahuel, as always, didn't seem to mind. Then again, he had had over a century to perfect his inner peace.

Once I was decent I went over and knocked on his door.

"Nahuel?"

When there was no answer I turned the knob and pushed the door open. The milky light seeped in from the bedrooms, illuminating shapes in the bedroom. It was enough light to see by for a human, and it was more than enough for me. I saw Nahuel sprawled across the bed, sleeping only in a pair of shorts, his black hair messy on the pillow. The comforter half covered him, and I took the opportunity to scrutinize him in a way I wouldn't normally do if he were awake. I looked at the hard muscles of his chest, looking at the intricate tattoo that covered a goodly portion of them. The tattoo also covered most of his left shoulder. I had never studied it in detail, and now I saw that it was done with red and black ink.

Nahuel's eyelids fluttered and he let out a soft snore.

I stifled a giggle as I approached the bed. His eyes opened, and in a flash he had gotten up and pinned me against the closet door. A ferocious snarl ripped from his chest and he bared his teeth aggressively.

"Oh!" I gasped.

Nahuel blinked a few times, and then smiled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was you."

He took his arm away from where it had been pinned across my throat and moved it to my shoulder instead. His face was only a few inches from mine, and I could smell the sweetness of his breath.

"Good Morning," I said a bit breathlessly.

"Good Morning," He answered.

His eyes were golden, like the eyes of a tiger, and his black hair was unkempt in a way that looked like it had been styled for a photo shoot.

"I'm sorry for attacking you like that," He said, his eyes mischievous.

"Well, let's look at the bright side. At least you didn't rip my throat out."

"Mmm. That would have been a tragedy," He said softly, as he leaned in.

He swept my hair away and kissed my neck. I stopped breathing. Nahuel looked up, alarmed.

"Ren? Renesmee?" He asked.

I shook my head and released the breath I had been holding in.

"Um," I said, unable to think of a coherent response.

Nahuel chuckled and put a hand to the side of my face. Then he leaned in and kissed my lips, as gently as was possible. I responded by kissing back, my lips molding to his. My whole body tingled as we pressed closer together. My fingers brushed his bare stomach, and I felt the muscles contract with a thrill. He broke away and pressed his forehead against mine. I let out a little growl and he chuckled, planting kisses teasingly across my face.

"We shouldn't do this here," He whispered in my ear.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because I might not be able to control myself," he told me, and kissed my neck again.

"Then don't," I said impatiently.

He chuckled again, and I felt the vibration.

"I really don't think that would be prudent."

He broke away and set me at arm distance.

"You might be right," I sighed.

I reached out and began tracing the lines of his tattoo.

"From no physical contact to full blown make out. You have an interesting technique."

"Well, you did catch me off guard," He said, slightly apologetic.

"I'm not complaining." I smiled up at him. "We _are_ dating."

"Mm. But I would still prefer to not tempt myself."

"Where did you get the tattoo?" I asked him, curious.

He stopped the motion of my hand with one of his, and gently held it in the air between us before letting it go. I crossed my arms and looked at him. A shadow passed across his face, but a smile replaced it before I could concentrate much on its origin.

"A story for another time."

"I won't forget, you know."

"I trust you won't. I'll join you in a minute, alright? We should help your family set up for you party."

"Hmph. Okay," I said as I stepped out of the room.

I contented myself with walking down the hallway to the living room. I idly picked up a book and flipped through the pages. I wasn't hungry today, or thirsty, so I sat down and decided to play nice and wait for Nahuel. My hand cupped my neck where he had kissed it, and I smiled to myself.

* * *

_~The plot thickens. ;) I can just hear you crying out in indignation. Please review. I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The cold water helped clear my senses more than having Renesmee leave the room had. I closed my eyes tight and pressed my fingers against them until I could no longer bear the pressure. Wiping my face dry, I rubbed vigorously, and proceeded to fold the dark blue towel perfectly. I placed it back on the towel rack. My reflection mocked me from the mirror, and my tattoo seemed especially malicious in the half-light. Sneering, I grabbed a shirt and pulled it over my head, letting it cover the drawing as I yanked it down.

I had very nearly bitten her earlier, when she had startled me into wakefulness. The incident stirred up memories I'd much rather forget about, and I loathed that I had reacted like a half-wild beast.

"Aren't I, thought? I am a half-wild beast, caught between two worlds I will never fully be a part of," I told myself in a low voice.

Once I had realized who she was and where I was, I had repented by showering her with affection. I slammed the comb down, filled with disgust.

"Why can't you just behave?" I asked of my reflection.

I hadn't wanted to be so forward, but Renesmee hadn't seemed to mind. She had seemed to enjoy it. I had, also. My veins had filled with fire, and I had been conscious of the bed behind us during our kisses. Good sense had prevailed, thank God, and I had calmed myself before turning to the self-loathing which possessed me now. I had nearly bitten her! How could I have even thought of it? She was such a beautiful lovely creature, filled with happiness and love. She should be shown the utmost kindness, and taken care of as so many precious jewels.

Sighing, I put a hand over my face. All that mattered was that I loved her. Every time she neared my heart sang with happiness. She was the embodiment of all good things. Thinking of her, my soul lightened and I felt as if I could face her again.

Finishing, I stepped out of the room and walked down the short hallway to the living room. I beheld her sitting on the sofa, a hand cupped around her neck and in the other a book.

"You look lovely," I said.

She smiled and set down the book.

"Let's go decorate!" She said.

I smiled at her expression, and walked over to join her by the couch. I clasped her hand and kissed her lightly on the lips. I thought of nothing but the feeling of her lips pressing on mine until we broke apart.

"I have to say I like this kissing thing," Renesmee said, peeking through her lashes at me.

I laughed, glad at the turn in our relationship.

"I don't know why I was so cautious before, then, seeing as you like it so much," I teased.

"Me either."

She led me out of the cottage and into the main house, where a flurry of activity was happening. Jasper and Emmett were holding two enormous plated pillars upright, while Edward secured them to a wooden beam in the ceiling. Rosalie and Esme were stringing flowers through mesh, and Alice was shouting directions from the middle of the living room. Bella was flitting between the outside and the inside, stringing streamers of pink and gold per Alice's instructions.

"No, Bella, a little higher! And have them drape more! They're supposed to look like their hanging effortlessly, not like some person hung them while having a seizure." Then Alice turned her attention to the columns. "Emmett! That pillar is not straight! Tilt it just a bit….there. That's perfect."

Emmett rolled his eyes. Jasper shook his head.

"Rose, a little more roses. Esme, those look lovely. Just make sure to keep them looking non-uniform, we don't want them in straight lines…" Alice trailed off as she caught sight of us in the doorway.

"Wow," Ren said under her breath.

I squeezed her hand.

"You two! You're not supposed to be here! El! Get her out of here! Go! Go go go!" Alice shooed us out the door.

"Alice, we've come to help," I told her over my shoulder.

She stopped pushing and considered. After a moment she nodded and began leading us back into the house. She held my forearm, and Renesmee trailed after us, with my dragging her along by the hand.

"Right. You can stay, but I want _you_," she said, pointing at Renesmee with a severe sort of look, "to stay out. OUT. You are not allowed to set one _hair_ into the house until the party."

"What? That's so unfair Aunt Alice. My party is _weeks_ away!" Renesmee protested.

"Only two."

"Don't worry, sweet lady, I will be your liaison," I reassured her.

Alice beamed at me and then turned to Ren. "You see? You're fine. Now shoo! I need you to take fantastic pictures of the area."

With that, she pushed a camera into my hands and all but kicked us out the door. I chuckled as Ren turned to look incredulously at me.

"I knew she was pushy, but that was kind of intense."

"I can hear you!" Alice called from the middle of the room, to which she has returned.

"Come, let us depart." I offered Ren my arm and we walked down the stairs to the carpet of grass which surrounded the house.

Before she could protest, I snatched up the camera and took a picture of her.

"Hey!" she said, reaching for the camera.

I took a few steps away and took another photograph.

"Nahuel," she whined.

"You look positively ravishing," I told her, using the high shutter speed to take a dozen more pictures.

Renesmee rolled her eyes before skipping toward the forest.

"Alice said to take pictures of the surrounding areas, not of me."

I took one last photograph before following her under the dense boughs of leafy trees. The forest here was different from the ones of my homeland. The trees were thicker in the trunk, and the leaves often had sharper edges. Renesmee turned around and smiled at me, reaching out her hand. I smiled in response and took her hand. She loved being surrounded by these trees.

We spent the afternoon exploring and taking pictures. When it came to midday we happened across a stream with rocks scattered across it to a beautiful open space between the trees. Renesmee immediately skipped across the rocks and ran to the center of the glade, twirling around whilst looking up at the sky. Or what she could see of it. The area above was still densely populated with branches their leaves, colored jade from the sunlight streaming thought them.

I followed her at a more sedate pace, measuring my step across each rocky surface and finally coming to the small expanse of green. I crossed over to her and sat cross legged – she had, meanwhile, lain down between the brilliant stems and was contemplating the leafy web of patterns above. I followed her gaze and saw the play of light on green, on bark, the white stuff of clouds teasingly playing with open blue sky. My gaze retraced itself and rested on her face. Upturned and so full of joy! She was beautiful in her wonderings.

She turned her head to look at me, her eyes rivaling the beautiful green of the woods. She smiled, the dimples slowly showing themselves. Her hand reached out and patted the green by her head.

"Lay down, Nahuel," she told me.

I obliged. What else could I do? She was like a wood nymph commanding me – everything she said I must obey. I leaned back and settled among the grass and the smells of the earth overpowered everything else. Renesmee's hand sought mine. Her fingers entered the cave of my palm and I closed my hand around them. Her warmth and the mix of shade and sunlight made me feel truly peacefully for the first time since the morning.

"This is nice," I said, resting the camera on my stomach.

"Mmmmm," Ren responded.

Chuckling, I looked over at her. The lavender lids of her eyes were closed and she was wriggling with such slight motions that a human couldn't have noticed. I turned to my side and propped my arm up to support my head. My other hand replaced the one that had been holding hers.

"You are so connected to everything about you."

Renesmee laughed and turned to face me. Her eyes once again focused on mine.

"Do you think so?" she asked, amused.

Her brilliance left me at a loss for words. She waited patiently for my answer, her eyes never letting mine go.

"I do indeed," I finally responded.

"But not you," she murmured, a crease appearing between her brows.

"If you are not, then why does my soul lift at the very sight of you?" I asked, running my thumb along her wrist.

"But I don't know about you, Nahuel. I don't know what's defined you. I only know the basic story of your past."

Her words had a perhaps rather adverse effect than what she had intended. I drew away from her, resuming the sitting position I had held before obliging her.

"Why do you hide it?" she whispered.

Her hand found my shoulder, and suddenly she was kneeling beside me. Her hands tried to reach for mine again, but my own held firm around the camera. After a few seconds she sunk back and waited.

I opened my eyes slowly, breathing in and out in the practiced way of meditation. My eyes followed the running water in front of us.

"I am a monster, Renesmee," I whispered fiercely.

"No,"

"Yes, yes, I am. I am an abominable being – a creature of the darkest depths of hell," I said clearly.

"No! Stop doing that to yourself! You are a wonderful man who showed me how to be a part of two worlds."

I laughed bitterly.

"Me? Me, who is more creature than human, taught you – a being who is more angel than all? No, you taught me," I raised my hand to stay her tongue and turned to face her, placing the camera beside me, "You taught me how to love, Renesmee. When you entered my life you taught me to see the joy in life again. You taught me how to appreciate living."

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes.

"Renesmee,"

"Nahuel," she countered.

She stood up and hopped. "I hate it when people do the whole 'woe is me' gag. It's not attractive, it's not funny, it's not positive and _it doesn't help_. You need to start loving yourself."

I could hear the challenge in her voice, but I stayed where I was.

"Would you like to hear my history?" I said quietly into the silence.

She stayed standing, and then sunk to her knees. She held my chin with her hand until I looked into her eyes. Carefully, oh so carefully and with a great deal of effort, I didn't let the pain and devastation of my past seep into my eyes in that gaze.

"Yes, I would," she said.

* * *

_~Please review :) Stay tuned for updates! I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"My history started the day I was born– It started then to turn into my past, at the same time as my present and my future," I began.

_Blood. I tasted the sweet compelling flavor of blood. I turned and saw flesh, freshly ripped open and raw, seeping blood. Mindlessly, I gazed at it. Hands gripped me, and I squirmed, squealing, trying to get away. New hands gripped me, and these ones were cold and shaking. I quieted as a face drew near, warm brown eyes filled with tears. She smiled and kissed me, saying something, and then I smelled the blood again and saw the blood on her. Instinct overpowered me. I wanted to taste that blood again. I bit her. I bit her and drank the sweet blood from her veins. She was my own mother, and I drained her of life._

_Huilen dragged me off of her and tried to compel me to stop. She wanted to kill me like I had killed her sister. She was disgusted by me and she tried to bind my arms and legs to throw me into a fire. I attacked her, too, but she flung me away before I could drink her blood. She crawled away under a bush to die._

_During the next days I attacked anything that smelled appealing. I fed off my mother's corpse, random passerby, and whatever animal that carried the sweet smell of hot blood. I was ruthless – without a mentor. A few days passed and I found Huilen. At first she rejected me and tried to kill herself. I watched as she failed time after time. She prayed for a day and night after that, moving nothing but her lips._

_Eventually she either tired of me shadowing her or felt guilty for neglecting the child her sister had so loved and died for, or a combination thereof, and she started to care for me. We tried other sources to satisfy our thirst. I honestly do not remember the first time I tried eating fruits of the jungle, but I do remember that Huilen tried to live off of them solely for a time. I believe I tried them out of curiosity, but eventually grew to eating them occasionally._

_Still, the smell of blood always drove me mad with thirst. It took me the better part of two decades to stop attacking instantaneously. Huilen helped me and taught me language, songs, art, history. She taught me to listen and think, she taught me religion and she taught me to pray. I think that was her biggest concern, to teach me that there is something bigger out there than us, we who had nothing to fear._

_It was around the end of that second decade that my father first ran across my path. He was in the area, looking for new victims of his false affection. He already had with him the first of my sisters, fully grown. Both of our clans were closing in on one village, but they approached the village first. I paused, watching, never before having encountered anyone like us before. I did not know yet who he was, or what he would persuade me to do. All I knew is that I had never before encountered another of my kind from the outside world. They were efficient, wooing the chief's daughter with their beauty and false promises. My father made love to her that night. They stole others to kill and satisfy their thirst. I told Huilen what I had seen. She was furious with rage. She wanted to tear into my father with her new-found strength. She had guessed who he was, and she wanted revenge._

_We found and confronted my father, Huilen filled with rage, my father filled with amazement._

"_I thought the child would have perished with her," he murmured, looking to my sister._

_She simply shook her head and looked at me. Her look was guarded, but her pose was on the verge of attack._

"_She died because of you," Huilen spat at him._

"_I'm truly sorry," He replied, his red eyes glinting._

"_Save your regrets – they have no use for me. I want you to die," my aunt replied, crouching._

"_Wait," I told her._

_She looked at me with rage._

"_Why impregnate them? What is the purpose?" I asked my father._

"_My boy," Huilen hissed when he said this. "There are many evils in the world out there. I am trying to build a family, a family that can control those evils and keep them in check. Join me, and we can help the world."_

_His answer intrigued me. Huilen saw through it and cautioned me against him, but what he proposed had too great a lure on my young ego._

"_We can feast when we want, and all the world will bow down to us. You are venomous, your sister is not. You may pick whomever you wish to be your bride. No one can stop us."_

"_But God. What you are proposing is the work of Satan. Be gone! Nahuel, let me murder the one whom killed your mother. For her sake, let his evil be gone from the world," Huilen begged me._

"_No. No, let him be. Do you not preach peace and acceptance, aunt?"_

"_He killed your mother, my sister," she hissed at me._

"_I killed my mother."_

"_He created you."_

_Needless to say, Huilen and I had a falling out. I traveled with my father, seducing woman for him and feasting without heed. We decimated entire villages, slaughtering hundreds in a day. He impregnated a few woman and more of my sisters were born. _

I broke off, then, as I realized Renesmee was sitting too still, staring at me with wide eyes.

"I need not go on, if 'tis too much for you." I rubbed my thumb across her cheek.

She flinched.

I drew my hand back with lightning speed and in two seconds was across the stream on the opposite bank. She continued to sit, staring into empty space. After a seemingly endless moment she roused herself.

"No. I want to hear how it turns out. You went back to Huilen, obviously…" she trailed off.

She turned her face and found me on the opposite bank.

"Come back and finish."

I ground my teeth together and returned to the glade. This time I sat farther away from her. Stealing myself, I continued.

_I had a brother, too. He was born a years after I had joined my father. I did not see the destruction I was inflicting. We traveled across the continent, sure of our power, as over-confident as young gods. My father encouraged that in me._

_It was me who caught that woman's attention. She was young, she was naïve. Her family was afraid for her, but I was an irresistible lure. After days I introduced her to my father – he was too magnificent for her. She thought we were angels. Days passed by until she finally became pregnant. My father left her to find another, and my sister and I watched, always hidden, as she withered away fighting to keep her child alive inside her. She drank blood, she ate human meat. Her family cast her out as a demon and she became ferocious – it was incredible to watch the lengths she went to for that child. And then the baby was born. I watched as it ripped her apart. I watched as it drank her blood and killed her. That baby, which she risked so much for, it destroyed her. It reminded me of how I destroyed my own mother._

_It irked me, but I allowed my sister to take it back to my father. She made me carry it the whole way. Both of us were venomous while she was not. She would not risk being bitten. Her allure to men was that she could pass as human – if it accidentally bit her she could no longer participate as closely, as she would lose what little humanity she had._

_My father and I raised him. Kerak, he was called. My sisters crooned over him, and we taught him to hunt. He was barely two years old when my father sent the both of us out to a village that had killed one of our sisters. He was angry and ordered us to destroy any sign of life in that village. We laughed, confident in ourselves._

_Kerak and I set out towards the village, silent and deadly. We arrived and began tearing down huts, drinking our fill. Warriors came out and tried to stop us but they were no match for our supernatural abilities. We killed the chief, the villagers, and all their families. The chief's daughter and wife we saved for last. The mother tried to run. Kerak cut her down, immune to her pleas. I stalked into the hut where the chief's daughter was hiding. My veins were filled with bloodlust. My brain was in a frenzy._

_The light was murky inside the hut, but I could smell her. Surprisingly, I could not detect that tang of fear that the prey usually gives off when faced with death. I paused, unsure, alert for a threat. I could hear Kerak tearing her mother apart just outside, but inside I could hear only a faint muttering. There she was, in the corner of the hut, on her knees. In her hands she held a stone, and words poured out of her mouth. It was then that I realized she was praying._

_In my head I could hear Huilen, and as she finished her prayers and turned to face me, all I could see in her eyes was pity._

"_You poor man, God surely has punished you," she said to me._

_I was shocked. Never before had one of my victims thought of me as degradingly._

"_He has made you a demon, repent, and you might still be saved."_

_I don't know what I would have answered her, but my mouth opened as if to say something. It was then that Kerak chose to join us. He appeared in the doorway, and seeing her still alive, turned to me._

"_Finish her! What are you waiting for?" _

_The girl could not understand us, as we spoke a different dialect, but she understood his meaning. She bowed her head and spread her hands, inviting death._

_Kerak looked at me eagerly. I stepped toward the girl, but did not go to attack. My hand rested lightly on her head, and then I turned to face my brother. _

"_Come, let us go."_

"_What! Leave her alive?" He hissed at me. His eyes were filled with hunger._

"_Yes. She is protected by God."_

_Kerak scoffed. "God? There is no one more powerful than us! Come, brother, and let us finish this !"_

"_No."_

_He was angry. He tried to lunge around me, but he was yet unskilled in the technique of the fight. I ripped him to pieces – I had to defend the human girl. We rolled outside the hut, flattening the wall in the process. Kerak snapped at me but I held on. I twisted his head in between my arms. I dismembered him in the middle of the carnage we had left in that village. He was felled just like the humans. Both of us were covered in their blood. I was suddenly filled with revulsion._

_I left them all on a fire to burn. As I left I saw the girl, alive, silently reviewing the wreckage of her village._

"_Where will you go?" I asked her._

"_Wherever God takes me."_

_After that I left my father's clan and returned to Huilen. She was overjoyed to see me, but I felt guilty. Hundreds died because of me. I had killed my own brother. I had killed my mother. When I returned to Huilen I still drank human blood, but never as much as I had when I had been with my father._

_It was nearly fifty years of living like a demon before I experimented with human food. I found it distasteful, but tried to eat it more regularly, as I found it alleviated my suffering. My father was never kind to me or my sisters, and he found it useful to keep us under his thumb. A few years after my return one of my sisters sought me out. She told me of my father's rage and cruelty when he learned of what I had done. She desired to live with me and Huilen, but left a decade after to live with a human man she fell in love with. I do not know what became of her._

"So now you know the demon that I am." I finished, sneering.

"And your tattoo?" Renesmee asked of me.

"I got it in the time of living with my father. Kerak and I had similar designs made."

"What did you use for ink? They didn't have tattoo shops…"

I stared at her.

"What?"

"Do you have no thoughts of what could make it?" I pulled my shirt off so she could see the red and black of the design.

She stared at it, confusion spreading across her face. Then, at once, a horrified expression crossed her face.

"We mixed the blood with our own venom so it would stay and keep the color in the design. The black was made from their ashes."

"Humans…" her voice was faint.

I nodded. She stared at me in horror.

"It was to commemorate our kills. Like a warrior would keep the skulls of their enemies," I said mockingly.

She began to shake, and then to cry.

"So you see there is no hope for me. I am a demon of my own making, and I will forever be. This is my mark in life – it reminds me of the true beast I am."

"But you repented."

"I began drinking animal blood, and eating human food. I pray for my forgiveness every day. But what does that mean? It does nothing to wash the blood from my hands."

"You regret it. That's proof that you're not a demon."

I smiled at her. "Even when you hear someone is a murderer you try to make them better than they are. That is what makes you an angel, Renesmee. You are surely blessed, you above all else."

She shook her head ferociously and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"You are not that same person."

I opened my mouth to respond but she leaned forward to put a hand to either side of my face.

"Listen! You repented, you pray for those souls every day! You hate your father and what he made you do,"

"He didn't force my hand,"

"Shut up! You are a wonderful person. You make me happy. You don't kill humans anymore. I forgive you, and I'm sure He does too! You've changed since then, you know better. When you go someplace new you learn their language and their culture and you celebrate it. You help people. You're so much different since then."

"Am I? Am I really? This morning, when you startled me, I almost killed you. I almost bit into your neck and stopped your heart. I am venomous, Renesmee, never forget that. I'm like a cobra – I can kill you with the tiniest of scratches. I am still a beast inside, no matter how tame I seem."

"You couldn't have killed me."

"I would have stopped your heart."

"That's not the same as killing me. My parents' hearts don't beat, but they still live. They're alive and they love each other."

I laughed bitterly. "Your definition of living is different than mine is, apparently."

"You don't think they're alive?"

"No, they are, but my definition of killing you means to alter you from the way you were born."

She frowned at me.

"You think you're a demon. Maybe you were, but you're not now."

"I am. Try to understand that!"

She took one of her hands and placed it across my chest, directly on the marking I so hated. I tried to detain her hand but she glared at me.

"I forgive you. Why can't you forgive yourself?"

"You're too forgiving." I told her.

She smiled sadly. "I know you as you are now. Maybe your past has helped make you who you are, but it does not define you."

I remained silent.

"You're like a fallen angel." She said.

I shook my head and reached for my shirt. She held me by the wrist and looked into my eyes.

"You poor man," she said, "you cannot see that God has saved you. You had fallen, and repented, and He raised you back up."

Her words mirrored those of the native woman, which she had obviously intended. It reached my heart and made a desperate hope bloom. Maybe He had forgiven me, maybe He had saved me from the demon I had been. He led me to Renesmee, hadn't He? He let me save her life with the presence of mine own, that day Alice had led me into the field. I had given my father to them as sacrifice.

I kissed her. She kissed me back, and the hope blossomed into a certainty.

* * *

_~Thank you for all of your reviews! Don't worry, there's still a lot more that has to happen. Please leave reviews and comments :) I apologize for any mistakes. Cheers!~_


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21_  
_**

_Finally. Time to go and catch up with Ren. _It had been days since we'd seen each other, and it felt weird spending so much time apart. I got up from my chair excitedly and walked out the door of my office. All the work had been dealt with and I had some free time on my hands.

"I'm out, Ronny. Call me if there's something that comes up."

"Sure thing, Boss," Ronny called back.

I hopped on my bike and headed toward the Cullens' house. The sun was shining and the air was nice. Ren's birthday was only a couple of weeks away, so I wanted to see what I could do to help. I pulled into their house and went up to the front door. To my surprise, the door was locked, and all the window shutters were drawn. Panic built up a little in my chest.

_They couldn't have taken off just like that. It was be too cruel…even for Edward._

My jaw locked as I sped down the steps and made my way around the side of the house. I relaxed a little when I got to the back porch. After that initial scare I decided to just stand and watch until I calmed down. There was sure to be enough stress as it was, especially with Alice organizing the party.

Bella was hanging lanterns from the eaves of the porch, and just then Ren came around the corner with a string of lights in hand. It was only a moment before my smile soured, because Nahuel appeared right behind her, the rest of the lights coiled on his arm.

"Should we do the columns?" I heard her ask.

"Whatever you desire, my love," I heard him respond.

_Uhg. Could he get more sappy?_ I sneered at him.

Renesmee, though, apparently like his answer because she laughed and handed him back the lights in her hand. She kicked off her shoes and took the hand he offered to help her step up onto the porch railing.

"Okay! Hand it up!" she said cheerily.

Nahuel handed her the plug-end of the lights, which she plugged into an outlet in the ceiling (Jeez, they had everything, didn't they?) and began to wind the lights along the length of the column. Nahuel helped her down from the rail and proceeded to finish the column.

"You know, we call these fairy-lights, because we say that fairies string them," Nahuel told her as he wound.

"Does that make me a fairy?" Renesmee laughed.

He nodded and leaned down to kiss her.

_Oh hell no._

Together, they wound the rest of the lights around the railing. Renesmee bent down and Nahuel bent with her, their hands overlapping and both of them looking happy. When they were done Renesmee hopped up on the railing and the Amazon freak stood in front of her, and their arms were all over the other while they chatted. I looked to see what Bella thought of this, but she was gone. Apparently she had disappeared while I was watching the lovebirds.

My eyes wandered back over to them, and I found them stringing more lights along the stairways. I couldn't understand why they were stinging more lights, because there were strands that were already draped along every available space. Well, if they wanted a high electric bill let them have one. I rolled my eyes as I watched them work. Why was everyone so freakishly fast?

The sun was starting to fade, and all of a sudden the 'fairy lights' popped on. Renesmee's face lit up and she clapped her hands with glee. Nahuel laughed, and Edward and Bella joined them on the porch from the living room's sliding door. As I watched Renesmee's face I was suddenly filled with a desire to see her like that all the time. I wanted to make her happy and be the source of her happiness.

I suddenly realized that I was determined to marry her, and no bloodsucking leech could stand in the way; even a half human one.

Apparently, Edward chose that moment to listen to my thoughts. His eyes snapped over to where I leaning against the tree, and he did _not_ look happy. Two seconds later he was in my face and snarling.

My hands instinctively wrapped around his arms to hold him back, and a growl worked its way out of my throat. The sapling behind me broke under the added stress of our bodies, and it groaned as it fell backwards and leaned against its brothers.

"Careful there, bloodsucker," I warned him.

"Don't speak to me like that, wolf," He snarled.

Both of us were locked, neither wanting to relent.

"You shouldn't listen to things if you don't want to hear them."

"You shouldn't even be _thinking of it_."

Bella had made her way down to where we were, with Ren and her boyfriend close behind.

"What's going on?" Bella asked.

"Later," Edward told her.

"There you go again, keeping things from her. Ren's her daughter too." I sneered.

Bella looked back and forth at us and sighed. "At least stop the strangle hold around each other, please," she said wearily.

We broke apart rather reluctantly.

"Let's speak alone, then," Bella said.

"Not until I've said hi to Ren properly," I said stubbornly.

Nahuel and Edward rolled their eyes. I stepped around Bella and ignored Nahuel, focusing instead on the object of my thoughts.

"Hi, Ren," I said, wrapping my arms around her and burying my head in her hair.

God, she smelled good.

"Hi Jake!" she was so happy to see me.

"It's been a long time. What's been shakin' bacon?" I asked as we pulled away.

"Did you seriously just ask me that?" she asked.

"Did he seriously just call you bacon?" Nahuel muttered under his breath.

I glared at him and then shrugged at Renesmee good naturedly.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Jake. We need to catch up."

Nahuel wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I think the catching up needs to wait. Edward and Bella are anxious to speak with you, wolf-man," He said.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious, I think I figured that out myself."

"Jake," Renesmee said reprovingly.

I stuck my tongue out at her and she pulled a face at me. I waved as I followed Bella and Edward into the trees, while Nahuel led Renesmee in the opposite direction.

"So, what was that display of masculinity all about?" Bella said with acid in her voice.

"Oh, nothing," I said.

"He wants to marry Renesmee," Edward said flatly. His back faced me.

Bella stood in the middle of us, stunned.

"He…what? Jacob?" She asked.

"Your shock is quite encouraging," I said dryly.

"This is why I wanted to leave. I knew it would happen. Do you want our daughter to be tied down like this? What can he offer her? He can't provide for her properly," Edward was telling Bella rapidly.

"Hey. Hey! That's not true. I can provide for her quite well, actually. I have my own business. I'm doing really well even though this economy is sucking. And what, like I'm so unappealing? Bella fell for me."

If she were still human, Bella would've blushed.

"Both of you, hush! Renesmee can choose who she wants for herself, but…" she looked at me uncertainly.

"What?" I said, immediately on the defensive.

"Well, you're imprinting might…mix things up."

"Really. How?"

"It's not natural, Jacob."

"Ren's fine with it."

Edward looked like he was going to attack me again.

"I'm just saying that we've talked about it before."

"Really." Bella said, skeptical.

"Yes. And she knows it's a part of who I am and she's fine with it."

"Okay, then, I guess, we'll just see how it goes."

Edward lost his cool, then.

"What? Has something made you temporarily insane, Bella?"

"Edward,"

"No. This is unacceptable. It's unnatural and it's warped. It goes against nature. Love like ours I understand, but forced love? That's not right. It bends the very nature of reality!"

"Edward, please. It's common in their history…"

"Who's history? Not ours. And they said it wasn't so common a thing to happen."

"Edward," I tried.

"Jacob don't-" Bella said.

"No. I have to say this. I know it's been pretty messed up in the past. I know that you've hated my guts. But I love her. I really do. I don't care if you think it's forced, as long as I know it's not, that's all that matters. I can make her happy, and I can provide a nice life for her; Maybe not as extravagant as you're all accustomed to, but enough to have a good life. I can live as long as she wants me around. I love her, Edward, and nothing can stop me from being in her life. Hell, she _is_ my life. When you left I went crazy not having her around. I'm determined to not have that happen again. I'm going to be in her life one way or another, and I'd prefer to have it as her significant other."

He had turned and was looking at me while I made my little speech. When I was done he just stood there for a minute, and then nodded.

"I can see there's no talking reason into either of you. If he does something I don't like, it's over," he said.

Bella stayed around as he stalked off.

"Jacob," she said, giving me a look.

"What, Bells?"

"Don't ruin this for her. Nahuel is of the same stuff as her, and they're happy. And after this morning, they seem closer. Just please – don't force her to choose. It tore me apart when I had to do it, and I know it'll be ten times harder for her. So please, Jake, just don't ruin it. No matter how it turns out. Promise me."

"I promise, Bells," my voice was thick.

She nodded, and patted my shoulder as she followed Edward back toward the house.

* * *

_~Here we go, kiddies. Time to buckle up. Please review! I love to hear feedback. I apologize for any mistakes. Hope you're enjoying it. Cheers!~_


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

The weeks in Forks passed quickly. Jacob had fun things to do every day, when I wasn't with my family or Nahuel, or he wasn't dealing with work or patrols. My favorite thing to do ever since he'd shown me was cliff diving. Even when the weather turned colder, I insisted that we go cliff jumping at least once every week. Sometimes the pack joined us, and other times, like today, we were alone.

I looked down at the choppy grey water, white caps frothing and bubbling on its surface. The waves slammed hard and fast against the cliff base, turning it a dark blue color – almost black. My toes looked white against the tan sand at the cliff edge, and I curled them over the side. The wetsuit I wore was soaked already from previous dives, but the cold wind against it hardly bothered me. I stuck one foot out into the empty air, feeling the wind push against it. Then I set it back down and leapt forward.

Cold water slapped against my face as I entered the salty water. The cold pushed against me but I ignored it. Instead, I delved deeper under the water, not breathing. That was a convenient feature I had inherited from the vampire side of my DNA, and I used it to my advantage. I pushed against the bright green kelp that I found, swirling it around and causing the bright colored fish to come out of hiding. I followed some for a time, and then swam back to the bay that cliffs created. Jacob was treading water close to shore. I circled him from the back, careful not to give myself away.

Over the past two months Jacob had become my ultimate friend. I video conference with my friends from around the world, and kept in touch through social networking, but it was different from having them right here with me. My werewolf was someone I could call spontaneously and do something with, or nothing with. I grinned, and reached forward to grab one of his legs. I yanked and he splashed down under the surface with a decent amount of surprise. He recovered quickly, though, and retaliated by kicking out of my vice grip and locking my arms in one of his hands. I struggled, but _dang_ he was strong. It _really_ wasn't fair that I was so petite. I tried kicking him instead, but he locked those between his arm and torso. We broke the surface of the ocean. He shook the water off of his face and I inhaled for the first time in half an hour.

I glared. He still hadn't let go of me. He grinned.

"Let me go."

"You were the one who attacked me for no good reason."

I hissed.

"That doesn't have quite the same effect when you look like a cat caught in the rain."

"I'll make a note," I sniffed.

"Oh don't be such a sour lemon."

"Then let go of me!"

Instead of doing what I told him to do he kicked us toward shore and slung me over his shoulder.

"This is so undignified!" I yelled.

He didn't say anything, just carried me over to a bunch of logs around a fire pit.

"Do you promise to behave?" He asked me.

"Just let me down!"

He shook his head and set me down onto the multicolored pebbles that made up the shore, keeping one hand locked tight around my wrists. Then he leaned down and struck a match to light the teepee of wood we had set up earlier. Flames licked up the sides, green and blue, and Jacob threw the match in. Then he turned to me pulled me down onto a log. The bag he had set down when we arrived was beside him – he must have gotten it from the car while I was diving. He wrapped two oversized towels around me and then one around himself.

"Are you ever going to give me my hands back?" I asked him, eyes watching the fire. His warmth and the warmth from the fire felt good to my chilled skin. I shivered.

"You cold?" Jacob asked me, scooting closer and pulling me onto his lap.

I snuggled into him, glad of his insane temperature. A small part of my mind set off a little warning bell, which I chose to ignore. This was _Jacob_ – he only had my best interests at heart. Suddenly a memory flashed into my mind. I had been near a fire for that too, and someone had scooped me up and cradled me against his chest, similarly to this. Memories of Nahuel flashed through my mind, and I realized why my mind had been trying to warn me. I broke the memories apart quickly. That was when I realized Jacob had gone unnaturally still, like a statue. I looked up at his face and saw it was hard as stone.

_Crap_. I had unintentionally shared my reverie with him. I panicked a little when I felt a faint tremor roll across his skin.

"Jacob." I sprang up from his lap, letting the towels fall to the ground.

He shook his head and got up too, jumping over the log and walking quickly towards a nearby tree. He stood there, trying to calm himself. All of a sudden I realized that he shouldn't be this upset. If he really would be anything for me, like he kept reminding me and my parents, then he shouldn't be this upset. But he was. He was…he was acting like he was…like he was jealous. My mind stuttered over the sentence. The concept was shocking to me, but I felt the certainty in it.

_Wow. For a girl who knows people, I sure missed the obvious on this one._

I stared at Jacob's broad back, wishing I could go over and hug him. But that was impossible, unless I wanted to convey the wrong message. Or was it the wrong message? I frowned, trying to decipher the jumble of thoughts and feelings scattering my attention.

"I can't stand it," Jacob said to me.

I looked up to see him facing me, still by the tree. There was pain in his eyes.

"Can't stand what?" I asked innocently.

He glared, his hands clenched into fists. "This..._fling_."

I winced.

"Do you realize how much this sucks for me? First with your mom, and then I found you and I thought everything would be okay, and then they take you away. Now that you're finally back I have to constantly dodge these bullets about this Amazon freak! History just loves to repeat itself in my tiny messed up universe. I promised you I would always be what you needed, and I'll stick to that, believe me, but I'm a person too, Ren, and I _love_ you. I love you in a way that makes me think of marrying you, and having kids, and everything else. I've tried to squash it so many times over the past weeks, but you always do something that makes me fall for you all over again."

His rant had made him angrier. He turned to the rock outcropping and punched it, _hard_, and it shuddered with the impact. A fracture line appeared.

"You're certainly the jealous type," I said, finally, unable to think of something proper to say.

"I've waited _twenty three horrible years _for you while you were off having a _life._ I could have provided you a life, here, but your stupid _bloodsucking parents_ took you away. Do you know what that did to me? How I nearly lost my mind? You were, you _are_, my whole life. I couldn't…I couldn't function. I couldn't tell which was north or south or what year it was. I didn't want to eat or sleep or think until I found you. So excuse me if I have a bit of temper management issues right now!"

I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand and sinking down to the pebbled shore. In an attempt to understand Jacob's point entirely I had pushed against his mind, hoping to find tenors of the memories that drove him to this point. Instead, his anger had unleashed his memories and feelings on me unchecked, and I buckled under the intensity. His devastation coursed through me, and I started to cry. This anguish was the most horrible feeling I had ever experienced, anger and bitterness and frustration and hopelessness rolling up into it. A strange gagging noise came from my throat, and hot tears flowed down over my face. It was hard to breath, so I curled up into myself and wrapped my arms around my knees.

Jacob was suddenly there, wrapping his arms around me. He was trembling, but this time I didn't care if he phased right here or not. I sobbed in his arms, waiting for the pain to leave me. Once I could at least move a little I turned and held Jacob tightly.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you like that. That was…" I couldn't find a word to describe it.

"It wasn't your fault. I would have tried to control myself better if I knew you would fall completely apart." He said in a husky voice.

I pulled away a little, holding onto his arms. His cheeks were wet, and I realized he had been shaking because he had been crying, too.

"No, I, I didn't do that because you were yelling. I _saw_ what you had experienced all those years. That…emptiness but anguish and devastation all at once." I shuddered again.

"You can do that?"

"It's the newest part of my ability. I'm still not very good."

He pulled me into him again and kissed the top of my head. We stayed like that for a while. Suddenly he shifted away from me and stood. I mimicked his movement. The sun had peeked out from behind the clouds and I found that I was dry, except for what my tears had soaked again.

Jacob was watching me carefully, but guarded. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, and then, determined, he spoke.

"Do you love me?"

I considered. Being with Jacob was amazing. But now I realized that he had always insisted on holding my hand, or hugging me, or maintaining physical contact at least _some_ way while we were together. And I hadn't minded it. In fact, I had enjoyed his close contact more than I should have. I had always told myself that I cared about him as a friend, and I liked his friendship. Now I reconsidered, without that blinding gap in my rational, and realized that I probably liked him a lot more than a girl should like a guy friend.

"I…I think…yes."

"What?" Jacob looked startled, like he hadn't been expecting my answer.

I gave a small smile, and stepped over to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I looked up into his eyes.

"I said 'yes', Jacob Black."

He blinked and then smiled down at me. I stood on my tiptoes, bringing my face closer to his. My heart beat faster, and his did, too, I noted with a smile. Then his warm lips found mine and I lost all ability to think. It was amazing, and perfect – slow and sweet. We parted and I stared at him.

"Wow."

All he could do was grin. I locked my fingers behind his neck and stared at the road behind him, not really seeing it. He was supporting all my weight and I was still on my tip-toes, but neither of us noticed. Slow heat burned from inside me. It felt like I was being warmed from the inside out.

"I think I need to change," I said suddenly.

Jacob laughed and released me, all but my hand. He intertwined our fingers and led me to the car parked several feet away. My wetsuit was boiling hot. I stripped out of it as soon as we reached my car (I had won out the battle and got a sleek but modest Cadillac), revealing my swimsuit. Jacob popped the trunk and I grabbed my shirt and shorts, slipping them on. Yanking a brush through my curls (which had unfortunately tangled hopelessly in the salt water) I watched Jacob, who was leaning against the side of my car watching me. I winked and pulled a little too hard at my hair. The brush cracked in two in my hand.

"Shoot," I muttered.

I grabbed another from my bag. Jacob took it from my hand and smiled.

"Maybe I should do that, yea?" He said.

I grimaced and closed the trunk again after chucking what was left of the previous brush into its depths. Jacob led me back to the fire and sat me down a log. Then he sat behind me and gently brushed my hair. His hands seemed to both massage and caress my head; I felt myself relax. He managed to do the task without snagging any of my hair, and pretty soon he finished. Impressed (and drowsy), I leaned back into him. He put the brush on top of the pile of towels and wrapped his arms around me, folding his hands over mine on my stomach. The sky turned pink and gold and I turned my head to watch. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. Electricity jolted through me.

"I love you," He said in a low voice, and then sighed.

"Hmm?" I let curiosity flow through me.

"It just feels so good to say it out loud."

I could hear the smile in his voice. And something else, like triumph, I think.

* * *

_~Don't bask in glory, yet, Jake. Still more to come! Reviews are wonderful to get, so send me some! ;) Cheers!~_


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

I felt like a guilty wife coming home after being with her lover, which was ridiculous, because Nahuel and I weren't even close to engaged. I closed the door quietly and tiptoed across the dark living room and down the hallway. I was almost to my room when the door to the guest bedroom opened behind me.

"Ren?" Nahuel asked.

"Yep. Hi Nahuel!" I turned, clutching the towel around my swimsuit.

He smiled his gorgeous smile and crossed over to embrace me. My heart sped up while I experienced the dreads of guilt coursing through me.

"What's wrong?"

Damn, the boy missed nothing.

"Nothing!" My overly perky voiced squeaked.

Nahuel looked unsure.

"Did Jacob do something?" He asked, a threat working its way into his voice.

"Ummm…" _you could say that_, "Nope! Everything's fine. I'm going to take a shower."

"Oh. Of course. I'll be out here."

"Sure thing!"

I breezed into my room and shut the door, and then ran to the sanctuary of my bathroom. I felt horrible. Like I was cheating. Which, I supposed, I probably was. I was a horrible person. It would've been doubly horrible if Jacob had accompanied me home, but luckily he got called away to patrol.

The hot water hit my skin and I just stopped thinking. It felt nice to wash the salt water off of me. When I was done I toweled off and put some clean clothes on. Brushing my hair out triggered memories of Jacob and the beach, and I smiled a little.

"Whatcha smiling about?"

I jumped and dropped my brush. Alice was leaning against the doorframe, nonchalantly looking at her nails.

"Jeez, Alice, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"You're hearts fine," she paused, "or is it?"

I rolled my eyes and started brushing, but my heart skipped a beat. Alice cocked her head as she caught the difference and closed the door. She sat down on the toilet after closing the lid and leaned forward.

"Ren." Her voice was stern.

"What, Alice?" I asked wearily. I placed the brush back in the drawer.

"You're happy with Nahuel, right?"

"Of course I am!"

"You've seemed to get closer ever since that day you went out to take pictures," she commented.

"We have."

"Good. I wouldn't want anything distracting you from your happiness, especially with your party right around the corner."

"Right."

"If you have anything you want to talk about…" She looked at me expectantly.

I sighed. There was no way to avoid this.

"Jacob said he loved me, today. He also said he can imagine 'a life' with me, or whatever," I said while looking at the floor.

Something broke in the kitchen.

"Shoot. And that was your favorite mug, too," Alice said.

I looked at her with confusion and then raced out into the kitchen. Nahuel was there, bending to pick up the two halves of a broken mug on the floor. Alice was right, that had been my favorite mug.

"I'm sorry," Nahuel said, subdued.

"It's alright. We'll buy another one," I said, uncertainly.

There was an awkward pause. Nahuel disposed of the ceramic pieces.

"Did you tell him you returned his affection, then?" He asked just as quietly, his back to me.

Alice hovered anxiously in the background.

"Yes," I said in barely a whisper.

Nahuel's shoulders slumped. "I should have expected," he said.

"Nahuel," I started.

"No, it's quite alright. I'll just be back later, then."

And he was gone. The door clicked shut. Alice let out a breath and clucked nervously.

"I'm sorry, Ren, I didn't think he would be able to hear…"

"It's okay; I should've told him when I got home."

I stared at the doorframe dejectedly.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Her cool arm draped across my shoulders.

"No, no I'm not. I should go after him."

"I'm sure he'll be fine."

"No! I need to."

I ran out the door. Luckily his scent trail was still pretty strong. I followed it to the glade where we had talked weeks before, when he told me his past. The water trickled quietly across the rocks, and there was no other sound, but I could see him sitting in the center of the grass, legs folded, arms resting on his knees.

"I'm so sorry, Nahuel," I whispered.

"Don't be." In the light of the moon I could see his lopsided smile. "It's my lot in life."

I shook my head.

"It's tearing me up inside. I hadn't known it was possible to love more than one person."

"It's usually not."

I crossed over to him.

"My birthday party is in a few days," I said.

He stayed silent.

"You'll be there, won't you?" I said, suddenly nervous that he wouldn't be there.

"Of course I will be," his voice was soft, "I still love you, Renesmee."

"Do you?" I was surprised.

He sighed. "You think a love like mine could die that easily? This is just a…difficulty."

"He's just so infectious."

"So I've noticed," Nahuel said drily.

"I'm sorry!" I covered my face with my hands, miserable.

Nahuel laughed. I stared at him, incredulous.

"Renesmee," he said, drawing me into his lap, "I've had over a century of misery, and you've only just made me begin to love. I wouldn't just toss you aside because you feel a small affection for someone whom is closer to your age that announced his feelings for you. I'm prepared to wait and earn your love back."

"You really are amazing," I said, touching his face.

He kissed me then, and I forgot to breathe. It was different from kissing Jacob. With Jacob is felt like kissing a ray of sunshine. Nahuel's lips were cooler, but they molded easily to mine. His breath was sweet, and it was intoxicating. It felt dangerous, but right. I felt guilty for comparing them, and for that reason I kissed Nahuel back harder. He paused at first, a bit surprised, but then returned the eagerness with which I was kissing.

I wriggled out of his lap and faced him, pawing at his shirt. He pulled back, putting a finger to my lips.

"Renesmee," he cautioned.

"What?" I asked him breathily, not opening my eyes.

"I feel…wrong, doing this," he admitted.

I was shocked into opening my eyes. His look was guarded, and he leaned his torso away from me.

"You're very…..intoxicating. And you're feeling guilty. I feel…wrong, doing this now."

"You said you love me."

"I do."

"Then show it."

He shook his head. "Not like this."

"I love you Nahuel!" my eyes rather pathetically filled with tears, "I love you and I feel horrible because you're so loyal and I'm cheating on you and it's not right! I feel absolutely miserable, because it feels so right being with you."

"Then marry me."

I stared at him in surprise. He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. I kept trying to figure out if he was serious or not. Finally, he reached into his pocket and straightened up. He bent one knee and rested on it, finally revealing the box in his hand. A diamond sparkled in the moonlight. My breath caught in my throat.

"Renesmee Cullen, the light of my life, the love of my existence, the one that has taught me how to love again; You have accepted me as I am, and I love everything about you. I've asked your family's blessing and they have given it. I will be faithful to you for all of my days, and I am ready to sacrifice everything for your benefit; just having you near is enough for my very existence. Will you please marry me and make me the happiest man in the history of human existence on earth?"

There were a few moments of silence. I noticed that his heart was beating a bit faster, and the wind ruffled his hair, and that he looked a little nervous. My answer, I was sure, would be the thing that determined if we would ever see each other again. This was my chance to prove that I loved him ultimately, and then there was no turning back. I wasn't sure if I could do it.

The silence stretched out.

"Renesmee?" he asked. His voice shook a little.

He was so vulnerable. I could do that to him. The fact that someone so sure of himself, so much older, could be at my mercy was amazing to me. My mind drank him in, and it showed me how our life could be. I wasn't sure if I could commit to that future, to him alone.

I had another option.

"How long have you been carrying that around?"

It was certainly not the answer he had been expecting. He paused.

"Well, since the day I've arrived, actually."

Since the day he had arrived on our doorstep he had been sure he would be asking me to marry him. He had told me that very day he received my family's blessing for a courtship. Had he asked them for blessings for a marriage to? He had been ready to commit to me for the rest of his existence that very day, and I had had no idea. Could I have that amount of dedication? It would be unfair to him if I couldn't reciprocate back.

He stayed on bended knee, holding out the little box that had a diamond nestled in its center, wrapped in velvet. My heart broke for him, and for me. It broke for us.

"I'll…I'll have to think about it."

He blinked. Then, in a lighting flash the ring was back in his pocket and he was standing.

"Of course. I shouldn't have put you on the spot." He ran a hand through his midnight hair.

"Nahuel," my voice cracked a little, "I just really want to be sure."

"Of course."

"Don't be angry with me."

"I'm not angry."

I looked at him, and he really didn't look angry. He looked chagrinned.

"I'm so sorry," I said.

It seemed like it was the only thing I was going to keep saying to him tonight.

* * *

_~Poor Nahuel. Don't get ready to mob me just yet, lovelies. I have more in store ;) I apologize for any errors in the writing. Cheers!~_


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

The day for Ren's party had arrived. Bloodsuckers and humans had been arriving from all over the world the past week. Sam's pack had been doing their own patrols – so many leeches made them nervous that the truce would be broken. I had grudgingly coordinated with Sam about where their patrols ended and ours began, but so far it's been working out.

Where the Cullen's housed them I had no idea. The humans stayed in a couple of B&Bs and small hotels all along the coast (I'm sure Forks was enjoying the little economy boost), but the vampires – who knew where they were hiding out. That fact, unfortunately, made Sam a little over-excited, and he instructed his boys to keep the reigns tight when it came to dealing with my pack or the Cullens'. I was starting to get irritated with his boys. They didn't have the experience, and the younger one was always stepping over the alpha's feet. It was a disaster. I had to reprimand them a couple of times – something Sam made sure to "talk" with me about as soon as he could.

To top it all off, Quil's wedding was next month and I still hadn't written that stupid speech.

All that could wait, though, because today was all about celebrating Ren. I got to their house in the early morning, even though the party only started about three that afternoon. At the edge of the woods I phased and changed into the shorts tied around my ankle. I stopped, then, and rubbed my face. After a long night of patrols and quarrel or two with Sam and his sons I felt stone tired. A nap for an hour or two was just what I needed, but I'd have to wait it out.

Traveling down through the trees, I got to Ren's house and knocked. Bella opened it and made a face.

"God, Jake, you look so tired."

"Thanks, Bells, nice to see you too."

"Sorry, the party must have you guys all in a tizzy," she said sympathetically.

"In a tizzy? What, Bella, you get transported back in time?"

She just shook her head and waved me into a chair.

"Sam's been pretty nervous about the whole deal, and he's been riding me pretty hard. Especially since his sons are alpha and beta now and they're a bunch of little fools and I've had to step in and he's accusing me of getting out of line."

"That's awful, Jake,"

Bella set down a glass of lemonade in front of me. I guzzled it down and she poured me another.

"You make this yourself?" I asked her.

"Mhmm. I had some free time, so I made a bunch."

"It's really good, Bella. I was always curious how the whole tasting thing worked, though."

I raised an eyebrow as I downed the second glass.

"Well, I can still taste, you know. It's just not that appealing anymore," She answered, toying with a napkin from the holder on the table.

"Ew," I said under my breath.

She started to shred the napkin into strips.

"Well, it's not that bad Jake. We've had this conversation before."

"Sure, sure."

Bella and I had talked, actually, about a number of things since they've been back. It was nice, just talking like friends, almost like she was human again. It just really made me grossed out to think of her as a vampire, even after all these years.

Just then Nahuel decided to bust in on our conversation. He walked in from the hallway, looking like a goody two shoes in a white button down and combed hair. I tried not to think of how different we looked under comparison.

"Good morning, Bella. Good morning, wolf-man," he said.

"'Morning, El," Bella answered.

I grunted.

"Want some breakfast?" Bella asked, all smiles.

"I think I'll take care of it myself, thank you." He replied.

I rubbed a hand over my face and through my hair as the Amazon freak banged around with pots and pans in the kitchen.

"You look bushed, Jake, why don't you take a nap? The other guest bedroom is open."

I nodded.

"Thanks Bells, that sounds great."

She got up and flitted down the hallway to show me the bedroom where I could crash. It unnerved me to see how graceful she was now. I kept expecting her to trip over the carpet.

The room she led me to was all pale and pastels. Soothing, like the interior of the main house.

"Are vampires afraid of color of something?" I said jokingly.

She rolled her eyes.

"I put the clothes you brought over in the top drawer on the right, and the bathroom has shampoo and all that. Towel is on the top of the side table there," She pointed.

"Thanks Bella. You're the best." I hugged her.

"Maybe start with that shower, first, yea?" she said with a wink as she went back down the hall.

I sniffed myself and wrinkled my nose. Glancing at the clock on the wall I saw it was only half past six in the morning. I had been going for thirty two hours on patrol-mode. For most of those I had been in wolf form, and I had to shake out of that type of thinking. A shower would put more of the human in me, so I collected the things necessary and stepped down the hallway to the bathroom.

After that I did feel considerably more like myself, and I fell onto the bed gratefully. My hair was still wet, and I had just dumped my things on the floor, but I didn't care. All I wanted was just a few hours of sleep before dealing with the crush of vampires and dealing with the stress of making sure everyone was following the rules. My eyes closed, and pretty soon I wasn't conscious of anything.

Banging and running footsteps woke me up. Once I was conscious of the noise I vaulted out of bed and went to see what the commotion was.

"You're still in your pajamas! We have to get you dressed! No, Emmet, over there! Jaz, go help him. Edward! You and Bella get yourselves dressed and ready and make sure Ren keeps herself locked away in here until we come get her. I'm off to oversee up there. People are starting to arrive in one hour! Places, people, places!"

I got to the living room just in time to see Alice clap her hands and everyone scatter. Nahuel departed with the rest, and Edward and Bella were busy cleaning up dishes, scraps of paper and more.

"Uh, wow. What time is it?" I yawned.

"Just about noon. Did you sleep well?" Bella asked.

"Yea. The mattress you guys have in there is really slick. You know, for an old back like mine," I cracked.

Edward actually grinned at that one.

"Well, you don't look your age that's for sure," Bella said.

"Or act it," Edward put in.

"Where's Ren?" I asked.

"Probably still sleeping. Nahuel and she were up pretty late, celebrating at midnight."

"Great, well, I'll just get her up."

"No," Edward said.

Bella put a hand on his shoulder and looked at him. He sighed and touched his forehead to hers before waving me away.

I bounded down the hallway to Ren's room and opened the door. The curtains on the windows were drawn shut, just like the ones around her bed. I walked over and peeked around the edge. Her covers were thrown off and tangled around her feet. Her hair was loose and all over her pillow and covering her face, glinting gold in the little light there was. I reached over and shook her foot.

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

Her response was a grunt.

"It's your birthday today, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to miss it."

She turned over and put her head into her pillow.

I sat on the edge of the bed and leaned backward onto her.

"Errrrrmmmmgggggggggghhhhhaa"

"I'm sorry, what was that? You're so comfortable that I spaced for a second there," I said, grinning.

Her hand came up and swatted me. I caught it in one of mine and tickled her palm.

"Wake up sleeping princess!"

She wriggled her hand out of mine and put another pillow on top of her head.

"Come on, don't make me drag you out of bed by your ankles on your birthday."

Ren curled up on her other side, her face firmly tucked under her arm.

"Okay, you asked for it," I warned.

I stood and scooped her up from the bed and walked her to the middle of her room. Her eyes flew open in shock and she swatted at me with her hands.

"Jake!"

"Good morning, birthday girl," I said jovially.

"Good morning," she smiled.

I set her down and kissed her. "Happy Birthday, Ms. Quarter-of-a-century."

"Need you remind me?" she frowned.

I looked at her and brushed a strand of her hair away from her face.

She stepped away.

"I've got to get ready," she said a bit off-handed.

"Right. Okay, well, I'll see you out there."

She smiled and shut the door behind me.

"She's up," I said to Bella when I emerged.

"Great! Thanks, Jake,"

I didn't answer. I was wondering why Ren had acted kind of weird. I sat down on their couch and looked around.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"I don't think so, but if you really want you can go help Alice," Bella replied, finishing the bow on a present.

"After seeing her like that? I don't think so," I said.

"Probably the right choice," she said wryly.

"So, it's a pretty big deal, isn't it?"

"Her birthday? Of course it is."

"Especially this one."

"Especially this one," she confirmed.

She looked over at me again and a look passed over her face.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"It's just…well, you're not wearing that, are you, Jake? I thought you had another set of clothes."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, mom, I'm going to change a little closer to the party."

Bella rolled her eyes back and continued wrapping presents.

"Is this all from you guys?" I asked, incredulous.

"Well, from the family. I was put with present wrapping duty. It's the least strenuous of the jobs."

"Ah, taking the easy way out. So unlike you Bella."

She grinned and set the last present down on the pile beside the table and came to sit by me.

"Bella," I said, "you like me, right?"

She laughed. "Of course I like you Jake; you're one of my best friends."

"Good. Just remember that today."

"Why, what are you up to?"

"Nothing, Bella, don't worry about it."

"You always make me so nervous when big things are about to happen. It's not fair."

"Hey, you're not the only one who's nervous."

A hand flew to her mouth.

"Jacob, you're not…you're not." Her eyes widened.

"Not what?"

She shook her head.

"Your funeral," she said.

* * *

_~The party continues. Find out what's up in the next chapter! Reviews are better than chocolate. :) Cheers!~_


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

So many emotions coursed through me. It had been awkward with Jacob earlier, but I couldn't focus on that now. I had to get ready for my party. Figuring out my crazy feelings would have to wait.

I toweled my wet hair and worked product through it. Then I got to work on my face, then my jewelry. My hair was dry by then, so I started plaiting sections of it, bobby pinning it here and there, adding pieces to it. A knock on my door let me know my mom was there. I turned while sticking a bobby pin into my hair and smiled at her.

"Ready, sweetie?"

"I think so." I took in a deep breath.

"You look gorgeous," she said.

"Thanks, mom. You look gorgeous yourself."

"It's a wonder what Rose can do to a girl in a few hours," she said.

I shook my head. She looked stunning in a purple gown, her hair up in a loose bun. The diamond necklace my father had gotten her hung on her neck. She only wore that for special occasions, and once again the butterflies knocked around in my stomach.

"Gorgeous," I repeated again, and squeezed her hand.

"Let's get you into your dress."

She walked over to the closet and pulled out the garment bag that held my birthday dress. Alice, Rose, my mom and I had picked it out a day a couple months ago, and it had been delivered a few days ago after my final fitting. It was like picking out a wedding dress, but in color.

The fabric slid over my skin, and I sucked in my stomach until I heard the zipper slide up and secure in place. I looked into the mirror and smiled reflexively. The silk and crushed velvet sparkled in deep blues and greens, and the hemline dipped in back to hit the middle of my calves just right, and front fell a few inches above my knees. The neckline plunged but stopped before it got too risqué.

"You're so beautiful," my mom said.

I turned and saw her eyes were misty.

"Oh mom," said, my voice catching.

We embraced and I laughed.

"God, what will we do on my wedding day, if this is already so emotional," I said.

She shook her head and hugged me again.

"Happy Birthday Renesmee," she said.

She turned towards the door as my father walked in.

"Happy Birthday, my precious," he said, before embracing me.

"Doesn't she look gorgeous?" my mom asked him.

"She does."

They both embraced me and I had to blink back tears.

"Ready to go up now?"

"Yes," I answered.

As we walked through the house I discovered that Nahuel and Jacob had both gone up ahead, and I walked arm and arm with my parents the long way around, to the front of the house. The rest of my family was standing on the front porch. When she saw me Alice clapped her hands and skipped forward to meet us.

"Are you excited? Everything looks perfect."

I smiled. She looked enthralling with her hair curled and coiffed, in her silver frothy mini dress. Rose came just beside her in a long draped pale pink number, her long golden hair tumbling over her shoulder. The men were handsome in their cocktail jackets, ties, and slacks.

"I feel like this is a bigger thing than it should be," I told her.

For anyone else what Alice did next would have counted as a snort. As it was, it was as dainty as she was.

Together, we all walked up the front of the stairs, and they pushed me forward through the door.

"Happy Birthday Renesmee!" Everyone shouted as I walked in.

I was taken aback by everything. Columns had been erected in the living room, covered with lights and streamers. Lanterns hung from the beams in the ceiling, more lights and streamers hung from every available railing. Candles were inside glass jars filled with flowers, and they rested along the stairs, along the piano and every other flat surface. Huge pictures that Nahuel had taken were blown up and hung along the walls. Most were, embarrassingly, of me. Home movies played continuously on loop on a giant monitor that had been set up. But most overwhelming was the crush of people who had come to celebrate my birthday. The living room and front entrance were full to bursting, and more people spilled out onto the back porch and down the steps.

I laughed and waved to everyone. "Thank you," I called to everyone.

My family crowded around me and showered me with hugs and kisses. Just inside by the stairs was a giant pink and gold "25" cutout numbers. Alice pulled me over to them and the rest of our family followed. Multiple pictures were snapped, and then I was pushed into the throng that had come to celebrate my birthday.

"Shall I accompany you, m'dear," Nahuel said in my ear, suddenly appearing.

I pecked his cheek and took his arm.

"There is quite a crowd that came out for your magnificence," he commented.

"Well, as you've probably heard, I am quite magnificent," I told him.

"Indeed, and I can attest to that."

He brought my wrist up to kiss it quickly and then re-settled it onto his arm.

Then we turned to all the people who were coming to greet me.

"Renesmee, Happy Birthday dear," A woman said as she kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, Estrella, it means so much for you to come down!"

"Happy Birthday, Renesmee," another person said.

I hugged the handsome vampire and made my way through the crowd.

"Ren!" someone screamed through the crowd.

People parted ways as a blonde barreled past them and threw herself into my arms.

"Happy Birthday you! Oh my God I can't believe it! You look amazing! Happy Birthday Happy Birthday! You're starting to get old!" She screamed.

"Oh my God! Jo! How are you? I can't believe you're here! This is a great surprise!" I screamed back at her.

A redhead made her way at a quieter volume behind Jo, and I hugged her as soon as Jo let me have a little room.

"Anna! I can't believe it! Oh my God!"

"Happy Birthday, Ren!" she said.

I caught Jo eyeing out Nahuel as he waiting patiently by my side. I caught his arm and pulled him closer.

"Nahuel, these are my two best friends from Colorado, Josephine and Anna-lee. From my time over there at university, you remember? Girls, this is Nahuel. He's my best friend-slash-love interest from the Amazon."

Jo gave me a look that said she was suitably impressed, and Anna merely smiled at him and said what a handsome couple we made.

"We are talking later," Jo whispered as they let me continue on.

It took about two hours to greet everyone who came to my party, and I was happy to see that most of the vampires and humans were co-mingling very well. Of course, the werewolves were there, watching, waiting, and keeping the peace. Jake and Seth were in human form, while the rest ran patrols and kept Sam's pack in check. I hugged Jake and Seth, and then it was time to take a rest.

Nahuel guided me over to a chair on the back porch and grabbed two drinks from a passing waiter.

"For you, love," he said, smiling, as he handed over the drink.

"Thank you. Goodness, I'm surprised I can still talk."

The drink thankfully turned out to be a shirley temple, and my relief must have been evident on my face because he smiled.

"I thought it would be slightly early to begin with alcohol."

"I like the way you think."

My eyes roved across the back yard, which had been transformed into a perfect party zone. A huge billowy canopy had been erected over a temporary dance floor, and more canopies added extra outdoor living rooms that had fireplaces and a bar. Music was everywhere, thanks to wi-fi connected speakers and an amazing DJ. I tapped my foot in time to the music as I sipped my drink.

"Care to dance?" Nahuel asked me.

"Sure."

I took his hand and he led me down the stairs and onto the dance floor. We twirled and boogied our way through a multitude of songs. Finally a slow one let us catch our breath, and I leaned comfortably against him. He rocked us back and forth and took us on a slow tour of the dance floor.

"I love you," He whispered in my ear.

I looked up at him and kissed him. "I love you too," I murmured against his lips.

"Then marry me," He whispered back.

I pulled away and looked at him, but someone behind us caught my eye. Jacob had just placed his glass back on the bar and was walking toward us.

* * *

_~So it continues. Please make my day and review! Cheers. ~_


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

"Not now," I whispered fiercely.

Nahuel looked somewhat taken aback but then Jacob was beside us, and he tapped Nahuel on the shoulder.

"Could I cut in?"

"After we've finished this dance," Nahuel told him firmly.

"It's almost done," Jacob said tersely.

"Nahuel," I whispered, looking down at the floor.

His thumb ran across my cheekbone and I looked at him, distressed. Both of them were projecting such intense emotions. As he let go of my hand he kissed me quickly.

"I'll be on the porch if you need me," he said.

Jacob took over smoothly.

"You're impossible," I said to him.

"Gee, thanks."

"You could've waited."

"I probably could've, but I didn't feel like it."

I harrumphed.

"What's the big deal, anyway?" I asked him.

He twirled me and we transitioned into a faster paced song.

"It's your birthday. And, by the way, you look positively irresistible."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

There was a pause as we listened to the music.

"So, what's with breaking my heart?" Jacob asked.

I looked up into his face. "What are you talking about?"

He nodded toward the porch. "He's obviously your escort this evening, and you two are all over each other."

"Oh, Jake," I said, shaking my head.

"It's okay. I'm used to having my heart squashed to pieces."

"Don't," I said firmly.

"Okay."

We continued dancing, but my mood had soured a little. Luckily, my father was coming over.

_Dad save me!_

He smiled a bit and then proceeded to cut in considerably more smoothly than Jacob had succeeded with Nahuel.

I let out a breath as Jacob retreated to another area of the party.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, but I thought you liked Jacob."

"I do. He was just being…difficult. Oh, I don't know what to do."

"Don't do anything. Enjoy your party. Mingle with the people who came to see you."

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"You don't need to do anything, tonight, little one," he said softly.

We twirled and danced effortlessly for a few minutes, and eventually I relaxed again. My mom joined us then and we all danced together, a little family unit a-sway on the dance floor. Someone snapped a bunch of photos of us and then moved on.

Loud feedback cut through the moment.

"Oh, oh dear. Well, hi everyone! Thank you for coming down to this little get-together," scattered laughter and applause, "to celebrate Renesmee's twenty-fifth birthday!"

Loud applause.

"Where is the birthday girl? Can anyone find her?" Alice asked, shielding her eyes from the light and looking around.

"Right here, Alice," I said, and hopped up onto the stage at the far end of the tent.

"Here's the birthday girl!" She handed me the mic.

"Hi everyone. Thank you all so so much for coming down to celebrate my birthday with me. Thank you, Bella, Edward, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Rose, Jasper and Emmett for throwing this amazing party. I can't believe I didn't visit you all earlier." I winked at my parents (or, as the humans were concerned – my cousins) and continued, "It's been an amazing time here, and I just can't thank you enough. So, everyone, make sure to dance, eat, and party on. What goes on in Forks, stays in Forks!"

Everyone applauded as I made my way off the stage. Someone whooped (probably Emmett), and Alice recaptured the mic.

People swarmed me to dance, offer birthday wishes, or just chat. I enjoyed myself immensely, and eventually I made my way over to the buffet tables. Alice had gone all-out and ordered foods from every single place we'd been in the past twenty four years. There was southern home cooking (from when we'd visited Jasper's and her hometowns), food from Edward's, Emmett's, Esme's and Carlisle's. There was food from Brazil, the Caribbean, France, Canada, and from dozens of other countries. It was a taste-test around the world in six minutes. I heaped a plate with food and settled down to munch happily.

I was halfway through before Jo and Anna found me.

"There you are!" Jo exclaimed, sitting down to my right on the couch.

Anna settled in comfortably on the left.

"Girl, we have got to talk. I heard you have two man-toys to play with. I'm jealous," her blue eyes sparkled and she leaned in.

"Can we talk about it later?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure," Anna said. Her red hair gleamed in the light. "You don't look like you've changed a bit," she added.

"Yea, you look the same as you did when you were 19!" Jo said enviously.

"I've been using preservatives," I said jokingly.

We all laughed.

"But seriously, you look fab, girl."

I nodded, sad. This would probably be the last time I would see them in person. My inability to age made keeping human friends impossible after a few years.

"So, tell me about what you girls have been up to!" I said enthusiastically.

While they chatted about who married whom and what kind of jobs they've held, I finished my plate and added little to the conversation.

"Well, it's been absolutely wonderful catching up, but I should probably, um, circulate or something." I smiled apologetically.

"No worries. We probably have to be off anyway. We have a flight to catch in the morning," Anna said.

"We just wanted to come down and surprise you," Jo added.

"Aww. You girls are too sweet. I hope you had fun," I said as I hugged each of them goodbye.

"We did. And make sure to open your present!"

"I will. Have a safe flight, girls. I miss you already," and my eyes watered as I hugged them for the final time.

"Eat some cake for us!" They waved as they walked out the door.

I hugged myself and stood on the threshold for a moment.

"Are you having fun?" Rose appeared at my shoulder.

"Yes," I answered, quickly blinking away the threatening tears.

"You probably won't be able to see them again. Or any of the humans here," she put in.

"I know. So let's party!" I turned to her and linked arms.

She smiled and we walked arm and arm through the crowd. People were playing with sparklers, streamers, and having a good time. Pretty soon Alice popped up in front of us, and she grabbed my arm excitedly.

"Time for cake!" she announced.

We pushed through the crowd and got to the back porch. Procuring a mic seemingly from thin air, Alice proceeded to clear her throat into it until she got the silence she wanted.

"Dear, dear, Ren. A great girl like you needs a great party. And a great party like this needs a great cake! So from us, here, to you, Happy twenty-fifth!"

Everyone began to sing Happy Birthday as an enormous cake was wheeled out the patio doors, and I laughed when I saw it.

"It's like a mountain!" I said to Esme, who hugged me.

"Well, for this many people, what did you expect, a cupcake?" Rose asked me, but she was smiling.

I had to climb on top of a table to blow out the giant candles and sparklers on top of it. Everyone cheered and took pictures. I don't know how they did it, but the mountain of cake was cut and distributed, and I complemented Esme and Alice for pulling it off. It was even better than the sample had been, and I closed my eyes to savor it.

"Did you make a wish?" Jacob asked me, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

I nodded, as my mouth was full of chocolate.

"What did you wish for?" he asked.

I swallowed to answer him. "I can't tell you that. If I do then it won't come true."

He looked at me for a second and then nodded. "That's fair."

Jasper came over then and drew Jacob away. After that everything moved in a blur. So many people were crowded around everywhere; there was always just enough room to keep away the claustrophobia, but not enough to make you super-comfortable. Eventually the humans started to head for home, and I realized with a shock that it was almost midnight. The vampires followed suit, and I stood at the door while people filed past, giving me final farewell wishes.

A few people stayed behind to talk with Carlisle and Esme, and Alice paid the DJ, and finally it was quiet.

I sighed and plopped down onto a chair in the living room, dazed and happy. It was two in the morning, and the last guest had just left. Esme and Bella were packing the food away, Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle were cleaning up, and I had no idea where the others were. I wandered over to the piano and played a tune idly, staring at the giant pile of presents just a few feet away.

"Wow," I said out loud absentmindedly.

"Wow is right," said a voice.

I turned and saw Jacob standing in the middle of the living room, a tiny wrapped box in his hand.

"Hi, Jake." I realized I hadn't seen him since the cake.

"So, now that we have a few minutes, do you want to open your present?" he asked, grinning.

"Sure."

I bounced over to him and plucked the box from his hand.

Something shifted on the porch, and I shifted my eyesight to catch the movement. Seth, Leah, Quil and Embry were standing casually against the railing, apparently talking. I looked back at Jacob.

"Did they enjoy the party?" I asked, working the bow out of the piece of ribbon.

"What? Oh," he looked over his shoulder when I gestured, "I guess so, yeah. We rotated so people weren't stuck on patrols the whole time."

"Except Leah," I clarified.

"Except Leah," he confirmed, "Do you need some help unwrapping your present?"

His smile was obvious, but there was a hint of anxiety that I picked up on. I looked at him, and let the ribbon fall to the ground.

"Is it going to bite me or something?" I joked.

I looked back down at the present and ripped off the paper. A velvet box rested between my fingers, and I opened it, curious. Jewelry was expensive, and although Jacob did well he could hardly afford to buy me something for an occasion as simple as my birthday.

A ring stared up at me. The diamond was set in a classic gold band, simple and elegant.

"Jacob," I gasped.

He took the box from my hand and bent down on one knee.

"Ren, I know you know how I feel, and I know you feel that back. I can see our life together. It's right there, and we can start it. I can't spoil you rotten like your family can, but you'll always have everything you need, and I'll give you everything you want. I've always loved you, and I always will love you. If you tell me to capture the stars, I'll try. Marry me, and let's be happy together."

His face was so earnest, but he was so sure that I'd answer him. I just couldn't handle it. The pressure of Nahuel's proposal hanging over my head, and everyone's expectations, and now this proposal immediately after the party was the bubble that burst the dam to my emotional cache. I closed my eyes tight and bit my lip.

"Ren?" He was standing, rubbing my arms. "Hey, hey, it's okay."

"Just stop. Jake, please just," I inhaled "just please let me have a little space."

"So, will you say yes already?"

"Just give me a minute!" It wasn't really a yell, but it was a little more high pitched and hysterical than my normal voice.

An enraged growl filled the room and a loud _smack_ made me open my eyes. Nahuel was there, pushing against Jacob. My dad followed half a second later, trying to break them apart. Leah charged through the doors to defend Jacob, as did Embry and Quil. Seth followed behind them. Emmet and Jasper held onto Nahuel and Jacob, respectively. Alice, Esme and Carlisle stood in-between the pack and the rest of us, and my mom and Rose stood in front of me protectively. There was a lot of growling and shouting going on.

"Stop," I said.

Everyone turned to look at me, except for Leah.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with two fingers and slowly inhaled and exhaled.

"I want to thank you all for a lovely party."

Everyone waited for what I would say next. Even Leah was paying attention now. They evidently thought I'd lost a few marbles.

"Could everyone just relax, now, please?"

Slowly, like pouring molasses, everyone straightened into more relaxed postures. My mother did not, however, lower her shield around me. Nahuel started toward me but I held up my hand. He nodded and instead shifted again to keep Jacob in his sights.

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" Jacob asked.

He took a step toward me, and Rose hissed.

"Rose." Carlisle reprimanded her.

She narrowed her eyes but didn't shift back.

"All I did was ask her to marry me!" Now he was getting angry.

"That's. The. Problem." Rose hissed at him.

"Rose," I begged, tilting my head back.

"What is going on?!"

"I've asked for her hand in marriage, as well," Nahuel spoke in the pause that followed.

"Damn it. Are you for real?"

"I believe he's quite real," Edward said drily.

Nahuel and Jacob glared at each other.

"I need to think, for a while," I said.

"Of course," Nahuel said, nodding.

"Take as much time as you need," Jacob added.

"Mom, Dad, Rose, can you come with me?" I asked.

The three of them nodded and fell into formation around me, and we made our way down to the cottage.

"I can't take it anymore," I said as soon as they closed the door.

My hands came up to cover my face and my shoulders shook with the sob I was holding in.

"Honey, oh, honey, it's okay," my mom said, holding me to her.

"It'll all be fine, Ren, don't worry," Rose said as she rubbed my back.

"I'll murder them both," my dad said.

"Edward!" my mother hissed.

There was no reply.

"I need to get away." A plan was beginning to form in my head, and it was too appealing to just let it go.

All of them were silent as they listened for more. I ran down the hallway to my room and lunged into my closet. Thankfully, my luggage was within easy reach. I grabbed a giant travel bag and a hard-cased roller carry-on and threw them onto the floor. There was a soft rush of wind, and when I returned from my closet Rose and my mom were on my bed, and my dad occupied the doorway.

"I'm going to go away for a while, and think about things."

I grabbed handfuls of clothing from my closet and threw them haphazardly into my roller bag. My necessities were next. I grabbed the tiny travel vials I kept on my counter and threw them into a divider bag and then into the carry-on. Into my tote went electronics, a book, sunglasses, and more odds and ends.

"Take this," my dad said, holding out a charge-card cell phone.

I grabbed it and shoved it into an outer pocket.

"Don't forget a jacket," my mom said.

I dove into the closet, stripped, and put on warmer clothes. Onto my feet went my favorite pair of boater sneakers. I grabbed my never-fail black poncho jacket and zipped out the door. Rose had already grabbed my luggage and was gone.

"She's getting the car," my dad said.

"I'll let you all know where I am once I get there," I said.

"We have the apartment in L.A.," my mom said.

We raced up the pathway to the garage.

"Or the one in New York," my dad added.

I kissed them goodbye.

"I'll let you know. I love you!" I called before they shut the door.

Rose had the car in reverse before the door had completely closed. I hurried to put on my seatbelt and she gunned it.

"Don't worry, we'll have everything sorted out. You don't have to marry them. You can marry whoever you want," Rose told me fiercely.

"Thank you, Rose," I said.

I could feel her memories of her first engagement pushing against my consciousness. I ignored it and focused instead on the lights flashing by, too-fast. The rest of the ride I stared out the window. When we got to the airport I hopped out and got my carry-ons.

"Thanks, Aunt Rose."

"My pleasure. Have a safe trip. Call us as soon as you get there."

"Right. Love you."

"I love you more, Ren," she said tenderly. She touched my face and then disappeared into the car again.

I turned quickly and hurried to the V.I.P desk. The lady looked up at me pleasantly, like she wasn't surprised that a young haggard-looking woman wanted to take a flight at three in the morning with just two carry-on bags.

"Where would you like to go, Ms. Cullen?" she asked me cheerily.

I stared blankly at her, trying to make up my mind.

* * *

_~ Where will she go? Who will she pick? You'll have to wait and see. Reviews make me upload faster. ;) Cheers!~_


	28. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

I jumped up from the couch as soon as I heard the tires. Emmett was there, blocking my path, holding me back.

"Just, calm down," he said.

I growled at him. "She's leaving!"

"No, Rose is just going to get some more trash bags."

The bloodsucking leech didn't even blink. He just looked at me with those amber colored eyes, all innocent.

"Bullshit."

A wave of heat flooded my skin, and Emmett narrowed his eyes.

Jasper took over then, grabbing my arm and getting me back on the couch. My body calmed down even though my mind raged against his abnormal power.

"Damn it _I don't want to be calm_."

Bella was there then, by my side, trying to be soothing.

"Jake, just calm down. I'll explain it all if you stop trying to rip apart our couch and just relax with Jasper."

I seethed.

She waited. Edward wasn't as emotionless. He smirked at me from his spot leaning against the banister.

Eventually, I worked myself into a calmer state. Nahuel, I noticed with irritation, didn't seem angry, just concerned.

"Is Renesmee alright?" he asked.

"What do you think, freak? She ran out on us and completely avoided the issues at hand." I spat the words at him.

"Jake!" Bella snapped at me.

I sunk back against the couch and folded my arms across my chest. Leah and Quil had disappeared, but now they came panting through the porch door.

"Sorry, Jake," Quil said, gasping, "We lost them."

"That bitch can drive fast," Leah added. Her breathing was slightly more controlled.

She glared angrily at the assembled vampires.

"Why the hell would you let her just run off like that?" I asked. This time I kept my anger more in check.

"Because she needs space, Jacob," Edward said.

Bella sighed. "You remember how tortured and confused I was, hmm? She feels that and then some. She got nervous, and frustrated, and she just couldn't handle it anymore. She needs time, and space. Away from the both of you." She looked at Nahuel and me.

"It's frustrating and disappointing, to be sure. But methinks the time away will do us all good, especially letting Renesmee to make a clear decision with a clear head," Nahuel said archaically.

I snorted.

"I had enough of 'alone time' while you were off gallivanting in the forest with her."

"Gallivanting?" He asked, incredulous.

My glare was enough confirmation of the point. He smiled at me.

"_I_ was teaching her how to survive."

"What's there to know about survival? I'm sure Edward and Bella told her all she needed to know."

He frowned. "They had not much experience in the Amazon, I think."

"What is with all these 'thinks' in your sentences? Don't you know how to talk?"

"Speak."

"What?"

"How to _speak_, not _talk._ Haven't you learned the proper structure of language?"

This guy was getting on my nerves.

Blondie was snickering into her palm. Wait.

"When did you get back?" I asked her.

"A few minutes ago. I got more trash bags, everyone." She held up a handful of black plastic gleefully.

"Wow, congrats. Want a gold medal?" I asked sarcastically.

Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed a few from the leech. "Thanks, Rose."

Everyone started to clean up again. Apparently no one cared if I was still raging.

"Aren't you pissed?" I asked the Amazon freak, who was still on the couch.

"I'm annoyed, yes, but I don't blame her."

"I don't blame her either, I just don't want to be away from her."

He chuckled.

He obviously had some mental defect.

"What's so funny?"

"You. You let your emotions control you so easily. Your desire to be with her does nothing for the point at hand."

I shook my head and left the conversation at that. After a minute of silence he shrugged and disappeared.

Now was my chance. I turned to the door, but a cool hand caught my elbow.

"No, Jake," Bella said. Her gold eyes looked like steel.

"Bella," I said testily.

"You're not going after her."

"She's my _life_. Jeez! Don't you understand that? I thought you of all people. But then again, I have no idea if you even feel anything at all now that you're not human. Do you remember how being apart from Edward ripped you open? Like you couldn't breathe, couldn't move? I felt like that the first time you took her away from me, and I'm _not going to feel it again._"

I could feel the tremor of heat trying to break out and I ground my teeth as I beat it back. Now was not the time to lose control.

"She _needs_ this Jake. Put aside your selfish feelings for once and try to see _that_! She needs to be separated from you _and Nahuel_ right now. It's not like she's choosing sides. She just needs _space._"

I flinched.

"Wow, Bella."

"No, don't you 'wow, Bella' me, mister. You need to step aside and let Ren think this through on her own."

I definitely did not like what they had transformed Bella into. I ripped my arm away from her with a little effort (so weird) and then stalked out the door. I leaned against the railing and rested my head on my arms. Little waves of pain radiated out of me.

_She didn't say _no. _Not in so many words. Well, just the one really. But she didn't say yes._

That cut me through. That she paused, that she felt overwhelmed, that she couldn't just say yes to me but had to think about it. That my life would have to think about having me in her life was unbearable. It should've been a snap decision. It should've been instantaneous.

"That little freak just _had_ to mess it all up, didn't he," I said under my breath.

I glared at the tents down below, which Edward and Carlisle were deconstructing in rapid succession.

"You okay, man?" Quil knocked my arm.

"No."

He nodded. "Yea, I get it," he paused "Then why aren't you after her yet?"

"I don't even know where she went. She could be anywhere."

He sighed. Embry joined us.

"Who did she talk with most at the party?"

I thought about it, but my frustrated over-tired mind wouldn't let me think.

"I don't know!" My hands worked at the wood of the railing.

"Don't break it," Blondie said disdainfully as she walked by.

I sighed and let go of the railing. My chest hurt, and the wolf inside me was tearing against my willpower.

"I need to run," I said, and started down the steps.

Halfway down I gave up and just jumped to the ground over the railing. I rolled and tore across the grass to the trees. Embry and Quil were half a step behind me.

"Leah, take perimeter. Seth you stay here and watch them." I ordered as I got ready to phase.

Then I was off, tearing into the soil with my claws. Quil and Embry ran behind me in formation. Thoughts raced back and forth in my mind, the party was like a bad eighties re-run in my head that wouldn't stop playing. I concentrated on running, and nothing but the rush of wind and the smells and sounds of the forest around me. Quil and Embry mercifully kept quiet, but I could feel their concern and anger at the Cullens underneath the general stillness.

Eventually I slowed down to a trot. Pieces of the party were sharpened while my subconscious tried to work it out. I sat down by the edge a rock jutting out from the earth. Quil sat beside me and Embry climbed to the top of the exposed surface.

_Didn't she talk to those two human girls for a while?_

_Yea, she said she went to college with them._

We reviewed our memories from the different perspectives.

_Who was that blonde chick with the accent?_

_Vampire._

_Yea, but what was her accent?_

We thought about it.

_Australian._

_Really?_

_I thought it was New Zealand-er-ish._

_No, definitely Australian._

They didn't argue with me further.

_But that doesn't mean she lives there._

_No._

We sat there in frustrated silence.

_Let's just get their addresses._

_Right, like the Cullens would ever hand those over willingly._

_Stupid bloodsuckers._

_Bella would probably help us._

There was a pause as her steely gold eyes flashed into our consciousness.

_Or not._

_Edward?_

He was the easiest target, given his ability to read minds and therefore feel what the victim of his tricks was feeling.

_The others wouldn't let him._

_Wait. Ren probably didn't take her phone._

_The addresses would be in there._

_Or at least their phone numbers._

_The area codes would give us a location._

_Google maps will do the rest._

We took off in the direction of their little cottage.

No one was around when we got there, so we phased and entered through the front door. Embry took the front entrance while Quil made his way around back. I jogged into Renesmee's room and paused as a slice of pain went through me.

It was a mess. Things were thrown everywhere, her drawers weren't shut properly. I immediately noticed that her computer was gone, and an empty iPad case was on the table. Her camera was still charging, but her phone wasn't in its holder.

"Crap."

I kicked a pile of clothes and a thud met my ears. As far as I knew, a pair of jeans didn't weigh five pounds. I got down on my knees and searched until I found her phone, which had made the noise when it had fallen to the floor. Sifting through her contacts, I was thankful that she hadn't had a lock on it, and that all of her contacts had their pictures next to their respective names. I located the three possibilities and wrote down their numbers. As I was scrolling from one to the next I noticed that "House" had five entries.

"House, Brazil. House, Forks. House, L.A. House, New York. House, Isle Esme," I muttered as I read them. "Are you for real?"

How many houses did one stinking vampire clan need? I wrote down all the numbers anyway, just in case. As I left I didn't bother putting anything back. It was a mess anyway, and they would be able to get my scent when they came back here.

* * *

_~Thank you for reviewing! You are the best readers. Cheers!~_


	29. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

I pounded my forehead against the rough bark. The tree above me shuddered, but held. I bit my lip as I choked back a sob. It was like a piece of me was missing. The wolf-man had looked at me with such disgust whilst we were sitting on the couch, like I didn't have the right to love her if I could not miss her; but I did miss her, oh so terribly did I miss her. I felt rejected and put aside. I love her more than she dares to love me. I don't know whether that is accounted for by age or by the society, but it was surely fact. She could not, would not, tie herself to me in such a binding way until she could feel it herself, as sure as the sun shone at noon.

_I miss her so much._

It was I who drove her away. I felt sure of it. It was my forward pursuit of her hand that made her take flight so quickly. It was my display of agitation against the wolf that made her flee. She felt choked and afraid – she wouldn't even let me draw closer to her for comfort. She'd kept me further than arm's length.

My despair rocked through me, and I clenched my teeth against these fresh currents of pain. It was like my soul was ripped in new places, and part of my identity had been ripped away.

"Gah," I gasped.

My hands dug into the tree for support as I leaned forward with the pain that consumed me. Cracking noises were coming from the tree, but I couldn't loosen my fingers. Leaves fell from above me. My eyes misted and I blinked it away.

"_Men do not cry, Gods do not cry. We are made perfect, and nothing can harm us."_ My father's voice accosted me from the past. My pain turned to anger.

_Leave me alone! Leave me alone to revel in my pain! I am a damnable creature and must take my lot._

"_We are Gods, Nahuel, Gods among men. Nothing can touch us. Nothing can hurt us."_

_Our emotions. Our emotions, and our feelings. They can touch us._

"_Resist your emotions. You must give in to your instincts. Your instincts are what make you glorious, Nahuel. They are what make us invincible. No-one can stand in the way of us and our instinct."_

_They make us into beasts. They turn us into abominable beings._

"_No. They let others gaze upon us with envy. What you are now – that is what is abominable. You are a wretched, poor, pitiful creature as you are now. Why? Because you did not follow your instincts. She would be yours if you had just taken her."_

_No! No! She would be like me – a horrible damned being if I had bitten her._

"_You could've made her yours, right then, in an instant. That's what sets us apart. We can take what we want, and all others must give us what we desire."_

_Like thieves._

"_No, like cunning kings. We are Kings! We rule the world, and everything we see is ours."_

_Everything we see is God's alone, and we are demons in his kingdom._

"_You think we are demons? Nay. You think there is a God? Fool's words - I tell you! God is created out of spinner's tales for the weak of heart. There is no God. If there was why hasn't he smote us dead? We are taking and using his power – the power that is rightfully ours! – and using it to our benefit. Why, then, hasn't he taken vengeance on us?"_

_We are demons, we are beasts, and we are the scum of the earth. We have blood on our hands! Even though we wash them the blood never leaves. It has dried on our limbs and made us turn black with sin!_

"_You are weak. You were always weak. That is why you suffer. Your feelings torment you like the weak man you are. You are not worthy to be a God! Turn yourself into the fire, you wretched man, and leave this earth."_

_Satan! Huilen warned me against you, but yet you persist to torment in my mind. I am cursed because of what you had me do, and now it has chased away the one true happiness I have had in my existence._

I ran more deeply into the surroundings to lessen the anguish I felt. Renesmee would have reproached me for such behavior, but I couldn't stop myself. Thinking of her made my pain worse, and so I ran faster and longer than I would have. My father's torments went round and round in my head without cease. I gave up on my arguments and instead just gave in to the pain and anguish that wracked my soul.

Eventually my misery made me pause. I fell to my knees and looked up at the sky. Wherever she was, Renesmee was looking up at the very same sky. Was it blue where she was? Or black night? The sky was beginning to lighten here, it must be almost to dawn. Exhaustion pulled at me. The enormity of my feelings had put my body to a test. I decided to also make my way back to the Cullens, I must not upset them over-much.

My steps made no noise through the underbrush as I made my way back, and as I walked I tried to put an end to the current of my thoughts. I stopped at the edge of the clearing, pulling myself silently into the undisturbed mask I had so often worn throughout my existence. No other person was near, I was sure, but I did it anyway. It would help to already have it in place in case anyone did cross paths with me. When I was sure my face had fallen into its normal features I pressed forward. Crossing the threshold I wrinkled my nose. No vampire could smell that foul. I followed the scent to Renesmee's room , where it abruptly stopped.

_The wolf-men have been here_.

I saw Renesmee's phone by the doorframe. Picking it up, the screen flashed on and showed me her electronic address book. I ran up to the main house to tell the rest of the clan. They wolf-men were certain to look for her, and with this the Cullens would not be pleased. I myself fought back rage.

_She needs time and space to orient herself again. Even though she ran from me, even though I am the cause of her flight, she must needs time to herself to find her way back, and from this she will not be distracted or held back from._

My determined new state made my journey unnaturally short, and I burst into their presence unceremoniously.

"They have gone for her," I said, turning my attention to her father and mother.

"What?" Bella asked me, her brow furrowed.

"The wolf-pack. They have riffled through her belongings and taken numbers from her phone," I explained.

Edward saw immediately what was in my mind as I recalled the memory, and his face turned to stone. The rest turned to him and he explained more thoroughly what I could not.

"Jacob obviously thinks he can find her through her contacts. He thinks she's staying with one of them and intends to confront her there. I saw a flicker of thought earlier, but I wasn't paying attention to it."

Rosalie hissed and looked ready to attack. I nodded at her and we shared a grim smile.

"She's decided," Alice said.

We all stopped and looked at her. Her eyes, which had been blank but a second before, took on their lively sparkle again. She looked my way.

"Right," Edward said, "I'm sorry Nahuel but it would be unfair if you knew where she was."

"I understand." I stepped back.

I physically and mentally removed myself from the situation and then bid them goodnight. I would revel in my pain in loneliness tonight, and until my ray of happiness decided to return to me.

* * *

_~"So it goes, this soldier knows the battle with the heart isn't easily won." Cheers!~_


	30. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

A cell phone rang. I glanced around, disoriented by its closeness, and then realized it was the tiny silver phone my dad had given me before I left.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Renesmee, thank God. Where are you?"

"Mom? I'm in Newark airport. I'm getting on my connection."

"Okay. Listen. Jacob went through your phone's contact list and he's trying to track you down."

"Jacob's trying to find me?"

"Yes."

Jeez, the guy really _could not_ take a hint. I could feel my blood pressure rising.

"We think he's got some of your friends' numbers and all the house numbers too."

"Fan-freaking-tastic."

"Listen, Ren, if you want to come home…" my mom let the sentence hang there.

"No, no, I'll just find someplace to stay."

"Okay, sweetie. Let us know when you get there," she said.

"I'm sure Alice will before I get around to it."

She laughed, and then became serious. "Stay safe. I love you."

"Always, mom. I love you too."

I hung up the phone feeling trapped. Jacob was trying to find me. He probably wanted to have a shotgun wedding. Well fine, I'd give him a wild goose chase. I walked up to the gate desk with a sense of purpose.

"Hi, there," I told the plump lady behind the desk.

"One moment," she said, holding up her finger.

"Yes, well, you see, I'm kind of in a hurry," I told her.

She rifled through some papers on her desk. I waited ten seconds more and then slapped my platinum airlines membership card in front of her, along with my passport and boarding ticket.

"I need some help," I repeated.

She looked at the card and then up at my face and I smiled, dazzling her with my vampiric charm.

"Oh, of course. How can I help you today, Ms. Cullen?" she asked me breezily.

"I want to change my flight."

"I'm sorry I can't authorize that."

"Oh, but I'm sure you can help me out with something, couldn't you," I glanced down, "Mertle?"

"Ummmm," she looked at me, hesitating.

"I would _really_ appreciate it." I smiled at her again, and tilted my head.

"I could have Tyler help you. He's my manager," she offered.

"That would be so lovely, Mertle, thank you."

"Mhmm," she answered, smiling a little.

Her pudgy fingers hit in the appropriate code on her black battle-worn phone, and she spoke briefly with Tyler. Tyler, I figured would be easier to deal with.

We waited a few minutes before he showed up. In the end I probably got Mertle's whole sad little life story. Tyler walked up and he leaned haughtily against the help desk.

"Who's Cullen?" He asked irritably.

"That would be me," I said sweetly, giving him a coy smile.

His mouth popped open.

"Thanks ever so much for helping me," I added.

He smiled and pushed Mertle out of the way.

"Right, we're always happy to help," He told me with pep.

"Could you possibly put me on another flight that's leaving in about the same time frame?"

He frowned as he looked at the list. "Well, there's one going to Italy in a few minutes."

"Perfect."

He looked surprised. "From L.A. to Italy?" He sounded incredulous.

"Sure, what's not to love?" I said, shrugging my shoulders nonchantly.

"Okay. Well, that's a $200 change fee," he added.

When I placed the two bills on the counter poor Tyler's eyes bugged out.

"Um, I'm sorry Ms. Cullen but we can only accept a credit card transaction."

"Okay, just bill it to the one on file. Thank you."

Tyler gave me my ticket and gate number.

"You're a doll, Tyler. Bye, Mertle, good luck with that modeling thing."

I walked away towards my new gate. My family would probably kill me for what I was thinking of doing, but I wasn't totally sure I was going to do it anyway. Alice would have to wait and see.

The flight was long, but comfortable. I drowned out my thoughts with Aerosmith. My hysteria was just at the edges, trying to creep up on me, but I had relaxed somewhat from the scene at the house. Jacob was really trying to put the last straw on it, though.

"Drink, miss?" The flight attendant asked me.

"Yes please. Do you have any whiskey?"

"We do. How would you like it?" She asked pleasantly.

"On the rocks."

Her glance was swift, but I could feel the surprise.

"Thanks," I told her when she handed it over.

"You're Welcome," And she moved on.

I looked at the amount of whiskey in the glass she had poured and frowned. This wasn't going to do anything for me at all. I looked in my bag and pulled out some sleeping aides. We had had to get them a few months ago because I was sea-sick, and paired with the whiskey they would knock me out for a solid three hours. (Pitiful, I know, but my increased heart rate and vampire genes really screwed me over for some things.) I quickly popped the pills in my mouth and downed the whiskey.

"Yuck," I said, grimacing.

It took about a half an hour, in which time the friendly flight attendant came to collect the glass, but eventually I felt drowsy enough to drift into sleep.

I woke up to the plane's jostling. My three hours were up, apparently. I sighed and let the sounds of the plane drift around me for a while. The rest of the flight I passed listening to music, watching a movie, and watching the other passengers.

Italy was bright and sunny when we landed, and I smiled. No vampires running around out here for sure. The sun made my skin shimmer, but I could pass it off as some ultra-glittery body lotion or something. I was still a long way from Volturra yet, though.

I made my way down the street, taking off my jacket as I went and thanking my lucky stars that I wasn't stuck waiting for my luggage to show on the carousel. I stopped and hailed a cab.

"You like a ride, miss, yes?" the old portly looking man asked me.

When I nodded he came around to my side of the cab and popped the trunk. He loaded my roller bag into the back and looked at me suspiciously.

"That all, Signorina? No more bag?"

"Non ho più bagagli." _I don't have any more bags_, I said.

He looked at me with surprise and then smiled.

"Vieni, siediti," He told me jovially, gesturing to the front passenger seat.

When I got in and he started the car he looked at me and told me how beautiful I was. Like an angel, he kept repeating, not bothering to look at the road as he switched lanes. I nodded and smiled as he started chattering at me in rapid-fire Italian.

"Where are you going?" He asked as we pulled out onto the main road through the city.

"The Vatican," I answered, putting on my sunglasses.

"Ah, come to pay your respects," He said wisely, nodding.

I merely smiled and he chattered on about the city, his mother at church the passed Sunday ("The old hag won't die!" He exclaimed lovingly), the pasta, where I should get gelato, and his best friend Francesco (to whom he lost $40 to on account of a soccer game). I learned his name was Luigi Garabaldi, and I was to call on him if I ever had trouble in the city.

"Everyone knows who I am, just tell someone you're looking for me and they'll tell you where to go," he said confidently.

He got me as conviently placed in the city as he could, and got my bag for me out of the trunk. I held out what I owed him (I had used the currency exchange station at the airport), but he waved it away.

"For you, pretty Signorina, I give you a deal."

He ended up charging me a little more than half of what it had cost. I fussed ( I had grown to like this jolly old man as he talked and drove), and he finally accepted a tip on top of the fare.

"Ciao, bella," he called as he drove away.

"Ciao!"

I took my bearings, located the nearest hotel, and checked in. Then I walked down to take mass at the Vatican. As I prayed after taking communion, I thanked God for the fact that I hadn't run into any wayward werewolves.

* * *

_~Here we go! Hope you're enjoying yourselves. Please review :) Cheers!~_


	31. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

The next day I took a train up to Volturra. The winding road followed the coastline and then headed up into the mountains. We saw the soaring spires of the city half an hour before we reached the gate, and I glued my eyes to the view. It was beautiful – beautiful and deadly. Apparently none of the happy, smiling tourists had any idea that they might turn into an afternoon snack. My stomach flipped with uneasiness and I squashed the thought in my mind.

The guard at the gate signaled the bus to take a side road, and we bounced and jostled happily into the city.

"Grazie," I said to the driver, who handed me my roller from the bus storage compartment.

He grunted and proceeded to heft another piece of luggage out. I stared a moment, and then took off into the city. The sun was shining and the city was bustling. I made my way around the perimeter of the city, taking care to avoid the city center where the fountain splashed below the clock tower. That, I was sure, was a Volturi hotspot.

I checked into another hotel and decided to sleep a while. The bed was large and welcoming, and I threw myself onto it. My body sunk into the comforter, and then the mattress gave way comfortably. I closed my eyes and waited.

Nothing happened. I tossed and turned, trying to lull myself to sleep for an hour. Eventually I gave up and changed into a swimsuit to relax by the pool.

Going down to the pool, which was on an escarpment overlooking the ocean, I settled into a lounger that was half in the water and pushed my sunglasses more securely on my nose.

The sun shone from a bit lower in the sky, but it warmed my skin. The water was nice, and the sounds of the sea were comforting. I pushed aside memories of Jacob and the beach and focused instead on the conversations around me. When I was bored with that, I swam for a while, and then made my way back up to my hotel room. By this time it was dusk, so I showered and changed into comfy clothes. I didn't feel like going out, so I sat crossed legged on my bed, staring at the painting on the wall blankly.

Two proposals in as many days in between. Two men who loved me. One me, who loved both of them.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered.

I tried to compare the two of them, but that was impossible. I tried writing a pro and con list for each of them but I gave up on that. I was sick of trying to compare and sick of trying to decide. My head spun and my heart ached and my stomach was cramping. It was like I was trying to tear myself in two and pick only one half to live with for the rest of my life.

It was night, and the room was pitch black. I had been trapped in this room with only my thoughts for hours on end. Rolling over to my side, I brought my knees up and hugged them to me. I whimpered, and then I started sobbing.

Deciding was impossible. I couldn't do it. I loved them both too much.

In a crazy moment I thought about marrying them both, or living half the year with one and then switching over to the other. I could have two homes, two lives, and be happy.

_Are you mentally insane?_ I asked myself.

_Maybe._ Came the answer.

I rocked back and forth and shook violently. The bed started to quake beneath me, so I rolled off and landed in a heap on the floor.

Still sobbing, I crawled to the corner and heaved myself upright. I put a hand over my mouth and sucked in, trying to stop the inhuman noises coming from inside me. My hotel neighbors could probably hear my breakdown. I bit down on my fist and broke the skin on my knuckles. Metallic blood filled my mouth, and my immediate instinct was to keep tasting it. I ripped my hand out of my mouth and covered it with my other hand. I shook violently and stared. Eventually, I hesitantly peeled off my hand and looked at my knuckle. The skin had smoothed over and the puncture wounds were barely visible.

I leaned my head back and sighed, tears constantly streaming down my face. This was tearing me apart – literally. I was either going to kill myself or go permanently crazy, and those were two options I was not fond of.

_Aro could help me._

He would be able to see everything, and help me come to a decision. But to do that would mean having to put Jacob and Nahuel possibly in danger, and possibly myself. They never liked my family having an alliance with the werewolves – it made us too powerful in their eyes, and Caius was particularly adverse to the friendship. Nahuel they liked, but viewed as a threat, as he neither had no set coven or voiced alliance to any particular side. They would also, if I did consult Aro, probably capture me and never let me leave. Aro in particular viewed me as a novelty, at least he did the last time we had met, in the field, and he would conceivably put me in a room and see what I would do if I was faced with the ultimatum of drinking human blood or dying.

He wouldn't be that cruel to start with, but it would eventually build to something that extreme. Of that I was certain.

But I couldn't handle this emotional stress anymore.

_They had liked me well enough. They wouldn't want to see me killed. I'm too much of an enigma for them to risk hurting me, and if they did hurt me it would mean bringing on the wrath of Carlisle._

I quieted as I considered the possibility. My sobs stopped, but tears still leaked out of my eyes. I wiped them away and let my mind drift to a possible life with the Volturi. It wouldn't be so bad. I would be amusing to them, and they would in turn give me gifts and shower me with affection. Jane probably wouldn't appreciate my presence, but I could avoid her. I would have a place to stay, be away from my problems, and enjoy life in Italy. I already knew the language. I could interact with both humans and vampires easily. I could be their liaison. I smiled, deciding that I would see them.

A loud buzzing interrupted my imaginings.

I wandered slowly over to my tote and took the phone from the pocket. By that time the person was calling back a second time. The number was restricted, so I picked it up.

"Are you suicidal?" My father's angry voice berated me over the line.

"Yes."

"Renesmee. You can't go to the Volturi – they'll murder you. Especially since Caius hates the pack so much. Listen to me – you can't go to them. They won't help you. Your mother and I are getting on a plane to come to you. Stay where you are."

I listened mutely to his words.

"Dad," I whispered eventually.

I couldn't make him feel this agony I was going through. I couldn't possibly convey to him the thought process that had led me to the conclusion that Aro was the only one who could return my sanity.

"We're coming sweetie."

I snapped myself out of my melancholy stupor.

"No! No you can't come here. I need to deal with this…" I trailed off.

Soft footfalls were coming from the hallway, and they were getting closer. I listened intently, but the person walked past my door. I let out a breath.

"Renesmee. You are not in a good place mentally. You need us."

"I'm fine. I promise I won't do anything rash, I just…" I couldn't finish.

"Baby?" My mom's voice came on the line.

I couldn't reply. I started to cry, and I put the phone down.

"We're coming, honey, don't worry," I heard from the phone. "We have to board now, but we're coming. I love you so much. Don't do anything until we get there."

She hung up, and I suddenly got a sick twisting of tension in my abdomen.

_I need a drink_.

I dragged myself up and stumbled over to the bar fridge. I pushed aside the coffee maker and unloaded the contents of the fridge onto the counter. I started with vodka, and proceeded to down all the drinks I had found in that glorious little ice box. I wandered over to the bed and fell on it, face first. I grabbed the phone and called room service.

"What may we do for you this evening, Ms. Cullen?"

"I want a bottle of rum, a bottle of tequila, and a bottle of chocolate liqueur sent up to my room please."

"Do you have any preferences?"

"Whatever's in the middle of the market. Nothing too expensive, but I don't want any cheap stuff."

"We can certainly accommodate you, Ms. Cullen."

"Great. See you soon!"

I was beginning to feel a slight buzz, but it wasn't anything noteworthy.

"Curse my vampire DNA," I said out loud.

I rolled over to the floor and tripped. I looked down but couldn't see anything.

"Whoops," I said, and giggled.

Apparently the alcohol was having a bit more of an effect on me than I thought. It was not, however, enough to impair my judgment, because I could still feel the hole in my heart where my future was concerned. I could still rationally argue going to the Volturi. Or maybe it wasn't that rational, after all. I didn't know what I was thinking anymore.

There was a knock on my door.

"Hello?" I said, as I opened it.

"Room Service, miss."

"Well, thank you. Just charge it to my tab," I told the woman with a salute.

"Very well," the maid paused and looked at me. "Are you alright, miss?"

I must really look trashed.

"Yes. I'm alright. Thanks for asking." I grimaced at her.

She smiled and handed over the tray.

I put it on the counter and closed the door. I located the bottle opener on the tray and proceeded to open the chocolate liquor with care. Not bothering with a glass, I just took the whole bottle over to my bed and snuggled under the sheets.

I would do nothing but drink and be merry with myself until the parental units arrived.

My dreams were bizarre and disjointed. Wolves and vampires chased me across continents, thirsting for my blood. A knight in shining armor came to my rescue, but then he gave me a ring with giant diamond nestled on it. He wrestled it onto my finger, and I tipped over with the weight of it. I cried, refusing him, wanting to be rid of the ring. When I refused him he grew angry, and yelled at me, and giant fangs protruded from his mouth. He frothed at the mouth and fell upon me. The smell of alcohol and the scent of chocolate were everywhere. I writhed in pain, and suddenly all was still, and quiet and cold like a tomb.

"Renesmee?"

The voice floated to me through the dark. I turned, trying to pinpoint the origin of the voice. I was so disoriented. Where did my tormentor go? Why was I in a tomb? It was so damp in here, and cold. I shivered.

"Baby?" the voice said anxiously.

The ground was shaking now, and it rattled my bones.

"How many bottles did she have?"

"I don't know, there's a bunch of little ones, and then this big one here, and the half-drunk one over there…"

"She shouldn't have. She knows better than that!"

"Hush, she's distressed."

"Distressed and drunk. What a wonderful combination."

There was a pause.

"Renesmee?"

I groaned, and finally made my way back to consciousness. The light was blinding. I felt awful.

I licked my lips and found that they were dry. My teeth felt slimy. The darkness was so nice. I closed my eyes firmly and rolled over. My brain felt wrapped in fluff.

"Honey, we're here."

A cold hand touched my overheated skin.

"You're too late," I mumbled softly.

"What?"

My mother pushed her head next to mine anxiously. Her glossy chestnut hair swung forward over her face and infused the air with the scent of strawberry shampoo.

"You're too late," I tried again.

"Too late?" she asked me, panicked but trying not to convey it.

"I've already broken into a million pieces," I whispered.

"Oh sweetie, oh honey," she said softly, lying down next to me.

I turned my face toward her, and she pushed the hair off my face. I didn't bear to open my eyes yet.

We stayed like that, not moving, for a good amount of time.

My brain felt strangely weak, as if it was tired from all the activity and stress it had encountered. It could also be an after-effect of the alcohol in my system. My limbs were sore. I felt utterly exhausted. I just wanted to lie here in the bed until my heart gave out.

"Ren, honey," my mom began, "we should get you cleaned up."

"We're taking you home," my dad said.

"Hey, could you do me a favor." I popped my lips.

They waited.

"Could you," I paused, "bring me that bottle over there?" I waved my arm lamely in the direction of the half-drunk bottle of rum.

"No."

"Dad," I whined.

"You've had enough."

I sighed, and rolled over on to my mother. She heaved me up and helped me to the bathroom.

"I don't want to live," I said, crumpling.

My mother hustled me into the shower and began peeling off the sticky clothing from my skin.

"Of course you do," she said softly, "you have me, and your father, and Rose, and Alice, and Emmett and Jasper, and Carlisle and Esme, and Renee, and Charlie. We all love you too much to let you be by yourself."

I didn't answer; I just stood there in the shower. She pulled me over to avoid the streaming jet of water from the shower head and tested it with her hand. When it wasn't ice cold anymore she shoved me under it. She placed the soap into my hand and closed the door.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the hot water began to wake up my senses, at least enough to function on auto pilot. I lathered the soap around my body and let the stream of water rinse it off. I soaped up my hair and conditioned it, and then rinsed it out. I stepped out and wrapped a fluffy towel around my body, and one around my hair. Then I sat at the edge of the counter, staring off into nothing. My mother came back in, and toweled and brushed my hair through. She kissed my forehead briefly, and then guided me into the bedroom. I barely noticed that my father wasn't in the room.

She dressed me and then sat me down on the bed.

"Honey, can you hear me?"

I nodded mechanically.

"We're going home."

My mother waited for the statement to sink in. It all happened in a blinding flash. My nerves jolted like they were on fire, and I jumped up.

"I can't."

"Ren, you're overwhelmed, you need to come home with us."

"I'm not going back. Not yet."

"You can't see the Volturi," she said sternly.

I sighed. "I know. I just…need to think about things with you guys."

She frowned.

"We don't have to stay in Volturra," I amended quickly.

Her face smoothed and she patted my knee.

"We can go to the apartment in France," she said.

"Aren't Joséphine and Mark there?"

"They'll make room. I'm sure Joséphine would love the company, since she missed your birthday."

"And Jacob can't find me there?"

"He has no idea about it."

"Nahuel?" I asked.

"He doesn't know either."

I nodded.

"I'll just go down to make the arrangements and tell your father not to bring up our luggage."

She left and I sat back down on the bed. So, I wouldn't get Aro's help. That was a shame. He would have made it so easy for me. He could have decided for me in a split second of seeing my thoughts.

_There's still time._ My tired mind informed me.

I looked out the window. In the distance I could see the clock tower, and behind that the spire of their castle.

* * *

_~Reviews will make me upload faster! Cheers~_


	32. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

The day was cloudy, so that meant that we could have a speedy departure. My parents wouldn't be hindered by the sun.

It also meant the Volturi could be wandering the streets.

I looked around casually once we got to the hotel's front lobby. Of course, we were too far away from the city center for there to be a real possibility of encountering one of their retinue, but I could make up an excuse to travel closer to the clock tower. I would have to watch my father, though. I couldn't think anything too obvious or he would guess my plan immediately.

My stomach flipped. The alcohol had dissipated, but I hadn't eaten or hunted since my birthday, and the few days without sustenance mixed with my drinking binge and emotional breakdown last night was taking a toll on my system.

"Do you think we could eat something?" I asked my mom, putting a hand to my stomach.

"Maybe when we get to Rome," she said doubtfully.

"Or on the train," I added, sighing.

She looked at me, wondering if I really did need food immediately or if I could wait. It had gotten harder and harder for her to judge how often I needed to eat the more years she spent as a vampire.

"All set to go," my dad said as he rejoined us.

I concentrated on my unsettled stomach.

"I think Ren needs to eat something," he murmured to my mother.

She nodded, and took me by the arm.

"We'll just get something here at a restaurant nearby."

They shared a look. I pretended not to see it and led the way into the city.

After a few minutes I stopped at one and we sat down. It wasn't in the main square, but it was as close as I dared to get to the city center. I chose a table by the street and faced out, so I could nonchalantly people watch. There were no cars allowed, which would make it easier. I was glad there was such heavy cloud cover.

We ordered (or, more technically, I did) and I settled down. The waiter brought me a soda and I sipped it, feeling a little better. The heaviness still rested in my head, and my chest was aching. I couldn't stop fidgeting due to my stress and anxiety being so extraordinarily high. I just wanted it all to be over.

After endless moments the waiter returned with my food. I stopped my people watching and seemingly inhaled the meal. I did feel marginally better with sustenance in my system. My dad paid the bill and we got up. Something red flashed in the corner of my eye, and I turned to see a beautiful girl in a cloak, the inside of which was the color that had caught my attention.

"Come see the beautiful Volturra Castle, home to one of the most influential families in Italy!" she called.

My heart was clearly audible.

I turned toward her and took half a step. Her eyes met mine, and she smiled with easy familiarity. She was almost irresistible. Her purple eyes told me she was wearing contacts, and her complexion and build told me she wasn't just a gorgeous human.

She could lead me to Aro. The thought lodged firmly into my mind and I smiled back at her involuntarily.

_If I could just tell her who I am…_

Cold steel wrapped around my forearm and prevented me from catching up with the woman who was the leader to my salvation. I looked down, my body screaming at me to _hurry up and get to Aro_ and saw that it was my father's hand wrapped around my limb. My eyes traveled up to his face, and I looked calmly into his furious expression.

_Let me go to him. He can put me out of my agony._

His face took on a saddened, agonized expression.

_Just let me go. Let me get rid of this burden. They won't hurt me. _This_ is killing me all over._

His grip slackened.

My mother clamped her hand on top of his and he looked at her. They were communicating in a wordless exchange, and my attention wavered. My eyes sought out the alluring vampire again. She had not stopped her friendly vocal invitation, but her eyes were trained on us, interested in our little exchange. Humans ebbed and flowed around us, yet she never lost her focus on us.

She could lead me to Aro. Aro could stop my emotional agony. He could keep me from self-destructing.

I tried tugging out from their combined grip. When that didn't work I yanked harder. That got their attention.

"Renesmee," my mother hissed at me.

At that the female vampire excused herself from the crowd she had gotten and told them to wait right there. She was over at our side in two seconds.

"Hello," she said. Her lips curved up at the corners.

"Hello," my father said in a slightly detached tone.

She picked up on that.

"How lovely for you to come to Volturra," she purred, and trained her eyes on me. "I don't believe I've ever seen you at the castle," she added, "why don't you join my tour?"

"She won't be able to, we were just leaving," my mom said, and turned slightly in the opposite direction.

"Oh, I see."

"Goodbye," my dad said, taking my arm.

The woman put a hand on my shoulder. My father hissed, and my mom immediately grabbed my hand and I felt her shield slide around me, hugging me in a sheltering cocoon.

"You don't want any trouble here," my dad told her in a deadly undertone.

She looked at him, startled. She quickly regained her composure.

"That would be highly unfavorable, especially since we're just having a nice little chat," she answered, amusement plainly showing on her face.

"Your fish are getting restless," I said dejectedly.

I wouldn't get to see Aro, of that I was sure, now. My mother had too strong a grip on me, and dad would never consent after this little exchange.

"Hmmm. They can wait a moment longer."

I stood there, looking at the cobblestones beneath my feet.

"You _are_ interesting." She sniffed the air with interest. "Fruity, and yet, there's a tang…"

"We have to get going now. Have a nice day," my dad said, and abruptly walked away making sure to drag me and my mom behind him.

I glanced back over my shoulder and saw the woman with the purple eyes looking after us, startled. As I watched her startled look was replaced by one that was thoughtful, and she turned back to her catch of humans. She was smiling as she led them away. I wasn't sure if she had forgotten about us indefinitely or just for the moment.

My father walked quicker, and I focused again on where we were going. We were almost to the hotel now. I realized that they were talking in lowered voices, creating a faint droning buzz unless I listened to what they were saying.

"She wanted him to sort it out for her, and she thought that woman could lead her there."

"No doubt she could, but doesn't she realize…"

"She's not processing correctly. This decision is tearing her apart."

"It's causing her pain?"

"Immense pain. No wonder she did what she did."

"I can't believe she's so quiet about it."

"She internalizes."

"They would have kept her, locked her up."

"Like a caged bird."

I stopped listening. We hailed a cab and I got into the backseat with my mom. The cab dropped us off at the nearest train station, where we promptly caught the next train to Rome. We settled into a private apartment and I stared out the window as the Italian coast whipped by.

We made it down to Rome and caught a flight. It was pretty amazing how my dad could charm anyone to do anything for him; then again, he had powers of persuasion far beyond human comprehension.

My mother comforted me constantly, whether by holding my hand or rubbing my back or putting her arm around my shoulders. Her obvious worry made me feel guilty. She shouldn't have to help me carry this burden. As a result, I was silent the whole flight. She kept encouraging me to drink water and juices, always making sure I wasn't spiraling into another 'episode'.

We arrived in France a few hours later, along with heavy rains.

My dad hailed a cab. I feared for the driver's life as he weaved us in and out of traffic. If we crashed my parents and I would be fine, but he could definitely suffer a painful horrific death. I clutched my hands together and prayed until we got to the row of charming apartments by the river. Flowers in cheerful colors hung from the window boxes, and we rang the bell.

"Coming!" we heard from inside.

Joséphine opened the door, and then exclaimed in French.

"Mon chérie les Cullens sont ici!"

She waved us through the door and then hugged each of us.

"I did not expect you! What a lovely surprise!" She sang in her French-accented English.

Her husband Mark appeared in the living room.

"Edward!" Mark had a nice American accent.

"Hello, Mark. I hope we're not interrupting."

"No, no, come on in."

We filed into the living room and sat down.

"Why, Renesmee, you look exhausted. You must lie down," Joséphine said.

Her face was creased with concern.

"I'm fine."

"No, no. I will not take any of that." She shooed me into a guest bedroom. "Sleep tight," she said with a smile, and closed the door behind her.

I could hear them talking about me in the living room. I stripped, found my bag (which someone had already put in here) and took out an oversized t-shirt. I pulled it on and snuggled beneath the comforter. The sheets smelled like lavender and Joséphine's perfume. My eyes closed involuntarily, and eventually the comforting sound of the rain helped me drift off into sleep.

The next morning I awoke, but I didn't open my eyes. My dream had been blissfully free of anything. The house was quiet, so I pulled on some shorts and cautiously opened the door. Peeking my head around, I couldn't see anyone in the living room. I made my way quietly over the floor and found Joséphine reading a book in the kitchen, her arms bent on the tiled counter and her foot tapping rhythmically on the floor.

"Good Morning, Joséphine," I said. My voice sounded scratchy.

She looked up, and her amber eyes were warm.

"Good Morning! Or should I say afternoon? You almost slept the whole day away."

She set her book face down on the counter and busied herself with the fridge.

"Your mother said you are hungrier than ever," she told me.

"Oh, um, I suppose it's the stress," I said awkwardly.

She made a noise. "Yes, well, you are certainly in a predicament, are you not?"

She set a beautifully ornate box on the table. Inside were giant cream puffs nestled between colored pieces of tissue paper. On top of each was an ornate gold spiral.

"Sweets from my favorite bakery. They have been in business since I was a girl, in 1863."

"They look wonderful. I'm afraid to touch them."

"Go ahead." She waved it away like it was nothing. "When you have eaten, then we talk."

"Where are my parents, and Mark?"

"Off to visit a friend, I do not know where. They just left." She shrugged and picked up her book again and made her way to the lounger.

I shrugged in turn and got a glass of milk, and then sat down to eat a cream puff. The center was delicious. They had mixed vanilla cream with fruit compotes, and the result was pure bliss. Without meaning to I had eaten the whole box of six by the time I was done.

Joséphine laughed, and I looked over at her. She had a hand pressed to her mouth, curled in on herself with the book propped open on her knees. She stifled another giggle and then glanced up at me. Her curly golden hair was tied back with a ribbon, but one curl had escaped and hung slightly in front of her thick-lash framed eyes.

"Pardon," she murmured.

"What book are you reading?" I asked.

"It is a French tale that I had re-copied. I do not think they publish it anymore."

"Oh."

Sometimes it threw me, still, when I had no reference to the lives of ancient vampires. It was easier with my Mom.

I frowned.

Joséphine patted the chair adjacent to the lounger.

"Come, sit. Now we will talk, just like I promised."

She set the book aside on a side table, and leaned toward me on the chair.

"I am sorry I could not make it out to your birthday. Mark had a sudden emergency and we could not go."

"That's fine. I hope everything turned out alright."

"It did, but from what I hear your party was the more exciting," Her amber eyes sparkled.

"It was absolutely wonderful, until the last part." I grimaced.

She looked at me doubtfully.

"Come," I told her, and opened my hand.

She leaned back and waved her arms in front of her. "No, no. I want to talk."

Confused, I let my hand drop.

"Tell me why it ended badly," She demanded.

"Um, well, I'm sure Bella already filled you in…"

"I want to hear it from you. Words from mothers are often not how the daughter feels."

I took a breath, wondering how to explain everything, especially how I felt. She waited, arms folded, eyes locked on me. I studied the pattern in the Persian carpet, not really seeing it except for the colors. After a few more seconds I began, backtracking to a hasty recounting of the proposal of Nahuel, and the days leading up to the party, and finally the party itself – glossing over it until the Jake's proposal. My heart seemed to stutter and race periodically, and the blood was loud in my veins. Each throb was painful, and I was short of breath by the end of the story.

"This causes you discomfort."

"You could say that," I answered, clutching my hands together.

"Tell me about them," Joséphine prodded.

"Nahuel and Jake?"

She nodded.

"Well, how can I encompass them in words? They're each so complex and…_themselves_."

"Try," She said.

"Nahuel is, well, he's about a century older than Dad. He's amazing, but the thinks he's this horrid creature. He doesn't see himself clearly at all, and he internalizes more than anything. He thinks seriously before he says or does anything and I find that extraordinary. He's recreated himself over and over again. He's gorgeous, but dangerous, and yet I don't think he'd intentionally hurt anything anymore, unless, you know, it was threatening. He knows philosophy and history and art, and he's fantastic at sciences and mathematics. With him I can indulge in my vampire side. I can talk to him about trying to keep to the diet, and about the urges to hunt, and all that. He had this wonderful way of talking that's all his own, like he's mixing the old with the new, and he has a dimple on his right side when he smiles. He's sort of…mysterious." I shook my head and smiled a little. It was the perfect way to describe him.

Joséphine smile and nodded. "I knew a man like that once." Her voice sounded wistful.

"And Jacob…he's almost the opposite. He's older than me, but he's way younger than anyone. He turns forty today, I think, and he can morph into a wolf at will. He used to be in a pack, but then split and made his own, which I get because he's headstrong and stubborn and doesn't like people telling him what to do. He's also innovative. He can think on his feet. He's quick with witty quips, but that also gets him into trouble, which I don't like. He doesn't think before he opens his mouth, although sometimes he does manage to keep it shut. His eyes are expressive, so you can tell that he's assessing and judging everything constantly. He's very protective, and warm, and fun. He rides a bike and goes cliff-diving. He's like the badass rebel, but not really." I pressed my lips together. Jacob was harder to describe.

"Could I just show you?" I asked Joséphine. She relented and held out her hand.

I showed her the best memories of both, and then the worst. She leaned back in the lounger and gazed at the tiles on the ceiling.

"You already know who you're going to stay with, don't you, Renesmee?"

I stared at her. "Who?" I begged.

She looked at me then, and in a flash had my chin between her fingers. She forced me to stare directly into her amber eyes.

"I could already tell when you were describing them to me. You changed, the way your voice was, when you spoke of him. It was clearer when you showed me." Her eyes challenged me to understand what she saw.

_Which one?! _I asked her through our link. It was making me delirious to try to figure it out.

Her eyes were mocking, and then they turned soft.

"I will tell you," she said, and leaned back. "You feel more ready to marry…"

She didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she looked at me, a smile playing with her lips.

"Yes?" I asked her, desperate for her to tell me.

"You already thought it. Right when I was going to say a name, you thought of that one, and you wanted me to say it. You were expecting it."

A slow flush crept up my neck to my cheeks.

"Go to him, ma chérie," she said lovingly, and kissed my cheek.

* * *

_~Who do you think it is? Hope you can't stand the suspense. Review! Cheers~_


	33. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

My phone buzzed. I glanced at the screen and saw the word "restricted". I put it back in my pocket and stared at the girl across the counter.

"Are you sure there aren't any earlier flights?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Black, but there aren't any openings earlier than the one you're booked for."

My phone buzzed again. Annoyed, I took it out and saw "restricted" again. I hit ignore and looked at the girl again.

"Look," I said, smiling and leaning one arm on the counter, "can't you just bump me up one flight? I'm sure someone will miss the flight, and this way everyone's happy."

The girl smiled back at me but shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Black. We're all booked up."

I ran my hand through my hair and nodded. "Thanks, I guess."

A beep came from my pocket. Irritated, I took the phone out for the third time. This time it was a text message from the restricted number.

_'Get your ass back to Forks. Ren.'_

I stared at the screen for a second. Then I turned around and made my way to the front of the line at the counter, ignoring the angry grumbling from the other passengers.

"Hey, Susan? Get me a flight to Forks. It's an emergency."

The afternoon sun made a dazzling pattern across the water. I watched it for a moment, and then turned and walked down the little path to a cabin. It was here that I sought refuge after having Ren leave that fateful night. I glowered at the shrubbery on the side of the path. The wolf-man just had to ruin the moment. He had not only ruined the birthday but had left a sour taste in my mouth as well. He had no sense of propriety at all. I opened the sliding porch door of the small cabin and stepped in. A faint beep touched my ears, and I made my way to where I had left my mobile phone.

When I saw the message from Renesmee I laughed. She had decided at last. She was coming home. I put everything back into my backpack and left the cabin just as its owners had it. Then I started to run.

I fidgeted on the couch.

"Stop it," Rose whispered from behind me.

"I can't," I grumbled back irritably.

I thought making my decision would stop my anxiety, but it only increased it. Now I had to let one of them go, possibly forever, while the other basked in glory. My face took on a sour expression. This was not going to be fun. We had arrived yesterday, and I had sent the text to both of the boys as soon as I had seen the sun this morning. They were sure to arrive soon, if Alice could judge appropriately.

Suddenly a tang filled the air. I whipped my head around to look at the front door. A shuffle, and then Nahuel knocked. I steeled myself and made my way over to the door, knowing my family was behind me. I opened the door timidly, and peeked around the edge.

"Renesmee," he said, his eyes warm.

"Nahuel," I smiled at him.

He pushed open and the door and embraced me. His face bent down so he could touch his lips to mine. I kept a tight lid on my thoughts and emotions, as I would have to do with Jacob. I had to wait until we were all together, even if it would be more painful that way.

"Take a seat," I told him.

A roar filled my ears as I was about to close the door. I turned and saw Jake already running away from his bike, which was sideways on the ground.

"Ren!"

In no time at all he was up the steps and I was crushed in his arms. I conveniently stopped breathing, as it would have hurt to try.

"Hi, Jake," I said breathlessly when he set me down.

"You could've hurt her," Nahuel growled at him.

"She's fine," Jake replied curtly.

I sighed.

Both of them looked at me and had the decency to look chagrinned.

"Let's just sit down, shall we?"

I led the way to the couch, and proceeded to sit in between them.

"So, as you both know, I kind of freaked out. My brain short-circuited or something and I ran hard and fast. Both of you were idiots, and I wasn't ready to be suddenly put on the spot like that, from _both of you_ no less. So after lots of thinking and freaking out and so on and so forth, I got some help from a friend. She kind of led me in the right direction, and…" I broke off then and put my face in my hands.

Both of them were stock still, waiting.

"This is just so hard. I can't tell you how much it's torn me apart," I whispered, not bearing to look at their faces.

"I know, love, I understand," Nahuel murmured.

There was silence as I composed myself. It was broken suddenly by the shrill ringing of the telephone. It cut off when my dad picked it up, and I could hear him talking from the kitchen. He got angrier and then softer, persuading. When he finally hung up he sounded irritated. My mother barreled into the living room a half second later, stopping perfectly in the middle.

"We have to go."

The three of us looked at her, startled.

"What's going on?" I asked her, getting up from the couch.

Her eyes were slightly wider than usual as she looked at me. I could feel her shield already in place. Nahuel instinctively took up a defensive position, and I could tell he felt the electric charge in the air.

"Your little episode on the streets of Volturra left an impression with Melanie. She told Aro, Marcus and Caius about it as soon as was convenient."

"You went to the bloodsucker's den?" Jake asked me angrily.

"They called to ask about you," my mother explained.

"They're coming?" I asked her, horrified.

"No. Not them, per se, but a small retinue of their people are."

"Jane?"

"No," my father said as he joined us, "Jane's not coming, but Demetri is, along with a few others. Aro in particular is quite fascinated at how you've grown."

I swore. "I'm sorry, everyone. This is all my fault."

"We can take them," Emmett assured me, cracking his knuckles.

"We took them on once, we can take them on again," Jacob agreed.

The testosterone level was off the charts.

"I don't want anyone fighting anyone!" I said above the sudden commotion.

Everyone stopped talking to stare at me.

"Renesmee, sweetie, they're going to try to take you away," Rose said, her face set stubbornly.

"We don't know that," I said.

"They won't, at least, not yet," Alice confirmed.

"Well, we're not going to sit here like sitting ducks," My father said angrily.

"No, but I want to meet them civilly. I'm sure they won't attack or think of taking me away if we just act as though they were coming over for tea or something."

Jacob snorted.

"She's right," Nahuel said. I looked up to see him smiling at me. "If we act defensively they will take it as an affront. They will have to retaliate. If we act as if nothing were to happen…"

They considered.

"That _does _seem like the most logical path," Carlisle said.

Everyone nodded. Rose especially didn't look happy, but at least they weren't going to start a war. I let out a breath and sat down.

"Right. So, what do we do?" I asked.

"Well, we wait. Everyone will take defensive positions without seeming to. Maybe they just want a good look at you," my mother said, sitting with me.

I nodded. Then I sat up straight and squared off for battle.

"Right. Let's do this. Alice, how soon are they coming?"

"Maybe a few hours. They were in transit when they called. I can't believe I couldn't stop this from happening. I was so focused on tracking _these_ two that I couldn't concentrate on much else."

Her voice soured and she threw dirty looks at Jacob and Nahuel.

"Well, so much for everything, huh?" Jake asked me, stretching out beside me.

"Yea, I guess."

He was looking at me. I grew suddenly self-conscious.

"What?" I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Nothing," he replied, turning his look to the ceiling.

I cleared my throat and looked around the room. Alice and my mom were off to the side, talking. Everyone else had gone elsewhere. Nahuel was sitting idly at the piano, his fingers drifting across the keys. The melody was soft, nice, soothing against the sudden tension. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, following the pattern of the notes. I sat there for a while, in a trance, not paying attention to anything but the music. Suddenly Jacob stirred and I opened my eyes. His eyes were riveted to the front door, and he was tense, half out of his seat.

"They're here," he growled.


	34. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"Jacob you should go," I whispered.

"No."

"Jake. Go to the woods. Now. If anything happens you can come, but nothing is going to happen. It's better if you're not here." My voice was like ice.

He looked at me, agonizing. Then suddenly he took off and disappeared.

"Okay," I whispered to myself.

Nahuel was at my side, and I felt him slip something on to my finger. It was my engagement ring. I lifted my hand and the diamond caught the light, the rubies around it offsetting it perfectly.

"It'll go over smoother if they think we're together permanently," He explained.

His expression was guarded. I knew that if I asked him to he'd take it off my finger. But the weight of it was comforting, and it probably would help if they thought I was going to be with someone who was more vampire than human.

I nodded, and he held my hand in his.

"It's going to be okay," he murmured, and then kissed my forehead.

The doorbell rang.

Everyone was suddenly there, and it was Carlisle who answered the door.

"Welcome, Demitri."

Demitri entered at the head of the little retinue the Volturri had sent. He nodded at Carlisle and then stepped further into our home, but cautiously. His eyes roved over the entire family and came to rest on me. He took note of Nahuel's hand wrapped around mine, and he seemed faintly surprised.

"Hello, Renesmee. My you've grown since the last time I've seen you," He purred at me.

I smiled. "It's nice to see you too, Demitri."

"You remember me?"

"Of course. I remember Melanie, too, although I've met her more recently." This time I directed my smile at the female behind him. She was the one I saw in Volturra.

She smiled back at me and then gazed at Nahuel appreciatively.

"And who's this?" She asked.

"Nahuel, my fiancé," I said while Nahuel inclined his head politely.

"Funny, I didn't notice a ring earlier," Melanie said, her eyes boring into mine.

"It happened all of a sudden," I told her.

"As soon as she arrived home. I decided I could never be without her again," Nahuel added, and kissed my hand.

I smiled at him, and Esme ushered everyone into the living room.

"I believe we do not know the third member of your party," Carlisle said lightly.

Dimitri turned to look at the third young man over his shoulder.

"This is Ricard," Dimitri said, waving his hand in dismissal.

The young man dipped his head and grinned at me. He was attractive, with brown hair with blonde streaks through it. He had a chiseled-looking face, and there was a dimple in one cheek. Even though his eyes were red, he made quite an attractive picture. I estimated him to be around seventeen years of age, just on the cusp of adulthood. He also looked new to this life. He had the sort of arrogance about him that plagued the youth of my generation.

I frowned at him, and he winked.

Nahuel hugged me closer to his side.

"Why don't we all sit down?" He suggested.

"Of course," Dimitri murmured.

Melanie sat herself down on the edge of the sofa, her legs protruding in front of her and a pretty pout trained on Nahuel. Dimitri sunk back into the couch, and Ricard followed his lead. My mother and Rose perched on the sofa above me, and Esme sat next to me, with Carlisle in between her and Dimitri. The rest of my family arranged themselves in strategic positions that looked normal.

"Aro sends his disappointment that you didn't visit him during your stay in Volutrra," Dimitri said.

There was a faint tremor of danger in the statement. My father tensed a little, but otherwise maintained a casual posture. My mother glanced down at me, but it was Nahuel who took the lead and answered the question.

"I urged her to come home, as I was miserable without her here," He said.

"I see. Anyone could see she has a certain…_something_ about her."

"She's an integral part of our family," Carlisle said firmly.

Melanie shifted her gaze from Nahuel to my grandfather.

"She really doesn't seem that special, apart from her parentage, that is," Melanie stated slyly.

They were trying to see if my gift had developed. Aro would certainly be interested in that, as well as Marcus and Caius. They were always willing to go the extra mile for special gifts, and with my unique DNA, I was sure to be a rare addition to their cult. I looked at the small retinue as I processed what I could sense about them.

Suddenly Ricard's eyes flashed to mine. His face was blank, and then a slow grin transformed his face. It was the look of a predator that had cornered their prey.

"She doesn't miss a thing, Melanie. Don't worry about the human side of her dulling her senses," Ricard said lightly.

"Apart from what Aro had seen when he was here last, nothing has changed. Alas, her skills are quite limited," Carlisle answered.

"Perhaps we could change that, with the proper training," Dimitri said. His eyes roved over me.

There was a half second of silence.

"What they say about her birth gift is true, I guess." Ricard frowned. "But I swear I sensed…"

"What did you sense, fool? I couldn't sense anything but a tasty treat," Melanie said arrogantly, falling back against the sofa and folding her arms.

"Please, you could never stomach that. She's too vampire to be anything but an air freshener," Ricard retorted, glaring at her.

Dimitri closed his eyes and then stood.

"Well, I see that our coming here was a waste of time," he said. He stretched out a hand to shake mine. "Goodbye, Renesmee."

I stretched out a hand to put into his. Then I turned to shake Melanie's outstretched hand, and then Ricard's. All of a sudden I was filled with revulsion as he passed his memory of a kill he had recently accomplished of a particularly fit human male. I broke contact and held my stomach as it settled.

"She can see memories," Ricard muttered.

Rosalie hissed, and in a flash she was crouched in front of me. Nahuel held onto me but shifted forward, and my mother and father covered the sides.

"Interesting," Dimitri said, eyes alight, "Aro will be pleased to hear it."

"That's a development of her birth gift, is it not?" Melanie asked Carlisle gleefully.

"It is a branch of her gift, but not really related to her birth one, no."

"Then she's able to develop new gifts?" Dimitri asked, stepping closer.

"Not that we've been able to see," Carlisle answered.

"Hmmmmmmmmm," Dimitri said, inspecting me at closer range.

Rosalie got in his face, almost spitting fire.

"Rose," Esme cautioned.

Dimitri looked amused. Melanie came up to his side and bared her teeth at Rose.

"She's really not all _that_ interesting," Ricard put in from the couch, sullen.

"Hush, youngling."

He scowled at Melanie.

"You're supposed to be the charming one," Dimitri said as an aside to Melanie.

She shrugged. "They're already prejudiced beforehand. I think _that one's_ helping them to block me, somehow," she nodded toward Jasper.

"Of course," Dimitri murmured. "Perhaps we've underestimated his power."

Jasper smiled dangerously.

"Anyway, the girl's powers aren't that cool. We already have people who can do what she can do, just better," Ricard redirected them.

"Perhaps you're right, Ricard."

They all gazed at me for a moment more, and then almost in unison decided on something.

"We will discuss with Aro what we have seen. Until we meet again," Dimitri said formally.

They took their leave gracefully, making sure to look each of us in the eye.

As soon as they left Jacob bounded in and wrapped me in a bear hug.

"I was so worried," he breathed into my hair, and kissed it.

"Everything's okay, thank God," I said, and pulled myself out of his embrace.

He held onto my hand, and then looked down at it. The ring sparkled almost ostentatiously (or maybe that was just what it looked like to me) against the tan of his fingers.

"So, can you give this back to the bloodsucker now? Unless…" Jake trailed off, and he clenched his other hand.

I cleared my throat. My parents were suddenly at my side, Rose behind us.

"I think we just all need a breather right now, after our recent guests," my mom said.

"Sure, sure, Bella," Jake said, and turned away.

I slipped the ring off my finger and handed it back to Nahuel.

"Thank You," I told him, looking into his eyes.

"I am pleased everything turned out," he said sincerely, and kissed the inside of my wrist.

I walked into the kitchen put a hand to my throat. Sitting down on a stool, I closed my eyes. A tap on the counter made me open my eyes, and Alice was there with a glass of lemonade.

"Thanks, Alice."

"You look like you could use a little sugar."

I sipped the lemonade and felt marginally better.

"Suit up, buttercup, that was only half of it," Jasper added, coming in behind Alice.

"You'll help me?" I asked him, suddenly a little more nervous.

"Of course he will," Alice said for him.

Jasper, who had his mouth open to respond, closed it and looked at her, amused.

"Is your name Jasper?" he smirked at her.

"She didn't direct it with a name," Alice sniffed.

Jasper laughed and put his head to hers.

"You guys are so cute," I said sourly.

Alice stuck her tongue out.

"You okay, baby?" Rose said, joining us. She rubbed my back and sat on a stool next to mine.

I smiled at her. "I think, yes."

"We're all here," Alice assured me.

"And I know you picked the right choice," Rose added.

"Rose," Alice sighed.

"What! I'm sure she doesn't want furry little monsters running around chewing up the furniture," Rose retorted.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, time to tell the lucky guy he's won the prize?" Jasper added jovially.

"I suppose," I said, a bit reluctant.

"Come on, it's not that bad," Alice told me.

"It sucks."

Rose made a noise in her throat.

"Hop to it! It's rude to make people wait," Alice said, poking me.

I grumbled and pushed open the door to the living room. My mom sat with Jacob on the couch, talking with him. My dad and Nahuel stood by the window in the back. Emmett lounged against the piano, watching to see if anyone needed a good tumble.

"Okay," I said, clapping my hands together once as I entered.

Everyone looked up, and I could see Jacob's face set. Nahuel smoothed his features into a neutral mask.

"Just do it, quick and painless" Alice whispered, "Well, relatively painless at least."

* * *

_~Who will it be? What will happen? Keep reading...Cheers!~_


	35. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

I looked at the angel of my salvation. She looked exhausted. This decision had really been tearing her apart. My conscious berated me, knowing that it was partially my fault to cause her the anxiety. I did not know what happened when she left, but to involve the Volturi it must have been serious. My thoughts darkened, thinking of the episode that had happened not half an hour before. I was glad my presence had provided a service. The ring had look so lovely on her finger, and my pride had swelled, knowing she wore a symbol of my love for her.

Alice whispered to her, and her eyes glazed a little. She nodded, and her lips parted.

"I think I need to do this with both of you here."

I started toward her, and sat next to her on the couch. She took one of my hands in hers, and she held the wolf-man's with the other.

"I went through an immense amount of pain during the past number of days," she started, and her muscles clenched a little. "It felt like I was literally splitting in two, and I had to pick only half of myself to live with. It was…"she let out a breath, "It was the worst experience in my life, actually. I can't imagine not living with one of you. I even contemplated splitting the year in half and living with one and then switching to the other." She laughed shakily.

"Like Persephone," I said softly.

Renesmee nodded. I wondered who would be her darkness and her light, if she did split her year between us.

"I barely stayed sane, but, in the end I had a…difficult talk with a close family friend and she helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I realized that although I love both of you dearly," She paused, and seemed incapable of forming words for a moment "Although I love both of you in a crazy way, I cannot stay with both of you until the end of my life in the same way. God, am I even making sense?" She asked, looking toward the ceiling.

"I just, I don't want to lose one of you," She looked into my eyes, and then turned to look at the wolf.

I prepared myself for either my greatest pain or my greatest happiness. It would not matter, as either way I would want her happiness above mine.

"I can only say yes to one of your engagements."

My breathing stopped, and I stole myself into serenity. It was for the best that she make this decision without any repercussions. I would have to restrain myself either way. I could see the wolf-man becoming tense. He would start trembling soon, I knew. He would have to be restrained.

"You have to both promise me to _not. Freak. Out._" Renesmee emphasized.

"Of course," I told her.

"Sure, sure," the wolf-man responded.

He was contemptuous.

"I just, I feel like...I've dragged this out long enough. I've decided to go with Nahuel."

I looked at her in disbelief.

"Truly?" I asked her.

Shock saturated my core. She smiled sheepishly and nodded.

"What?" Jacob yelled, jumping up.

I turned to confront him. He came at me and I locked him in a grip.

"Jacob, please," Renesmee pleaded.

"You'd rather be with this _bloodsucking leech_ than be with _me_? Are you _insane_? Or maybe Blondie over there drugged you. What the _hell_ Renesmee. You decide to toy with me, make me believe we have something, and then just go waltzing away with the fangs instead."

His anger was unchecked. I pushed him father away from her and snarled.

"Relax, leech." Jacob put his hands in the air and stepped away from me in disgust.

"I'll still be around. Jeez, you're my gravity, Ren. But I will never accept this. I'll always keep trying for you."

With those final words the wolf left us. I could hear him thrashing through the woods, and that eerie slithering sound when he transformed. The rest of his pack joined him, and together they ran through the woods, often howling.

"What an abominable being," I said under my breath.

I turned toward Renesmee then, and she was looking forlornly out to the woods.

"I have to admit I was surprised at your choice," I informed her.

She turned to look at me, her eyes misty.

"I just couldn't do it any other way. I just wish it had gone better."

"It was inevitable, I presume. But, I'm ecstatic, of course, to be worthy of such a radiant creature," I murmured as I pulled her closer. My lips touched hers and there was applause.

"Ask her again, properly, this time!" Rosalie called out.

I chuckled, and bent down on one knee. "Renesmee Cullen, light of my life, love of my existence, will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my bride?"

"Yes."

She held out her hand, and I slipped the ring onto her finger, this time to leave it there for the rest of eternity. Her family applauded and then welcomed me into the family.

I ran through the trees so fast that all I could see was a green and brown blur. She picked the leech over me. It seemed like a bad rerun. The pain in me was too great. I thought being rejected by Bella was bad, but it was nothing like this. I was sure I was shattering into a million pieces. I could never forgive her for this, not ever.

_Jake, it's not like she doesn't love you…_

_SHUT UP._

This time I didn't care that I made them cringe away from the weight of the order. I was the Alpha, damn it, and I was going to get what I wanted.

* * *

_~Don't give up on me yet! I promise there's more sultry twists and turns with Jake to come! Cheers~_


	36. Chapter 35

_I decided I couldn't leave you lovelies with that awful cliffhanger. So here's Chapter 35 right on it's heels!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 35**

I stared dejectedly out at the ocean. I picked up another stone and launched it out over the cliff edge and into the water below. It had been a few days since Ren's announcement of her engagement with Nahuel, and I was still sour. Even my pack had been skirting around the edges.

Ren had been around, calling, asking to see me. She even drove out to the house once and knocked on the door. Pops had told her I was at the shop, and she left without complaint. She texted me and left me voice messages, but I wasn't having it. She had made her bed.

I scowled at the water. Close to a week, almost, since I'd seen her. It sucked.

"Stupid bloodsucker."

A soft crunch told me I had company.

"Go away, Leah."

"It's me, actually."

The wind shifted ever so slightly and I could smell the fruity perfume coming off her skin.

"I have nothing to say to you," I told her.

"That's okay, I'll do the talking."

"No! I don't want to hear whatever you're going to say. I don't want to hear it. You made your choice. I don't _want_ to talk to you."

She was quiet, just standing there. Finally I turned to look at her. There she was, staring at me, her hair in a messy bun on top of her head, turning red and gold in the light. She was wearing a faded t-shirt and cut-off jeans, and a necklace I had given her sometime when we were still talking. There was nothing special, it was just Ren. My breath caught in my throat.

"I brought the shirt you left at my house," she said offhandedly, and held out the folded piece of cloth.

"Sure, sure," I muttered.

She hugged the shirt to her chest and walked forward. When she was by my side she dropped down and crossed her legs, letting the shirt rest on her knees.

"I've missed you."

I snorted. "I bet the leech hasn't."

She frowned, staring at the water. "No, Nahuel hasn't."

We sat there for a few minutes.

"I guess I'll go, then. Here's your shirt." She dropped the shirt into my lap and stood.

As she was walking away I wavered. It felt like something was strangling me, and I finally turned.

"Wait! Don't go," I told her.

She turned back toward me, and her eyes were sad.

"Are you sure, Jake?"

"Stay with me."

She shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you."

My heart throbbed painfully in my chest. She was just so damn beautiful. She was everything I wanted, everything I _needed_. It was unfair. Why couldn't I just let her go? A clean break was all I needed, and I just kept picking the wound, letting it fester.

I nodded.

"I'm fine. I just want you to stay."

Why did I have to be so weak?

She looked skeptical but she came back to sit by me anyway. There was an awkward silence, and I toyed with the shirt in my lap. It was so nice having her by me, like I could actually breathe again. A giant weight was lifted off my chest, even if the ache inside increased.

"I can't believe you picked him."

"Jake, stop."

"It's disgusting."

"He warned me you were going to be like this."

"Like what?" I challenged her.

"Like a petulant child, Jake, same as you always are when you don't get your way."

"I'm not acting like a spoiled brat, Ren, I'm saying he's an abomination and you shouldn't be marrying him."

She was quiet, and then she turned to me.

"Does it ever cross your mind that he and I are the same, Jake? If he's an abomination than so am I."

"No – that's not what I meant!" Frustrated, I ran a hand through my hair.

"No, that's _exactly_ what you meant."

I gritted my teeth.

"I'm half vampire too, Jake. It's not something I can just reject."

"You don't kill people, Ren."

"Neither does he!"

"But he can! Don't you see! He can bite anyone, even _you_ and completely kill you. You're human, Ren, he can kill that part of you!"

We were both on our feet now, shouting.

"You don't know anything! You're just jealous because _you can't stand that I picked him and not you_!"

"You're right; it's my _pride_ holding me back. Not the fact that I love you so much it hurts, not the fact that I'm concerned for your health, it's because I lost." I scoffed.

"You suck, Jacob Black."

She turned and started to walk away.

"I'm not done." I grabbed her wrist.

"Don't touch me," she hissed, her face inches from mine. Her eyes were murderous.

"Then answer me this. What does that bloodsucking murderer have that I don't have?"

I could feel her elevated pulse against my fingertips.

"He doesn't have anything _more_ than you do, Jake. I can be myself with him. I don't have to _hide_ the fact that I'm a bloodsucking leech too!" She shouted into my face.

"You're not."

"Apparently I am, according to you."

"Damnit Ren! What the hell is wrong with you? You're more human than vampire, and that's why you belong with me and not _him_."

"How dare you tell me who I should be with!"

With that she pushed me _hard._ I lost my footing and felt the edge of the ledge against my foot. She gave one final push and I went over, falling fast towards the ocean. I swore and righted myself, going into a dive before I hit the water. Another splash told me that I had pulled Ren with me. I surfaced and searched for her. She emerged from the water, spluttering.

"Are you alright?" I asked her, swimming over.

"Fine," she replied, rubbing the water from her eyes.

"I guess we made quite the scene up there, didn't we?" I asked her with a grin.

She smiled back. "I guess so."

"What do you say – even?"

She glared.

"I promise to be good." I blinked at her from under my eyelashes.

She laughed and splashed water at me.

"Sure, sure."

I laughed and hugged her. "Jeez, I've missed you Ren."

"You too, Jake."

We swam toward shore and made our way back up to the cliff. My shirt was still there, folded and sitting near the edge. I grabbed it and Ren found her purse, and then we followed the trail down the cliff. Ren looked around the parking lot by the beach.

"How'd you get here?" She asked me, her green eyes alert.

"I ran."

"Hmm."

"I could go get my bike…"

She rolled her eyes. "Please, I got here the same way."

I shrugged. "Let's go, then."

We ran to my house, the wind cutting into our wet clothes. By the time we got home both of us were freezing.

"I'll get you a change of clothes," I told Ren.

She nodded and stood shivering in my living room. I grabbed a towel out of the closet and handed it to her.

"Dry off, first."

She wrapped the towel around herself while I continued down to my room. I rummaged around and found a shirt someone had given me in a size that was too small. I found a pair of boxers she could wear as shorts and then turned around to walk them back to the living room. Ren was standing in my doorway, though, so I didn't have to go far.

"Thanks," she whispered as I handed her everything.

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. In a minute she was out, the towel wrapped around her wet hair instead.

"Better?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Good. I'm gonna take a shower, so it'll be a few minutes," I told her. I was suddenly conscious that it had been a couple of days since I'd really put an effort in my appearance.

"Right. I'll just…be here." She sat down on my bed.

I was done in record time, and I pulled on a new set of clothes. I tossed the towel into a basket and took the few steps to my room.

"I'm fine, honey, I'm just waiting for him to get back. Yes, of course. No, I'm fine. I'm _fine_." She played with the ring on her left hand. "I'll call you later when I'm done here. Mhmm. Okay. I love you too. Bye." Ren hung up her phone and placed it back in her purse.

"Was that lover boy?" I asked her.

"Um, yea. He was getting worried." She brushed her hair with her fingers.

"I bet. A wolf isn't nearly as safe as something with fangs." I crossed my arms.

She sighed. "I guess I should go."

"No, I promised I'd behave. That was the last quip, I promise."

"Uh-huh," she said, skeptical. "Anyway, I just wanted to return your shirt and say hi, and sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

Her eyebrows met her hairline. "Could've fooled me."

I stared at the wall in front of me. She waited. I worked my jaw a little. It was hard doing this, but I had to do it. I had to keep Ren in my life.

"I'm sorry. I guess I was acting like kind of a jerk."

"Kind of?"

"Okay, a really really big jerk. I'm sorry. It was just…a surprise."

"Yeah," she said simply.

I looked at her then and grinned. "You forgive me?"

"Always, Jacob Black."

She pushed her way past me and gave me a quick hug. Then she grabbed her wet clothes, her purse, and got into her car. I watched her drive away, waving until she was gone. The throbbing in my chest hurt, but it wasn't as bad as the last time I'd been without her. There were still months before the wedding, maybe even a year. There was still time to get her back.


	37. Chapter 36

_~For those of you getting restless, please stay with me for a few more chapters! I **promise** it will be worth your while. Cheers!~_**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 36 **

I put the car into park and started to open my door. A figure stood up from the porch and bounded over to my side.

"Hi, Nahuel," I smiled at him.

"Mmm. The love of my existence," He greeted me, picking me up and twirling me around.

I laughed, and held onto him tightly. He was the doting fiancé, always ready to make me happy with anything I wanted. My stomach flipped at the thought of our impending wedding. I would be with him forever, and for a second it was a gut-wrenching prospect.

His nose wrinkled. "You smell awful."

"Sorry," I muttered, stepping away from him. I held Jacob's shirt between two fingers. "It must be his shirt. Mine got wet, so he gave me an extra set."

Nahuel frowned and took in what I was wearing. The shirt was big for me, and I had had to roll the boxers underneath multiple times before they were halfway decent, but even then the shirt managed to cover all but a millimeter of them, which gave the appearance of me not really wearing anything at all.

"You look like you're not wearing anything," Nahuel commented, mirroring my thoughts.

"Unfortunately," I grimaced.

"Or not so unfortunately, for me at least."

His eyes were mischievous as he brought his face closer to mine. I blushed and looked down. He chuckled and pulled my face up to his, crushing his lips against mine. Then he broke away, grimacing.

"I'm sorry, I'll go change," I told him, stepping away.

"I'm terribly sorry," he replied, "It burns quite lethally."

I laughed at him and made my way down the side path to the cottage. He walked with me, but always upwind. We got to the threshold in my room and I dove into my closet. Grabbing some clothes, I changed and made my way back to him.

"Better?" I asked.

He sniffed, and wrinkled his nose slightly. I grabbed some perfume and spritzed it on.

"Better." He confirmed, pulling me closer. His eyes glanced over to the pile of clothing. "We might have to burn them."

I rolled my eyes and pulled him to the living room.

"How was it?" He asked me, ever polite.

"You don't have to ask," I told him.

We sat down on the couch, and he pulled me into his side, propped my legs across his knees.

"I want to know."

"Fine. It went horribly. He accused me of marrying someone detrimental to my health, and I pushed him over a cliff." Nahuel's eyebrows rose. "There was water, you know, way down, and his falling actually pulled me in, too." Nahuel growled a bit. "But it was fine, I was wet, you know, but fine. We made up after that."

"I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too."

"I was getting anxious."

I pecked Nahuel's cool check. "Always the worrier."

"With due reason," He amended.

Snuggling deeper into his side, I sighed contently. He stroked my hair and hummed a little. A rap came on the doorframe, and I looked up. My mother came in and smiled at us. Alice skipped in right behind her.

"All right! Time to get down to business! I assume I'm organizing the wedding? Great! Now, I've bought this wedding notebook to save all our ideas and get things organized…" In a flash Alice was sitting on an adjacent ottoman, and she trailed off as she flipped through a bridal magazine she had brought with her.

Nahuel and I stared at her in silence, and then I burst out laughing. Nahuel chuckled in his deep bell-like tones, and Alice looked up at us in frustration.

"This is no laughing matter! A week's gone by already, and"

"Alice," My mother cut her off.

"Well, she's right. Places get booked up fast, Bella," Aunt Rose said, coming into the cottage.

"Not the Cullen Mansion, Rose," My mother fired back.

Rose sniffed and sat down in another chair.

"I'm so happy you two are getting married." she smiled sweetly at us.

"Rose," my mother warned.

"What? I'm just sharing my happiness with them. No need to jump on my back."

My mother gave her a look, and then proceeded down the hall to her room. Alice was flipping through the magazine and writing comments down in a steno pad.

"Really, Aunt Alice, our wedding isn't for _months_ yet, I'm sure there will be time…"

"Time is money, Renesmee. The more time we wait the more expensive things get!"

"Alice, I think maybe we should let everyone get accustomed to the idea of our engagement before we start planning the wedding. Renesmee is right, everything may happen in due course. Huilen has yet to receive her letter announcing the occasion. Let us give everyone time to celebrate, first," Nahuel added.

Alice considered. Her short black hair had disappeared and was now chestnut brown. Her golden eyes flitted back and forth as she thought about the possibility.

"I'm accustomed to it already," Rose said loftily from her seat.

"Rose," my mother's warning floated from the hall.

"_Really_, Bella," Rose said under her breath.

Alice snapped her fingers. "Alright. I'm giving you two weeks more. By then everyone will have received their letter and celebrated enough. _Two weeks._ Then we're getting down to business. This is no game."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, Alice."

She harrumphed in my direction and then took off towards the house.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To get fabric samples! _You_ may be into dawdling, but I most certainly am _not!_"

Giggling, I turned to Rose. She clapped gleefully.

"So, am I the maid of honor?"

My face fell as I looked at her. She looked unsure, and then leaned toward me.

"Well, I suppose Alice could, as well…"

I laughed. "Of course it's you! Alice will have enough to do, and I'm sure mom and Esme would want to watch."

She smiled again, and jumped up. "I'll go help Alice pick out dress samples," she said, and flew out the door.

Nahuel chuckled, and my head vibrated against his chest.

"I love your family. They're so alive."

"More like crazy, you mean."

"It's nice," He confirmed.

My mother stepped out with a load of fresh towels. She made a face.

"Ren? Why does your room smell like wet dog?"

Nahuel angled his head down.

"I told you we should have burned them."

I sighed and hopped up from the couch. I ran into my room, collected the borrowed clothes, and threw them into the washing machine. I reached up to get the detergent, and emptied a whole capful on top of it. After a moment's thought I dumped another half-cap into it and put it on the "sanitize" setting.

Then I decided to tackle my room. I grabbed the Swifter from the closet and mopped the wood floor.

"There," I said, "all done."

"It does smell better," Nahuel agreed.

I put the wet mop away and joined him to stand in the center of my room.

"We don't have a picture up, yet," he commented, staring at my picture wall.

I followed his gaze and was startled to see that he was right. I had several of me and Jacob, and the rest of my friends and family, but none of me and Nahuel.

"You're on my nightstand," I said a bit defensively.

He walked over to the small niche and picked up the frame. It was my favorite picture of us. It had been taken when we were in South America, deep in the jungle, and he had grabbed me from behind under a waterfall. Both of us were laughing, and it emanated such pure happiness that I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at it.

He sat down on my bed and stretched back on it, setting the picture off on the side. He patted the comforter next to him and I sat and bounced a couple times.

"Tell me something about you," He said, turning his face to mine.

"Well, my name's Renesmee, and…"

"No, something I've never heard before."

I looked at his dark gold eyes and blurted it out before I'd given it a second thought.

"Sometimes I wish I had been created."

There was a sudden silence as both of us stopped breathing. I berated myself for being so completely stupid. Nahuel didn't ask for an explanation. He knew exactly what I'd meant – I wished that I had been born human and turned into a vampire, and not born as half one.

"I shouldn't have…"

I left it hanging there. There was no possible way to take it back.

"Why?" He whispered hoarsely.

"Because," I started, and then laid down on the bed, parallel to him. It was easier to speak to the ceiling. "I just, I want to see what it's like. Isn't that horrible? But I've always been curious – what's it like to live as a human? A full human, and then turned into this creature that thirsts for blood? This glorious, magnificent creature that time cannot touch? I just want to experience both sides completely, just to see what it's like."

I reviewed what I'd said. "That's a selfish reason, isn't it?" I added as an afterthought.

Nahuel rolled over, bracing one arm over me. He kissed me softly on my temple, and then my cheek, and then my lips. My breath caught in my throat.

"I don't know how you could be more complex," he murmured. His eyes were smoldering. "I think I see the whole of you, and then you flummox me with another aspect of yourself so deep I do not know how I do not just fall into the well you make. For surely no one could have more facets than a diamond and shine this brightly."

"I don't understand how one can be so poetic about such a horrid statement," I replied.

He smiled a breathtaking smile. "And yet you find me to be perfectly acceptable."

"You're more than acceptable."

"Hmmmm. I differ on that subject, but let it not be for the moment," He said softly as his lips met my throat.

I huffed and flipped him over onto his back, bracing one arm over him.

"I don't know why you carry on with it," I growled at him.

He had the audacity to shrug.

"You're a wonderful person."

He smirked at me.

"You are the person who makes me the happiest."

He frowned. "Don't allow yourself to think like that, please."

"Why not?" I demanded. "You hold me in high regard,"

"The highest," he amended.

"But I'm not allowed to do the same of you? That's not fair."

"You are ethereal. I am not."

I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on his chest. "Spare me."

"That I intend to do."

He reached up and kissed me on the lips, and I let our argument go for now. I relished our closeness, and pretty soon I realized that I was back on my back again, and Nahuel was gently supporting me. Our kisses became more heated, until I was at the verge of something more. I fingered one of his buttons and he pulled my hand away. He let me down gently on the bed and then rolled to the other side, sitting away from me.

It took us a moment to catch our breath.

"I know you wanted to," I accused him.

He laughed. "Of course I did, I would just prefer to wait."

I sighed. "So would I."

He looked at me, quizzical.

It was my turn to laugh, but I felt my face go beet red at the same time.

"I, um, well I know you've had practice but…" I trailed off.

"But?"

"I haven't."

"And you're scared?"

"A little."

"You'll be fine."

I doodled on my bed with my finger, not bearing to look at him. _God, how come I had to tell him that? Couldn't I have just waited until I opened my big fat mouth?_ I was humiliated that I had tattled on myself. He probably thought it was pathetic.

Nahuel's tanned hand came into my field of vision and wrapped around mine. His thumb rubbed the back of my hand and he brought his face close.

"You'll be fine, I promise. I'll help you."

I looked up at him to see he had a huge grin on his face, and his eyes glinted wickedly.

"Oh my God, Nahuel." I slapped his arm and laughed.

He chuckled and mussed my hair.

"Come on, let's see about dinner."


	38. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

It was about a week after my humiliating confession to Nahuel that _it_ happened. I woke up one morning and went to the bathroom, and found an unwelcomed guest in my underwear.

The bright red blotch stared at me balefully.

"I hate you," I told it.

Silence.

Then I heard footsteps in the hall.

"Renesmee?" My mother asked.

"No! Don't come in! I'm so sorry!" I yelled to her, searching the cupboards for something to use.

"It's okay, sweetie."

My mom stood in the doorway, not breathing.

"No! Go away! It's easier for you…"

I slammed cupboards and drawers, panicking when I couldn't find anything. I turned to the roll of toilet paper and began folding wads of it together.

"Honey, please," my mom said, wrinkling her nose. She held out a pack of pads to me. "Alice saw this morning," she explained.

I breathed a sigh of relief and ripped one open.

"This sucks," I told her.

"Well, at least you don't get it every month, be thankful for that."

I snorted. "I would rather not have it at all."

I walked back into my room and yanked open my closet. I packed a duffel bag. My mother conveniently disappeared as I went around my room, collecting the things I would need in a resigned air.

"Ren?"

_Oh, God._

"Please don't come near me, Nahuel."

He paused in the doorway.

"Are you hurt?" he asked me, concerned.

"Um, no."

"Then what…?" He trailed off.

"I have my period."

It took a second for that to sink it. Then, his eyes widened and his mouth parted a little.

"Oh."

"Yep," I said, pseudo cheerful, "Mother Nature's greatest gift."

He chuckled nervously.

"Don't worry, there's a standard procedure," I informed him. "It doesn't come every month, but it comes every few or so. When it does happen I pack away the things I'll need and I go stay somewhere else. It's a lot easier that way."

"Are you sure…?" He seemed doubtful.

I twisted my mouth in a semblance of a smile.

"It's okay, you don't need to prove your manliness. It's easier if I go away."

I pecked him on the cheek as I went out, noticing that he wasn't breathing.

"I'll call you," I told him.

My parents were in the living room, and I waved as I double-timed it out the door.

I ran to my car, threw my duffel in the back, and backed out as fast as I could. I made my way down the coast and stopped in front of a little house surrounded by trees. I couldn't stay with Charlie unless I wanted to be locked in the house all the time, even if he would be thrilled to see me, so this was the next best thing I could think of.

Making my way up the three bowed steps to the peeling front door, I thought of how I was going to explain my situation. This was embarrassing enough. I rapped my knuckles on the door and waited. The squeak of wheels came from inside the house, and then the sound of a lock being turned, and then the door swung open.

"Hi, Mr. Black."

Billy looked at me and grinned, his face flowing together in familiar ease.

"Hi there, Ren. I keep telling you to call me Billy. Come on in, come on in," he said jovially as he waved me into the house.

I stepped in and slid past his wheelchair to make it to the living room.

"I'm afraid Jake's out right now, but make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you." I sat down into their dilapidated sofa.

"Haven't seen you in a while," He said, eyeing me.

I smiled apologetically. _Here we go,_ I thought.

"Well, I was by two weeks ago to see Jake…"

"Yeah, he was pretty heartbroken about the whole…_situation._"

"I'm terribly sorry about that," I said to the floor, blushing.

There was silence for a moment.

"Well, I suppose you know how he feels, so there's nothing I can say to change anything."

I breathed a little easier.

"I _am_ sorry, but Jake's still my best friend, and I really didn't want to hurt him…"

Billy waved a hand at me. "It's in the past."

He rolled over to the refrigerator. "Want anything?"

"Is there any chocolate?" I asked, sitting up.

"Yea, we have a whole stash here. Jake bought some bars a while back from a guy's kid at the shop. We don't really eat the stuff, but it was for a fundraiser. Help yourself." He tossed me one.

"Thanks," I smiled at him.

It was so easy being at their house. As I was unwrapping the chocolate Billy pulled on a jacket.

"Jake should be back soon. I'm going over to watch the game at someone's house, but I'll leave you here to surprise him." He winked at me and closed the door behind him.

I ate the chocolate bar and wandered down the hall to Jake's room. It was small and crammed full of his life story, but it was nice, cozy. He had a small shelf filled with books, but most of it was taken up by car magazines. I let my eyes rove over pictures of his sisters, his nieces and nephews, his friends through the years, and even a small row of school pictures. I laughed at a few of when he was younger, his hair sticking up like a porcupine's. I closed his door a little to see the pictures behind it. One in particular caught my eye, and I was startled when I realized who it was taken of. A handsome man stood in front of a lake, his arm around a beautiful young woman. In front of them stood two little girls, dressed alike, their hair in short braids. The girls couldn't be more than three years old. I almost didn't recognize Billy without the wheelchair, and the woman beside him could only be Jacob's mother. The two girls in front were obviously his twin sisters. I smiled and felt my eyes get misty.

The front door opened. I quickly ran down the hall and stopped by the kitchen. Jacob whipped his head around, startled at the movement.

"Hi," I said.

"Ren?"

"I hope so," I responded.

He came over and picked me up into a hug.

"You smell like car," I informed him.

"I was at the shop." He shrugged.

He went to the fridge and grabbed a soda.

"I see you found the chocolate stash," He said, eyeing the half-eaten bar in my hand.

"Your dad showed me."

We made our way over to the couch. Jacob saw the duffel bag and stopped, turning to look at me.

"What's up?"

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Oh, so there's no reason for the duffel bag that randomly appeared in the middle of my living room to be there?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

I sighed. "Don't laugh."

"I can't promise that. Tell me what it is first."

"You're going to laugh," I said under my breath.

"Tell me first, and then I'll think about it," he countered.

"I have my…cycle, so I can't stay at home," I paused, "for obvious reasons. So I was wondering if I could bunk here until I could go home again?"

Jacob stared at me, and then a slow smile spread across his face.

"Are you seriously telling me that you can't go home because you have your period?"

"Yes."

He chuckled. "And you do this, what, every month?"

"No."

"No?"

I sighed and crossed my arms. "It doesn't happen every month, Jake."

"But when it does happen you have to run away from home?"

"I wouldn't call it running away…"

He burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, that's just too bizarre to _not_ laugh at. Come on!"

He held his stomach. I stood there, glaring at him.

"It's. Not. Funny."

He wiped his eyes. "It kind of is."

"No. It's. _Not_." I seethed.

He shook his head and then pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry."

I stood still, with my arms folded.

"Come on, Ren. I'm not laughing at _you_. I'm laughing at _them_ for not being able to handle it…especially the freak-a-zoid."

"It's not funny! It's horrible. I'm so embarrassed that I have to be quarantined every single time." I stamped my foot.

"You don't have to be quarantined here," Jacob said, his face serious.

"So I can stay?"

"Of course you can stay, Ren. Jeez, what a question to ask." He shook his head at me.

"Thank you," I said as I hugged him back.

He chuckled. I stomped on his foot.

"Ow! Okay, last one! I promise!"

I looked at him and smirked. "Okay, so where am I sleeping?" I asked him.

He waggled his eyebrows. "In my bed, of course."

My eyes narrowed.

"Not with me in it! Unless you want me to keep you warm."

I smacked him.

"_Kidding_, Ren. You got to learn to lighten up. Too much vampire time has made you seriously dead. Get it?" He laughed at his own joke.

I rolled my eyes and followed him down the hallway. I swear I was going to get eye strain by the end of my time here.

"Let me do some laundry first though," he said, stripping the bed.

"Are you sure you want your bed to smell like vampire?" I asked sarcastically.

Jacob snorted. "It'll smell like you," he contradicted.

I let it drop, and moved aside so he could get to the washing machine tower in the bathroom.

When he emerged he clapped his hands. "Okay, what to do first?"

"Sleep," I suggested.

When I really looked at him I noticed that Jacob looked exhausted. He always looked like he could get a few nights sleep.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm up for anything."

"Why don't we just order some pizzas and watch TV?"

"Sure."

I called a pizza place and ordered a pizza for each of us, along with some drinks. Jacob picked out a movie while I paid the delivery guy, and we settled down to watch.

"It's so weird doing this so early in the day," I commented.

Jacob drew the curtains across the windows and sat down next to me on the floor, our backs leaning against the couch.

"Yeah, well, we're weird people, so I guess it works."

"True story."

We dug in and watched the movie in comfortable silence. It was thankfully an action movie, so there were no awkward moments in regards to romantic scenes. We were done with the pizza halfway through, and just as Jacob was throwing away the boxes a knock came on the door.

He peeked out the curtain and walked around to unlock the front door.

"Hey guys, come on in."

Quil, Embry, and Seth walked in the door.

"Where's Leah?" Jacob asked.

"Out with Liam on a date," Seth answered.

Then they all saw me. I had sat up on the couch, watching them, not sure how they would react to seeing me again after what had happened.

Quil and Embry stopped still. Seth smiled a little at me.

"Hi, guys," I said nervously.

Embry glared. Quil crossed his arms. Seth looked like he was trying to melt into the wall, poor guy.

"Guys," Jake warned.

They relaxed their poses but didn't move any farther into the house.

"Guys, c'mon, I said we were all good now," Jake said, exasperated.

"What's she doing here?" Quil asked.

"She needs a place to stay for a while."

"What, the half-breed isn't taking a shine to her?" Embry sneered.

"Are you serious?" I snapped.

"C'mon, everyone, can't we just…" Seth tried to keep the peace.

"If he's a half-breed than so am I. God, why does this keep coming up! It's ridiculous. I'm human here, I'm vampire there, what does it matter! I'm _me_. If that isn't acceptable then I'm out of here."

I grabbed the duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder. Jacob stopped me.

"We had a talk about this. We forgave each other. And if each of you doesn't _shut up and be nice_ I'm going to have to do something we'll all regret."

"Jacob, she broke you into a thousand pieces, forget your heart, she broke _you_." Embry said stiffly.

Quil turned to me. "Do you understand what imprinting is Renesmee? It's this whole paradigm shift. It's like, the world you've been waking up to everyday is just an illusion, and once _the one_ comes along, everything comes into focus. Happiness wasn't really happiness until you were with her. Love wasn't really love. It's this whole repositioning of the way you think. She becomes the person you'd give your life for. You become her protector. And yet, no matter how bad she hurts you, you still love her with your whole, broken soul."

I turned to Jacob. "Is that really how it is?"

"More or less." He shrugged.

Quil muttered something to Embry in an undertone. "That's exactly how it is."

I ignored him. "I did that to you?"

"Twice, now, but who's counting."

"I shouldn't have come here." I said, putting a hand on his arm.

"Touching just increases the pain," Quil commented.

I jerked my hand away and glared at Quil.

"Damn it Quil, _leave it alone,_" Jacob growled.

"We can't watch you tear yourself apart, man. You keep getting every little hit you can get, and then it just makes it worse later on," Embry told him.

"That's it – get out," Jacob growled at them.

"No."

Both of them stubbornly planted their feet.

"Now," Jacob seethed.

"Not until little Ms. Sunshine gets her act together."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Either you admit that you love Jacob or you don't. You can't keep playing him like this and seeing him on the side. It's cruel."

"They have no idea what they're talking about," Jacob told me.

"I think Quil has some experience in these matters," I said coolly.

"He's not me," Jake said roughly.

I looked at Quil and Embry. "Look, I know it's been rough. I know that I've hurt Jacob, but I've hurt me too. I love him, I've never denied that. I'm just more compatible with Nahuel. Jake and I fight like cats and dogs, but we love each other. But I just can't live like that for the rest of my life. It's better if we have a little space."

Embry scoffed.

"Look, if you don't like it, butt out. This is between Jake and me."

"And us. We're linked through our minds in wolf form, remember. And we've had enough pain on the first go around thank you very much."

"Alright. That's it," I said angrily, "Let's go. You and me, let's go."

"What?" Embry's eyes popped open.

"Let's tumble, wolf," I spat at him.

"What? Wait, no. _NO._ Ren are you crazy?" Jacob said, stepping in front of me.

"Let me do this, Jake. He obviously isn't going to butt out, so maybe this will help put his feelings to rest."

"I won't allow it."

"I'm not asking for permission."

He set his jaw. "No."

I punched him in the gut and ducked under his arm. I grabbed Embry on the way out and pulled him out the door.

"Go change," I waved my arm towards the woods in dismissal.

He sneered at me and then went off around the house.

"Embry! Wait! No!" Jake called out to him. He rounded are me. "Are you stupid?"

"No, I'm angry."

He tore off to the woods after Embry.


	39. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

I couldn't believe she was willing to do this. It was completely irrational, and stupid. My blood boiled that Embry actually was going along with it. I ripped off my clothes and threw them. I was already in wolf form before they hit the ground. I tore back around the house.

Embry and Renesmee faced off in a dirt clearing between the house and the shed. They were sheltered from the road, and the trees started a few feet behind Renesmee. Wolf-Embry growled, his fur standing on end. I growled, menacing. I stalked up behind Ren and stood over her, warning him with my stance. Embry bared his teeth, his ears flat against his skull. Through our linked minds I could feel his anger at my pain, and his desire for revenge.

_Embry, don't do this._

_I can't help it Jake, she's ruining us._

_She's my life._

_She's your ultimate drug, you mean. She causes pain. She's a demon._

Wolf-Embry growled, and Ren shifted forward slightly into a defensive-offensive position.

_Don't do this to me._

Silence. Wolf-Embry stalked forward and bared his teeth.

_Stop. I command you not to do this. You can't hurt her._

Wolf-Embry growled.

_STOP RIGHT NOW._

Wolf-Embry whined, and lowered his head as he slowly sat. He licked his muzzle anxiously and glared at Ren.

I sighed and nudged Ren from behind. When she turned her head to glance backward I shook my head.

"What?" She asked me.

"He's ordered Embry not to fight. It's against our law to hurt the people we've imprinted on anyway, so I don't get how he planned to get away with this tumble," Seth explained, obviously relieved.

_She hurts us. _Embry said sullenly through our mind.

_I love her._

With that I turned around and phased back in the woods. When I came back out Embry was gone.

"He left," Seth said simply.

Quil came up to me and held out a fist.

"Sorry about that, man, but she is seriously taking a toll on all of us."

I nodded and pounded his fist.

"I know. I'm working on it."

Quil nodded. "I don't what I'd do if it was this way between Claire and me."

"Try to get her back," I said, grinning.

He nodded and exhaled, smiling back.

"Yeah, I guess. Well, I better go catch up with him, sort him out." He nodded towards the trees.

"Do that. And make sure he gets his shoes back."

"That's what we have Seth for," Quil said, giving Seth a noogie.

"Hey!" Seth whined.

"Drive the truck back with our stuff, kid. I'll go after Embry."

"Sure, sure," Seth grumbled.

I nodded to them and went back into the house, where Ren had gone.

She was standing in the living room, her duffel slung over her shoulder.

"I just stayed to say thanks. I really didn't want to hurt Embry, he's a cool guy."

"You're leaving?" I asked, trying to keep my emotions in check.

"It's probably for the best. I don't want to keep hurting everyone." She closed her eyes.

When she opened them again they were over-bright, like they were filled with tears.

"It's getting dark. Why don't you just stay the night? You can leave tomorrow."

She hesitated.

"Please," I begged.

"Okay."

"Great!"

I went down the hall to get the stuff from the dryer and re-make my bed. It was wrinkled, but I didn't care. Ren was safe, and she was staying. When I was done I rejoined her in the living room, and saw that she looked pensive.

"What are you thinking of?" I asked her.

"What?"

"You're chewing your lip. It's disappeared almost completely. It means you're thinking really hard about something."

She popped her lip back out and smiled at me.

"You don't miss anything do you?" She said, giving me a half-hearted smile.

I waited.

"I was just thinking…about imprinting. I guess I just really don't know what it's about. I thought I did, but after what Quil said I don't think I understand it fully."

I ran a hand through my hair. "And you want me to explain it?"

She nodded, folding her feet up under her. I sat down next to her on the sofa and grabbed a curl from her hair. It turned gold in the light, and I let it fall from my fingers almost reverently.

"Maybe I could show you instead?" I asked hopefully.

She grabbed my hand almost eagerly, and looked into my eyes. I flashed through a bunch of things and then settled on what would explain it the best.

I nodded. "Ready."

It was slight, but I felt the almost electric current between us, and a weird buzzing in my head. I struggled to explain the full depth of imprinting to her, but finally just settled on memories or things that seemed insignificant but that brought me the most joy, like how she said my name, or when I was in a crap mood but she was happy and I would share in her happiness. I showed her things from when she was little and things that had happened recently. I showed her that I loved her even in my pain, and my love was ever-changing. I could be whatever she wanted me to be, whenever she needed me. I would go for days or weeks or months or years without caring about my own welfare, as long as she was okay.

When I was done she stopped the connection between us but kept her hand in mine.

"Oh, Jake," she said quietly.

"Don't you 'oh, Jake' me, missy. You wanted to know what imprinting was, so I tried my best to convey it." I tried to keep the tone light.

"Thank you."

"Sure, sure."

I pulled her up. She groaned and rubbed her legs.

"Sore?" I asked her.

"No, they're asleep!" She complained.

I laughed and pulled her back down, placing her legs across my own. I began massaging her legs, and she kept absolutely still. After a minute I stopped.

"Better?" I asked.

"Um, yeah, thanks."

"No problem."

She leaned back against the armrest and bent her legs so her feet rested next to my thigh on the cushion.

"Where's your dad?"

"I assume he conveniently crashed at his friend's house after the game to give us some privacy."

"Everyone's rooting for you, huh."

"I guess so."

She sighed, and swung upright.

"I suppose I better get to bed."

I glanced at the clock. It was only nine o'clock.

"Really? This early?"

She shrugged. "I haven't been sleeping, to tell you the truth."

"Since when?"

"Oh, I don't know. Three weeks?"

"Go sleep. I'll just crash out here."

"Thanks, Jake," she said, and waved goodnight.

I waited until she was all settled and then went to wash up in the bathroom. I grabbed a blanket on the way back to the living room and settled down on the couch. In a few seconds I was asleep.

It was the middle of the night when I woke. Something was making a sound. I lay still, trying to determine where it was coming from. It was this weird keening sound, and then whispering. I listened closely but couldn't make anything out. I rolled out of the couch and listened again.

"…horrible, little maggot. You should've left when you had the chance. You're a horrible person. No, you're not even a person. Pain is the only thing that you cause…"

The chain of whispering stopped when I stepped forward onto a squeaky floorboard.

"Ren?" I asked.

Silence greeted my inquiry.

I walked down the short hallway to my room and pushed open the door that was slightly ajar. Ren sat up, holding the sheet up to her.

"Hi, Jake. I hope I didn't wake you."

Her cheeks were flushed.

"Are you okay?" I went toward her, concerned.

She shook her head and put a hand up to her cheek.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Me, Jake, that's what."

"There's nothing wrong with you," I told her.

"Yes there is Jake. I hurt you."

"I hurt myself, Ren."

She made that weird keening noise I had heard earlier.

"Shhhhh." I put my arm around her. "It's going to be alright."

"How?" She asked me, her voice muffled by her hands.

"It just is," I told her, pulled her toward me and stroking her hair.

"Jake, I'm so sick of everything."

"Don't think about that right now."

"What should I think about?" Her voice sounded calmer.

"Sleep. Think about sleeping."

"I'll try," she sounded so unsure.

"You'll be fine. Now, get some rest," I said as I inched my way off the bed. I kissed her forehead and stood.

"Stay with me, Jake," she said suddenly.

I turned back to her. She looked desperate with her eyes wide, her hair mussed, cheeks flushed.

"You keep saying you don't want to hurt me," I said thickly.

"Please. You make it seem better when you're here," she said, her voice trembling.

I didn't argue with her. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed with her, and that's exactly what I did. I knew I would pay for it later, but right now I didn't care. All I needed to do now was comfort her.

"I know I'm a horrible person, Jake," she said as I settled in beside her.

"It's okay, Ren, it's okay. I'm a horrible person too." I wrapped my arms around her.

"No, you're not," she whispered.

I wasn't about to list all the horrible things I was. I could start with sleeping in the same bed with another man's fiancé. I stuck my tongue out at the half-breed.

"We should probably get some sleep, especially you," I told her.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

I started to rub her back and hum a song. She curled into my chest and snuggled down. God, it just seemed so _right_ being with her! Why did I have to be shafted while she got to live a golden life with a bloodsucker?

"Jake, I'm so so sorry," she whispered.

I just kept on rubbing soothing circles on her back and didn't answer her.

"You must love me a lot."

"I do," I said after a while.

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"Please, Ren, you're exhausted me with all of these sorrys."

She stayed quiet.

"Are you asleep?" I asked quietly.

There was no answer.

I held her close and made sure the cover was well tucked around her. Then I settled my head on hers and closed my eyes.

* * *

_~I promised. Here's the beginning of the end! I realize this isn't like most fanfics and I appreciate your patience. I'm trying to write this like an actual book - a continuation of the series. Cheers loverlies~_


	40. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

The bright morning light trickled into the bedroom. I opened my eyes and found that half of my face was squished. I lifted it a little and fingered the grey fabric. None of my pillows were grey. It was really hot, too.

I looked up into Jacob's face and remembered last night. I took in his peaceful expression. It must have been so hard for him, but I had been so desperate for a little piece of happiness.

"Oh, Ren, what did you do?" I asked myself softly.

I didn't feel like waking him yet, so I settled back down on his chest. It did feel comfortable, lying like this with him. He was warm, and soft. His skin was so unlike mine or Nahuel's, or any of my family's. I stroked his hand, paying attention to the way it gave way slightly under my finger, to its warmth, to the way I could feel the slight tremor of his blood rushing through his veins. He felt so _alive_. It was a feeling I wasn't used to feeling. I stared at my hand stroking his with an almost childish delight.

"Good Morning," Jacob rumbled.

"Morning," I said, and stopped stroking his hand.

"Oh, don't stop on my account. That felt nice."

I propped my chin on his chest and looked up at him. His warm brown eyes looked into mine.

"You looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake you."

"Well, thanks." He grinned his lopsided grin.

"Thanks for staying with me," I told him sincerely, and with a hint of an apology.

"Anytime."

I settled my head back on his chest and trailed my fingers up his arm.

"What is with all this touching?" He asked, curious.

I hesitated. But I couldn't resist Jake anything, especially after what I'd put him through.

"You feel different from anyone else."

"I…feel different."

"Yes. You feel so warm, and alive. Everyone else is cool, and their skin is like stone."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

I looked back up into his face to see he was smiling at me in the way that made me think he was having a joke in his head about it. I made a face.

"That was a weird thing to say, I know," I said.

"No, it was nice."

We lay there for a moment, smiling stupidly at each other. Then, before I knew what was happening, Jacob leaned down and kissed me. I inhaled his musky smell that was like the scent of trees and sunshine and the ocean in one heady scent. My mouth parted involuntarily and suddenly I was kissing him back. My hand slid up his chest and I could feel his heart underneath my palm. God, he was so _alive._

My phone trilled from my purse. Jacob groaned, and his lips parted from mine. I opened my eyes and stared at him, my brain all jumbled.

"You should get that," he told me.

He had his eyes closed, and his head leaning back against the wall. It took me a second, but I finally vaulted over him and landed on the floor. I grabbed at my purse on top of the duffel and searched until I found my phone.

"Hello?" I said slowly into the receiver. I realized I hadn't even checked the screen to see who was calling.

"What exactly are you doing?" Alice barked at me.

"What?"

"Don't you play dumb with me!" Alice hissed.

"Alice, what are you talking about?"

Jacob had opened his eyes and was looking at me. I turned away and crossed my arms.

"What do you mean what am I talking about? You just disappeared right off the map!" Her voice was shrill.

"Well, your vision has always been faulty," I told her.

"It is _not_ anymore when it's concerned with you!"

"Look, Alice, I got to go. I'll see you once my quarantine is up."

I pressed the end key on my phone. Then I turned the whole thing off and went back to the bed. I hopped over Jake and sat cross legged beside him. He sat forward and toyed with the sheet.

"What did Alice want?" he asked, not meeting my eye.

"Nothing important."

"Seemed pretty important. She was shrieking like a banshee," he cracked.

I sighed. "Why does everything have to explode every time we're together, Jake?"

"Your family's the one making it explode. I'm just trying to be here for you."

My eyebrow rose involuntarily.

"What?" He asked defensively.

"You did not just say that, did you?"

"No. What did I say?"

"Jake, you don't help the situation at all!"

"I do too!"

"You do not, Jacob Black. You make it so much more complicated."

"Really? How so?"

Jake stretched back on the bed, hands behind his head.

"Okay," I said, sitting up straighter. I counted the ways on my fingers, "you don't play nice, you constantly confuse my feelings, you insult my family, and you're insufferable."

"Wow," he said.

I crossed my arms and looked at him. He grinned when he caught my scrutiny.

"Aren't you going to apologize?" I asked him.

He sat up and leaned toward me.

"I'm sorry for making your life so difficult," he said, and leaned forward to kiss the tip of my nose.

"You just confuse everything and make everyone angry, and right now you're definitely making things complicated" I explained.

"Oh?"

He leaned forward again, but this time he planted a kiss on my lips.

"_Much_ more complicated."

He chuckled and put his forehead to mine.

I looked at him, sad. "This is going to hurt a lot for you, isn't it, when I say goodbye?"

His forehead wrinkled. I could feel it.

"You keep doing that," he accused me.

"What?" I asked.

"Reminding me that it's going to hurt when this is over. That it will be over."

"But it will," I said, startled.

"Yes, it will. But right now you're here, so please just let me live in my blissful dream of imagined happiness until the very last second before you go."

"I can't do that, Jake."

"You can if you really try. Just try."

"I can't. I just cheated on Nahuel."

He leaned away from me and snorted. "It was just a kiss."

"Okay," I paused. "How do you feel every time I kiss him?"

He gritted his teeth.

"Exactly, and this is ten times worse because I'm engaged to him."

"But you said that your feelings get jumbled when you're with me?"

I stayed silent.

"That must mean you're having second thoughts," he pushed.

He tucked a stray strand of hair back into the bun at the back of my head.

"I'm right," I muttered, "this is going to hurt a lot when we say goodbye."

* * *

_~No, no, Ren, don't think quite like that. There's still a realization ahead...~_


	41. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

Jake had been called away for an emergency earlier in the day, and Billy still wasn't home yet, so I was taking my time getting ready and enjoying the feeling of not having anyone know exactly where I was and what I was thinking.

"Maybe I should do this more often," I thought aloud to myself.

I towel dried my hair and then went to go sit on the porch railing in front, enjoying the sunshine. La Push was just down the coast from Forks, but it seemed to get a lot more sun. I had brought a book with me, so I leaned back against the post and flipped open to a page, bending my legs in front of me to maintain my balance on the narrow rail.

The birds chirped in the trees, and an occasional car passed by. Other than that and the faint sounds of the ocean, it was quiet. I sighed contentedly and delved into the novel. Hours passed, and finally the sun hit the tipping point from mid-day to start its descent towards setting. I closed the book and rested my hands across it. The light hit my engagement ring, setting little rainbows fragmenting everywhere. Nestled around the huge diamond in the center were smaller ones, creating a pattern of roses with rubies and emeralds. The gold band was decorated thus on top, and plain around the bottom half. On the inside of the band, I knew, was an inscription Nahuel had chosen.

I held the hand out in front of me, turning it ever so slightly this way and that to get a better look at it. I frowned, thinking of all the reasons I had chosen to live the rest of my life with Nahuel, and how Jacob was determined to get everything mixed up. I had to start from square one over and over again.

_Maybe I should just stop seeing Jacob_, I thought.

My mind rejected the idea. Jake was my best friend. He knew me. _But so does Nahuel_. I sighed. Nahuel did know me, but sometimes he was so much like a vampire that he lost the human side completely, and I was stuck having to pretend I was fine. But that was just it, wasn't it; I could be both halves with him, because he was just the same. With Jake he always stressed the point that I was human.

I hopped off the rail and went to my phone. Turning it on, I saw I had several (probably furious) voice messages from Alice. I decided to listen to those later and hit number 7 on my speed dial. Nahuel picked up after one ring.

"Hello," he said pleasantly.

My mouth dried up.

"Renesmee?" he asked.

"I kissed Jacob," I blurted out.

There was silence.

"Okay," he replied slowly.

"Okay?"

"Renesmee, he is the other love of your life. Now, for the life of me I couldn't figure out why you went _there_ for your 'quarantine'," he started.

"Some mentally deficient part of my brain obviously suggested it," I added.

"but you did. After thinking for a time about it, I could only rationalize it by saying that you were having second thoughts of our engagement. So, a kiss seems reasonable."

There was a pause as I was too shocked to respond.

"It _was_ just a kiss, wasn't it Ren?"

"Of course!"

He chuckled.

"Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I'm feeling guilty about it."

"I'm glad you felt you could trust me."

"I'm still wearing your ring," I informed him.

"I'm over the moon to hear that. Oh, and Renesmee, I've been thinking," he said. I braced myself. "You don't have to be away from me during this…problem. I'm half human, too, my love, and I'm sure I could be able to stand it. It's a part of you, and if we're to live together for the rest of eternity then I should begin to get used to it now, don't you think?"

"Are you positive?" I asked him. "I don't want to distress you at all. I know how hard it is. I mean, I was making my own mouth water the first couple times it happened. It was disgusting."

I made a face as I remembered.

"I'm positive. This can only strengthen our relationship."

"Well, why don't we wait at least a few more days, and then go somewhere away from my family? I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate my being home at all."

"Of course, love. I'll see you three days from now." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I hung up the phone feeling marginally better. Nahuel and I would try to make it through these hiccups and make it work. We had to.

I turned my phone off again and set it in my purse. Wandering outside again, I leaned against the railing, listening. It was so peaceful. I was staring up at the grey-ish clouds on the fringes of the sky when a low rumbling made me turn my attention to the road. Jacob pulled up to the house on his motorcycle. He gave it a pat as he got off, and then came up below the railing. He grinned up at me, and I couldn't help but return the smile.

"What do you say to doing something crazy?" he asked, his eyes wicked.

I was instantly nervous. "Like what?"

"Relax. I just meant that since I've got you for at least a little while we could take a drive out to some places I have in mind."

"Okay." It didn't sound so bad.

"It might take a couple of days, tops."

I froze. "A couple of _days_?"

"Yep." He studied my face. "Is that a problem?"

It was almost like a challenge. My fingers started to flex. I could never turn down a challenge. It was something that Emmett instilled in me; he wanted me to be tough. I'm sure we'd be back before I had to meet Nahuel.

"No."

"Awesome. Let's go grab a few things and hit the road, Jack."

I grabbed my purse, my duffel, and Jacob stuffed a few things into a backpack. He also left a note for Billy. "Just in case the old man freaks all of a sudden." He explained.

Then we got into his white rabbit and hit the road. I laughed as we drove out toward state limits.

"What?" He asked, curious.

"This is so crazy."

"It's not that crazy," He scoffed.

"For me it is. I mean, I've never snuck out on my parents before."

"Are you serious?"

I nodded my head. "They've always known where I was, partly because of Alice and my dad and partly because I've always told them about my plans whenever we were apart."

He shook his head. "You're such a good girl."

"What? Like you're such a bad boy?" I shot at him.

He waggled his eyebrows at me and hit the gas. I shrieked. He slowed the car down a little (not by much) and grinned at me.

"Only a little," he amended.

I smacked his arm and turned my face to the open window. The sunlight drenched the inside of the car and the wind blew my hair everywhere. I loved it. This was the first time I was running away from home, and it felt great. No one was taking up my time; no one was telling me who I should be with. I could just _be_. Jacob seemed to be in the same vibe too, because for the next few hours the only sound was the ocean crashing far below us, the wind whipping through the windows, and the radio turned up.

We finally stopped somewhere along the coast in Oregon, just for a change in pace. I leaned back against the car and watched the seagulls circle overhead. There was a little park in front of us, and then the rocky beach. The sun was starting to set, and I pushed my sunglasses more firmly on my nose. Jacob stood on the low wall surrounding the park in his t-shirt and cut off shorts. He wasn't even wearing shoes. I snapped a picture, and he turned around at the sound.

"Come on up, little Ren."

He offered his hand and I took it. When I was standing beside him he didn't let go, but grabbed the camera in his other hand.

"Say cheese!" He said before snapping one of the two of us.

"I feel like one of us needs a fedora," I said, laughing.

"A fedora? Why?"

"Isn't that what kids wear when they're on roadtrips? I don't know."

"I don't know either, but we can get one."

I laughed. We watched the sun set for a while, holding hands on that wall. Then he tugged me down and we went back to the car.

"What do you say for driving all night?" He asked me.

"If you're up for it," I shrugged good naturedly.

"Let's go!"

With that we were off, the radio playing, wind in our hair. The black road stretched out for miles, and the light was fading fast, but Jake didn't seem stressed. He maintained his easy relaxed attitude, which made me forget everything but the feeling that I was free.

* * *

_~"Like Romeo and Juliet, let's run off into the sunset"~_


	42. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

"I can't believe she would hang up on me, and then turn her phone completely off when she knows I can't see her!" Alice exclaimed.

"Giant mutt," Rose muttered.

"I'm sure she's fine," Bella said, "she's with Jake."

"That's the problem, Bella," Alice said, falling heavily into a chair.

Rose nodded her agreement.

"Look, it's not like we can do anything about it," Bella replied, taking the TV remote in her hand.

"Bella's right. Besides, Jacob wouldn't do anything to harm Renesmee, I'm sure of it," Carlisle added as he came down the stairs.

I sat silently as they had their conversation. I didn't add that the wolf-man had kissed the love of my life, I didn't add that I would be taking her away in a few days, I didn't add any of the things that were running through my mind. I was going to see her in a few days, and then we would sort everything out.

Bella put down the remote she had been playing with and stood up.

"I think I'll go see if Esme needs help with re-sorting the attic," she said before she disappeared.

The rest of us brooded in silence. Eventually my mind turned to the game of seeing what the wolf offered that I could not. He obviously had a strong enough pull on Renesmee that she valued their friendship, even after their fight and the two weeks of separation. She didn't seem to find enough in me to supplement a life alone.

_She doesn't find enough in you because there is not enough _of _you, _my father's voice mocked me.

_Even after nearly two centuries on this planet there's not enough to make you a man in your own right, _my dead brother's voice floated out to join his.

I rubbed a hand over my face and stood.

"Does either of you ladies know where I might find the company of Edward?"

Rose looked up and shook her head. Alice gestured upstairs.

"With Carlisle," she said.

"Thank you." I bowed as I took my leave and made my way up the stairs.

As I neared the office I could make out their two individual scents. The rest of the house was so muddled that it was hard to follow one particular trail. I paused outside the door and knocked, even though they could probably already sense I was there.

"Come in," Carlisle light voice called from inside.

"Gentlemen, I have a problem," I confided.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked politely.

I had kept it from my mind until this very moment, so that Edward could not have a chance to worry of the matter beforehand.

"The wolf," I said simply.

Edward's eyes narrowed minimally.

"We have an alliance with both packs," Carlisle assured me quickly.

I nodded. "In particular the wolf I mean on this occasion is"

"Jacob," Edward supplied for me.

"Yes."

We shared a look of understanding.

"I thought you'd come to terms with him," Carlisle muttered to Edward.

"That was before he wanted to ruin my daughter's life," Edward replied.

"Edward," Carlisle said.

"It's true, Carlisle."

"You can't hold a grudge against him forever."

"I will happily take it over for you," I put in.

Both of them looked at me.

"What's happened?" Edward asked me.

"Well, as you know, Renesmee has chosen to stay with the wolf until she…recuperates. It appears as if he has taken some small liberty,"

Edward's upper lip drew a little upward.

"I think, if you agree, I would like to collect her and take her somewhere out of the way, where we could learn to coexist more cohesively and possibly put an end to her doubts."

They deliberated.

"What was the liberty he decided to take?" Carlisle asked me, forever fair in his judgment.

"A kiss. Nothing so serious, but not something to be overlooked," I replied.

"Carlisle, he knows she's engaged. He was here," Edward snapped, responding to something in the other's thoughts.

"Remember that you called a truce with him, son."

Edward's eyes lost some of their fire as he remembered something from before I had entered their lives. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, and turned to me.

"Jacob's a good guy. He's a little headstrong, a little rash, but overall he's not so bad. But I _do_ think it's a good idea to take Ren away for a little while. I was in a similar situation with Bella, but in the end I think the time we spent together helped her solidify our future."

I nodded, relieved that he had agreed.

"I'm glad. She called earlier, and we agreed that in three days we would meet again."

"Okay. Well, just let us know if anything develops," Edward said.

"I will."

With that I left them, feeling better that they understood the situation and had given me their blessing to move forward.

* * *

_~ "They would've kept her, locked up." "Like a caged bird." -Chapter 31"  
One more chapter until you hit pay dirt! Cheers~_


	43. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

"We should maybe get a hotel room to crash in," I said as Jake yawned.

"What? And put it a stop to our 37 hour party? Never."

We sat on a beach on Cali on towels we had bought at a small shop for a reasonable price. The sun was shining and surfers were jumping in and out of the waves.

"Funny, how werewolves need more sleep than vampires. You must not be as tough."

Jake just shook his head and leaned back on his towel. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

"That _was_ a response, silly."

I giggled a little uncontrollably. I was ecstatic since I had found out my period had gone early this morning.

"Smarty-pants," he muttered.

I leaned over and poured sand onto his stomach.

"You better watch it, or else you're going to get a handful of that down your teeny tiny bikini bottom."

"Jake!" I squirmed self-consciously on my towel.

He chuckled wickedly and lifted his sunglasses to squint at me. "You started it."

When he had closed his eyes again I relaxed and looked at the waves. The salt air and the ocean breeze felt good under the hot sun. I zoned out, and leaned back against my purse. Jake had tilted his fedora over his face, but after a while I started to hear snoring from under it. I tickled the inside of his elbow, and smiled when he came to, swatting with his arm.

"Let's go, fool."

He grudgingly obliged and we trudged down the lane to the car. We found a decent looking hotel that had less expensive rates. In a pretty short time we were in a suite with adjoining rooms (I wanted to make sure nothing happened after that incident at his house).

"Go sleep, wolf."

"You get some rest too, Ren."

He departed to his room, and locked the door behind him. I took my time settling in. My skin was still overheated, so I went to go sit on the shaded balcony with chilled water from the fridge. I sat out there for a time, enjoying my time people-watching until I was done with my water. Then I showered and wrapped myself in a fluffy towel. I threw on a simple dress and went to go see if Jacob was up yet. I walked through the tiny common space and knocked on his door.

"You up, sleepyhead?"

"Yea," he answered, and opened the door.

His hair was dripping wet and he had a towel wrapped around his waist. I was thrown off-guard and took a step back.

"Oh, um, okay, well, uh, I was thinking we could, um, get food."

"Sounds good. Give me a minute."

He left the door slightly ajar and I sat on a chair, consciously turning my back to his room. I fiddled with my hem as I waited for him, and he eventually came out in a pair of jeans and a collared shirt.

"Ready."

I got up and looked him over. I sighed. "Your hair, Jake."

"What's wrong with my hair?" he frowned at me and ran his hands through his half-dry hair.

"It's sticking up. Here, let me."

I stepped over to him and balanced by putting a hand on his shoulder as I stood on tiptoe to flatten his hair down. I ran my hand through his hair, trying to get all of it to go in the same direction.

"There," I said pleasantly, and smiled at him.

"Thanks, Ren."

"No problem."

I cleared my throat as I lowered my heels. He smelled _amazing_.

"You look really nice, Ren."

"It's just a sundress, but thanks."

"Hey, what's with the shifting eyes? I just paid you a compliment and you can't look me in the face?" he joked.

I smiled and looked up at him.

"Thanks, Jake."

"Better, better," he chuckled.

"You look good, Jake. You smell good too," I added, and then mentally berated myself.

"Well, thanks, so do you, for a vampire."

He held the door open and I flitted through it. We made our way down to the café, but my stomach felt so unsettled that I just ordered an iced tea. Jake seemed not to notice and watched some skateboarders doing tricks on the sidewalk below us.

We sat there for a while, just listening to all the hubbub around us. I roused myself as the waiter brought Jake's food.

"Another iced tea, Miss?" he asked me.

I nodded and he whisked my old glass away.

"Not hungry at all?" Jake asked me.

I shook my head and adjusted my skirt. "I feel a little funny."

The waiter brought my iced tea and I thanked him. Jake looked a little closer at me and set his sandwich down. He called the waiter before he could take more than a couple of steps.

"Can we get this to go?"

"Certainly."

"What? Jake, just finish your food."

He didn't pay me any attention and just shook his head.

I didn't have time to argue the point as the waiter came up with Jake's food all boxed and an iced tea in a plastic travel cup.

"Thanks," Jake said as he took the food and stood.

He motioned to me and I led the way out of the café. Jake handed me my iced tea and we turned down the lane through a park.

"Now, what's the problem?" He asked me.

"There's no problem, Jake."

He pulled me to a stop and leaned down to look into my eyes.

"Ren, I know you more than I know myself. What's up?"

His eyes were compelling me to say the truth. The flecks of gold and chocolate brown shining in the sun made me feel all wobbly again. I exhaled sharply and looked away.

"Ren."

"Jake," I countered, and tried not to breathe. His scent was just too heady, especially when he was this close!

"You're not breathing." He commented.

I glared. Why did he have to be so freaking _observant_.

"Why?" He asked me, one eyebrow raised.

I took a breath to reply, and had to wait a minute before I could answer him.

"Your smell, Jake."

"My…smell."

I nodded instead of risking taking another breath.

"It bothers you?" He was frowning.

I shook my head. "It's clouding my head."

"Great. I'll go romp in a garbage heap somewhere."

I laughed. "No, don't."

"As long as you're breathing again."

He grinned at me, and I couldn't help but grin back.

"I love you, Jake."

"I know," he said, and started walking again.

We walked in the sun, and eventually found ourselves back at the hotel. As we passed by the bar I stopped and tugged Jacob's arm.

"Never have I ever done a straight shot."

Jake looked at me in disbelief. "You want to drink?"

"The sun's setting. It's perfectly acceptable."

"Okay."

We sat down at the bar, and Jake and the bartender struck up a friendly conversation. No matter where he went, he always seemed to make instant friends. After half an hour, and several shots later, we made our way out of the bar.

"I can't believe he gave us an employee discount."

"Well," Jake said, "your simpering did help a bit."

The elevator met us in the lobby with a horde of people already inside. We slid in, and I found myself crushed up against Jake to keep from hitting any of the strangers. I peeked up at him through my lashes and we both laughed at the situation. People shot us looks from the corners of their eyes but I didn't care. Our floor came up and we pushed past people to get out.

"Whew. I'm glad we got out of that sauna."

"Jake, you were the one making it a sauna! I'm just glad I could hold my breath so the other people could have the oxygen supply," I joked.

He laughed and opened the door to our suite.

"Never have I ever," he said, "trashed a hotel room."

I whirled on him. "No."

"I thought we were doing things we've never done before."

"Jake, we can't!"

He just stood, staring at me. Challenging me. (_Damn_ Emmett!) I couldn't stand his cocky attitude. His eyes were mocking me, daring me to do this with him. He always could push my buttons.

"It takes time to trash a hotel room," I said, reflecting on my time in Italy.

"Okay." His grin grew wider.

"And alcohol. Lots of alcohol."

"We have the bar."

"Let's make it more interesting. Ten fingers. Take a shot if you've done it."

"Take a shot and do one thing to mess up the room."

"Deal."


	44. Chapter 43

_~WARNING: This chapter has mature content. Recommended for __18+__. Please only read if you're adult about it.~_

* * *

**Chapter 43**

"I've never been a vampire," Jake said, leaning across the counter.

I smiled and didn't touch my shot glass. He frowned at me.

"I'm only half."

He swore. "Technicality, you have to do a shot!"

"No, I don't. You just wasted one."

I paused dramatically before I said "I've never been able to morph into an animal."

He glared at me as he swung his shot back.

"I've never had to run away from home in order to not be killed."

It was my turn to glare as I did my shot. The alcohol left an acidic taste in my mouth. I grimaced and he refilled my glass.

"I've never bought a fedora."

We went on and on like that, making personal attacks against each other until the sun had set and we were getting a little more than tipsy. It would take a lot more to get us totally drunk, though, because of our insane genome complexes. The room looked like a warzone. Furniture and contents from our suitcases were thrown haphazardly everywhere. We had thrown empty bottles on the ground, and napkins were crumpled in corners. At one point I started laughing at the hilarity of this situation, and I misjudged my balance. I started to slip off the stool, and Jacob catapulted over the counter to grab me before I could hit the ground.

"You alright?" He asked from behind me. His hands held my waist.

"I think so." I giggled.

Then I felt his warm lips press against my skin, and I shivered.

I turned around in his arms to look at him.

"No scrapes or anything?" He asked.

"No," said as normally as I could.

"Good," he said, and leaned closer for a second time.

His lips came against mine, hesitating, waiting for me to respond. 'We don't have to' he was saying, 'we could stop right now'.

His scent filled my airways and made me giddy. It was almost irresistible. His skin against mine was warm, comforting, and full of that thrum of life I had felt in them before. My lips touched his experimentally, and immediately a current started running through me that seemed to originate from him. I kissed him full on the mouth, and his molded to mine. We clutched each other tighter, and my breathing came heavier. I was feeling a little reckless (okay, maybe a lot), and I couldn't resist him any longer. It was like the universe kept throwing him at me, and I had broken down enough to just let it happen.

Jake's fingers slid up my back and then down. My own slid from his hair down to his chest. I clutched the front of his shirt and broke away.

"Looking for a zipper?"

He chuckled softly into my hair.

I thought about it for half a second, and then I just stopped caring. I had the rest of eternity, and one little hiccup wouldn't matter in a hundred years. Besides, Nahuel had had his fun. I should have mine.

I gripped Jake's shirt and began to tug it up. He assisted me, and I ran my fingers over his muscular torso. I found his lips again and tugged his face closer to mine. His hands reached for the hem of my dress and together we pulled it up over my head. I threw it onto a chair and he wrapped his arms around my exposed skin. I shivered again, more intensely this time.

"Shouldn't we be near a bed or something?" I asked breathlessly between kisses.

"Mmm." His eyes met mine briefly.

My whole body was tingling with electric currents, and it felt like my heart was going to burst. Not to mention all kinds of new sensations that felt ridiculously good.

Jake stopped kissing me and swung me up into his arms. As he carried me to my bedroom he trailed his lips where he could. He kissed his way up my stomach, between my breasts, and up my neck back to my lips. I gasped and when his face met mine again I didn't let him go. Soft cotton gave way under my body as he laid me down. I tore off my engagement ring and threw it into the side table drawer. Now I had no reservations. My fingers roved his back, and I let my nails scratch him ever so slightly, and he moaned. The sound made my body perk in new places. Our bodies curled toward each other. The fabric of my bra started bothering me, so I decided it was all or nothing.

"Off," I suggested, tugging at the waistband of his jockeys.

"Ren," he breathed.

"Off," I demanded, starting to pull them down.

He hesitated, and then finished the job while I unhooked my bra. His teeth scraped my skin as he slid off my lacy barely-there undies. I didn't have time to be nervous. Jake was all I could think of, he was all I could touch, all I could smell. I was full of his caresses. I laid kisses along his throat as my hand snuck down farther. He moaned as I wrapped my hand around him and explored. He reciprocated by abandoning my mouth and instead circling my nipple with his tongue. Waves of erotic pleasure stole through me. It was whole new experience, but I didn't have time to be scared. He leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Are you okay?" his voice was hoarse, but concerned.

I nodded and continued kissing his jaw. My hand slid up and down his erection, interested. My fingertips played with the tip of it, and then explored the length again. He moaned and bucked a little, and I watched with interest. I felt one of his hands slide down, caressing my bum, my thigh, and then slipping between my legs. I stopped breathing, and then let out a shuddering sigh.

"Jake," I breathed, and my teeth pulled at his lip.

His breath hitched, but his fingers never stopped. He was doing things to me that I never knew could happen. My body writhed under his touch, wanting him to stop and at the same time wanting more. I could feel myself moistening rapidly as he kept stroking, poking, pulling. I had stopped my own exploration of him and was now clutching his shoulders, alternately squeezing and scratching.

"That feels…so…good," I panted. My body squirmed.

Instead of answering me he leaned down and tongued my nipple. I thought I would explode from the sensation. He licked the other one, and then blew on it. I felt goosebumps erupt over my entire body, and I gave a sharp squeal in pleasure.

"Jacob!"

My hands moved down his body until I could grab his bum, squeezing them from the intensity of the emotions. He groaned and arched his back. I felt the tip of him tickle my opening. I unconsciously spread my legs wider, inviting him in. He brought my lips back up to his and kissed me passionately, biting my lips and teasing my tongue. I paid him back in kind until a sharp pain made me inhale and hold my breath.

"Just breathe, Ren…It will…go away." He whispered in my ear.

He kissed me up and down my cheekbone, gently sliding in. My fingers curled into the sheet, and I heard the fabric rip.

"It's your first time. It'll be over soon. I promise," He kept whispering.

It felt like I was stretching, stretching, too wide. Like I would just snap and not be able to get back together. I felt something give way and then we were fully joined. I could smell the blood, but that was overpowered by the sudden exhilaration I felt.

Jacob kept a gentle rocking motion until he felt me start to respond again. I pulled his hair and made him look me in the eyes. My body was already responding on its own; my hips lifted and pushed up against his, matching his rhythm. Pretty soon the mattress was protesting. With each thrust Jake made I felt new butterflies erupt in my stomach. With every squeak of the mattress he told me how wonderful I was. We kept our eyes locked on each other, our hands exploring each other, until all of sudden I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I screamed as giant waves crashed down on me, happiness and a sense of completion rocking my body. It was best high I had felt in my entire existence. Jacob joined me in bliss soon after that, and I felt our combined bodies slick with fluid.

He kissed me tenderly, cradling my face. I could smell the Jack Daniels on him. I smiled up at him and ran my fingers languidly down his chest. It had been absolutely perfect.

* * *

The sun was rising, and I lay there, not really thinking of anything except the insanely ecstatic feeling that seemed to be infused into my cell structure. I could feel Jacob staring at me from the other side of the bed, and I peeked at him. He was on his side, head propped on his hand, a smile trying to work its way onto his face, but his eyes were guarded.

"Anything on your mind?" I asked lazily, making sure the sheet was still firmly up to my collarbone. I was suddenly self-conscious in the light.

"You," he answered truthfully.

"Then why do you look like that?"

I reached out a hand and tapped a finger to his nose. He kissed it before I could pull it back.

"It's nothing."

"Okay."

"But I was just wondering, I mean, I know…" he trailed off and he looked off to the side, looking embarrassed.

I was confused. Jacob was never embarrassed.

"What?" I asked, sitting up and leaning against the pillows.

He refused to meet my gaze and ran a hand through his already messy hair. I probed against his mind, tired of waiting.

"Not fair," he said, but he was amused.

"Then tell me!"

He sighed. "I'm just hoping everything was good for you, last night."

I clapped a hand to my mouth before I could start laughing hysterically. He looked so worried.

"I know it was your first, and everything…" he trailed off and then looked up. His eyebrow rose as he took in my face and the hand across my mouth, and the laughter shaking through me.

Before he could draw the wrong conclusion I reached over kissed him. "It was perfect."

"Oh," he breathed out in relief, "good."

I laughed at him and then hopped off the bed. "I guess I'll go take a shower."

"Want some company?" he asked deviously.

I threw a pillow at him before shutting the door firmly behind me.

* * *

_~Hope this was worth your while. Sorry if you didn't like it. Review! Cheers~_


	45. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

The hotel suite was trashed. I looked dismally at the mess we had made in the common room. Running a hand through my wet hair, I turned to look at Ren.

"Should we start the clean-up?" I asked her.

She made a face at the mess. "I've never had to clean it up, to be honest," She admitted.

"Yeah, well, we're still here for another day, and I don't want them spitting in our food or anything."

"You have a point," she conceded.

The afternoon sunlight poured in through the windows, and the light played across her skin. I reached out and wove my fingers through hers. I still couldn't believe last night had happened. It was like I was in a dream, and at any moment I could wake up and lose her again.

She smiled at me, and then tugged me toward the middle of the room. "Time to get started on clean-up," she told me firmly. Then she kissed my lips and darted away, picking up empty bottles and throwing away napkins. Pure love pulsed through my body under my skin. If I had been in wolf form I would have howled her name for everyone to hear.

I picked up furniture and tried to put them in the right places. To be honest, I didn't remember much about this room. I helped Ren put the empty bottles by the door and then went into my room. I straightened things up, returned my clothes to the backpack, and then wandered over to Ren's room to see what was taking so long. Usually she was done and pestering me long before I finished anything. I leaned against her doorframe. She was standing awkwardly near the bed, a frown on her face as she contemplated a pillow on the ground.

"Anything interesting?" I asked her.

She jumped and blushed. "Um, not particularly…"

"What's up?"

"Um, I was just wondering…what should I do with the bedding?"

"Oh, I always just throw it on the ground in a heap…" I trailed off.

"Right." She answered, and began to strip the bed.

I gathered all the pillows and we heaped everything into a pile by the window. Then she went over to the side table and picked something out. She went to her bag and got out a little box. I realized with a start that it was her engagement ring. When had she taken it off? It flashed slightly as she stuffed it into the box and buried it under her clothes. She locked it securely and then came to me.

"Ready to go?" I asked her, ignoring what had just happened.

"Yep. Let's go!"

She fit her hand in mine and we headed out.

"What do you want to do?" I asked her.

"Why don't we do something normal for a change, like go see a movie?" she suggested.

I shrugged. As long as I was with her I didn't mind doing whatever she wanted.

"Your wish, my command," I told her.

Something flashed across her face as she turned and led the way out, but I couldn't decide what it was.


	46. Chapter 45

_~Warning__: Has some adult suggestions.~_

* * *

**Chapter 45**

I was definitely over-hormonal. That was the only possible explanation. My eyes never left Jacob, who had decided going for a swim was a perfect idea. At times he didn't come up for a good two minutes to take a breath. I lounged on the pool deck while he swam lengths, trying to read my book and failing miserably.

_Definitely over-hormonal _ I thought again, watching his muscular form. Ever since last night I had caught myself watching him more than I should have. There was just no way to go back to how I had thought of Jacob before. It had always been obvious to me that Jake was attractive, and definitely in shape. I had always noticed the way other women followed him with their eyes appreciatively whenever we went out, I mean, I wasn't _blind_. I had even given him a hard time about it on more than one occasion. But now that I knew what those muscles were capable of _doing_, and how he was able to make me _feel_ without any reservations or boundaries, my view of Jacob had changed. He was still my best friend, and unbelievably goofy, but now he was something more. _My lover_ I thought, and then scoffed. But with a shock I realized that it was true. He had morphed from a fun-loving best friend to a man who could be so much more. I sneered at how naïve I had been all of these past months.

I hadn't noticed Jacob come out of the water and over to me, but he jerked me out of my thoughts by trailing his cold fingers up my calf. I jumped and tilted my head to look at him. He was grinning, soaking wet, and blocking my sun.

"Have a good swim?" I asked, scooting over on the lounger to make room for him.

"Yep. You're nice and warm," He said, laying down and pulling me back onto him.

"You certainly did cool down quite a bit," I commented, trying to focus my scattered thoughts.

"Not really," He answered.

"You're also drenched," I told him reprovingly, and got up to get him a towel.

Suddenly I was flying through the air, and landed in the pool with a splash. I struggled to get back up for air, and as I broke the surface I noticed that the space beside me wasn't empty water like I had thought it was. Jake was trying hard not to laugh.

"Now you're drenched too," he told me.

I splashed water in his face.

"_Not _funny, Jake!"

"Sorry," he said, and then tacked on "but it kind of was."

I rolled my eyes and began treading water, our fingers intertwining under the surface. He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms under my bum , my legs drifting out around his. He nuzzled my cheek and I kissed him lightly, just enjoying the closeness. The water lapped my body as we floated there, the sun and Jake's body heat warming us. After a few minutes I disengaged myself and started toward the ladder.

He clambered out after me and grabbed two pool towels from the giant canvas container. I watched the kids playing in the shallow end while he wrapped the towel around my shoulders.

"They're cute, aren't they?" I asked him, nodding to the two boys and the girl splashing around in their inflatables.

"Yea, they are," he said, looking to where I had nodded.

"Isn't it weird? I don't even know if I can have kids," I said without really thinking about it.

Jake looked at me for a beat, and then a confused look spread across his face.

"Then what's the point of…" he trailed off.

"Well, Carlisle thinks I can, but since my body doesn't prepare itself every month, the rest think that it might just reject a baby too."

"Oh," he said, and turned to watch the children again.

I watched his face. He hid it well, but I could tell that he was hurt.

"Jake," I said, and touched his face, "we have to talk about this."

"No, it doesn't matter," He said after a moment.

"It does."

"There's adoption."

"But then they wouldn't be _yours_ Jacob." I huffed in exasperation. "I'm still technically marrying Nahuel, anyway," I muttered.

We both looked toward the children.

"You can't have any children with _him_," he pointed out.

"That's what you told my mother."

"She didn't want kids."

"Then she had me."

We stared at each other, standing so close, not touching.

"Jacob," I tried again.

"Tell me honestly, Ren, can you go back and live out your entire existence with him?"

I stared at him helplessly.

"Can you honestly tell me," he said, stepping closer, "that you don't feel _anything_ when I do this?" he whispered.

His lips pressed softly against mine, again and again, trying to coax me into changing my mind. My lips pressed against his, and my hands crept up and wrapped around his wrists. His pulse was quicker, and my blood was crashing in my ears.

"That's just it, I feel too much," I murmured against his kisses.

"You're just saying that," he said, stopping to look into my eyes.

"I can't have kids, and that's what you really want." I said, sad.

"Carlisle thinks you can."

"He's the only one," I told him, and stepped away.

"What do you think?" He asked me.

"I…I…think I'll just wait and see."

"And you don't want my children." His eyes narrowed.

"I didn't say that."

"But you said you're still marrying that bloodsucker."

"I said I _technically _still am, Jake," I sighed.

He stayed silent.

"That doesn't mean I will." I tacked on.

He pulled me closer to him, both of us dry now. His hair was a little damp as I pushed it away from his face.

"Why can't you just forget him?" He pleaded.

I stayed quiet.

He eventually let me go, and I sighed and went to go grab my book. I was so stupid for bringing up anything related to my family.

We dropped our towels into another canvas bag and made our way upstairs. I changed into sweats and flopped onto my newly made-up bed, uncomfortable. It wasn't Jacob's fault I couldn't have kids. I ran my fingers through my hair and stood back up. I made my way across the common room and knocked on Jacob's door.

"Come in," he said.

I opened the door a crack and looked inside. Jake sat on his bed, watching tv. I stepped inside and he looked up.

"Hi," I said, a little awkwardly.

"Hi," he replied.

"I just wanted to say sorry, for, you know, the way I was by the pool." I looked at my toes while I said it, and glanced up at him right after.

He regarded me, arms folded across his chest. I tucked my hair behind my ears and wrapped my arms around my middle.

"We always end up fighting." His voice rumbled out.

"Usually because we're frustrated."

"Why are we frustrated? We go great and then everything explodes."

I sighed, and leaned against the door. "Probably because we bring up vampires."

He stretched his hands in front of him.

"Probably," he agreed.

I grinned at the same time he did, and he patted the bed beside him. I ran forward and bounced up onto it. I turned toward him and settled down. His arm rested around my waist perfectly. We both fell silent, and it was nice just being in each other's company watching television.

I must have fallen asleep like that, because the next thing I knew Jacob was trying to shift away as stealthily as he could. I opened my eyes and saw that it was dark outside the window.

"What's happening?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just had to use the restroom. You fell asleep."

He slid off the edge of the bed. I sat there, waiting for him to get back, feeling like I had just missed something important. Jake had switched the channel, and I felt bad for falling asleep like I had.

I apologized when he came back into the room.

"Don't apologize. It was nice. You're adorable when you sleep."

I blushed.

"You're also very adorable when you're all confused from waking up from a nap."

I ducked my head and tried to smooth my hair down. He came over and pulled me back against the pillows. His hand rested in the curve of my waist and we were face-to-face. My hands rested against his chest.

"I turned the sound off so it wouldn't wake you," He said, and I noticed that the room was quiet.

"Thanks," I said offhandedly.

"Of course," he answered.

His fingers made patterns against my skin. His touch was still so new, and I had to stop myself from giggling from the feeling of it. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face, and Jacob smiled in response. I was curious as to what would happen, so I slid my hand under his shirt to touch the warm skin of his abdomen. I watched his face, and felt his fingers pause on my own skin.

"I'll be right back," he said, and kissed my nose before sitting up.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" I sat up and put a hand out to stop him.

"Don't ever think you did something wrong. It's always me," He said.

My hand slid up his arm, and I pulled up his shirt to look at his tattoo marking him as a protector of his people. He hesitated, and then reached up to roll his sleeve down.

He kissed me quickly and then made his way out the door and across the hall to my room.

"Jacob? What are you doing?"

There was no response.

I heard the shower start up in the bathroom. Confused, before I could change my mind, I stole across the small common area and snuck after him.

My skin felt hot. I opened the bathroom door a crack.

"Jacob?" I asked innocently.

I heard him jump.

"Jesus! Ren, get out of here."

I saw his clothes in a pile on the floor.

"I just wanted to ask you something," I told him.

"I'm sure it can wait until I'm done, Ren. Just leave and close the door."

His head peeked around the shower curtain, his face wet and his hair dripping. I closed the door behind me and stood there.

"You love me, right?" I asked him.

He swore. "Yes. I love you more than you know. Now _get_. _out_."

"Then why did you leave?" I sidled closer to the shower.

He closed his eyes and then opened them again. "We are not having this conversation."

The air temperature felt good against my heated skin. Cooler.

I stopped short.

"Are you…?" I trailed off, trying to wrap my head around it.

"Please just leave, Ren. I promise we can talk as long as you want if you just _freaking leave already_."

"Are you taking a cold shower?" I asked him, shocked.

"Just leave me now," he groaned.

I smiled as his head disappeared behind the curtain again. I heard him muttering, but I wasn't really paying attention. I kicked off my pants and ripped my sweater off, letting them fall to the ground beside his clothes. Then I stepped into the shower.

He whipped his head around and swore again.

"I thought you said this was cold," I complained, letting the spray of water drip through my fingers. It was lukewarm.

"I just turned on the heat." He refused to look at me.

I reached around him and turned it colder. His hand caught mine and he kissed my wrist.

"Ren, I need you to leave now." His voice was level.

"I don't want to. I need to cool down too," I answered pleasantly.

My heart was hammering in my rib cage, and my stomach was queasy. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I was usually not this insane. But I couldn't make myself move my feet back out the door.

"You're nervous," he said, picking up on my anxiety.

I didn't deny it, but I didn't leave either.

The cold water hit my chest and I shivered. I reached around to turn the heat back on, irritated that my body couldn't decide which was more comfortable, and he noticed the goose bumps on my arm. His hand flashed out in front of mine to crank it to the hottest setting, and he grabbed a towel and briskly turned and wrapped it around my body. He was all business, and no matter how I twisted he wouldn't let the towel fall.

"Go," he commanded. His eyes smoldered.

I kissed him full on the mouth. His grip on the towel relaxed a bit.

"Now," he tried again, but the stern tone wasn't there.

I pulled his face back down to mine and kissed him again. My tongue touched his and I dragged my hands down his stomach. His hands caught mine before they could go any further, and the towel fell down in a soggy pile. The water was burning hot; pouring over the both of us. He pushed me back against the wall of tile, arms planted on either side. We were panting.

"You should go," he tried again.

"Shut up."

He chuckled and he moved my bra strap, recklessly planting kisses lower and lower. I moaned. I felt his lips curve up in a smile and he replaced the strap.

"You're pushing me, Ren," he whispered into my ear.

I couldn't respond. My nails dug into his hips, and he gasped quietly. He growled a little and moved his hands around my body and down the outside of my thighs. My lips moved over his collarbone.

Suddenly the water went from extremely hot to freezing cold. I squealed a little, but Jacob got most of the blast. He released me and shook his head.

"Crap." He said loudly. Then his eyes cleared and he shoved me out of the shower.

"Out." He said, and I grabbed my clothes and shut the door behind me.

* * *

_~Ren's getting bolder. What will happen next? Please only read if you're comfortable with it!~_


	47. Chapter 46

_~WARNING:__ Contains adult content. Recommended for __18+__. Mature readers only.~_

* * *

**Chapter 46**

The freezing cold water ran over me. I stood there for a minute, letting it cool me down and regain some of my thinking process. I had almost taken Ren in the shower. I groaned and punched myself.

Once I thought I could face her again without immediately starting where we had left off I shut the water off, then I grabbed a towel and dried myself. Yanking on my clothes, I turned to wring out the soaking wet towel from the shower floor. I hung it up to dry, toweled my hands again, and opened the door. As soon I stepped into the room I smelt the sweet perfume off of her skin. I saw her clothes on the floor, and then I dragged my gaze to the bed. Her head was resting on a pillow, the covers tucked over her and under her arms.

I gritted my teeth. She propped her head on one arm.

"Are you trying to make it hard for me?" I asked her.

"I forgot to grab a towel, actually." Her voice was surprisingly steady.

"Likely story."

My heart was beating overtime. She was so beautiful, and I didn't think she had any idea how strongly she affected me.

"It's the truth," she told me. Her green eyes caught and held mine.

I was helpless.

I closed my eyes and sank to my knees.

"Jacob?" Her voice was panicked.

This was so much harder to do when there was no alcohol involved. I couldn't justify my actions. I loved her too much to treat her just like every other girl I've had.

"Ren," I told her, "I love you. I know I've told you this, but I'll be or do anything for you. I'm your slave." I opened my eyes to look at her. "You're so beautiful; You're intelligent and witty and perfect."

She shifted in the bed, and I heard her heart beating faster.

"I love you Renesmee."

"I love you Jacob. I really do." Her eyes softened, and she smiled at me.

My heart ached. My skin burned.

She was right there.

She wouldn't hold it against me.

She wanted this.

I had to make sure. I loved her too much.

"Ren, do you want me to be your lover?"

She paused, and her mouth opened in anticipation of answering me.

Her forehead creased.

I stayed kneeling on the floor, waiting.

"Aren't you already?" She asked me quietly, her eyes trained on one of her hands as it picked at the sheets.

I chuckled weakly, and went to go sit on the edge of the bed.

"Last night probably wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been intoxicated," I told her honestly.

"Oh," she said. I felt the heat coming off of her skin as blood rushed to her cheeks.

"Not because I don't want you. I do," I told her, putting a hand against her face.

She looked at me, her eyes troubled. "Why..." she left if hanging there.

"Because I care about you too much. I wasn't…thinking last night, and you weren't either. I've been worried all day that last night was too much for you."

I brushed her hair back and tucked it behind her ear.

"Jake, last night was _amazing._ I was always worried about what would happen, but with you it was…I didn't _have_ to think…"

A burning started in my chest. Satisfaction rolled through me, and I felt my uncertainty fall away. She wanted this. She wanted _me_. She had been worried with Nahuel, but with me there wasn't a problem.

She fit her hand in mine and made patterns against my wrist. Shivers worked their way across my skin, and I brought her hand up to kiss it.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?" My eyes locked with hers.

"Jake, I'm getting cold."

Her eyes smoldered, but she was still a little unsure. I had to remember that this was all new to her.

"Do you want me to warm you up?" I asked, my voice thick.

She nodded, and I leaned down over her to kiss her.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Were you in the same shower I was?"

We laughed together, a little shaky.

Then her hands slid slowly up my sides, taking my shirt with them. Hope and desire and love burned in my chest as I locked eyes with her. I stepped off the bed and let my jeans fall to the floor. Then I took the edge of the sheet in one hand and peeled it back, exposing her. She dropped her eyes and her cheeks flushed. I got in slowly and laid next to her, not touching, just looking at her. She shyly let her eyes dart up and down my body.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" I told her reverently.

She shook her head mutely.

"You are."

My hand molded around her cheek and I leaned in to kiss her, feeling her rapid heartbeat. She placed her hands against my chest as our passion built. I could feel the cotton against my body, restraining, but I couldn't remove it just yet. This was a new world for her.

She stretched out on her back and I followed her, bracing my upper torso over hers. My hands worked lower, from her face to her chest. Her breasts were perfect soft globes between my fingers. I ran a thumb over their centers, feeling them perk, and she moaned into my mouth. I was thrilled that I could arouse her like this.

One of her hands slid around the side of my midsection while the other found my nipple and tweaked it, hard. I gasped at the pain, but it was quickly turned into a sadistic hunger for it. She did it again, this time to the other nipple, and I bit her lip in reply. She raked my back. I sucked on her earlobe, and then trailed my way down her neck to her chest, teasing her by kissing between and around her breasts. Her hands twisted in my hair, trying to guide the path my mouth was taking. I trailed my tongue over her nipple, and she whimpered. I flicked, and then suckled. She arched as I did the same with the other. Her eyes found mine again and she deliberately flipped me over. It surprised me that she could, but then again, she wasn't just a regular human. I enjoyed having her this way, strong, un-breakable, my equal. It added a whole new layer to the experience.

She positioned herself so she was straddling me, her hips just over my abdomen. She leaned down and kissed me, raking her fingers through my hair. I desperately wanted to take my boxers off, but I couldn't see an easy way to do it. Just as I was about to make a move, she sat back slightly, so her bum just touched my erection. I groaned, and she trailed kisses down my chest, teasing by kissing the nipple and then biting. I yelped, but she just grinned. Then she trailed her tongue over my abs, lower, lower, until she hit the waistband of my restriction. I wondered what she would do, and she hesitated, looking a little unsure. Then she kissed me right through the fabric. I bucked up and moaned her name. She was driving me crazy.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she slid my boxers lower until I was free of them, and then she just sat on my thighs, looking. Having her look at me, completely naked straddling my thighs, was more erotic than I thought it could ever be. She explored it with her eyes, and then she reached out one finger to stroke it.

I almost imploded.

"Ren," I whispered, my hands grabbing the pillows.

Her fingers explored what her eyes had, stroking up and down again and again. Over, circling the tip, back down under it, over the top, to the tip, and back; stroking the top and underside at the same time. It was too much to bear.

"Oh, God," I whispered. I couldn't stand it anymore. "Your turn," I growled at her.

I sat up and pushed her off my legs, laying her down on the twisted comforter. Her hair spread around her angelically, and I paused to kiss her tenderly while my hand pushed her legs open. It was my turn to sit back and look. I trailed one finger down the inner of her thigh, and her breathing turned heavy. I touched her with my thumb and rubbed up and down her lips. She jerked and let out a short sigh. I rubbed up and down rhythmically, getting her used to the feeling of me touching her. Her hips started to circle at a steady pace, and I watched her in fascination. She turned wet to the touch, and I took my forefinger and rubbed it over her clit. She whined as her hips bucked up.

"This is how you made me feel, Ren," I told her, kissing her nose.

She opened her eyes and drank me in, the corners of her mouth lifting up into a smile.

"It feels amazing," she whispered.

I continued rubbing, finding myself moving with her rhythm, at times slowly dipping my finger into her entrance. She bucked again as I touched her clit. She arched up toward the ceiling, and I could barely control myself at the sight of her. I stopped and re-started my teasing at random, making her whine.

Then she pulled me down and kissed me, her tongue sliding over and under mine. I brought my hand up and braced myself over her, giving in to the kiss. It was the singularly most passionate thing I had ever experienced in my life. She wriggled until she was right under me, her arms pulling me closer, her hands behind my neck. With one hand she reached down to find my erection, squeezing with her fingers. I felt the last of my self control leave. I lowered myself until I was right above her clit, and circled it with my head. She bit my lip and moaned, and I squeezed one of her breasts in my hand. We broke apart and gazed at her other, panting.

"Please," she whispered.

I kissed her as I positioned myself, and went slowly at first. Her eyes closed and she inhaled sharply, these short staccato breaths.

"You okay?" I asked her, my voice strained.

"It hurts," she said.

"You want me to…"

"No! It feels amazing Jacob, just don't stop. Please." She breathed.

"I'm sure it's only because you're not used to it." I tried to assure her.

She nodded, biting her lip. My rhythm came faster. She wrapped her legs around my hips, pushing up, joining us closer. We bucked against each other, sweat covering our skin. I kissed her neck, trailing my tongue over her salty skin. She twisted my hair in her fingers, kissing my lips whenever I was close.

Her tightness was perfect, and I could feel my body responding to it faster and faster. Her moans came louder, and finally we saw the fireworks. It was like getting hit with a thousand watts, and while the light was fading I held her close, wrapped in my arms, kissing her hair.

She sighed and giggled, kissing my chest.

"I love you." She told me.

"I love you." I replied.

She looked up at me and kissed my lips.

"Thank you for being patient." She smiled shyly.

"You don't ever have to be afraid," I told her, smoothing her hair away from her face.

She nodded, and tucked her head under my chin.


	48. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

We lay together, our skin touching, not talking. I traced the inside of her palm. She had her eyes closed. I couldn't stop looking at her. She smiled and opened one eye to peek at me.

"That's kind of unnerving," she said. Her voice was hoarse.

"Really?" I asked her, moving my fingers to the inside of her arm.

"I'm getting used to it," she shrugged, and shut her eye again.

I smiled and stretched my arms above my head. The whir of cars on the street filtered in through the windows, and the crash of the waves reminded me of La Push. I ran my fingers over my shoulder, where my tattoo was inked. I felt warm lips press against it once my fingers withdrew, and I turned to find Ren looking at me.

"You're thinking about something unpleasant."

"You're pretty observant, too, you know" I told her.

She shifted closer and put a hand on my chest. "What is it?"

I sighed and let my head fall back again on my pillow. "My pack. I know they're fine without me, but I just feel like I abandoned them."

Ren was silent.

"Leah's been texting me and leaving voicemails, telling me everything's fine, but…"

"You miss them," Ren said, with surprising accuracy.

I shrugged and put a hand behind my head.

She sighed. "I keep taking you away from things you love," she said.

"I love you," I said.

"I know, but you love other things and people, too."

"You're my life."

I swallowed hard. It was still so unnerving to put it out there so simply, showing her how much I was wrapped up in her.

"I'm sure you say that to all the girls," she joked.

I rolled my eyes and she swung forward over me, her hair creating a curtain around us. Her green eyes searched my face.

"You know I'm kidding around, right?"

"I know," I told her, beginning to smile.

"Good," she said, and leaned forward to kiss me.

I caught her as she was going to swing back and held her to me. Her skin was hard and smooth, glistening in the low light. I could hear her heartbeat, but the rush of blood through her veins was missing. It always made me uneasy when I noticed the vampire sides of her.

She toyed with the cord around my neck. "It's very intricate," she said. Her gaze lingered on the carving of the wolf at the end of the cord, and the spear and feather.

"Thanks. I carved them myself."

"You did? Out of stone? How long did that take?"

"A couple of months to get all of them done just right."

Her gaze was awed. "What do they mean?"

I was always happy to share some of my history with Ren, especially when she seemed so interested.

"The wolf, obviously, means I'm part of a pack. The spear means I'm a warrior, because it has the special headdress to it, and the feather means I'm a chief."

Her gaze flicked to my face, and then back down to the three pendants.

"You are something special, Jake."

"So are you."

She stuck her tongue out and set the cord back down.

"So, can you have more than one girl, then, because you're a chief?" She asked.

"Seriously, Ren?" I laughed at her.

"It's a genuine question," she grumbled.

I sighed. "Yea, I suppose, if I ever wanted to, but it's not going to happen."

She frowned and shifted into my side.

"Jake," she whispered, "I want you to be open to other people."

I kissed her hair. "Let's not talk about this now, okay?"

She stayed mercifully quiet. I tickled her shoulder.

"You're all that I want," I said carefully.

There was silence for a few beats.

"You're all that I want, too." She said quietly.

Suddenly she was buzzing with energy. She sat up bounced a few times.

"I want you to ask me again," she said.

"What?" I sat up with her.

She was clutching the sheet around her, the moonlight filtering in behind her.

"Ask me again, Jake."

"Ask you what?"

"To marry you."

My heart started to race.

"What about Nahuel?"

"Forget Nahuel. I want you."

"Ren," I cautioned, "why don't you take some more time to think about what you're saying."

"I have been thinking. A lot. I want to marry you, Jacob."

"You're already engaged to him."

"You can always break off an engagement," she argued.

"Is this only because we just had great sex?" I asked.

She laughed. "Part of it," she said.

I shook my head. "I'll ask you when we've been celibate again for a while."

She pouted. "I can see you're not understanding. Let me show you, instead."

She held out her hand. I hesitated, and then put my darker one in hers.

Images and feelings began to flow through me, slowly at first, and then faster. I saw how she had seen me before, and how she saw me after our relationship had…intensified. I was trying to riddle out her logic, but couldn't find any linear path of thought. It was kind of amazing to see, actually. At last she let me feel how she felt about me now and the slow and lingering fire of love that she now associated with me. It was stronger than I ever thought she could feel about our relationship.

"Now do you think it's only because we just had great sex?" She asked jokingly.

"Partly," I answered her, a little dazed.

Then I leapt off the bed and went to search in the pocket of my backpack. I rejoined her on the bed after pulling on some boxers. I sat cross legged in front of her, and she pulled her hair over one shoulder.

I fiddled with the jewelry in my hands, trying to decide if it was the right thing to do. Once I did this again, I would be lost to her forever, no matter if she later rejected me. I couldn't go through all that breaking again. I had to accept that as a possibility. She was just focused on me now, but maybe she wouldn't be later. I took a breath and focused on what I felt for her, and how the rest didn't matter.

"Renesmee, I promise to be faithful and loving to you. I promise to try and capture the stars if you want them, and to have you as my one and only. I promise to make you happy, and to provide you with house and home, and a family if you want them. I promise to share a future with you. I hope you will accept me to be your husband, and understand my offer stands until the day I die."

I had asked her hand in the way of my people, and now I held my breath before continuing.

"Renesmee Cullen," I asked, "will you accept my offer of a lifelong marriage?"

She put a hand to my face and kissed me.

"Yes," she said, "I accept."

I breathed out and grinned. Then I held out an intricately woven bracelet, with different precious and semi-precious gems spaced evenly between the threads.

"This is a tradition of my people," I explained. "It signifies that you've been spoken for and are bound to the man who tied it around your wrist."

She inhaled as she gazed at it. "It's beautiful."

"It usually goes around your right wrist, and then switches to your left on your wedding day."

She held out the appropriate arm, and I tied the slender threads together with trembling fingers. When it was secured she brought it up to her face and looked at it.

"How did you get it?" she asked.

"Well, usually you go to your mother, and she weaves a new one for your intended. I actually went to my sister, and she weaved this for you."

"How special," she said, and when she looked up at me her eyes were misty.

I smiled at her. "I've been carrying that around instead of the ring, in case you ever changed your mind."

"I'm happy," she said simply.

* * *

_~There's still more to come! Hope you're happy with it so far. Review! :) Cheers~_


	49. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

Something had changed. I wrinkled my nose, trying to pinpoint it. I pushed my projections out for each family member, and stopped short when it came to Renesmee. I tried again, pushing against the veil of my vision. Cold blackness enveloped me. I was blind. I gasped, blinked several times, and started to shudder violently. Jasper was there in an instant, trying to calm me. I pushed his hands away and grabbed my mobile phone.

"Alice, love, what's wrong?" Jasper asked me in that quiet, intensely dependable way of his.

I shook my head in response and speed-dialed the number for a second time. The phone sent me straight to voicemail.

"Something's changed. Renesmee…I can't see her wedding day anymore. I can't see us with her!" My voice started to climb.

_'Calm down, Alice'_ I told myself.

I met Edward's eyes as he came down the stairs. My gaze refocused on Jasper, who was crouched down in front of me, hands trying to still my shakes.

"What did you see?" He asked me. His eyes were darker today, almost ocher. We should be out hunting. Fleetingly I felt guilty. He had to hunt so much more than the rest of us.

"I couldn't see anything!"

His forehead creased with worry and he swung around, slightly crouching, ready to defend me. Nahuel and Edward stood there, faces locked in stony stares. Bella sidled in, and Esme, Carlisle, and Rose stood on the stairs.

"What happened?"

"I felt something…change. I looked into each of our futures to see if I could pinpoint it, and when I reached Renesmee I couldn't see anything."

"What does that mean?" Nahuel asked us.

"It means Renesmee's done something that blocks Alice's vision," Edward explained.

Rose explained further, fuming, "And the only other thing besides you that blocks _that_ is…"

"Werewolves," Bella and I finished together.

Jasper looked at Nahuel expectantly, fingers flexing ever so slightly.

I looked at Nahuel and shook my head. Jaz saw that from the corner of his eye and relaxed his pose, but not completely at ease. I smiled ruefully at him and slipped my hand in his.

"If you cannot see me, either, then how does that change anything?" Nahuel asked.

"I could see Renesmee in her wedding dress, and I could see us attending the ceremony. Now, that's just…vanished." I waved my hands in the air to better express it.

"I see," he said. His face darkened.

My gaze shifted to Edward. "Don't bother calling. Her phone's turned off." I told him sullenly.

I just wanted to be alone. The darkness of my vision gave me chills. It reminded me of the point in my life that just disappeared, just like my vision had done just now. I stood up with the intention of leaving, but Jasper wrapped his arms around me.

"Don't fret," he said softly in my ear.

My eyes pricked annoyingly. My arms automatically locked around his waist and I smiled up at him, trying to get _him_ not to worry. He was always worrying about me. I kissed his nose and wriggled out of his grasp.

The night was quiet, and I didn't break the silence as I ran across the grass and hopped up into the nearest tree.

"Alice," Jaz said from the base, looking up.

I climbed to the top and sat on the highest branch, kicking my feet back and forth. It was nice up here. It was one of the only things I remembered doing…before. I had even found a picture of my sister and me in the branches of a tree. Both of us had looked very young, and I assumed the house that jutted into the corner of the picture had been ours. I had tried to go visit it, but was gone now, replaced by a very ugly row of apartment buildings. I sighed and chewed on my lip.

Jaz leaned against the bottom of the tree and folded his arms.

"This won't help," he warned.

My eyebrows pulled together.

"Talking about it will," he tried again.

I hated it when he was right. It felt so nice up in the tree, so freeing, like I could sprout wings and fly away and not have to worry about darkness ever again.

"Come down, tiny bird. I'll catch you."

I wrapped my arms around the tree trunk stubbornly, and rested my head against the rough bark.

"Two of us up there will snap it, Alice, you know that." Jaz threatened.

"No, it won't," I said petulantly.

He was silent.

Then I felt the tree vibrate gently.

"Oh, alright," I grumbled. I started the climb down and was at the bottom in less than a second.

"Now tell me what this is about."

"You know what," I said with no conviction. I didn't meet his eyes.

His arms flexed and my gaze rested on them. The scars from his battle wounds showed in relief from the light streaming out from the house. My fingers caressed his skin and he twined his fingers with mine.

"Alice," he said softly, tenderly, "you can tell me."

"I know."

I looked up into his eyes, framed by those dark blonde lashes. I frowned.

"We should hunt," I told him.

His eyes closed for a fraction of a second. "I'm fine."

I brushed the hair from his face and held it back.

"You're not."

He smiled at me, but his eyes were worried. He wouldn't leave me alone until I told him what was bothering me, I knew that.

"I hate the dark," I whispered to him, and buried my head in his chest.

He held me, protective as always.

"Sometimes I'm glad I don't sleep, because then I never have to surrender myself to it."

"You don't ever have to be in the dark ever again," Jaz told me with an edge in his voice.

"I do. This…lack of vision _is_ the dark."

I heard his teeth click together. His arms tightened around me. I closed my eyes and let myself rest against him. It was driving him crazy, not being able to defend me from the only thing that frightened me.

"You don't have to go through it alone."

I smiled and went on my tiptoes to give him a quick kiss.

"I'm so lucky to have you," I told him.

He smiled back. "I'm lucky you found me."

Just looking at him eased my fears. He was my superman. Feeling my emotions ease he gave me a small squeeze. We heard the porch door slide back, and saw Rose framed by the light.

"Could you two come inside please?"

Jaz looked at me, his eyes concerned. I nodded, and he wrapped his fingers with mine as we walked slowly back. Rose had disappeared, but I could hear them in the kitchen.

As we walked in Edward came toward me, his mind working overtime, thinking of a million different ways he could recapture his daughter and beat Jacob senseless within an inch of his life. I shook my head at him, almost in sync with his thoughts. For some reason, maybe because of our talents, we were closer as siblings to each other than with the others.

"It's never going to work, you know," I told him as I hopped up onto a stool. I rested my chin in the palm of my hand and surveyed everyone.

"How do you know Alice, if you can't see it?" Edward hissed at me.

I stiffened minutely at his underhanded comment. Jasper gave him a short warning growl.

"Because your plans never work, Edward," I said in a tone that dismissed his suggestion.

"Do _you_ have anything?" Rose asked me, rolling her eyes.

"Short of driving down to where they are and forcing her in the car, no," I frowned, "and I'm pretty sure they're in a sunny place as well. Somewhere we couldn't find them easily."

"I knew we shouldn't have let her stay there," Rose said darkly.

"What's done is done. There's nothing we can do about it now," Carlisle interjected. "Let's just wait to see if Alice's vision clears up. Until then, we don't act on anything."

"We wait for them to come home?" Edward's tone was frightful.

"There's no other course right now," Carlisle rebutted.

While they were having their mind battle I looked at Nahuel. He was lounging idly against a row of cabinets, but his sharp eyes and quick intuition were playing off of the conversation, of that I was sure. When he snapped to a decision I caught a flicker of it, only for a second. I drummed my fingers on the counter and smiled in a way that Jasper said reminded him of the "cat who got the cream pot".

"There is, of course, another alternative," I said archly.

Nahuel's eyes locked with mine. I nodded to him and everyone turned their gaze.

"I am not hindered by sun or distance. I can easily find them and see what has happened," he said.

There was a pause, and then Bella spoke up.

"Her week's almost up. Let's just leave it." She sounded weary.

I looked at her and she gazed steadily at Nahuel. Edward looked down at her, disbelieving. Rose growled. Carlisle nodded sagely, and Esme patted Bella's hand. We were clearly divided.

"Her week is up tomorrow, to be precise," I said carefully.

"You can't seriously believe I'm going to let her trounce home on her own time," Edward objected.

"I'm with you. I say we take the mutt out for the count – permanently," Rose said fiercely.

"C'mon, he's not that bad," Emmett said, serious for once.

"You can't kill him, Rose," Bella replied.

"Enough!" I said, slapping my palm down on the countertop.

Everyone looked at me, startled.

"Can we all just stop with the fighting? Ren's a big girl. I'm sure she can handle herself." I frowned even as I said it.

"Alice is right. She can deserve a little freedom," Carlisle said.

Rose looked daggers at me. I shrugged and hopped off the stool.

"We all got a chance to live our lives a little before Carlisle made us into a family. For Ren it's the opposite; she's been surrounded by family and nothing else save for a few years here and there in universities. Let's just…back off for a while. Especially since she's confused enough," I pleaded to them.

Rose snorted. "You were the one who freaked because you couldn't see her, witch."

"Yes, but now that's it's turned into a frenzy over who gets to kill the dog, I can't really see the point." I sniffed.

She sneered at me. Bella smiled gratefully. I tipped my head and then grabbed Jasper's wrist, pulling him quickly out the door before Edward could make a scene.

"We're going hunting," I told him firmly. I heard him sigh in acceptance.

"They're not very happy," he warned me.

I shrugged my shoulders and increased my pace. We started to near the thick fringe of trees surrounding the property. We skipped over the stream, never losing grip on each other's hands.

"We should have done this sooner," I told him apologetically, glancing over at him.

He was beautiful. The moonlight made his hair look almost white, and his movements never ceased to impress me with their fluid ease. The scars on his body seemed to be caressed by the light, blending them into the rest of his skin so they didn't stand out.

"I was fine, don't worry," he replied.

I frowned. Jasper always liked to appear tough, it was, in his mind, an extreme weakness that he had a harder time with this than the rest of us. He hated having to hunt more than the others. No matter what any of us told him, he was constantly beating on himself because he felt weak. Being a soldier no doubt put it into his mind that he had to be tougher, stronger, better than anyone else.

I sighed.

"It's true," he said defensively. He probably felt my anxiety.

"Jaz," I said, pulling at him sharply. He stopped and turned toward me, trying to put a smile on. I looked at him and then grinned mischievously. "Want to bet I'll get first catch?"

His eyes widened ever so slightly, and then he scoffed at me.

"You? Look at you, you're a miniature little thing. Me, on the other hand, I'm strong as a bull."

I smirked at him and then took off, dropping his hand in the process.

"Foul!" Jasper said loudly, but I could tell he was catching up to my head start.

We weaved in and out of trees at a blinding pace, and it wasn't long before we caught the trail of some deer. We slowed down and followed them quietly, and then pounced. Jasper went after the stag, while I settled on a heavy doe. He finished and looked at me, grinning. His eyes were bright gold now. I rolled my eyes and delicately wiped my mouth.

"I won," he said proudly.

I rolled my eyes. "By only a second," I told him, and tweaked his nose.

He laughed and bent down to kiss me.


	50. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

The feeling in the room was tense as we walked back in.

"What's the verdict?" I asked Esme quietly.

Early morning light filtered in through the windows. Jasper and I had been hunting all night. His eyes were bright and I could tell he was feeling better.

"They're going to wait for them at his house. Carlisle called ahead to warn Billy, but he's coming up to see Charlie today," She whispered back.

Edward's furious eyes found mine. I held his gaze, but Jasper stiffened beside me. When Edward finally looked away he tugged me out of the room.

"You're not going with them," he told me.

I stopped and put my hands on my hips.

"I can do whatever I want, Jaz."

He turned and folded his arms. I could tell he was worried, but I was not going to be pushed around. I wasn't one of his soldiers to command. This utter defiance he picked up on. He dropped his hands and reached for me.

"Alice, honey, I just want you out of harm's way," He told me.

His voice was silky smooth, and his eyes were trying to melt my defenses.

"I can take care of myself," I snapped.

He flinched, and tried a different tactic. "Edward won't let you go."

"Edward can stuff pine needles in his shoes. He can't tell me to do anything either."

I heard Edward slam something down on the counter, and I turned to face him as he barreled through the door.

"Edward here also has anger management issues," I shot over my shoulder to Jasper.

Edward seethed. "You have made enough trouble already," he hissed at me.

Jasper hissed back, but he stayed behind me. I balled my fists and planted my feet.

"You _always_ overreact to things. Ren can choose who she loves by herself. It's not your decision."

"So now you're fond of the mutt?" He sneered at me.

I stamped my foot, frustrated.

"It's not about whether or not I like the dog! It's about letting Ren have a little space!" I emphasized.

Edward shook his head. "I don't have time for this. I'm leaving."

He jerked his head toward Nahuel and left. I heard the car door slam.

"Make sure he doesn't rip her head off," I told Bella before she left.

She nodded and flitted out the door.

"They're not running?" Esme asked.

I shook my head. "Apparently they want a trunk to stuff the body in. Whose body, I'm not so sure."

* * *

_~More updates coming soon! Let me know how you like it. Cheers.~_


	51. Chapter 50

_~Here you are! Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think. Cheers!~_

* * *

**Chapter 50**

I took one last look of the hotel room and bathroom before grabbing my duffel bag and rolling it towards the door. I could hear Jacob repacking his things and sighed.

"Must you always be so slow?" I complained at his door.

He stood in nothing but his boxers, leaning over his backpack and stuffing things in at random. He glared at me.

"Let me," I told him, but he pushed me away.

"I can do this," he grumbled, "but thanks, _Mom_."

I sniffed and retreated back to the common room. Minutes later he was by my side, now with shorts on and footwear.

"Don't you have a shirt?" I asked him, running my fingers over his chest.

"Am I distracting you?" he asked, amused.

I swatted his head and was rewarded with an "ow!"

"Don't be so conceited, wolf. It's not attractive."

"But I am attractive," he said with a smirk.

This time he dodged my smack and picked me up around the waist, twirling me around.

"I was kidding," he said as he put me down.

"I know," I muttered, and smoothed out my skirt.

"Ren?"

I looked up and he smiled at me, pulling me closer. My heart rate picked up and I tried to concentrate on things other than his eyes, his perfect smile, his scent.

"We have to check…" I started, but was interrupted by his lips on mine.

It was a soft kiss, very sweet. My eyelids fluttered closed and stayed that way even after his lips had left mine.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you," I responded, and smiled as I opened my eyes.

"Let's run away."

Jacob smiled down at me, but his eyes were serious. I rolled my eyes and looked down at my toes.

"You know we can't, Jake," I sighed.

He chuckled. "Just wanted to double check," he said lightly.

We made our way downstairs and checked out. Then we hopped into my car. As I started the engine my phone chirped. (I had decided it was time to turn it back on.)

"Can you check who that is?" I asked Jacob, not taking my eyes off the road as I pulled onto the highway.

He reached into my purse and pulled out my phone. Then he pulled a face.

"It's shorty, he informed me.

I gave him a look.

"I mean, it's Alice," he said, grinning.

"What did she say?"

"'Your dad is furious. I am too, by the way. He plans to put one of you in a body bag in the trunk.'" He read off.

"Looks like it's going to be a party," I said sarcastically.

Jake didn't say anything, just kept staring at the screen.

"What?" I asked him, looking at him for just a second.

His fingers started to type across the touch pad.

"Jake," I warned.

"I'm not doing anything, don't worry," he muttered to me.

"Jacob Black. You put down that phone right now." My voice was like ice.

"Look, Mom, I'm not doing anything…"

I swerved the car sharply to the left and then back into our lane. Someone honked behind us but I didn't care. The jolt had been enough to throw Jake off balance so I could grab my phone.

"Christ! What are you trying to do? Kill people?" Jake yelled.

"Please," I scoffed.

I looked down at my phone and saw he had already sent the text message. I frowned. There had been more to the message Alice had sent. I read it silently, trusting my vampire instincts to the driving.

'Your dad is furious. I am too, by the way. He plans to put one of you in a body bag in the trunk. I hope you didn't run off with the dog. You'll smell worse than a composting center, not to mention it'll break Nahuel's heart into a million pieces. You better have a good story when you get home because you have a lot of explaining to do.'

To which Jake had replied: 'Dog here. We're on our way home, twitchy witch. Who's giving us a welcome home party?'

I looked up at the road and then frowned at Jacob. My phone chirped again.

'You, mister, better watch your step. And I suggest disinfecting your phone, Ren. Who knows what kinds of disgusting things he carries. I shudder to think. Edward, Nahuel, and Bella are planning to meet you. Emmett and Rose are probably planning on running there.'

Groaning, I dropped my phone into the cup holder.

"Did you really have to call her that?" I asked Jake.

He shrugged and looked out the window.

"Look, if we're getting married you'd better get on _her_ good side at least!" I slapped the steering wheel for emphasis.

"We're not going to live with them, are we?" He grimaced.

"No, Jake. I don't know! I was planning on having family dinners in the future, you know? So _please_ try to be nice." I chewed my lip anxiously.

My whole life I always thought I'd be living near my parents, maybe even on the same property in a separate house, like my parents had done with Carlisle. Now, with Jake, that didn't seem to be possible. There was too much tension, too much animosity between the two parties. I had failed to think that far when in the little bubble the two of us had created at the hotel.

"It just hard, Ren. I mean, I thought Edward and I had a truce, but it looks like that flew out the window the moment I thought of you romantically. Now you say you're planning on staying with them. I don't know how these two futures are meshing, Ren."

I took a moment to mull that over. My eyes never left the road.

"I'm not…I don't love you any less, Jake. It's just that I always envisioned my future as part of my present. I've always intended to be close with my parents, physically and emotionally. I've never even really thought about possibly having children. I'd always thought about family dinners instead, or going to explore the world, living on a boat, living in the French Riviera. I don't know. I always envisioned my fiancé getting along with my parents, respecting them, learning from Carlisle." I took a breath, shifting my eyes back and forth as if trying to find the words in the pavement. "I can't stand any more fights, Jake. I don't want this…this _tension_ to ruin everything."

He was silent for a few minutes.

"There will always be tension, Ren. It's who we are. Wolves and vampires…we can't be friends, at least not for very long. It's natural to hate them; they're what made us this way."

I shook my head, ready with an angry retort, when he started again.

"But that doesn't mean that I won't try." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I don't know what's wrong with your dad again, but I'll try to get along with them. Of course, I can't promise anything…especially with Blondie. For you, I can be civil; nice, even."

"_Trying_ won't be good enough." I stressed.

"I _will_ be civil, and nice, if they're civil and nice back."

I frowned.

"I'll _try_ to be that way even if they aren't. Like I said, it's generally ingrained in me to be nasty. I can't give you any more promises."

He spread his hands again and gave me a small smile. I glanced at him and finally decided that he was serious. I nodded and grinned.

"So we're going to make this work?" I confirmed hopefully.

"Most definitely," he replied.

We turned off the highway and started down the narrow strip of pavement to La Push. Jacob was driving now, and we held our breath and we turned down the gravel and dirt road that lead to his house. My dad was there, arms folded, face of stone, next to his car. Nahuel was beside him, his posture and face devoid of emotion. My mother was between them, looking anxious, talking to Edward rapidly in a low voice.

I hopped out of the car after a moment's hesitation. My fingers lingered over the seatbelt button.

"Hi everyone," I said as I got out.

"Come here," My dad said, seething.

He darted forward and grabbed my wrist in an iron hold and began to drag me toward the car. Strong tan hands wrapped around his hand, trying to slow down the pace.

"Jake!" My mom said from behind him.

Jacob's face was neutral, he was just trying to stop the motion and get everyone still. In the fraction of a second my dad had dropped my hand, twisted around and clocked Jacob. His punch landed perfectly on the lower left of Jake's jaw. I heard a crack and Jake went flying ten feet backwards. I growled and lunged at my dad, trying to get in between him and Jake. Arms wrapped around me from behind and started to drag me backwards toward the car.

"Let me go!" I screamed.

Nahuel didn't respond, just kept dragging me. Finally he opened the door and threw me in, climbing in after me to pin me down. I kept up my struggles and watched through the window as Jake got back up and took no time at all to transform. He and my dad went at it, not bothering to keep it civil. My mom had a hard time darting in and out, trying to subdue them but not get hit herself. I was gasping now in big, tearless, sobs as I screamed and screamed and screamed. Nahuel kept my hands wrapped behind my back in his own. I felt his fingers touch the spot where my engagement ring had been, but I didn't care. All I cared about was trying to save Jake from getting killed or mauled by my father.

"Damn it _let me go!_" I screamed at Nahuel, trying to twist around and face him.

His face remained impassive.

"If you don't let me go then just bite me! Bite me and get it over with so I can be your damned wife for eternity! Or better yet, just kill me now! Drink all of that wonderful blood from my veins!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

It was low blow, but Nahuel flinched and loosened his hold. In a second I was out of the car and running toward the fight.

"Stop! Stop it!" I screamed verbally and in my head.

Nothing got their attention. Finally, as a last resort, I screamed out something that just popped in my head.

"We're _married!"_

My dad stopped dead in his tracks. Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned to face me.

"You're lying," he hissed, eyes narrowed. I backed up a step.

"Maybe," I said in a small voice, "or maybe not."

His teeth shone as his lips curled up and he released a hair-raising growl.

"We're engaged," I gasped.

The growling rose in intensity and I contemplated running.

"Edward," Mom said from the side.

"Don't stop me Bella. This is utterly _unacceptable_." He hissed at her without letting me out of his sights.

My mom stepped toward me and wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders. Her shield was raised, I noticed with some surprise. She never raised it against family, especially my father.

Jacob stood, feet planted, hackles raised. He was breathing hard, but he didn't look hurt. He narrowed his eyes at me before turning them back to my dad. _So much for that_, the look had said.

"Can we just…talk about it?" I said imploringly.

"What's there to talk about?" Rose said indignantly, emerging from the forest.

Jake growled at her.

"Let's take the chance and kill the mutt," she said disdainfully, curling her lips back and going into a crouch.

"Not kill him," my dad said, "Just maim him a little."

"I say we don't do that just yet," Emmett interrupted, coming out of the woods behind Rose.

Rose narrowed her eyes. Emmett stood calmly in her path to Jacob.

"We don't even know what happened yet. They could be bluffing." His eyes flickered to me and then away.

"That's never stopped you before," Rose said scathingly.

"This is different. This is family." Emmett crossed his arms, muscles rippling.

"He talked to Carlisle," Edward said, annoyed.

"Jake," I said quietly.

He moved over to my side. Rose shadowed him the whole way.

"Are you hurt?" I turned toward him, exposing my back to everyone else.

He snorted and shook out his fur briefly, annoyed I was asking this question. I stamped my foot.

"Answer the question."

He wrinkled his muzzle and never took his eyes off my family.

I sighed and touched his jaw right where my dad had clocked him. He winced, but I couldn't feel any broken bones. It was likely just bruised, but it would be ugly.

"I can't believe you just punched him out. He didn't even do anything to you." I whirled around, arms folded, eyes blazing, to face my dad.

His jaw clenched, but he didn't say anything. Just then huge wolves started to poke their bodies through the trees. Jake's pack, I realized. Leah towered over Rose, who backed up, snarling.

Outnumbered, my dad and Rose retreated, taking up more relaxed poses.

"Renesmee, come with us. Now."

My mom interjected before I could respond. "I think Ren's good here. She can meet us back at the house later."

My father made a noise.

"Let's go," Mom said firmly.

Mercifully, they left, making sure to slam the car doors in emphasis. I realized suddenly that Nahuel hadn't entered the scene at all. I swept them out of my mind and turned to Jacob, who still stood towering over me. He didn't relax until we couldn't hear their car anymore.

He slowly morphed back, groaning when he finally entered his human body again. He pulled on his clothes and then swept me up in his arms.

"I'm so so sorry," I whispered into his neck.

He just held me tighter. I leaned back and kissed him fiercely, only stopping when he winced.

"Oh," I said when I saw the bruise forming along his jaw.

It was bright purple and yellowing around the edges. It spread from the bottom left of his jaw to his chin, and even covered the lower part of his cheek.

"Oh, Jake," I said, my hands fluttering around it.

"It's fine," he grunted.

"What _the hell_ was that?" Leah asked, fuming and frustrated as she emerged from the trees.

The rest of the pack followed, staying slightly behind her. I shrank into Jacob's side under Embry's glare. Jake wrapped a protective arm around me, but nudged me forward until I stood a little in front of him.

"Show them," he told me.

I held out my right arm, and the sunlight caught the little gems threaded into the strands of my promise bracelet. They all stared at it, and then Seth cheered. Quil clapped and Embry looked skeptical. He, I decided, wasn't going to be easy to convince this was for real. Leah smiled for a second, and then looked at Jacob.

"They obviously crossed over the line, Jacob," She said, eyes boring into his.

"I'm not going to go after them, Leah. Not when they're my future parents-in-law. Besides, they were acting independently. Carlisle ordered them to be nice."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm contemplating disinheritance," I said aloud.

Jake rubbed a hand along my back. "It's nothing, Ren. They just have to get used to it."

"Wait. Wasn't she engaged already?" Embry said suddenly, eyes narrowing.

"I broke it off, obviously." I folded my arms.

He snorted.

"We just have a few loose ends to tie up, but we _are_ going to get married, Em," Jacob told him sternly.

Leah shifted impatiently. "What are we going to do about this, though? We can't just let them get away with it!" Her face crumpled into a scowl.

"First," I started, "I think we should get some ice on Jake's jaw."

* * *

_~Not everyone can keep their cool. Keep reading!~_


	52. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

We settled down on the couch and Seth fetched a bag of ice for Jake. I wrapped it in a towel and sat next to him, watching as he gingerly touched it to his bruise. He caught my look and tried to reassure me.

"It'll be gone in a couple of hours, don't worry Ren."

I shook my head and picked at my hem, silently contemplating the scene that had happened.

"So we just let them beat us up and get away with it?" Leah seethed.

"Well, like Jake said, they were acting independently," Quil pointed out.

"That still doesn't justify their actions," Embry argued.

Leah nodded in agreement.

"I'll go home, try and sort things out," I told them, standing up.

Jake grabbed my arm. "Don't."

I shook my head. "It's better if they kill me first," I joked.

He growled and stood. "If you go, I go."

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that's the best thing right now."

"She's right," Embry said, "they'll just get angrier."

"I'm not letting her deal with them unprotected!" Jake rounded on him.

"I'll go," Seth said in a quiet voice.

I looked to him where he leaned against the counter, drumming his fingers. He shot me a small smile and then pushed himself off. Jake assessed him. Seth stood there, flexing his fingers. Finally Jake nodded, and I gave him a quick peck before heading out the door with Seth.

"If something happens, get her out of there," I heard Jake say in an undertone.

"Yeah," Seth replied.

He followed me down the steps and I glanced at my car.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Seth said.

He stood a bit away from me, bare chested. I saw his t-shirt hanging over the porch railing.

"Oh, um, okay." I shifted on the gravel.

"We're probably going to come back here, and driving everywhere would be a hassle," he explained with a smile.

"Oh. Right." I felt my cheeks color slightly.

I looked up at him and noticed he was a good head taller than me. I had never actually hung out with Seth alone, and it startled me to see him like this. He looked more muscular and menacing without Quil or Embry to compare him to.

"I'll meet you by the broken tree." He gestured towards the woods.

I nodded and jogged the short distance he had chosen. In a short time he joined me, his light brown fur rustling against branches. His shorts were tied to his leg.

"Ready?" I asked him.

He nodded and huffed a little, nervous and impatient.

"Okay, here we go."

We both took off at a blinding pace, the green and brown of the forest blurring together. Soon I could smell the sweet scent left behind from my family, making tracks through the trees. The trees started to thin out, and suddenly we were in the clearing behind the house. Nearby the river gurgled, and the birds were singing. It was so peaceful. It betrayed nothing of the explosion going on inside the house. I could hear my family yelling and hissing from inside.

Suddenly it became quiet, too quiet, and Seth and I looked at each other nervously.

Nahuel appeared on the porch, and he wasted no time getting to us.

"Tell me," he demanded.

I blinked. I had expected him to be the same as always, calm, cool, and collected.

"Tell you…what, exactly?" I didn't really know what he wanted me to tell him.

"Tell me why you could choose an _animal_ over me," he spat. Anger flashed in his eyes.

"Jacob is not an animal."

Carlisle and Esme came out of the house and were watching from the porch.

Nahuel waited, arms crossed.

"Some things…happened, while we were together, and I couldn't control myself. I love him. It's as simple as that. There's a deeper connection between us, this whole vast ocean of love that I never realized until this week. I was kidding myself before, and all he did was wait around for me to realize it."

"So what we had was…what was that, Renesmee?"

I was shocked that he was being this aggressive with me. I had never seen him like this before, but I started to get angry. I was sick of having to explain myself to everyone, especially because it was something I couldn't explain very well to begin with.

"I loved you Nahuel, I still love you, but it's just that I love Jacob more."

I said it with a bit more venom than I had intended, and Nahuel's lips curled back over his teeth in response.

"What does he have that I don't?" He took a step closer.

"What is with guys and thinking they lack something?" I threw my hands up in exasperation. "He's _alive_ Nahuel, more alive than the both of us. He's free and strong-willed and passionate. I can't explain it any better than that. I don't have to be cautious when I'm with him."

He took that in for a moment, and then he sped forward, grabbed my wrist and whipped me to the opposite end of the clearing.

"I could make it so that you won't have to be cautious with me ever again," he breathed against my ear.

Seth growled and started racing toward us. Carlisle started towards us as well, but Esme had disappeared.

Nahuel's breath tickled my skin lower until his lips brushed ever so slightly against my neck. I inhaled sharply and he paused. Then he slowly dragged his tongue against my skin. He held me from behind, my arms bent over my chest and his arms overlapping them, so there was no chance of escape.

"You might want to stop, wolf," he warned Seth quietly, his mouth only centimeters from my neck.

Seth slowed down to a trot, and then he stood and whined. He was only about twenty feet away, nothing for him to leap out and pin Nahuel down, but Nahuel held me angled toward Seth. Carlisle had paused, too, and now the rest of my family joined him, spreading out in a semi-circle.

"Now, Renesmee, see how easy it is to erase any difficulties we might have?"

"Nahuel," I said carefully.

He chuckled against my skin, and planted a kiss over my collarbone.

"I could make you more powerful than you could ever imagine," He whispered.

I kept still. His voice had changed, and I only noticed it now. A menacing tone had crept into it, like he was enjoying my fear. I could feel my body giving off the scent of adrenaline, and my increased heartbeat crashed in my ears.

Rose gave off a shrill noise and ran forward.

I felt Nahuel growl, his chest rumbled against my back. Suddenly I felt the cold of his teeth scrape down the skin of my neck, from the base of my ear to my left collarbone.

Rose skidded to a halt and looked at me with wide eyes, fear and rage emanating from them.

"Now, I don't think anyone wants to do anything rash," Nahuel said pleasantly, and then he laughed.

He dragged me back a few feet. My skin prickled where his teeth had come in contact with it, but he hadn't seemed to penetrate it.

Seth growled and snapped at the air a few times, but stayed where he was.

"Nahuel," My dad said angrily, walking forward two feet.

My mom stared helplessly at me, her shield not being able to help since Nahuel was so intertwined with me. It was impossible to slip it in between us.

Nahuel raised a slender finger, but didn't move his clenched hand away.

"Ah, Edward, I have not the same restraint you possessed when dealing with Bella. My patience has worn thin."

He planted kisses across my shoulders, and each time I felt his cold teeth touch my skin for just an instant.

"I thought she would have second thoughts about being my wife. She is young, and he an accomplished warrior; but I always thought she would be mine. I thought she would see her mistakes and return to me. I saw myself laying her down and making her truly mine," he sniffed, "but he has even stolen that from me."

I made a noise in my throat. I couldn't help it. He had just announced to my family that I wasn't a virgin anymore. He chuckled.

"You think I couldn't tell? You smell of him, and not just the scent on your clothes. You smell like him from the _inside_ – your scents are mixed, and wafting from your skin," he growled, "He _defiled you_."

My family kept their emotions in check, surprisingly enough.

"She's ours to deal with," My father told him in a low voice. He had crept forward while Nahuel was talking into my ear, but he still seemed so far away.

"Nahuel, please," I whispered.

My eyes pricked, but there were no tears.

He pecked my cheek. "It will all be over soon, my darling, I promise."

I trembled as I felt his breath on my neck again.

"No, Nahuel, please, please, Nahuel, no," I said over and over, my voice cracking.

"You'll be mine," He whispered, and his lips brushed my neck.


	53. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

I crashed through the edge of the trees and raced at the bloodsucker who had a strangle hold on my life. He had her angled in front of him, but I pounded at his side, using my paws to take him down. The fall loosened his hold on Ren and she rolled away, safe from my claws. I mauled his chest and bit at his neck with my teeth, beginning to tear him apart.

The leech recovered quickly.

He slammed his arms up into my chest, forcing the air to rush out of my lungs. He kicked my back legs out and caught my head in a dangerous grip as he rolled me under him. I tried to breathe in but he was crushing my windpipe. I tried snapping at him but he was smart enough to give himself enough space.

Leah jumped at his face, her jaws catching on his hair. She ripped him off me and I flipped over, drawing in a long breath. Seth, Quil and Embry helped Leah keep the demon away. Jasper, Blondie and Emmett ran to help them.

My eyes tried to find Ren, and I finally saw her half supporting herself, still lying down. The rest of her family surrounded her. They partially obstructed her from view, and I wondered why they weren't getting her the hell out of there.

Then she let out a scream that froze the blood in my veins. She was hurt.

* * *

I hadn't believed it when I saw Jake bursting through the trees. Nahuel was caught off guard and Jake had pounced on him. Nahuel had half-pushed me out of the way when his arms went up to fight Jacob off, and I used the extra momentum to roll myself out from under his sharp claws.

My dad had caught my arms and dragged me up. We had started to run back to the house, my family shouting plans to one another, when my limbs stopped reacting. Then I felt a twinge in my neck. As I fell, I wondered why the ground didn't look solid.

The ground was hard and unforgiving as my body slammed into it. I tried to get my arms to react, but they stayed uselessly at my sides.

And then the pain.

It was like a million fire ants were biting me, torturing my skin. At the same moment my muscles began to hurt, like I had over-used them on a particularly grueling day of exercising, and weird aching numbness started in my ribs. Pain split my skull in two, and the world became over-bright. The light seared my eyes, and the pain only intensified when I closed my lids over them.

I couldn't help it, I screamed. It was the only way to let the pain out.

All the while I could feel a sensation like hot liquid being poured on my neck.

* * *

I raced toward Renesmee, my heart in my throat. I didn't even register when I phased, but suddenly I was kneeling by her side on the grass, my knees covered in dirt. She had her eyes shut, her arms clenched by her sides, and she was rocking side to side, alternating between moaning and screaming. Bella was cradling her head, and Carlisle knelt beside her.

"I don't know how it's going to affect her, she's not human, but she seems to be in pain," He told Edward.

"Obviously!" He shouted back, furious, "She's half-human, Carlisle! We need to get her help!"

"Her skin is already closing over the wound, it doesn't want to stay open." Carlisle looked concerned.

I knew then that the killer leech had bitten her. Right before I had taken him down, his teeth had marked my beautiful Ren. I growled. The bloodsuckers were taking too long. She had needed help as soon as she hit the ground.

Without really thinking about it I flipped her over so her left side was up, facing me. One perfect half-moon bite stood out against her skin, red and angry. The outer edges were already turning pink, trying to heal. The inside was still red and full of blood welling to the surface. I had to do this or else she would die; she would no longer be my Ren. I took a deep breath and put my lips to her neck, right over the crescent.

The first mouthful I sucked in I almost choked. It tasted like mold. The stupid leeches tasted worse than they smelled. I coughed and quickly spit the tainted blood to the side. It coated the grass, turning black. I sucked in another mouthful of blood, and spit that out faster than the first one. I started to suck the venom out of her, slowly poisoning myself so that she would live. With each mouthful the venom built a little more in my mouth – I couldn't spit it all out, it would take too long and the wound would close.

When it finally did close, her blood had returned almost back to normal. Another minute more and she would have been perfect. As it stood, she had stopped screaming and whimpering, which was all I cared about. Her family stood silently around us, Bella still cradling her daughter's head in her lap.

I rested my palms on my knees and bent my head down. A glass of water appeared in my vision, and I used it to rinse out my mouth. When I was done and I looked gratefully up at Esme, who gave me a second glass to do the same again. I didn't argue with her, my head was spinning and breathing was a little difficult. I didn't really care I was naked in front of a whole group of vampires, I just felt grateful that I did what I could while the stupid bloodsuckers stood around.

When I had handed the glasses back to Esme I laid down next to Ren, who had her eyes closed as if she was sleeping. I wrapped my hand in her hair and pressed our noses and foreheads together. Someone draped a blanket over me, but I kept my eyes closed, willing life back into my life. Slowly, the world faded away and I was left in darkness.


	54. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

Something was sticking to my arm. I shook it gently, trying to get it off. That just made it uncomfortable. I reached my other arm over and discovered that it moved slowly, too heavy to lift. My fingers picked at the thing – it felt like tape of some kind. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at the offending arm.

It was an IV drip.

I looked up and around and saw I was in a guest room at Bella's place.

"What the –"

I sat up and looked around again. The sky outside the window was dark, and the sheets were warm and tucked firmly around me. I started to squirm.

Soft footsteps in the hallway made me pause. The door handle turned and the door slowly swung open. Ren poked her head around the doorframe.

"Ren," I gasped her name out loud.

She smiled and sidled into the room, keeping her distance.

"Hi, Jacob."

"Ren, you're alive." I felt so relieved, and overjoyed.

"Thanks to you." She smiled.

She still kept her distance.

I frowned at her.

She ran her fingers nervously through her hair. Her eyes kept darting around the room, nervous and watchful.

Fear pulsed through me. "I didn't stop it in time."

"But you did, Jake. Listen."

She stayed quiet, and I tried to pinpoint what she wanted me to hear. Then I heard it. One slow heartbeat thudded in the sudden quiet. I waited the span of one breath, and another two beats thudded into existence. It was her heart, beating slower than before, but it was still beating.

"Now I sound like a regular human," she said, smiling a little.

_Slower than a regular heartbeat, so much slower_ I thought.

"What else has changed?" I asked carefully.

_How long have I been out?_ I wondered to myself.

"You've been out about three days," she said quietly, readjusting her blouse. "We've monitored your fluids and gave you the IV, and Carlisle injected some type of serum into your system. I think it helped you fight off the venom that got in you."

I stared at her, shocked. When her eyes finally glanced up to mine, she smirked a little.

"My abilities have…intensified, somewhat. I can't read minds, but if people are reliving a particular memory or emotion I can catch on."

"So…you could tell what I was thinking right now?"

That unnerved me.

"Only because your brain re-called the event that made your body go into a state of shock, yea."

She leaned against the cabinet and I couldn't see any softness in her arms. She looked hard as rock. She watched me watch her, and finally she walked over.

"I'm break-proof now, Jake."

"You were always break-proof," I muttered.

She laughed as she held out an arm for me to examine. I wrapped my hands around her smooth fore-arm and squeezed. Her skin didn't give as much as it had before, but it wasn't completely rock-hard like her family's, which I was grateful for. Her skin was cooler, too, like she had stood in front of an air conditioning vent for a few minutes. But she was still my Ren, with just a few slight modifications.

I rested my head back against the pillows to smile at her. Her answering smile was timid.

"What?" I asked her.

"You," she cleared her throat, "you don't find me repulsive?"

Her voice almost cracked at the end.

I slowly wove my fingers through hers.

"You would never be repulsive to me, Ren. You'll always be the most beautiful woman I could imagine."

She could still blush.

I pulled her down beside me, ignoring the noises she made about the tubes coming out of my arm.

"I'm fine, just come here," I grumbled at her.

She finally relented and snuggled into my side, resting her head on my shoulder. I leaned my cheek against her hair and held her, listening to her still-beating heart.

"I love you, Ren."

"I love you too, Jake."

There was a brief silence before she spoke again.

"Thanks for saving me."

"Anytime," I answered, squeezing her.


	55. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I got up and made my way between the chairs. A spotlight hit me as I stepped up to the microphone, and everyone hushed their conversations. I cleared my throat, suddenly nervous, and glanced over the crowd. A stunning woman caught my eye, dressed in a floating gown of gold. Renesmee flashed me a smile and a thumbs up for encouragement, and I smiled in return. Then I looked over to Quil and Claire.

"Being the best Best Man is the hardest job to do, especially with Quil here." The crowd laughed. "He kept pestering me about this speech for months on end, and I told him I'd get it done. He didn't believe me. I've known Quil forever, ever since we both got in trouble for teasing Mr. Wind's chicken with feather head-dresses." More laughter.

I continued on with my speech, congratulating the new bride and groom, and toasting to their happiness. Everyone applauded, we drank champagne, and the party continued. Quil came up to me and clapped me on the back.

"Great speech, Jake, great speech."

"Thanks. I told you I'd get it done," I told him, shaking my head.

The band struck up a song and he nodded over to Renesmee, who was chatting with Leah.

"Go dance with your happiness, man."

I nodded and clapped him on the back before making my way over. Ren turned and smiled at me, watching as I strode closer. Leah excused herself and went to find Liam. I held out my hand.

"Care to dance, Ms. Cullen?"

She put her hand in mine and I led her out onto the dance floor.

"You better start wearing out that name," she told me, her eyes mischievous.

"And why is that?" I asked her, exuding surprise. I spun her around and pulled her close again.

She put her lips to my ear and whispered. "Because I'm stealing someone else's surname soon."

She pulled back to look in my eyes.

"What an unfortunate person, to have their name stolen like that. What will your new name be?" I pretended to be led on.

"I've been going back and forth for a while," she started, "but I really do like the sound of Mrs. Black."

I looked into her eyes, sparkling with happiness, and thought _I am the luckiest man in the world_. I bent down to kiss her lips.

"Hey, watch out buddy, she's engaged!" Quil said as he danced by us with Claire.

Claire rolled her eyes and laughed, and they were gone.

Ren giggled as she watched them, moving closer to me. I locked my arms around her hips and watched her. The single gold strap curled over her left collarbone, perfectly hiding her half-moon scar. The back of the dress plunged, ending just an inch above my fingertips. The gold sparkled, perfectly accentuating the gold in her hair and the way her eyes glittered.

"I think you're more beautiful than the bride, tonight," I said in an undertone.

She shook her head. "No one can out shine Claire tonight. She's so happy."

I didn't argue with her, even though I didn't agree.

We danced together for a few more songs, and stayed for the cutting of the cake, a few more drinks, and then we arranged for the farewell ceremony. We dragged Quil and Claire away from each other. Claire changed into another dress and then came back into the hall. We surrounded Quil while Claire's bridesmaids surrounded her. All of us sang an old Quileute song meant to give fertility and a raucous sex life for the couple. The bridesmaids threw cloth "babies" over Claire, as well as presenting her with a garter, a bottle of tequila, and a fertility cloth. We shoved Scotch, lubricant, and a dream catcher at Quil, and then they were off, highly embarrassed but happy.

Still laughing, I grabbed Ren and followed them outside to wave goodbye to their limo. We then said goodbye to both parties' parents, and made for my white rabbit in the parking lot. Ren was staying the night with me, and I had something planned. Good thing Edward had finally loosened up and accepted the inevitable. After the destruction of Nahuel, Bella had talked to him about the truce and reminded him that I had saved Ren's life twice. Then Ren talked to him (pleaded, really), and he finally relented. Blondie was more than pissed about it, but I just ignored her. Alice was being civil, at least. She liked how happy I made Ren (she agreed to almost anything Alice suggested for the wedding as a result). Emmett was thrilled to have another wrestling partner. Esme was delighted, as was Carlisle, about the two families being integrated and the prospects of future generations to come. Jasper was keeping his distance, but we had a nice solid base going for a friendship.

All in all, I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with the only person I'd ever loved. I looked over at the passenger seat at Ren, her hair taken down from the up-do she had worn, her feet bare, bopping her head to the radio. I reached over and took her hand in mine. She smiled and kissed me.

"Thanks for waiting," she told me.

I rubbed my thumb over her hand.

"Thanks for being mine," I replied.


	56. Epilogue

_~And so, it comes to the end. I hope you all like it! Cheers.~_

* * *

**Epilogue**

Jacob finally took the blindfold off and set me down on my feet. He had advised me to bring flats, and I was glad I had listened to him when I heard the soft crunch of pine needles. I opened my eyes and gasped. We were in the forest, deep in the forest, and hundreds of tiny white Christmas lights twinkled in the dark, hanging from branches. A generator whirred almost silently nearby. A trail of flowers stretched from my feet to the entrance of a tent, whose inside had blankets and pillows scattered inside.

"Oh, Jake. It's beautiful."

He grinned as I looked at him, eyes wide, hand over my mouth in total disbelief.

"I'm glad you like it."

"So this is why you were late picking me up. I should have known you had something up your sleeve."

He chuckled and led me forward, his hand on the small of my back. I took a last glance at the lights before ducking my head to step into the tent. He followed, and started unpacking things from a basket. Plates appeared, along with appetizers and some sparkling water.

"I figured we'd drink enough at the wedding. We don't need hangovers out here."

I nodded and watched the lights illuminate the trees outside. It was so peaceful out here, and so romantic. We hardly talked while we ate, just enjoying the ambiance. If we did talk it was about the wedding, how much fun it was, what we wanted to copy at ours. Light talk, but really nice. We fed each other dessert, and topped it off with a chocolate liquor shot.

"That was amazing, love," I said drowsily, lying back against the cushions.

I wondered how he got all of this out here. A flash of intuition let me see a huge wolf with supplies in its mouth. I giggled at the thought.

He pushed everything aside and closed the tent flap. I sat up as he took off his shirt. Raising an eyebrow, I let my eyes rove over his form appreciatively. I felt the rush of butterflies, but I was apprehensive. It was only a week since my transformation, and I wasn't so sure how my body would behave. I had brought it up with Jake a few days before, when things had heated up a little, but he said we'd find out when we got there again.

He came to kneel in front of me and took my hands in his.

"We don't have to." He looked sincere.

This was totally up to me. I stared at him in the light filtering through the tent walls, his torso gleaming, his hair styled back. I smiled, thinking I was the luckiest girl in the world to be marrying him.

"Practice makes perfect, right?"

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me. "Right."

* * *

_~I was thinking of continuing on and writing about their wedding and married life, their efforts to have kids. Let me know if you'd like to see a sequel with all that in it! :) ~_


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